Gravity
by laurieanne
Summary: A continuation to Lost Together. Patrick and Robin work to build their family and get away from the one person who wants to split them up. This story is somewhat of an ensemble piece.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"We're going to be late" she said breathlessly as he left a trail of wet kisses on her breast.

"Does that mean you want to stop?" he asked, eyes dancing. As she contemplated her answer, he buried his throbbing arousal deep inside her.

She gasped. "I'm okay with being late" she panted.

He lay still between her legs. "Are you sure?"

She moved her hips against him in an effort to get him moving. "Very sure."

He crashed his mouth down on hers, their tongues tangling with each other. She lifted her hips from the bed, desperate for him to go deeper. Accepting her silent request, he lifted her leg and placed it up against his shoulder. Her hands reached up, needing to touch his skin. No matter how long they had been together, there was still the same, urgent need to be with each other, to touch and to taste. He could feel her tighten around him and she threw her head back and closed her eyes.

"Look at me" he demanded.

Her body was beginning to tremble with her orgasm. Her eyes flew open and locked on his. Her breathing was ragged and she dug her nails into his shoulders, she simply could not get enough of him. He thrust hard against her as his name tore from her lips, her climax made her entire body shake. He followed her over the edge and collapsed against her, spent. Their bodies glistened with sweat and she ran her hands down his back as they both waited for their heart rates to return to normal.

Rolling off of her and on to his back, he gathered her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart pounding through his chest. "Have you told Patrick about us?" she asked.

He smirked. "No."

She lifted her head. "Why not?"

"For the same reason you haven't told Robin you're sleeping with her father-in-law" Noah said.

"Do you think we should be telling people?" Brenda asked as she laid her head back down.

Noah pressed his lips against the top of her head, gently trailing his fingers down her arm. "I like this being something just for us. Do you want to tell people?"

"Not really" she smiled, dropping a small kiss on his chest.

"So, we should probably get showered and changed and head over"

"Are we showering together?" she asked seductively.

"Luckily for me, we don't have time for separate showers."

xxxxx

"I spoke to Alan today" Robin said as she placed a tray of herbed goat cheese sandwiches on the dining room table. Walking behind her, Patrick popped one in his mouth. Robin slapped his hand. "Those are for the guests" she admonished.

"Quality control babe" he smiled. "Did you get the sushi?"

"Yes I got the sushi. I got everything we needed, prepared all the food and decorated the house while you were at the hospital." Robin's voice was a little harsher than she intended.

"I was going to help you" he protested "but I got called in."

"I know" she sighed. "It's just, this is our first party, our first Christmas Eve together and there's about 20 people going to descend on our house in an hour."

"So you're saying you're stressed?" he asked, snaking his arms around her waist.

"I'm a little stressed and I haven't had any help" she said, leaning back into his embrace.

"I'll do all the clean up." He nuzzled her neck.

"I've heard that before. Did you hear me? I said I spoke to Alan today and he's agreed that I can start back to work in the new year."

Patrick dropped his arms from her waist. It had been two months since they had returned from Australia. They had come home married and committed to each other. The madness of her brain injury behind them, they worked at building their family life and adjusting to the routine of domesticity. The only real disagreement they had was Robin's eagerness to return to work. "I don't understand your need to rush back - your mat leave covers you until April."

"Patrick" she sighed as she turned to face him. "I haven't worked since May - lest you forget that I was forced on leave early. I like to work, my work is important and I want to go back. There are no real reasons as to why I can't."

"What about Rian?" he asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Well maybe you'd like to take a few months off from your career and be a stay-at-home dad?" He grimaced. "I didn't think so. Your career is not more important than my career and if you're not willing to take months off, why should I? The hospital has a fine day care and Rian will be very happy there. Liz has Cameron in there and Nathalie leaves Oliver there three days a week. I'm going back to work in January - deal with it."

He couldn't help but smile as he saw they way her jaw was set, he knew the battle was lost. Her eyes were blazing, daring him to contradict him. "Robin, it's Christmas Eve, our friends and family are coming to celebrate with us - I don't want to fight."

"Who's fighting?" she said. "I'm just telling you." Their argument was interrupted by Rian's cries as he woke from his nap. "Your son needs to be fed and changed and I need to shower. His bottle is in the fridge."

She tried to brush past him but he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him. He nipped at her lips. "I love you wife."

"I'm mad at you so I only like you, husband"

He nuzzled her earlobe. "Nah, you love me" he said.

She sighed exaggeratedly. "Pretty sure of yourself there buckoo"

"Yup." He kissed her cheek and swatted her on the behind as he let her go and headed for the fridge to retrieve Rian's bottle.

xxxxx

Their house was buzzing with activity. It had been Patrick's idea to invite everyone over for Christmas Eve so that they could have a quiet first Christmas together. Mac, Georgie and Maxie had arrived first and both teens were fussing over Rian. Liz, Lucky and Cameron were next and set off a steady stream of people arriving including Alexis, Ric, Molly and Kristina, Kelly and Milo, Lainey, Lulu and Brenda. Nikolas and Nathalie arrived, arms full of children and presents. Robin grinned as she opened the door.

Nathalie rolled her eyes. "Seriously. All I want for Christmas is a sherpa" she joked as she walked through the door. Gracie ran into the house ahead of her. "Patty! Patty!" Nathalie shook her head. "I swear the child had manners once"

Robin laughed. "Can I take something for you?"

"Sure - these are for you" she said handing her two bags of gifts. She set Oliver down and the ground and he walked as quickly as his legs would carry him in search of his sister.

"He's turning into a champion walker. Where's Nik?"

"Getting Spencer out of the car seat. I offered to help but I think I may have insulted his manhood in the process."

"I know" Robin giggled. "Patrick got the belt done up wrong on Rian the other day and told me he had a medical degree and didn't need my help in figuring out a stupid seat"

"Men!" Nathalie teased.

"You called?" Nikolas said, coming through the door. Putting Spencer down, he too took off looking for his friend Oliver.

Robin gave him a big hug. "I can't believe Spencer is walking" she remarked.

"I think he thinks he's in competition with Oliver. Anything he can do, Spencer wants to do it too!"

"Well they're only a month apart in age" Nathalie said.

"I can't wait for Rian to walk"

"Yes you can" the couple replied in unison. "They get into everything!" Nathalie said. "Having them immobile means freedom for you."

"I guess I'm at the right house" Noah said, coming in behind.

"Hello father-in-law" Robin beamed, wrapping her arms around him.

"Hello daughter-in-law" he replied.

Robin pulled back and stared at him. "You look different"

"More grey" he said, running his hands through his hair.

"I'm not sure that's it but let's get everyone inside. There is enough food for a small country and I'm counting on you guys eating your share."

Nikolas linked his fingers through Nathalie's and headed into the living room. Kristina and Molly came running towards their cousin as soon as they saw him. "Nik!!" they cried, both jumping on him.

Nathalie dropped his hand and kissed his cheek quickly. "I'm going to go say hi to Alexis." Nikolas nodded. He watched her as she crossed the room. Their relationship had grown slowly and was stronger everyday. He had wanted to ask her to move into Wyndermere with him but because her parents were suing her for custody of her children, he didn't feel that he could. He was pleased that his aunt Alexis had agreed to take her case. Having recently resigned as District Attorney, she had reopened her private practice and had been happy to take on Nathalie as a client. The two women had hit it off instantly and Nikolas felt his heart swell at the idea of building a real family.

"Hi Ric" Nathalie said as she approached.

"Hey Nathalie" he said, kissing her cheek. "Merry Christmas"

"And to you. Hi Alexis."

"How's my favourite client?" she asked.

"Aren't I your only client?" she teased.

"Yes but that doesn't mean I have to like you. That you are my favourite client is just a bonus" she grinned. "So Nikolas is hosting all of us for dinner tomorrow night?"

Nathalie nodded. "Gracie is beside herself with excitement that she gets to spend Christmas with Molly and Kristina"

"Well the girls are pretty fond of her too. Are the kids still going to your parents?"

Nathalie nodded. "I would prefer not to send them but having considered your advice, you're right, it's something they've always done and it's an act of good faith. I just hope it pays off."

"We have another 3 weeks to prepare for the case - we will pull out all the stops" she said reassuringly.

Nathalie smiled gratefully. "They can't get my kids Alexis, they just can't."

"Who can't get your kids?" Patrick asked coming up behind them. He hugged Nathalie from behind. "Merry Christmas bottom feeder."

"Same to you quack"

"Who's trying to get your kids?" Patrick asked, returning to the original question.

"I think we should go rescue Nik from the our kids" Ric said to Alexis, holding out his hand.

"We'll talk" Alexis said to Nathalie. "Hang in there."

"Thanks" she smiled.

Patrick moved to stand in front of his friend. "Nat? What's going on?"

Looking at him, Nathalie knew the time had come to tell Patrick. Her parents had served her with papers in the middle of his crisis with Robin and he had been in such a bad place that she didn't feel it appropriate to tell him. He and Robin stayed in Australia for nearly a month after their wedding and Nathalie didn't have the opportunity to tell him then. Truthfully she had been hoping to avoid ever telling him - she had been hoping that her parents would change their minds and back down but cooler heads weren't prevailing and they were going ahead with their lawsuit. She exhaled quietly. "My parents are suing me for custody of the kids."

"What?!" he exclaimed, loudly enough that several people turned and stared. "When the hell did this happen? And where the hell do they get off?"

Nathalie closed her eyes for a brief moment. She had lived through some painful experiences in her life but this one was ranking right up there. "A few months ago - they object to me leaving DC, to dating Nikolas, to not working as a lawyer and somehow they think I'm an unfit mother."

"A few months ago - you never said?" his eyes flashed with momentary hurt.

She gave him a wry smile. "You had some stuff going on."

Patrick shook his head and pulled her into his arms. "I am so sorry Nat. I can't believe they are trying this. I hate your parents, you understand that, right?"

Smiling against his shoulder, she gave a small laugh. "Thanks P - I hate them too."

xxxxx

Robin leaned up against the china cabinet beside Brenda and Lulu and followed their gaze. "What or who are we staring at?" she asked.

"Don't you think your father-in-law is hot?" Lulu asked.

Robin choked on her drink. "Um, yes, Noah is an attractive man."

"Is he single?" she asked.

Brenda spun her head to the side. "Why?" she asked defensively.

Robin arched an eyebrow at her friend's sudden reaction. "I haven't talked to Noah about his love life but I believe he is single. Though I think he's a little old for you Lu."

"There is nothing wrong with an older man" Brenda said quickly.

"I never said there was" Robin said slowly. "I merely said that given that Lulu is just 18, Noah might be a bit old for her."

"Nah, I'm not interested in dating him" Lulu said. "I'm just curious as to why such a good looking and nice guy is single - why hasn't some lady snapped him up. If I was, like, a decade older...okay maybe two decades older I would so bet putting the moves on him."

Brenda drained her wine glass. "I'm going to go say hi to Nikolas" she said walking off. Robin watched her walk away, fidgeting with her hands. Her mouth twisted into a wry smile. After Christmas Robin was going to pin her down and find out exactly what was going on between her best friend and her father-in-law.

xxxxx

He sealed the envelope and checked the address one last time. Comparing it to the address on his screen, he had copied it perfectly. Pulling on his coat, he pulled it around him tightly, sometimes the wind could cut right through you. It was a bitterly cold winter in the city and people weren't going outside unless they had to. He considered the trip to the mailbox as a must-do. He put the envelope in his pocket and headed out the door. He lowered his head down against the wind and quickly walked the four blocks to the nearest mailbox. Pulling the envelope from his pocket, he looked at it one last time.

Mr. and Mrs. John Harder  
2137 Strathcona Drive  
McLean, Virginia  
22101

Bruce dropped in the box and allowed himself a satisfied smile as he sprinted back to his hotel room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Patrick flopped onto the couch beside Robin and Rian. "Every last dish is either in the dishwasher or put away."

"Good" she said, biting back a smile.

"Good? I do all the cleanup and all I get is good?" he asked, looking at her.

Robin stroked a sleeping Rian's head. "Well you said you would do all the clean up because I did all the set up - what are you looking for - a reward?"

Patrick grinned and leaning in, pulled her lips into his. "As a matter of fact, I am" he said against her mouth. "A really, really big reward."

Robin ran her tongue along his bottom lip. "Honey, really, really big is your department, not mine"

He gasped jokingly and covered Rian's ears. "Your momma is such a dirty girl"

Giving him a sideways grin, she looked at him. "Would you have me any other way?"

"Er, no" he said quickly. "Why don't I put our little man to bed and you put another log on the fire?"

"Okay" she agreed. Kissing Rian's cheek, she nuzzled his face. "Goodnight baby boy - when you wake up tomorrow we'll see what Santa has brought you." She kissed him once more before placing him in Patrick's open arms. He kissed the top of her forehead before taking Rian upstairs.

Robin got up from the couch and turned of all the lights in the living room save for the Christmas tree. Reaching down, she gently placed another log on the fire and rearranged the cushions so they could recline in its warmth. Going to the kitchen, she returned with a bottle of red wine and two glasses and placed them by the cushions. Crawling over to the tree, she fished out the gift she wanted Patrick to open tonight. They had agreed they would exchange one gift on Christmas Eve and the rest the next day. She sighed as she leaned back against the cushions, slipping slowly on her wine. Their party had been a huge success. The house felt warm and alive as their friends and family fell into an easy patter with each other. It was the domesticity that she had always craved. There had been no less than seven children running around the house, delighting in the snow and in Kristina's case, eating so many candy canes she threw up. An embarrassed Alexis and Ric promptly cleaned her up and headed home as the sugar high wore off. Robin enjoyed watching Patrick and Noah chatting. There was no more tension between them. All had been forgiven and a new, stronger relationship had evolved in place of the old one. She had spent some quiet time with her Uncle Mac - her first real opportunity to do so since returning from Australia. The only people missing were her parents. Upon their return to Port Charles after the wedding, both had been called on assignment. Robin had been disappointed having become accustomed to their constant presence but they were hunters and they were unable to stay away from the thrill of the chase for very long. She closed her eyes and listened to the silence. It had been a difficult road for her and Patrick but they were now reaping the rewards and she was enjoying every minute of it.

She smiled as she felt Patrick slid in behind her and wrap his arms around her. "Our boy is fast asleep dreaming of race cars."

She let out a small giggle. "Patrick, our son is six months old, he doesn't know what a race car is."

"Sure he does" he said confidently. "I've told him all about them and he is a very, very smart boy."

"And it's your objectivity that allowed you to arrive at this conclusion?"

"I call 'em as I see 'em" he said, pouring himself a glass of wine. "Did you have fun tonight?"

She nodded. "How about you?"

"It was great. Can you believe all the kids that were here?"

"I know" she smiled, nestling further back against him as he kissed her neck. "This is quite a change from where we were last Christmas"

Patrick grinned against her skin. "Not that different, I was hitting on you then, I'm hitting on you now."

Reaching up behind her, she stroked the back of his head. "We couldn't stand each other back then."

"Not true" he said sitting up. "I liked you from the moment I met you. I thought you were pushy, overbearing and strident but I liked you."

"Oh stop sweet talking me" she teased.

He trailed his fingers down her arms. "I love you more every day - I never knew that was possible."

"I'm a lucky woman" she said. "Gifts?"

Patrick grinned at the tone in her voice. Christmas was her favourite holiday and she enjoyed shopping for presents so much that he was worried they were going to need a second mortgage to cover it all. "What makes you think I got you a gift?"

"You got me a gift."

"You're pretty sure of yourself there Scorpio."

"It's Scorpio-Drake thank you very much and yes, I am VERY sure of myself."

"Fine - who goes first?"

"Me!"

"Giving or getting?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"Giving!! It's the best part."

Reaching beside the cushions, she pulled out the square box wrapped in gold paper and handed it to him. He moved from behind her so that he could sit in front of her. Half reclining against the fireplace ledge, he slowly pulled the ribbon off the box. He watched as Robin's eyes danced with anticipation and she bordered on giddy. Rubbing her hands together she watched every movement he made as he opened the box. Taking the lid off, he pulled out the frame that was closed in half. Opening up the frame he saw that it held a picture on each side. His mouth dropped open and his cheeks began to redden.

Watching his reaction, Robin's face fell. "You don't like it - I'm sorry - I thought you would like it."

He shook his head, trying to find his voice. "I like it fine" he managed to croak out before tears began to tumble down his face.

"Oh baby" she said, crawling over to him "I didn't mean to make you cry"

"It's beautiful Robin" he said, wiping at his tears. "I haven't seen this photo in a long time" he said, tracing the outline. On the left side of the frame was a photo of Noah and Mattie from a party years ago. Noah was sitting in a dark leather chair and Mattie was sitting on his lap, her arm draped around his shoulder. She was laughing and Noah was staring at her, smiling. In the right side of the frame was a photo of Robin and Patrick from the wedding in Australia. They were dancing and gazing deeply into each other's eyes. Both were candid shots that captured the couples perfectly.

Robin touched his arm. "I've never seen you display a photo of your mom and I just thought that you might like this one. Your dad helped me with this."

He continued to stare at the photograph, overcome by emotions. Finally placing it down on the floor, he reached for her, pulling her towards him. Cupping her face, he kissed her, slowly letting go of her lips. "It is the most beautiful gift" he said hoarsely. "I absolutely love it."

She exhaled. "Good" she said before kissing him again.

"I suppose you'd like your gift now?"

"Well" she started innocently "if you have one for me?"

"It just so happens that I do." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small box wrapped in red paper. He passed it to her and watched with amusement as she carefully removed the paper. Prying open the box, her eyes widened. She pulled out the gold locket and gazed at it admiringly. Opening the locket, her eyes sparkled as she saw the tiny photo of Rian tucked inside.

"Patrick" she whispered. "It's beautiful"

"Can I put it on you?" Robin handed it to him and spun around, lifting up her hair so that he could close the clasp. Turning back around, she fingered it.

"I love it - it's so wonderful." Kneeling up, she kissed him gently on the lips, keeping her lips pressed to his long after she let them go.

Patrick patted his lap and Robin scooted over to him, sitting squarely in it. Leaning her head against his shoulder, she sighed as he stroked her hair. "I have a question for you" he said quietly.

"What's that?" Robin ran her hand over his chest. She never tired of touching him, of feeling him against her. He licked his lips nervously. It had taken him the better part of a month to work up the courage to ask her the question but now that it was here it felt like his nerve was failing him. "Patrick?" she asked.

"How would you...I mean we can talk about timing...but how would you feel about having another baby?" He clenched his eyes as soon as the words left his mouth, unsure of the reception his question would get.

Robin lifted her head from his shoulder. "Really?" she asked searching his eyes. "You want to have another baby?"

He ran his thumb along her chin. "Do you?"

"I, uh...I didn't think you really wanted children - I mean Rian was an accident but to plan a child? Do you really want another?"

He inhaled slowly. "I thought I never wanted children Robin because I never imagined settling down. But I have you and Rian and life feels so complete and I love you so much that I can't think of anything I'd rather do than have another child with you."

"You understand that we'd have to do ai? Because I would never, ever allow you to be exposed a second time" she said firmly.

"I've done some reading. I know you want to go back to work and I know Rian is still young and I'm not trying to force anything but can we consider it?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Patrick" she smiled, her eyes filling with tears. "I would love to have another baby with you. We need to talk to Dr. Maida and Kelly and we need to do some planning around it but yes - let's plan for another baby some time in the new year."

"Really?" he said in surprise. Patrick had been confident that she would shoot him down or want to put him off for at least a year but her reaction was more than he could have hoped for.

"Really" she said kissing him deeply. Running his hands along her back, he pulled her closer to him.

"I love you"

"What's not to love? I'm pretty terrific!" she teased.

Patrick laughed and bit her lip. "Smartass."

Robin smiled. Looking past him, she turned back to him, eyes shining. "Guess what?"

"What?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"It's past midnight. It's officially Christmas Day and officially our first Christmas together!"

He crashed his mouth down on hers, smiling as Robin's lips parted immediately, waiting for him to plunge his tongue inside her mouth. He didn't keep her waiting. She sucked greedily on his tongue while pressing her body into his. She heard him moan into his mouth and arched further against him as he moved away from her lips, leaving tiny butterfly kisses on her cheeks and under her eyes before moving to her neck. Her body shivered as his warmth breath enveloped her skin.

"Merry Christmas, wife" he said huskily.

"Merry Christmas, husband."

xxxxx

"Merry Christmas" Nik said quietly, setting down a cup on the bedside table.

Nathalie sat up slowly and smiled lazily as she reached for the cup. "Merry Christmas yourself" she said, taking a long sip from the steaming cup.

"How is it this morning?" he asked, crawling back into bed beside her.

She gave him a wry smile. "Same as always" she said before taking another sip of tea. As the trial date for the custody case got closer, Nathalie's stress level began to rise significantly. Looking at her, it was almost impossible to tell that she was bothered by anything as she constantly gave off an air of control and serenity. Only Nikolas knew that not to be true. Her nausea would be so strong when she would wake up in the morning that it was nearly impossible for her to get out of bed without at least one cup of mint tea. When it had first hit, he had insisted that she go to the doctor. Several tests later including a pregnancy test, the doctor admitted that it was stress and Nathalie should do what she could to eliminate it from her life. She had smiled and thanked the doctor for his advice. It had been Alfred, reliable Alfred who missed nothing at Wyndermere, who quietly suggested to Nikolas that a steaming cup of mint tea might help Miss Nathalie in the morning.

Lying propped up on one elbow with his other hand soothingly rubbing her stomach he watched her. Her dark circles were becoming slightly more pronounced and fine lines were appearing around her eyes. "Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked.

"Sure" she said, sipping from the cup.

"Liar" he said softly.

"I slept some - really."

"I wish I could do something to take this away from you" he said for the millionth time.

Putting the cup down, Nathalie turned on her side and propped herself on her elbow facing him. She let her hand rest on his hip. "You do - every day" she reassured him.

"Can I interest you in a gift?" he said, reaching under his pillow.

Nathalie grinned. "Yes please."

He passed the small velvet box to her with a silver bow on top. "It's not a ring" he said quickly.

Nathalie pressed her lips against hers. "You're cute when you're nervous."

"I thought we established that I'm cute all the time."

She rolled her eyes. "How silly of me to forget." She opened the box and gasped. "Nik - you can't give this to me - it's too much" she said.

"Do you like them?" he asked, massaging her hip bone.

"They're emerald earrings Nikolas, I love them."

"Then I can give it to you - besides they match your eyes - you have to wear them."

She shook her head. "Your logic is too much for me to argue against at this early hour." She kissed him softly. "Thank you."

Smiling, he ran his thumb under her eye. "You deserve beautiful things."

Her cheeks flushed at the compliment. "Are you ready for a gift?"

"I thought we agreed to no gifts?" he asked.

"We did and as you followed that rule so well, I had to break it too" she teased.

"How did you know I was going to break the rule. "Because I'm a genius" she smiled as she gave him a small leather bag.

Nikolas looked at her quizzically before untying it and shaking out its contents. The watch fell heavily into his hands. Picking it up, he looked at it admiringly. It was a Tag Heuer watch with a square face and black leather band. "It's wonderful" he said. "I love it."

"I had it engraved" she said shyly.

Turning the watch over, his breath hitched as he read the engraving.

_N -_

You make time stand still

Love, N

He inhaled deeply and immediately put it around his wrist. He moved closer to her, allowing his hand to travel over her hip and onto her behind. He stroked it, sending shivers through her body. He kissed her so lightly, their lips barely touched. Nathalie thought she might just pass out from the heat between them. His hand became more insistent as he massaged the round globes of her ass.

"Nik" she said huskily, trying to think coherently as he assaulted her neck.

"What?" he asked, tracing minute circles on her skin.

"It's 6 in the morning."

"Which means we have tons of time" he said

"It's 6 in the morning on Christmas Day and we have three kids who are expecting Santa to have left them something."

"You don't actually think they're..."

"Mommy!!" Grace called from the hall. "Can we go see if Santa came?"

"Just a minute baby" she called back.

Nikolas pressed his forehead against hers. "I reserve the right to pick this up later."

"Absolutely. Can you take them downstairs and I'll be there in a minute?"

He bussed her lips. "Take your time, finish your tea and come down when you're ready." She smiled appreciatively. Nikolas pulled a t-shirt over his sweatpants and headed to the door. "Hey Nat?" he asked.

She looked up. "Yeah?"

"This is already the best Christmas I've ever had."

"I love you Nik."

He grinned and headed out the door. Her heart sank as he left the room. The nausea came back. She knew that the lawsuit could cost her children, she just hoped there would be no collateral damage in the process. Reaching to the bedside table, she picked up the phone and dialed the now familiar number. "Merry Christmas Alexis, I took the chance that you'd be up too...I've done some thinking about what you asked last night and it's possible there are a few things in my past my parents will use against me. Can we meet tomorrow to discuss?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Don't you just hate line-ups?" came the voice from behind her.

Lulu turned around and was temporarily speechless as she looked at him. Well over six feet tall, his black hair was styled in a faux hawk. His light blue eyes seemed to bore right through her. She swallowed and smiled shyly. "Sorry?"

"Don't you hate line-ups? I do. Every year I swear I'm not going to do late registration but here I am in the never ending line" he grinned.

"This is...this is my first late registration."

"Ah. I swear the experience will make you want to swear off of it. What are you registering for?"

"Huh?" Lulu asked, completely distracted by the expanse of his shoulders and fighting the urge to run her hands over them.

Reaching over, he gently removed her form from her hands. "So..." he scanned it. "Lesley Lu Spencer - Concurrent Education? That's an interesting choice."

She nervously wrapped her hair around her finger. "Well, I...I want to work with kids."

"That's great" he said brightly. "It's great that you know what you want to do."

"Do you know what you want to do...er...I don't know your name."

He smiled broadly. "Ethan - Ethan Young. And I'm not sure what I want to do . I was in Political Science but it's so boring and I'm not sure what I'll do with it, so I'm going to try my hand at International Business."

"Do you like business?" she asked.

"I guess we'll find out." He looked down at her registration form. "There is one thing missing from your form" he said handing it back to her.

She took it, scanning for any unmarked box. She had heard the nightmare stories about arriving at the Registrar's counter only to be sent to the back of the line if the form was incomplete. "What? I don't see it - what's missing?"

Ethan smiled at the slight panic in her voice. He was completely taken by her golden hair and her wise blue eyes. "Your phone number - how I am supposed to know how to reach you if I can't scam your phone number from the form?"

Lulu giggled. "Did you spend a lot of time working on that line?"

"Does it show? My mom always said if I practiced hard enough it would pay off" he grinned.

Lulu smiled back at him. "I'm sorry Ethan Young but I don't go around giving my phone numbers out to strangers."

"Oh" his face fell slightly.

"But I could give you my email address" she offered. His face lit up. Handing her a pen, he stuck out his arm. "You want me to write it on your arm?"

"If you write it on paper I could lose it. If I lose my arm, I have bigger issues than not having your email address."

"Okay." She was keenly aware of how closely he was standing to her as she wrote on his arm. She tried not to be too distracted by the light woodsy smell of his cologne. Finished, she handed the pen back to him.

He looked at the address and then looked up at her. "Lulu? Who is this Lulu person?"

"It's what my friends call me."

"Do I get to call you Lulu?"

"I guess you'll have to wait and see." She winked at him before turning back to the line. College was looking to be more interesting by the minute.

xxxxxx

Noah draped his arm along the back of the couch, lightly twisting Brenda's hair through his fingers. With her legs tucked underneath her, she snuggled in closer to him, her hand linked with his. He let out an exaggerated sigh.

"What?" she giggled.

"Why is there a polar bear? They're in the tropics? There is no way a polar bear could survive there, they are genetically built to..." Brenda cut him off with a kiss. She had been horrified to discover he didn't know what Lost was, let alone seen an episode. The next time she came to his apartment she brought seasons one and two on dvd with her and they were now working their way through the discs.

"Stop trying to be logical about it" she said against his lips.

"If I keep being logical does that mean you'll kiss me again?"

"Maybe" she grinned.

He pushed her bangs from her face. "You are a stunningly beautiful woman, you know that, right?" He nipped at her lips.

"I like hearing you say it."

He ran his knuckles down the side of her face. "So, um...we never seem to get around to talking about what's going on with us."

Brenda looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean? I ask you about work all the time and I always tell you about my shopping trips."

Noah grinned. "That's not what I mean and you know it."

She smiled shyly. "I know what you meant" she said quietly. "I'm your bit on the side - we're having sex - lots of it - lots of really great sex"

"Is that what you want Brenda? Because you're an incredibly special person with so much to offer. You shouldn't ever be anyone's bit on the side and you're certainly not mine."

"I've been the trophy girlfriend Noah, I'm not interested."

"Is that how you think I see you, as a trophy?" he tried to keep the hurt from his voice.

She touched his lips with her fingers. "No. I know you don't. But Noah, you're not the only one who is terrified of relationships. I'm afraid if we define this or try to make it into something, we'll ruin it. I kind of like it as it is."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" she said softly.

"Brenda, I don't want you to think that there's any reason why I wouldn't tell the world that we've been spending time together. You're beautiful and smart and you make me feel more alive than I have been in years."

"Noah" she pressed her lips into his. Pulling back, she gazed into his soulful eyes that certainly seemed less sad in the last few months. "I have made a series of monumentally bad choices when it comes to men and it's a daily struggle to remember my value or worth. You make me feel less crazy and I just don't want to open that up to people's opinions - not yet anyways."

"Okay" he nodded.

"Ready for the next episode?" she asked.

"Not just yet" he said, laying back on the couch and pulling her on top of him. "I think we need to explore more of this really great sex you were talking about"

Brenda giggled as his thumbs grazed her nipples. "Whatever you say, Original Hottie."

Patrick paced outside the room, reviewing the chart. He always found pediatric cases the hardest from an emotional stand point. Whereas he could be distant with his adult patients, it was nearly impossible to do so with children. They wanted more than information; they wanted someone to play with. Playing with kids led to caring about them and caring about them meant it was devastating if they didn't pull through. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door. "Hi Ellie" he said.

"Hi Dr. Patrick" she said brightly.

Patrick flipped a few pages on her chart. Ellie Matthews was a bright 10 year old girl who had presented with severe headaches. An MRI revealed a fast growing brain tumor and two rounds of chemotherapy had done little to shrink it. Surgery was now the only option. "Are you excited for New Year's Eve?" he asked sitting on the bed. "I hear they're going to have a movie and cake in the game room tonight."

"Will there be champagne?" she asked teasingly. Her hair had completely fallen out during the course of chemotherapy which only served to make her brown eyes seem bigger. Despite how sick she was, her eyes shone and Patrick found that hard to take.

"No kiddo - no champagne. I'm operating on you in two days - we can't have you hungover."

"Dr. Patrick!" she groaned. "'As IF I would be hungover. Will you be hungover?"

He smiled. "On my honour Ellie, I promise I will not be hungover doing your surgery. How are you feeling?"

"Okay" she shrugged.

"How about the seizures?"

"I've only had two today and they were pretty small ones, so it's all good."

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure? I'll be back to see you before the surgery but if you have any questions now, I could answer them."

"Nah - you're going to cut into my head and take out the nasty tumor, right?"

Patrick grinned at her. There was no beating around the bush with her. "That's the plan, stan."

"My name is not Stan"

"Bob?"

"No" she giggled.

"Matilda?"

"Dr. Patrick, you know my name!"

"That's right Sally - how silly of me to forget."

"It's not Sally - It's ELLIE!"

"Right! Ellie - that's what I said!"

"You're weird" she said.

"You'd be surprised at how often I get that." He got up from her bed. "Okay - rest up, have fun tonight and we'll see you in a couple of days."

"Okay." Patrick walked to the door. "Dr. Patrick?"

"Yes Ellie?"

"It's going to be a happy new year, isn't it?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"That's the plan sweetheart." Walking out the door, he leaned against the wall and blew out his cheeks. He didn't see nurse Epiphany Johnson until she was beside him.

"Just in with the Matthews kid?" He nodded. "Peds cases get harder when you have kids of your own."

"She's a great little girl."

"And she's got a great doctor - keep your eye on the prize Dr. Drake, everything will be fine."

He smiled gratefully. The straight shooting nurse was not normally one to offer comfort which made it all the more meaningful when she did. "Thanks Epiphany."

"Uh-huh" she smiled as she walked away.

xxxxx

Nikolas slid his arms around Nathalie's waist and dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder. "Are you sure I can't convince you to cancel this dinner party and spend the night in bed with me?"

Smiling, she turned around in his arms. Nikolas lowered his head and pressed his lips to the bare flesh at the lowest point of dress. "You make a good argument Mr. Cassadine, but it's New Year's Eve and I've invited our friends to celebrate with us. But we can spend a lot of time in bed later" she promised. Nathalie had been very excited to host a dinner party in her new house for her friends. Though she wouldn't say it out loud, Nathalie was relieved to see the end of the year.

"You look gorgeous" he said, taking in her deep green jersey knit dress. The halter top tied at the base of her neck leaving almost her entire back open and he wasn't sure he had ever seen a more seductive sight. He smiled as he saw the emerald studs in her ears. He couldn't remember a time when he had been happier.

She ran her hands over his shoulders. "You don't look so bad yourself. Though, I think you should make a new year's resolution to wear just a little less black."

"You don't like the all black look?" he said, motioning to his cashmere black turtleneck and black pants.

"Oh I love the all black look" she nipped at his bottom lip. "But you shouldn't be afraid of colour."

"Who says I'm afraid of colour? For example, I like the way that green dress makes your skin glow" he said, moving his mouth to her neck.

"Oh would you two get a room!" Lulu exclaimed.

Nathalie pulled away but Nikolas kept hold of her waist. "You gave her a key?" he asked.

"Yes - why not?"

"I don't have a key" he grumbled good naturedly.

"Yes but Lulu and I are further advanced in our relationship"

He shook his head. "I'm not even sure how to take that. I'll go open the champagne." He kissed her cheek and headed into the kitchen.

"Hey Lu - you look amazing." Nathalie said.

Lulu pulled at her top. "You think so?" Lulu was wearing a short black skirt along with a strapless red top that draped around her beautifully.

"I do" she said kissing her cheek. "This is going to be your year you know - I can feel it."

"Hope so. I got my courses changed at the college so a week from today I start on the new path."

Nathalie wrapped her arms around her. "I am so proud of you!"

"Knock knock!" Patrick said coming through the door with Robin. "Wow - three beautiful women all for me" he exclaimed.

"I can hear you Drake - stay away from my girlfriend" Nikolas called from the kitchen.

"You snooze you lose, Prince"

Nathalie slapped him on the chest. "Play nicely P" she said, kissing him hello. She hugged Robin. "You are stunning" she said.

"Isn't she?" Patrick said proudly. Robin's pale pink pleated silk dress set off her dark hair and golden skin.

"Where's Rian?" Lulu asked, hugging Robin.

"Uncle Mac wanted to take him. Actually I think Maxie and Georgie wanted to take him and roped Mac into it" Robin said.

Nathalie led everyone into the living room as Nikolas came out with a tray of champagne. "Is everyone here?" he asked.

"We're just waiting on Brenda and Noah" Nathalie said, sitting on the arm of Nikolas' chair. He rested his hand on her hip. Robin watched as Patrick measured the dynamic between Nathalie and Nikolas. Despite the fact that they had been dating for months Patrick remained very protective of Nathalie. He was ready to pounce the minute the minute Nikolas hurt her but there were simply no signs of that. Robin slid her hand into his and gave it a small squeeze. His fierce loyalty for those he loved was one of his most attractive traits.

Nathalie slid from the chair as the bell rang. Opening the door, she was surprised to see Brenda and Noah together. "Hi guys" she said brightly, standing out of the way to let them in.

"Look who I found as I pulled into the drive" Noah said, nodding to Brenda. "Aren't I a lucky man?"

"I'll say" Nathalie said, her eyes narrowing. "Hey Bren - how are you?"

"Freezing - tell me again why I don't drive?"

"You didn't walk did you?"

"I somehow thought it was closer than it was. I walk everywhere in Rome."

"Yes but it's a lot warmer in Rome" Nathalie laughed.

"Details, details" she said as Noah helped her off with her coat. Nathalie hung both their coats up and led them into the family room. As they greeted everyone and got settled, Nathalie got Robin's eye and motioned quickly to the kitchen. Robin winked and nodded and followed her out.

"They came together, didn't they?" Robin asked giddily.

Nathalie nodded, grinning. "They tried to act like they didn't but they so did. And they were trying not to make eye contact but you know..."

"They were trying to hard?"

"Exactly!" Nathalie clapped her hands. "I know it's weird that your best friend seems to be dating your father-in-law but I'm kind of happy for Noah."

"Me too" Robin giggled. "It's all kinds of weird but fun at the same time."

"Have you asked Brenda anything about it?"  
"I tried the other day when she came over but she dismissed me. I am SO going to nail her on this."

"How do you think Patrick will react if he finds out?"

"How do you think he'll react?" Robin asked.

"His head will explode?"

"Pretty much!" Robin rubbed her hands together. "Tee hee! So much fun to be had, so little time." The doorbell rang again and Nathalie turned her head in direction of it.

"I'll get it Nat" Patrick called out as he headed to the door. Opening the door he was shocked as Grace jumped on him.

"Patty!!" she said, grabbing hold of his leg.

"Hi baby" he said. Looking up he saw Nathalie's father standing on the porch with Oliver in his arms. "Ambassador - this is a surprise. I didn't think the kids were coming back until Wednesday." He stepped out of the way with Grace still attached to his leg to let him in.

"Grace was rather desperate to get home" he said stepping inside and setting Oliver down on the ground.

"Gracie?" Patrick asked looking down at the young girl. He picked her up and searched her face. "Gracie-lou? What's going on pumpkin?"

She pulled at her bottom lip. "Did Daddy kill himself?" she asked.

Patrick's chest constricted and he felt the bile rise in his throat. "What did you say?'

"Did Daddy kill himself?" she asked more insistently.

Nathalie appeared in the doorway, her mouth hanging open. She glared at her father in disbelief. "What the hell did you do?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"What the hell did you do?" she repeated, moving towards her father.

He shifted somewhat uncomfortably. "If you had only told us about Andrew, we could have helped" he admonished.

Patrick glared at John. "Come on munchkin - Lulu, Brenda and Robin are here - let's go say hi" he said carrying her inside. He touched Nathalie's arm briefly and was not surprised to find it tensed. Oliver ran ahead coming to a dead stop when he saw everyone in the living room. He started to bounce up and down and stuck his fingers in his mouth. Patrick caught Nikolas' eye. "I think Nat might need you" he said quietly. Nikolas nodded and got up from the chair. It did not go unnoticed by anyone in the room how tightly Grace was holding on to Patrick.

"Tell you?" Nathalie spat, trying desperately to stay in control. "Why on earth would I tell you? How do you even know?"

"That's not important" he waved his hand. "What's important is that you have sat on this information and allowed for insurance payouts etc under false pretenses - how could you?"

Nathalie's blood pounded in her head. She didn't hear Nikolas come behind her. "How could I? HOW COULD I?" she bellowed. "How could you let a little girl find out that information? Do you have ANY idea what you have fucking done?" she seethed.

"Language Nathalie - there is no need to curse. We didn't tell her, she overheard us speaking. It's not our fault. It's your fault for not having said anything sooner. But I guess you were too busy whoring around as usual to take care of your responsibilities."

Blind with rage, Nathalie lunged for her father. Nikolas grabbed hold of her, pulling her back. "I am HER MOTHER and I decide - me alone - I decide what she knows and doesn't know!"

"See this" he said, pointing to her near foaming at the mouth "this is why you shouldn't have the kids. You are clearly unstable and you will damage those children."

"Get out" she hissed. "Get the fuck out of my life."

Her father shrugged and left, pulling the door closed behind him. Nathalie's breath came in short spurts as she continued to stare after the door. Nikolas held his arm firmly around her waist, pulling her to him. "Nat" he said quietly. She didn't respond, still too stunned to speak. It had been a conscious decision on her part not to tell her children that their father had committed suicide. Oliver was too young to understand and for Grace it was a loss of innocence that Nathalie wanted no part of. "Nathalie" Nikolas repeated, slowly turning her in his arms.

Her mouth was open and her eyes darted wildly around the vestibule. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. She finally looked at Nikolas. "I can't..." she was unable to finish her sentence.

Nikolas held her tightly trying to soothe her. His own blood was boiling in a slow fury. As a Cassadine, he had a well developed dark side that he worked hard to supress but seeing John Harder blow his daughter's life to bit awakened the darkness in him. He was suddenly filled with the urge to hurt him in any way he could. "It's okay Nat" he tried to reassure her.

Pulling out of his embrace, Nathalie smoothed her dress. "It's actually not going to be okay Nik." She walked into the living room and saw Grace cradled in Patrick's arms while Lulu played with Oliver. There was an eerie silence hanging over the room.

"Gracie" Nathalie said, trying to soften her voice and eliminate the rage. "Come with me baby, we need to have a little chat"

"No" she said.

"Pardon me?" Nathalie said in surprise.

"You made daddy kill himself and I can't go with you."

Seeing Nathalie's knees buckle, Robin jumped from her chair and helped her to the couch. Noah's chair was empty as he moved quickly to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. Nathalie moved to stand up but Robin kept a firm hold of her arm. "You can do whatever you need to sitting down Nat. Just breathe, okay?"

Patrick looked at Grace. "Gracie, why would say such a thing to your mom? You know that your mom loved your dad very, very much."

"No she didn't" she said firmly.

"Grace Louise Walker, that's enough!" Nathalie fumed.

Nikolas sat on the other side of her and rubbed her back. "Nat" he started quietly. "You can't fight with a four year old. She doesn't know what she's saying - she's just repeating whatever she may have heard."

"Gracie" Patrick said, running his hand over her hair. "Your mom is not responsible for what your dad did. She's been really, really sad about it and when you say things like that, it hurts her feelings."

Tears started to flow down her face. "I don't care!!" she yelled. "She let him die - she could have saved him if she wanted to!" Noah winced as he watched Nathalie's expression. Every word, even out of the mouth of a child, sliced at her.

"Grace - we can talk about this later" Nathalie said, her voice as steady as she could make it. She was mortified that this conversation was happening in front of her friends. Where others would have viewed it as an opportunity for support, Nathalie felt as though she was being made to stand naked in front of them all. "Come - let's get you into bed, it's way past your bed time."

"I don't way to stay here with you. I HATE you!! I want to stay with Patty." The little girl's face was a mess of red rage and tears.

"Grace Louise, I will not tell you another time. I am your mother and you will do as I say. You will stay here, in your home."

"No!!" She slid from Patrick's lap and stamped her feet. "You KILLED Daddy - you didn't love him enough - you could have saved him if you loved him but you didn't love him."

The room went suddenly still and something broke inside of Nathalie. "NO!" she yelled. "He didn't love me enough - he.didn't.love.me" Closing his eyes, Nikolas could hear her breath coming quickly and he wanted to push a pause button and stop what was coming next.

"I HATE YOU" Gracie screamed at her. "You took my daddy from me and I wish you were dead!!" She stamped her feet. As a tiny girl, her anger seeped from her in anyway it could. She threw herself on Patrick's lap, sobbing. "Please take me with you. I hate her. Please take me with you" she begged

Shaking off Nikolas' arm, Nathalie stood up and walked from the living room. Nikolas stood to go after her but Noah quietly called to him. "Leave her for a minute or two Nikolas" he suggested. "Let her breathe." Nikolas stared helplessly after her.

Patrick tried to soothe a hysterical Grace. "Gracie-lou, you need to apologize to your mom..."

"No!" she sobbed. "I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! She killed my daddy."

"Grace" he said as gently as he could, "she did not kill your daddy."

"I don't want to stay here. Please take me with you. PLEASE!" she begged bordering on hyperventilation.

Getting up from her chair, Lulu handed Oliver to Robin. Kneeling down in front of Patrick she touched Grace's leg. "Gracie, sweetums, would you like to come home and have a sleepover with me at Wyndermere?"

"Lu.." Nikolas started.

Lulu spun around. "Do you have a better idea? Someone needs to take care of Grace, I can do that. Someone will need to take care of Nathalie - you can do that." He nodded. She turned back to Grace. "What do you say? We can ask Alfred to break out the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies"

Grace looked at her suspiciously. "Can I sleep in your bed?" she asked in a small voice.

Lulu reached up and stroked her hair. "Yes baby, you can sleep in my bed." Grace looked at Patrick before scrambling down from his lap and taking Lulu's hand. "I'll take Oliver with me as well. I have a car seat in my car."

"Will you be my mom?" Grace asked.

Lulu shook her head. "No Gracie. When we have our cookies and are all tucked up in bed I'm going to tell you all the reasons why you are lucky to have the mom you do." She got both kids dressed in their coats and picking up the suitcase John had left in the hall, headed out to her car.

"I should go check on Nathalie" Nikolas said.

"Let me" Patrick asked. "Drew factor" he added by way of explanation. Nikolas nodded and watched Patrick walk to the back of the house.

Picking up a throw blanket from the couch, he walked out to the back closed in porch where Nathalie stood, arms crossed, staring out the window. He put it around her shoulders. "You're freezing." She didn't respond. "He did love you, you know."

Nathalie spun to face him. "Don't" she said firmly. "Don't you dare take his side and tell me how much he loved me. No one who claims to love another person would do what he has done to this family."

"You know why..."

She raised her hands. There was no room left in her heart for excuses. "I am tired of it Patrick. He quit, he gave up and I am now the bad guy and I won't have it."

Patrick jammed his hands into his pockets. "Lulu has taken Grace and Oliver back to Wyndermere."

"That's probably for the best" she said flatly, sinking into one of the porch chairs. "I'm going to lose them."

"Don't talk like that Nathalie, you don't know that."

"I'm a lawyer P. And I know my parents. If they were so careless to talk openly about Andrew's suicide in front of Grace do you think they'll even blink an eye about throwing my past in my face in open court."

"Nat, it's hardly a past. I've slept with more people than you have - you are a sexually confident woman who was free to date as you wished until you met and fell in love with Drew." He remembered the day that Drew had told him about her past. He told him of how she tried to break up with him before she finally explained about her life before she met him. Drew had been neither shocked nor horrified. A player himself, he was in no position to judge anyone else's behaviour.

She gave a bitter laugh. "You're deluded. There is a double standard for women and the fact that I've taken up with a man less than a year after my husband's death only feeds the stereotype. And let's not forget me being caught at Heathrow with cocaine."

"You were 15, it was less than a gram - there is no way that is even going to relevant."

"Mark my words" she said, staring straight into the darkness, "it's going to be more than relevant. My parents are going to make it sound like I am the original wild child."

He put his arm around her. There was nothing he could say to her as she was nearly unreachable in her grief and rage. "I'm going to suggest that we all head home. I'm sure Nik will be out to see you in a bit."

"Tell him to go home" she said flatly.

"No." The sharpness in Patrick's voice made her look up. "That man loves you and you love him. You are in a world of pain right now and you are going to let him help you. Don't blow up your life that you've worked so hard to have - that will only be playing into your parents' hands." He kissed the top of her head. "And I know you're doubting just about everything in your life at this moment but don't doubt this. I love you."

Nathalie heard the quiet shuffle of people leaving her house. The night had begun with so much promise and yet had ended with a resounding thud. She wasn't sure it was possible to be as angry with a dead person as she was with her husband. Staring out at the darkness she felt that the codl night reflected the feelings in her heart. She wanted to yell at him, she wanted to scream at him, she wanted him to come back and explain why he had destroyed their life that they had worked so hard to build. She felt Nikolas' presence before he even entered the porch. He leaned against the railing, looking at her.

"Hi."

"Don't look at me like that" she said defensively.

"Like what?" he said softly.

"Like I'm going to fall to pieces. If you're here to wait for me to fall to pieces you're going to be waiting a long time."

Nikolas chewed on his bottom lip. Nathalie was the antithesis of every woman he had ever dated. The women who had come before her had all demanded that he fix things for them, that he rescue them. They had worn their neediness like a badge of honour. She refused to let him fix things and would sooner sew her lips shut than admit she needed him, or anyone for that matter. It only made him want to help her more.

"That's not entirely true, is it?" he said knowingly.

She looked up and glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're already coming apart Nat, just on the inside." He crossed his legs and waited.

"My daughter hates me" she said quietly.

"She doesn't mean it" he offered.

She smirked bitterly. "That's the thing with little kids - they don't know how to say things they don't mean. Their lives exist in absolutes. She means it."

Reaching out to her, Nikolas pulled her up from her chair and wrapped his arms around her. She stood stiffly against him, unable to relax against him. "I know you're used to doing things on your own. I know you've told me how you were the caretaker in your marriage, you kept things running but you don't have to do that here. I'm here. You lean on me and we'll get through this."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "I don't know how to do that" she said quietly.

"Just like this" he said, stroking her back. He pressed his lips against the soft skin between her ear and her jaw. "Just like this."

xxxxxx

Patrick poured himself two fingers of scotch and sank down on the edge of the bed. Feeling as though he had been kicked repeatedly in the stomach, he could only imagine how Nathalie felt. Coming out of the bathroom, Robin tied up her robe and crawled on the bed, sitting behind him. She rested her chin on his shoulder.

"This is my fault" he said, taking a big sip of his drink.

Robin sighed. "I was afraid something like that was going on in your head. Why do you think this is your fault?"

"If I had told Nathalie the minute I got his suicide note..."

Robin started to massage his shoulders. "What would it have changed Patrick? There was no way that Nathalie was ever going to tell her kids, regardless of when you told her."

He shook his head. "Grace is a mess, Nathalie is a mess and exactly how the hell did her parents find out?"

"I don't know" she said. Patrick's head dropped forward and Robin pressed her lips against the open skin. "You can't change what's happened."

"I need to make it better" he said, shivering under her touch.

"You can't make it better baby, you can just be a source of strength for her. Her parents should be shot for what they've done. They've set in motion what I fear stands to be a very painful ride." Robin wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. "I love you Patrick. I love you for wanting to take care of your friend and for wanting to take care of a hurt little girl."

He leaned back against her and sighed. "I know we were going to ring in the new year in a private celebration..." he started.

She nibbled on his ear lobe. "The only way I need to ring in the new year is with you." He smiled and brought her hands to his mouth, kissing them. "Why don't you get changed and under the covers and I'll put a movie on."

Patrick turned around on the bed and cupping her face, seized her lips in a tender but needful kiss. Robin pushed herself closer to him, deepening the kiss as she coaxed her tongue into his mouth. He moaned into her mouth as her body pressed up against him. He continued to kiss her finally letting go of her mouth. He stroked her face, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I love you Robin Scorpio-Drake."

"You are a good man Patrick" she reassured him. "Don't for a minute think otherwise." He pressed his lips against hers before getting off the bed and getting changed.

When he returned to the bedroom, Robin had lit several candles and was sitting up in the bed with the movie ready to go. Slipping out of his boxer-briefs, he slid into bed beside her. Robin patted her torso and taking her up on the invitation, he laid his head against her as she wrapped her arm over his, entwining their fingers. She stroked his hair as the movie played.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine

Patrick let out a small laugh.

"What?" Robin asked curiously.

"If they ever make a movie about us, the line would be - of all the ORs in all the hospitals in all of New York, she barged into mine"

She swatted his head playfully. "You really love that first meeting didn't you"

Looking up at her, he grinned. "Of course I did - it changed my life."

Dipping her head, Robin kissed him gently. "Mine too."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Can it be a big snowman?" Gracie asked, bouncing along towards the park.

"It can be as big as you like" Lulu said, holding tightly to the little girl's hand. "Maybe bigger than you!"

"Yay!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down. Once they reached the park Lulu let go of her hand as she ran and threw herself on the snow to make a snow angel. Lulu smiled as she watched the easy way that Grace played. It had been a tension filled few days since her meltdown on New Year's Eve. Every time the subject of going home to Nathalie was broached, Grace would become hysterical. In an effort to repair some of the damage Nathalie had agreed to move into Wyndermere temporarily. Despite the presence of her mother, the young girl would have nothing to do with her. Instead she would cling to Lulu and sometimes even Nik. Lulu could see how hurt Nathalie was by Grace's rejection and even though Lulu had tried to explain the situation to her several times, the little girl would not be moved.

"Hey munchkin - should we make the base of our snowman?"

"Okay" Grace agreed as she scrambled to her feet. Lulu started a small snowball for her and Grace placed it on the ground and began to roll it. Lulu grinned in amusement as the ball quickly became bigger than her and Grace was unable to move it any further. "Lulu!!" she called. "It's stuck!"

"Maybe not so much stuck as that's just where our snowman should stand?"

Grace pulled at her lip thoughtfully. "Maybe."  
"Should we make his middle?"

"Yes" she replied confidently. Lulu helped her roll the second snow ball and Grace clapped as Lulu lifted it and placed on top of the large base. "He's going to be huge!" Grace exclaimed.  
"I think so."

"That looks like a full scale construction project, do you have all the appropriate permits, Lesley Lu?"

Lulu turned in the direction of the rich baritone and found her ability to speak had deserted her as she stared in to Ethan's pale blue eyes. "H.h...hi" she stammered.

"Ethan" he pointed to himself.

She grinned, her green eyes crinkling. "I remember."

He pretended to wipe his forehead. "Phew! I would hate to think that I was that forgetable. I keep telling myself that just because you haven't replied to any of my e-mails doesn't mean that you've forgotten all about me" he teased.

Grace walked over and looked Ethan up and down. "Who is Lesley Lu?" she asked, pulling on Lulu's leg.

"That's my full name pumpkin - we're still trying to figure out if we should let Ethan call me Lulu."

Grace looked at the young man again. "My name is Grace and I'm four."

Ethan bent down and stuck out his hand. "I'm Ethan and I'm 21."

Grace scrunched up her nose. "You're old."

Letting out a hearty laugh, he ruffled her hat. "I am indeed. It's very nice to meet you Grace."

"Lu, I'm gonna make more angels."

"Okay sweetie - stay where I can see you." Lulu watched her scamper off, fully aware of Ethan standing beside her.

"So is that your daughter?" he asked.

Lulu did a double take. "Uh, no. I don't have any kids. She's my friend's daughter, well actually she's my brother's girlfriend's daughter and she's not having a good time of things lately so I thought she'd be happier if we got out of the house and did something fun so that's why we're here in the park and oh god, please stop me from talking" she covered her face with her hands.

Ethan smiled. "Stop you? Why would I - you're very cute when you ramble."

She rolled her eyes. "What brings you to the park early in the morning?"

"Just on my way to have breakfast with my dad - we try to do that once a week."

"Sounds fun" she said, rubbing her hands together to keep them warm.

"Hands cold?" he asked. He covered one of her hands with both of his and rubbed them together. Lulu could only stare at him. "Better?" he asked letting go.

"Yes" she swallowed thickly.

He looked at his watch quickly and looked back at her. "I'm going to be late if I don't get going."

"Oh, okay" she said, trying to keep the disappointment from her voice.

He couldn't keep from smiling as he watched the way her cheeks reddened from the cold. "Lesley Lu, do you have a boyfriend?" She shook her head slowly. Ethan grinned. "That's the best news I've heard this year! Do you think you might e-mail me?"

She gave him a crooked smile. "Sure."

"Well all right." Lifting his gloved hand, he lowered it quickly as he realized he was about to touch her hair. "I have to run but I hope to hear from you soon Lesley Lu." He waved to her and started to walk away.

"Ethan?" she called after him.  
"Yeah?" he turned around.

"It's Lulu"

Grinning, he winked at her. "Bye Lulu"

She momentarily hugged her arms to her chest before turning back to the snowman. "Let's go Gracie, we have to make his head."

xxxxx

Having poured her coffee, Robin sat up on the counter. Rian was asleep up in his crib, having tired himself out putting rings on a pole. She smiled as she thought of him. He was growing so quickly and developing so well that it was almost impossible to know that he had been born premature.

"Morning" Patrick mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, bussing her lips. Taking Robin's coffee mug from her hands, he took a long drink from it before handing it back to her.

Robin ran her hand through his hair. "Morning" she replied.

Patrick leaned in front of her on the counter, his jeans slung low on his hips. He had neglected to put a t-shirt on and Robin couldn't resist running her fingertips along his shoulders. He pressed back into her hands. "Where's Rian?" he asked sleepily.

"Napping. We had playtime and he conked out about 15 minutes ago." She pressed her lips into his neck. "So what's the case?" she asked.

"What case?" he said, reaching behind him and running his hands along her thighs.

"The case that had you tossing and turning and awake most of the night."

He tilted his head to look at her over his shoulder. "Did I wake you?"

She nipped his shoulder. "Not really. Wanna tell me about it?"

He inhaled deeply and Robin pressed her coffee cup into his hands. "Ellie Matthews - she's 10. Medulloblastoma."

Robin sighed. "Any luck shrinking the tumor pre-op?" Patrick shook his head. "When do you operate?"

"Tomorrow. She's the sweetest girl Robin and her tumor is huge."

"You'll get it."

"I hope so."

"You will." She worked her tongue in a small circle around his ear lobe. Patrick moaned and tipped his head to the side. Robin continued to work her tongue along his neck.

"You're frisky this morning" he said, enjoying the feeling of her lips on his skin.

Reaching her hands around him, she stroked his chest as he leaned further back into her. "I've been thinking about this second baby thing."

"Oh?" His hands still on her thighs, he pulled her closer against his hips.

"Mmm-hmm" she murmured. "I think we need as much practice as possible, so that we don't feel cheated by the artificial insemination."

"I like the way you think" he said, turning around to face her.

Running her palms over his chest, she leaned in and captured his lips in a wet, hot kiss. His lips parted immediately, his tongue plunging into her mouth. Robin sucked on it greedily as she ran the pads of her thumbs over his nipples. He gasped into her mouth as the lightness of her touch sent electricity coursing through his body. Shimmying further off the counter, she ground her hips into his now growing arousal. Pulling on her bottom lip, he arched his body into hers. Moving his mouth to her neck, he hungrily sucked on the soft skin, while she fisted his hair.

Pulling on her cotton pants, he slipped a hand inside and teasingly stroked her engorged folds. He smiled against the hollow of her neck as she moved her hips against his hand. He moved his fingers in slow strokes, dipping them in her slippery entrance but removing them quickly. "Patrick" she hissed. She pulled at the hem of her t-shirt and tore it off, throwing it to the ground. Patrick buried his face between her breasts, breathing in her hedy scent. He lashed one nipple with his tongue while working the other with his thumb and forefinger. Combined with the slow, languid pumping of his hand between her legs, Robin used her own hands to brace herself on the counter. Throwing her head back, she pressed her breast further against his mouth until he heeded her silent request to take it all in his mouth. She mewled at the sensation and Patrick became suddenly aware of how painfully hard his erection was.  
Lifting his head, he ran his tongue along her bottom lip. "My hot wife" he said huskily. Slipping two fingers deep inside her slick channel, he nibbled on her bottom lip as she bucked against his hand.

"Fuck me Patrick" she pleaded. "Please."

He could feel her tightening around his hand and knew that she was close. He ached to be buried deep inside her but wanted her teetering on the brink before he did so. She groaned as he removed his hand. Hooking his fingers around the band of her pants, he slipped them quickly from her hips and let them drop to the floor. Sitting against the still cold marble counter, Robin spread her legs and let her hand drop between them, tugging and rolling her clit with her fingers. Patrick's eyes hooded over as he watched her playing with herself. "God, you are so beautiful" he said reverently.

Robin ground her hips against her hand. "Patrick" she whispered, her other hand now massaging her breast.

"Are you close?" he asked, his own hand gently stroking his throbbing cock through his jeans. She nodded, eyes closed, mouth hanging open. "Show me how you get off" he demanded .

"Inside.me" she panted.

Tugging on her bottom lip with his mouth, he whispered into her mouth. "Come for me Robin" His voice dripped sex. Robin dropped her hand from her breast and slipped two fingers inside her, working her sex. He heard a sharp intake of breath before her entire being shook. "Awww...fuck..." she cried as her climax tore through her.

His own jeans damp, Patrick dropped them to the floor and quickly sheathed himself before thrusting deeply inside her as her body trembled with aftershocks. "Oh Jesus" she cried, biting down on his shoulder. Her second orgasm began almost immediately as Patrick continued to plunge inside her. Her body shook and twitched as she clenched around him. Patrick came hard against her, before dropping his head against her shoulder, panting. He stayed inside her, slowly softening.

She dropped soft, feathery kisses along his neck. "You're better than coffee" she giggled.

"We'll need to do that again" he said, still trying to regain his breath.

"Oh?"

"Practice makes perfect."

xxxxx

**Former Ambassador and wife in court against daughter tomorrow**

_Harder embarrassed by daughter's behaviour, seeks custody of grandchildren_

Bruce snipped the article from the newspaper and glued it into his scrapbook. Leaning back, he drank from his beer bottle. He would make Patrick pay any way he could.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Brenda sat at the bar of the MetroCourt restaurant letting the bubbles from the champagne dance in her mouth. She looked down at her silver dress that hugged her curves and wondered for the hundredth time if it was too much. Noah claimed to be tired of eating in and wanted to take her out on a proper date. She had demurred, preferring the cover his apartment offered but he would not be deterred. She nervously ran her hand through her hair. They had barely spent a night apart since that first night in Australia but they had done nothing public. Noah had offered on several occasions but it had been Brenda who had been unwilling to do so. Though he had never said so, she knew there was a small part of him that was worried that she was embarrassed to be seen with a man so much older than her. He couldn't have been further from the truth. With one exception, Jax, she had dated a series of men who treated her badly and whom she had become too dependant on. Moving to Italy, she reinvented herself. She was never without a date but refused to enter into anything remotely serious. She had accepted she would never be in a significant relationship again - she was too damaged, too fragile and didn't feel she anything to offer. And then she met Noah Drake.

She had flirted with him the way she did with almost any man she met. It was her way of communicating but there was no intent behind it but as she got to Noah better she found she flirted less with him, a sure sign that she was attracted. She had kept a vigil at Robin's bedside following her car accident and then after her brain surgery and Noah had been incredibly kind with her. There was a definite attraction between them, Brenda sensed it early on but she knew, given what Robin had told her about him, that he would never act upon it. Without thinking, she had made a move and now found herself being loved on a nightly basis by a man who was so emotionally gentle with her that she knew it would come to a crashing end. She looked at her diamond watch and sighed. He had called from the hospital to say he would be running late but would be there as soon as he could. She wanted to leave, she felt completely exposed. There was something about being alone in Port Charles that made her feel like prey.  
"Brenda" came the soft voice.

And the vultures were circling.

"Sonny" she smiled.

"All alone?"

She shook her head. "Just waiting for a friend."

Her former lover took in her dress and matching shoes. "Not a friend - you don't dress like that for friends."

She shrugged and took another sip of her champagne. "Meeting Carly for dinner?"

"No. Just dropping some of Michael's things to her." He couldn't resist touching her hair, the silkiness of it was aching familiar. "Dance with me" he demanded quietly.

"I don't think so" she said quietly.

"You like dancing with me" he said softly, moving closer to her. "You miss dancing with me." He took her hand in his and slowly pulled her from her chair. Brenda cursed herself for her inability to resist him. She looked hopefully to the door, wishing Noah would appear. Sonny snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly into him. Holding her hand in his, he pressed his cheek against hers. It was all painfully familiar - the scent, the feel of his body against hers, the way her hand fit in hers. Sonny was her kryptonite and she was powerless in his presence. He nuzzled her ear and when she couldn't move away, he moved his mouth to hers, just hovering above hers. "I miss you Brenda" he whispered, before crashing his mouth over hers. She wanted it to stop but couldn't - he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

"Brenda." She felt Noah's hand on her shoulder.

Ripping away from Sonny, she lowered her head and turned towards him. "No...Noah" she stammered, not making eye contact.

"Brenda - are you okay?"

Shaking free of Sonny's hold, she placed her hand on Noah's chest. "I'm so sorry" she whispered, not looking at him before running out the door.

Noah glared at Sonny. "Have you not damaged her enough?" he hissed. "Or is this just for kicks?"

"Dr. Drake.." Sonny started.

He raised his hands. "I don't actually care - just leave Brenda alone." He turned on his heel and started after Brenda.

Raising his hand, he knocked on her door. When she first arrived in Port Charles, she had been staying in Robin's old apartment but as the lease ran out, she moved into the MetroCourt. "Brenda" he called through the door. Though he heard her moving around inside, there was no answer. "Brenda, I have nowhere else to be tonight so I'm just going to sit outside your door until you let me in."

Several beats later, he heard the chain being pulled from the door. Opening it a crack, Brenda kept her head down. "Go away Noah" she pleaded quietly.

"Can't do that" he said, gently pushing the door open. He walked inside the room and closed the door behind him. Brenda walked to the other side of the room as quickly as she could, her shame emanating from her. Crossing the room, he moved towards her and wrapped his arms around her. She tried to shake him free.

"Don't" she begged. "Don't be kind."

He leaned his face beside hers. "You deserve some kindness Brenda" he said quietly.

"I didn't want to kiss him" she said hoarsely as tears tumbled down her face. "I didn't want to do it" she said.

"I know." He turned her around to face him. He wiped at her tears. "Brenda - I'm an alcoholic - I know a few things about addiction and falling off the wagon." Tilting her chin up so that she had no choice but to look at him, he tenderly pulled at her lips. "It's okay" he whispered. Her body trembled as she pushed herself as closely into him as she could. He kissed the top of her head. "It's okay."

xxxxxx

"Any questions?" Alexis asked, closing the file folder.

"No. We're as ready as we're ever going to be" she replied.

Leaning forward on the couch, Alexis looked at her over her glasses. "Nathalie, I promise you that I'm going to fight like hell in that courtroom - I need you to do the same." It had not gone unnoticed by her attorney that her once fiery client was flat and somewhat listless.

Nathalie looked up in surprise. "I will"

"Nathalie - what your parents did was unconscionable and I can't truly conceive of all that you're going through but I need you to get off the mat. I can't win this without you."

She chewed on her bottom lip and pushed her hair from her face. "I'm doing the best I can Alexis"

The lawyer patted her hand. "I know you are. I'll meet you in the anteroom at 8:30 tomorrow - try and get some sleep."

Nathalie walked her to the door and closed it behind her. Walking to the kitchen, Nathalie sank to the ground and pulled her legs to her chest. She had insisted to everyone that she wanted to be alone the night before the trial. She had spent the day with Oliver and had hugged him closely before leaving. She had hugged Gracie too but the little girl squirmed to break free and Nathalie reluctantly let her go.

She thought of the moment that the nurse placed Grace on her chest. Nathalie's childhood and adolescence had been strict and formal, love was never spoken of and rarely shown. She had been a loving child who was prone to spontaneous displays of affection. Her mother had spanked her and admonished her, stating her behaviour was inappropriate. When her father had been posted to London, she was sent to an English boarding school and it was there that she went in search of affection from anyone who would give it to her. Starting at 14 and continuing well into her 20s, Nathalie led what could be defined as a sexually adventurous life. Meeting Drew changed her life. He gave her more love than she had ever experienced which made his death all the more painful. She had been unsure about having children, terrified she would do to them what her parents had done to her. He had convinced her she could be a good mother and the moment she felt Grace's tiny body squirming on hers, she knew that she would do anything to keep her safe.

The house was eerily quiet without the constant noise of the children but her head was so loud she didn't hear the key turn in the lock and she barely registered the lights in the kitchen being turned on. She jumped as she felt the hand on her leg. "Nikolas" she said, looking up. "I thought we agreed ..."

He cut her off. "We haven't slept in apart in more than three months and I won't be able to sleep if I'm not with you so here I am."

She smiled. "You know, it's not too late to run as far as you can in the other direction."

He sat down opposite her, their knees touching. "Don't want to" he said. "I want to be where you are."

"This is going to get very ugly" she said softly. "There are things I need to tell you about my life before you hear about them in court" her voice was barely above a whisper.

"So you'll tell me. But I don't want to make tonight about the past or the future or the kids - it's just you and me."

Kneeling up, Nathalie moved into Nikolas' lap. She put her arms around his waist and her head on his shoulder. He closed his arms around her, holding her to the heat from his body. "Tell me you love me" she asked in a small voice.

Normally so confident and never one to seek reassurance, her simple request gave him an enormous insight into how much pain she was carrying. It nearly moved him to tears. "I love you" he said. He kissed her forehead. "I love you Nathalie" he repeated. She sighed and held onto him as tightly as she could.

xxxxx

Patrick ran his hands through his hair as he made his way to the family room. Ellie Matthew's surgery had been more complicated than expected. Her tumor was deeper than the imaging had shown and he spent much longer removing it than he had anticipated. He was confident that he got it all and with the right follow up treatment, Ellie stood a very good chance at making a full recovery.

He pushed the door open to room and her parents looked up expectantly. He remembered all the moments he had spent waiting for news on Robin or Rian and it had significantly changed how he dealt with families in a post-op environment. Whereas he used to stand in the doorway and give only the facts, always in a rush to get out as soon as he could, he now would come in and sit down with the family, ensuring they had the time to ask all their questions before he left.

He smiled as he sat down. "Mr. and Mrs. Matthews - Ellie has come through the surgery just fine. The tumor was was more invasive than we had originally thought but I did manage to get it all."

Mrs. Matthews wiped at her tears as she blew out a breath. "Will, will she be okay?"  
Patrick nodded reassuringly. "She'll be sore for a few days but we'll have her up and walking later today and then into physio later in the week. Her oncologist, Dr. Richards will be by later to discuss her chemo treatment but I expect them to start her as soon as the swelling goes down."

Ellie's mother threw her arms around Patrick. "Thank you Dr. Drake - thank you for giving us our daughter back."

He swallowed thickly and patted her shoulder. "My pleasure Mrs. Matthews. Ellie is a special girl." Getting up, he gave the parents one last reassuring smile before heading to his office to complete his charts. Having reviewed all of his notes, he called Robin and was disappointed to get the machine.

"Hey babe" his voice rumbled. "Just checking in to say hi. I'm out of the OR and just finished two hours of charts - tell me why I don't have a team of Keebler elves to do my charts for me? Hope you and Rian are having a good day. I can't wait for you to come back to work - I'm in serious need of some consults. Love you tons, kiss my little man for me."

Hanging up, he looked at his watch and decided to make a post-op visit to Ellie. He opened his bottom drawer and pulled out one of the small beenie babies he had taken to keeping in his office. Slipping it in his pocket he left for her room.

"Hey Miss Thing - look at you lying down on the job" he teased "You think you just had brain surgery or something."

Ellie pried open her eyes and tried to smile. "Dr. Patrick."

He pulled a stool up to her bedside. "I have something for you for being such a champion in there." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the little rainbow coloured bear and held it out to her. "I didn't know what your favourite colour was so I thought I'd hit a homerun with this one." He held it further out to her. "Here, take it."

She looked at him wide-eyed. "Dr. Patrick?"

"Yes" he said making the bear dance.

"I can't feel my arms or my legs."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Patrick shot up from the stool. Taking a pen from his pocket he pulled her blankets back from her feet and ran his pen along her soles. There was no reaction.

"Dr. Patrick?" she asked, panic rising in her voice.

"It's okay Ellie" he said, hoping he sounded calmer than he felt. "Sometimes after an operation it takes a while for everything to come back." He looked over at the nurse. "I need 10 mg of Ativan." He put his hand on the side of her face. "Don't worry Ellie - we're going to give you something that will help you sleep for a while longer. You have a lot swelling in your body which is pressing on all your nerves and things and so until that goes down, it's going to be hard to move around."

She exhaled deeply. "Promise?"

Looking into her trusting brown eyes, he felt an ache in his chest. "You rest for a while longer and I'll be back to check on you."

" Kay" she said sleepily as the nurse returned with the syringe and injected it. Patrick winced as there was no recognition by the young girl that a needle had just pricked her skin.

"Sweet dreams shortstuff, I'll see you in a while." Fighting a losing battle with sleep, she nodded before drifting off.

Patrick stalked out of the room and returned to his office. Opening the door, he whipped the chart across the room. "Dammit!!" he swore. He flopped into his chair and cradled his head in his hands. He took several steadying breaths before getting up from his chair and picking up all the papers from the chart that covered his office floor. He placed them on his desk and sat in front of them. He would review every piece of paper, every film and every line of his operative notes to see if Ellie's paralysis was his fault.

Picking up the phone he called over to radiology and had them send all of Ellie's MRIs and x-rays. Taking her file apart, he divided it into two piles, pre-op and op. Having set himself up he walked to the cafeteria to get the largest cup of coffee he could. It was going to be a long afternoon.

xxxxx

Lulu rushed inside the door at Kelly's. Early January was proving to be particularly bitter and she was grateful that Mike believed in keeping the temperature in the diner nearly tropical during the winter months. She stopped as she saw the familiar figure draped over a chair, his back to her. He was reading a book, his elbow on the table propping up his head. His long, lean figure seemed to take up the entire table. Quietly walking over to the table, she cleared her throat.

"Is this seat taken?"

Ethan looked up in surprise and suddenly scrambled to his feet. "Lesley...Lulu" he said quickly, his cheeks flushing at her surprise appearance.

She grinned. "Hi Ethan."

He was always at risk of being rendered speechless when he looked into her green eyes. "Hi" he said shyly.

"Are you studying?" He nodded. Lulu smiled, grateful not to be the only one who was nervous. "Did you want to take a break? I'm craving coffee and a lemon poppyseed muffin - I could join you if you want."

"I want...I mean, that would be great. Uh, why don't you sit and I'll go get us some coffee."

She shook her head. "I used to work here, I'll just slip behind the counter and grab some food for us."

He nodded wordlessly and sat down. He quickly ran his hands through his hair and pulled on his burgundy sweater. Running his hand over his face, he silently cursed himself for not having taken the time to shave in the morning. Lulu returned carrying two muffins and two cups of coffee. Ethan stood up and relieved her of some of the dishes.

"How are you Lulu?" he asked, more earnestly than he wanted to.

"I'm good. You? How are you finding your business courses."

He smiled. "I think I may have finally found my calling. How are your courses?"

"They're okay. I took the fall semester off and have a lot of catching up to do so I've got a pretty heavy course load."

"Why did you take the fall off?"

Lulu closed her eyes briefly. Though not normally one to be an open book with people, ever since she contracted HIV she found herself dividing her life into two parts, what could be told to anyone and what was only for the few people she trusted. "I had a lot going on and just thought it was better to take some time."

Ethan nodded. "I took a year off between high school and college. I spent it touring around South America. I learned to play polo in Argentina and went to Macchu Piccu in Peru."

She giggled. "You play polo?"

"I do" he said mildly defensively. "I don't play well but I was working on a farm and the owner was a polo player and taught me how."

"Do you still play?" she asked curiously.

"Sometimes in the summer - when I go home."

"Where's home?"

"Manhattan" he said taking a sip of his coffee.

"I thought you were having breakfast with your dad the other day."

He smiled. "So you were paying attention." Lulu rolled her eyes. "He's here on business for a few months and so we've tried to see each other once a week. My mom died about five years ago and it's just been the two of us for a while."

"I'm sorry about your mom" she said quickly as she put the last vestiges of her muffin in her mouth.

Shrugging, he swirled his coffee in his cup. "How about you? Are you from here - and how did Port Charles get so lucky to have someone so beautiful grace the city?" Lulu blushed furiously. "You don't do well with compliments, do you?"

She shook her head. "I'm from here but I've moved around quite a bit. I've had ...it was an untraditional childhood."

"How about your folks?"

Lulu began to twirl her hair around her fingers. She had never been very good at explaining her parents and didn't know how to do it without making it sound ridiculous. "My dad travels a lot and my mom...my mom is sick."

Instinctively Ethan reached out and gently held her fingers with his. "I'm sorry."

She resisted the urge to pull away, thinking how nice it was just to be touched. "Don't be. She's at Shadybrooke - she's been catatonic for years."

"Ah" he said quietly, slowly tracing his fingers over hers. "Do you live on campus?"

She shook her head, completely distracted by the feel of him touching her. "No" she swallowed thickly. "I live with my brother. You?"

"I have an apartment on Reid Street. Just a small one bedroom but it's all mine. You'll have to come over some time" he suggested.

Lulu removed her hand from his. There was no way that she would be able to go to his apartment. Going would mean telling him about having HIV and telling would mean that he would want nothing more to do with her. "I..uh...I should get going. I have class soon."

Ethan noticed the sudden change in her demeanor and was kicking himself for whatever it was that he had done to make it happen. "Lulu" he said carefully as she put her coat on.

"Yeah?" she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

"Would you go on a date with me - like dinner and a movie type of date?"

She held her breath. She was very attracted to him and desperately wanted to go out with him but was afraid to go down that road. "Um...I don't know..."

"I promise I'll shave and behave like a real gentleman. I'll even let you pick the movie" he grinned as he stood up.

"Um..."

"Lulu, I like you - I think you're really interesting and you're beautiful and I'd like to go on a date with you."

Blowing out her cheeks she fingered the claddagh ring Patrick and Robin had given her at their wedding. Taking a leap of faith, she nodded. "Okay - how about Friday?"

Ethan couldn't keep the giddiness from his voice. "Friday is great!" Tearing off a piece of paper from his notebook, he scribbled down his phone number and pressed it into her hands. "Call me later in the week and we can make plans."

"Okay - bye Ethan" She smiled, heading to the door.

"Bye Lulu."

xxxxx

Patrick looked up at the knock on the door.

"Long day?" Robin asked.

He rubbed his face over his hands. "You're a sight for sore eyes - both of you."

She came into the office, pushing Rian in a stroller. "We thought you were coming home for dinner but when you didn't show, Rian insisted we bring dinner to daddy."

Patrick smiled tiredly. "Sorry. I should have called."

"It's okay" Robin said setting down the picnic basket. She had stood in his office doorway for several minutes watching him work. His face seemed haunted and his body sagged from exhaustion. She recognized it as the same posture Patrick would take when a surgery didn't got exactly as planned. He was a perfectionist and prided himself on being able to bend the universe to his will in the OR. It was his domain and results other than the ones he planned for were completely unacceptable.

Patrick got up from his chair and unbuckling Rian from the stroller, picked him up and held him against him. "So little man, meet any cute girls at playgroup today?" he asked.

"We didn't go to playgroup today" Robin said, unpacking the basket.  
"Oh?" He walked over to the couch and sat down, bouncing Rian on his knee.

"It was opening statements in court today so we thought we'd go."

"Aw shit" he said, closing his eyes. "How could I forget?"

Robin sat down beside him. Placing a piece of cheese on a cracker, she held it to his mouth and he accepted it. "You didn't forget, you were working. Tell me about the case."

"How was Nathalie?" he asked with his mouth full.

"She's fine - it was just opening statements. Her parents' lawyer - a Douglas Young - seems really good but I still don't think he's a match for Alexis. Now stop avoiding - the case, spill."

Leaning back against the couch, he placed Rian on his stomach. "Ellie Matthews" he said quietly.

"Did you get the tumor?" She curled her legs underneath her and stroked his hair. Her other hand resting over his on Rian's warm little body.

"I was sure I got it all"

"But?"

"Post-op paralysis." He sighed defeatedly.

Robin stroked his face. "There are lots of reasons Patrick - could be swelling on the brain stem or small pieces of the tumor are still lodged in her brain."

"I know what it could be" he snapped "but it could also be me - I could have nicked something - I could have been admiring my genius a little too much and missed something or hit something and she may be permanently paralysed."

Robin rubbed his shoulder. "Patrick" she said softly, not flinching at his temper. "You are a gifted surgeon and not one to take a victory lap in the OR. There are many reasons she could be paralysed. You need to be patient and let the swelling go down."

He flopped his head back on the couch. "I'm losing it" he said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm becoming too involved - I need to be more detached - somewhere along the way I became human in the OR and it's having disastrous results."

"Are you serious?" Robin asked quietly.

Sitting up, he looked at Robin. "My best quality in the OR is my cold bloodedness and I'm losing that - it makes me just ordinary in the OR."

"Patrick - you have never been more wrong in your life - which is interesting considering how wrong you have been - your best quality in the OR is not your cold bloodedness. If anything that's what's standing between you being a good surgeon and a great surgeon. Humanity doesn't make you weak..."

"You don't get it Robin - you're not a surgeon" He passed Rian to her and got up, walking towards his desk. "You don't hold a life in your hands the way I do - you just can't understand."

She narrowed her eyes. "I have held lives in my hands - including yours - so don't lecture me that I don't know what it's like."

"I don't have the energy or inclination to fight with you right now." He sank into his chair.

Robin stood up and put Rian back in his stroller. "Just the opposite really. You want to fight with me because you're so worried that you might have been less than perfect that you'll feel better if you can take it out on me."

He pressed his fists into his forehead. "I don't want to take anything out on you - I didn't ask you to come here and I don't want to fight."

"Okay" she said kindly. "Eat something." Pulling open the door, she pushed the stroller through. "Love you"

Patrick watched her leave and pushed the papers off the desk in frustration. He wanted answers and there were none to be found yet.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The water had finally gone cold and she knew that she couldn't stay in the tub any longer. Her muscles ached like she had run an Ironman triathlon, twice. There was a heaviness to her body and to her heart. As she stepped out of the tub and started to dry herself off, she thought back to the scene that had prompted the long soak. She had sat down with Oliver and Grace to talk about Drew. Desperate to reach her angry daughter and just wanting to be near her son, she started to talk about their father and how much he loved them. Grace would have none of the conversation and began to walk away. Nathalie demanded she stay, going so far as to sit beside her on the couch and box her in. Grace began to scream and cry and ran off in search of Lulu or anyone who wasn't Nathalie. Kind, knowing Alfred had placated Grace with a cookie, taken Oliver for a bottle and told Nathalie that he had run a bath for her.

She had sunk into the water, briefly wondering if it would wash away more than just her sore muscles. The opening statements had gone well and been uneventful. Her parents' lawyer was certainly high priced and talented but Nathalie had much confidence in her representation. Tomorrow was the day that it would all change for her and not in any way that she wanted. She would be the first to testify which would lead to the cross examination by opposing counsel. She had been unflinchingly honest with Alexis about her past so that there would no surprises for her. But there was a difference between no surprises and no pain. The time had also come for her to confide in Nikolas and she was dreading it. His support had sustained her through some tough moments with her parents and with her children but regardless of how patient he claimed to be, everyone had a breaking point. Wrapping the thick, white robe around her, she headed to their bedroom and lay down on the bed. Nikolas had a late board meeting at the hospital and she vowed to stay awake until he came home so they could have the conversation she never wanted to have. Fatigue overtook her and she dozed off.

She woke to the feel of Nikolas' lips between her breasts. Moaning, she thought at first she was dreaming but as his hands gently kneaded her breasts she knew it wasn't a dream. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you" she murmured as he dropped feathery kisses over her chest and on to her neck.

"You looked like sleeping beauty" he said against her neck. He captured her ear lobe with his lips and snaked his hand around her waist. "I missed you" he said, in search of her mouth. Opening her mouth to speak, he cut her off by sweeping his tongue inside and tangling with hers. He cupped her face as she came off the pillow, matching him with intensity. It didn't matter how many ways or how many times they kissed, each one felt like the first time.

She slowly pulled away from his lips. "We need to talk" she said somewhat breathlessly.

"Uh oh" he said, stroking her face. "No good conversations ever started with 'we need to talk'" Feeling the knots in her body, he lowered his hand and stroked her torso. "Is this where you tell me you used to be a man?"

Nathalie giggled as she closed her hand over his. "No but this is a conversation that we probably shouldn't have with you groping me."

Nikolas saw the seriousness in her eyes. "Okay. Are you ready for bed?" he asked, rolling off the bed. Standing up, he began to unbutton his shirt.

She nodded. "What are you doing?"

"Whatever this conversation is, we can have it in bed. I don't want to grope you but I do want to touch you." She sighed quietly. He stepped out of his pants and boxers and pulled the covers back. Nathalie took the robe off and threw it on a chair before climbing into bed with him. Laying on her back, she stared up at the ceiling while he lay on his side, his head propped up on his elbow. He ran his thumb over her chin. "So what is it?"

She closed her eyes and began to tell him the story of going away to boarding school at 14 and discovering boys. Positioning it as a girl gone wild, she made it sound like she was boy crazy as opposed to being desperate for someone to love her. He didn't react, continuing to stroke her face and hair as she spoke. She told him about being stopped at Heathrow with a tiny amount of cocaine and how it nearly cost her father his posting as ambassador to the United Kingdom.

"That's it?" he said quietly, pressing his lips against her neck.

"Nik, I've had sex with a lot of partners - more than is considered polite. When they ask me in court tomorrow how many partners I've had, and they will ask, I'll only be able to approximate."

"I don't care."

She opened her eyes and gently touched her face. "Of course you care, on some level you care."

He tenderly kissed her lips. "I really don't. Nathalie we can't be judged by the choices we make when we're 14 or 19 or 23 - when we know better, we do better. And whatever choices you made, they made you into the person you are today and I really" he kissed her "really like you."

She rolled onto her side, her back to him. Nikolas moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. She nestled against his back and sighed. Tangling her legs with his, she closed her eyes before speaking again. "I don't want you to come to court tomorrow"

"What?" he tried to turn her to face him but she wouldn't be moved. "Why not?"

"Because of my testimony."

"Nathalie, I've already told you that it doesn't bother me."

"It bothers me and I don't want you to have the image of me testifying in detail to the less than enjoyable parts of my past. Knowing about it and hearing about it in open court are two different things."

He held her tighter and kissed her shoulder. "I love you - try and get some sleep."

Nathalie nodded, knowing sleep was never going to really come.

xxxxxx

Having waited until almost midnight for him to come home Robin finally gave up and went to bed. She knew he was torturing himself trying to find the reason for what went wrong. She also knew that sometimes there were no answers. She hadn't been asleep very long when she felt his arms drape around her as he nuzzled her neck.

"You know what I did that was stupid?" he whispered against her ear.

"No, what?" she replied quietly.

"I was upset about something and I completely took it out on you" he pressed his lips in to the soft skin just under her ear.

"Yes you did" she smiled as his hand traveled up and palmed her breast.

"Do you think I can make it up to you?" he asked, pushing his hips into hers, his semi-hard member lodging against her.

t"I'm not sure" she teased. "My feelings were really hurt."

"I can make you feel really good" he said throatily.

"You think you can?"

Robin gasped as he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He kissed her neck, nibbling on the skin where her neck met her shoulder. Reaching her hand behind her, she rubbed his taught ass while pushing him even further into her. He rolled his hips against hers as he pushed back into him. He hissed as he hardened quickly. Raising her arm over her head to stroke his hair, she left her breast exposed and he massaged it urgently. The softness of her skin, the reaction of her body created a need in him. Moving his hand to her other breast, he tugged on the nipple until it pebbled and hardened.

"God Patrick" she moaned, throwing her head back against his shoulder.

He traced his fingers down her torso and teasingly ran them over her engorged folds. He rolled her onto her stomach and stradling her, began to lavish her back in kisses. Robin groaned and spread her legs in response. He massaged the round globes of her ass and she pushed hard back into his hands. Spreading her cheeks further apart, he ran his thumb along her slit, teasingly flicking her clit. He knew exactly how to touch her to provoke a response. Cupping her sex, he smiled as he felt the heat pool between her legs and she pushed down against his hand.

"Touch me Patrick" she asked.

"I am touching you" he said, leaning over her back.

"Inside" she panted, moving against his hand.

He kissed his way across her shoulders. "Up on your knees"

Complying, Robin kneeled up, sticking her ass in the air. Removing his hand, he cupped her breast, teasingly tracing circles around her nipple. "I'm sorry I was a jerk" he said huskily as Robin ground her hips in an invitation for him to take her.

"Start making it up to me" she growled in response.

"How?" he asked, letting his fingertips graze her opening. Dipping them inside, he removed them quickly. Robin moved her hips in search of his fingers and he slowly dipped them in a second time. He rubbed his rock hard erection up against her, hearing her breath hitch. Leaning down, he planted a wet kiss on each cheek.

"Take me please" she whimpered.

It always amazed her how he could have her begging for release so quickly. Patrick sheathed himself quickly and grabbing hold of her hips, buried himself deep inside of her. They both gasped from the contact and he stilled momentarily, allowing them both to get used to it. Robin rocked her hips back, encouraging him to thrust. Keeping one hand on her hip, he thrust deeply inside her while letting his hand travel over her body. She shivered under his touch and her inner walls began clenching around him. Pulling away from him, he groaned at the sudden loss of contact. She rolled onto her back.

"I want to touch you" she whispered as she hoisted her legs in the air, wrapping them around his waist and pulling him closer to her.

He growled as he entered her a second time. Needing to touch his skin, she ran her hands over his chest as he lowered himself over her. Resting his palm against her pubic bone, he rolled her sensitive nub between his fingers. Snaking her hand around his neck, she pulled his mouth down to his and greedily feasted on his lips. Patrick moaned into her mouth as he continued to piston against her. With his orgasm building, he buried his head against her neck as his body shook against hers. Feeling him empty into the condom, Robin gave into her release and trembled as wave after wave of her climax washed over her.

Patrick collapsed against her, his body slick with sweat. Robin soothingly ran her hands over his back, tenderly kissing his cheek. "I don't know about you" she said quietly "but I feel much better now."

He smiled against her skin. "Making up is such fun."

xxxxxx

Lulu watched as Nikolas did up his tie. "I thought Nathalie said she didn't want you in court with her today."

"She did."

"And so this is how you respect her wishes?"

Turning to her, he gave her a half smile. "She is trying to protect me from what she thinks will change my mind about her. She needs all the support she can get and I'm not going to let her go through this alone."

Lulu smiled. "You really love her, don't you?"

Slipping his jacket on, he smiled. "Yes - I'd do anything for her Lu."

"Good luck" Lulu said.

He kissed her forehead. "Thanks for taking care of the kids today."

"My pleasure. See you tonight."

xxxxx

Nikolas paced in the courthouse lobby waiting for the courtroom to open for the day's proceedings. He looked up when he saw Robin, Patrick and Brenda approach. Patrick smiled at him. "Did she ask you to stay away?"

Nikolas nodded. "You?"

Patrick smirked. "Something about I should do something useful with my day as opposed to wasting it here with her."

"So how pissed do you think she's going to be when she sees us?" Brenda asked.

"Very" Nikolas and Patrick answered together.

"How is she doing?" he asked Nikolas.

Nikolas shrugged. "Hard to say. Just when I think I've gotten through one of her walls I find there are ten more."

Patrick squeezed Robin's hand. "Sounds familiar." Robin touched his arm. "Nik, as long as I've known her she has always been guarded and that she's opened up to you speaks volumes about her feelings."

Nikolas jammed his hands into his pockets. "Thanks. I suspect this is going to be a long day." Seeing the courtroom door, he nodded in its direction. "I guess we should go in" he said.

Brenda linked arms with him and smiled as he looked at her quizzically. "Nat isn't the only one who needs support." He gave her a grateful smile. The four stopped at the room entrance. Whereas it had been relatively quiet the day before, the court room was packed with media and several very high profile supporters of John Harder.

"Shit" Patrick said under his breath.

xxxxxxx

He carefully watched the movements of the four friends. He consulted his notebook and wrote down what he felt was pertinent information. He had just put his notebook inside his jacket and was about to head out when he felt a hand close around his arm. Trying to shake free, he used his free hand to reach for the gun he had taken to carrying.

"Don't strain Mr. Harris. We're not going to hurt you" the man said in a thick Mediterranean accent.

"What do you want?" he hissed, suddenly noticed three other burly men nearby.

"Our boss would like a word with you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Nathalie pulled down on her jacket as she walked to the witness stand. For all the times she had been in a courtroom this was the first time she had ever sat in that particular seat. Standing up, she raised her right hand and swore to tell the truth. It wasn't until she took her seat that she saw them - four people who had come to mean so much to her. They had all defied her request to stay away and were sitting together. They smiled at her but she looked away. It was going to be a day of humiliation and she hadn't wanted anyone to witness it.

Alexis rose from her seat and walked towards Nathalie. She focused on her lawyer, trying to shut out all the distractions around her. Alexis opened with some softball questions before asking her about her children, her work, the type of life she provided for them. It was an easy exchange of information but then the hard part wasn't going to come from her side. She knew the minute Alexis sat down the assault would begin. Her only comfort was that Alexis would treat her father with as much disdain as his lawyer would treat her. Having declared her love for her children in response to Alexis' final question, Nathalie took a drink of water and steeled herself.

Her father's lawyer, Douglas Young, had a kind face and pale blue eyes but she wasn't fooled. He needed to score a win from her and she offered so many opportunities for that. He too was kind in the beginning but Nathalie knew not to be drawn in. There were three questions, just three, that would fundamentally change her life and the lives of her children. Like a good a storyteller, she could see him weave the tale that he wanted the judge to hear. In many ways her answers were almost irrelevant to the outcome. Looking at him, they both knew what the result was going to be.

"How long have you been dating Nikolas Cassadine?" he asked casually.

"For about five months" She couldn't look at Nikolas. She wanted to, she wanted to crawl inside the safety she knew she would see in his eyes but there was no escape.

"Five months? My goodness. So let me make sure I understand - less than seven months after the death of your husband, you've uprooted your children from the only home they've ever known to take up with a new man?"

"My children weren't uprooted and we didn't move so that I could date."

You like men, don't you?" he asked

"Yes." She resisted the urge to expand on any answer.

"You've dated a lot?"

"Yes" she said, refusing to lower her eyes in shame as her parents expected her to.

"How would you define a lot? More than 10? More than 20?"

"Yes." She wanted to delay the inevitable for as long as she could

"How many sexual partners have you had?" Alexis objected but the judge overruled. "Do you need me to repeat the question?"

"Probably 40" Her voice wavered for the first time.

"Probably? Do you not know?"

"I haven't kept a ledger if that's what you're asking." The flush in her cheeks was the only indication of her discomfort. Brenda noticed Nikolas clenching and unclenching his fists. She put a hand on his arm to comfort him. Nathalie made the mental checkmark beside question one. Only two more to go.

"Tell me Mrs. Walker - how did your husband die?"

Nathalie inhaled quietly. "In a car accident."

"Was it really an accident?"

"That's what the police report says"

"Was it an accident?" he repeated. All signs of his earlier kindness and sympathy were long gone.

For the first time since her testimony began, Nathalie's eyes went in search of support - they landed on Patrick's. He held her gaze and did his best to silently comfort her. She looked back at Mr. Young. "I wasn't there, I wouldn't know."

Exasperated by her stonewalling, he walked back to his table and rifled through his papers. "Mrs. Walker, I have in my possession a letter addressed to a Dr. Patrick Drake in which your husband admits that if this letter was sent it was because he committed suicide. So I ask you, did your husband kill himself?"

Robin's hand went in search of Patrick's. It was cold and clammy and Robin could feel the slight tremble in it. The memory of finding him alone, in the dark, amidst the destruction of his hotel room, was still fresh. He had been desperate and devastated and it had taken hours before she could finally reach him. The knowledge of the circumstances around his best friend's death had weighed on him and though he wouldn't discuss it much any more, she suspected it still did. She squeezed his hand and moved closer to him.

"I don't know if my husband killed himself Mr. Young, you'd have to ask him."

The lawyer smirked. "Fair enough. Based on this letter, would you say it is likely your husband killed himself?"

"Based on that letter I would say it is likely my husband intended to kill himself." Nathalie finished at the top of her class in law school and wasn't about to fall into any trap set by this man.

She blew out her cheeks quietly and ran her hand through her hair, question number two was done. She briefly wondered why she bothered wearing any clothes at all when it was clear that the purpose of the proceeding was to leave her feeling as exposed as possible. The answers to the first two question still left things in the balance but it would be question three that would tip the scales.

"Tell me, Mrs. Walker - where are your children living right now?"

Nathalie closed her eyes. It was over. She knew the minute she opened her mouth to answer the question she would lose her children. "They are living at Wyndermere."

He feigned surprise. "Wyndermere? Do you live at Wyndermere?"

"No" she said hoarsely.

"Who owns Wyndermere?"

"Nikolas Cassadine." Nathalie was unable to meet his eyes.

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"So your children don't actually even live with you now. You are content to leave them in the custody of your boyfriend's nanny while you are partying it up? Trolling for new men?"

"Objection!!" Alexis said forcefully.

"Your honour" Mr. Young approached the judge. "Given that the defendant does not currently see fit to exercise her parental responsibilities over her children, we petition the court the grant immediate temporary custody to my clients."

"Your honour" Alexis rose to her feet. "The situation is more complex than my colleague would lead you to believe..."

The judge raised his hand. "I will take the matter under advisement. I wish to hear testimony from the plaintiff this afternoon and I will want to meet with the children in chambers. I will render a decision on temporary custody subsequent to that. We are adjourned until this 2 o'clock this afternoon." Everyone stood as the judge left the room. Nathalie sank back down to the chair and watched as her parents refused to make eye contact with her. Fatigue washed over her and she was suddenly too tired to move

Her knees trembled as she stood up. Alexis offered her a steadying arm as she stepped down. "I'm just going to get some air" she said quietly. She brushed past her and headed out the door. Nikolas grabbed her arm as she walked by but she shook him off and kept walking. Running after her he tried but failed to catch up to her as she sought to escape the media horde. He leaned against the pillar and watched her run.

xxxxx

"Did you fall down?" Ethan asked, looking down at Lulu.

Feeling her cheeks flush, Lulu was grateful the cold weather covered her blushing. "I'm making a snow angel" she announced.

"Yeah" Grace echoed "we're making snow angels."

Ethan grinned. "Hi Gracie, how are you?"

"Fine." Rolling over she scampered to her feet. "Lulu, can we get hot chocolate now?"

"Yes munchkin" she said, sitting up. Offering his hand, Ethan pulled her to her feet.

"Another day playing in the snow?" he asked.

"Jealous?" she teased.

"Maybe." He jammed his hands in his pockets to resist pushing her hair from her face. "Would you like some company for hot chocolate?" he asked shyly.

"Sure - does this make it a pre-date date?" Lulu had finally found the courage to call Ethan after a day of dialing his number and hanging up. They had decided on a Almodovar double feature for Friday night, followed by drinks.

"You mean like a warm up date?" he asked.

"Exactly."

"Does this mean if hot chocolate doesn't go well, you'll cancel on me?"

She shook her head. "No - I usually need to try things a few times before I can reject them completely."

"Lucky for me" he grinned.

Grace stood in front of Lulu with her arms up. "Carry me Lu."

Bending down, she picked her up and balanced her on her hip. "Are you getting tired Gracie-lou?"

"No Lulu-lou - I'm not tired." Arriving at the hot choclate stand, Lulu placed their order before turning back to Ethan. "So what are you doing in the park today?"

"I went to see if my dad was free for lunch but he couldn't swing it. He's working on a big case and I guess things started to go his way so he's got to work through lunch."

Lulu wrapped her hands around the hot chocolate as Grace chased the snowflakes trying to catch them on her tongue. "Is your dad a lawyer?" Clearing some snow from the picnic table, Lulu sat down. Ethan did the same thing, sitting close enough for their legs to be touching.

"Yeah - he's working on some big custody case for some Washington socialites."

Lulu's blood ran cold. "Pardon?"

He shrugged. "I don't know - we don't talk about his work too much - but he was hired a couple months ago by some grandparents who think their daughter is unfit. I guess he's going to get quite a bit of publicity about it."

She dropped her hot chocolate. "I have to go" she said standing up suddenly.

"What? Why?" he asked in confusion.

"And I don't think I can make Friday night after all. See you around Ethan" Lulu said, trying to keep the sting of tears from her eyes. "Grace - let's go - it's time to go home."

"Lulu! Wait!" Ethan called after her. Everything had shifted and he had no idea why. Lulu picked up Grace and started to hurry out of the park. With the advantage of his long legs, he was able to catch up to them. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, searching her green eyes for some indication.

Lulu put Grace on the ground. "I just think it's better if we don't go down this road."

"But - did I do something?" his voice was earnest. "I thought you liked me."

"I do but..."

"But what?"

She looked over at Grace before turning back to him. "That case - that custody case your father has taken - it's about her" she nodded in Grace's direction. "That's my friend your father is trying to rob of her children."

Ethan's mouth dropped open. "I had no idea."

"Yeah well, she's a mess, my friend's a mess and if the worst happens, my brother will be in a mess."

"But what does this have to do with us?" he asked. "Lulu, I don't work for my father - I have nothing to do with his cases."

"I just...I don't know."

"What if I change my last name - if I change my last name will you go out with me?"

Her face softened. "Why are you so insistent on going out with me?"

He looked at her shyly. "Because I like you. You're the first really interesting person I've met in the two years that I've been here."

Lulu snorted. "You need to get out more."

He grinned. "Maybe. Please don't let my father's work get in the way of us getting to know each other better - please Lulu"

The pleading in his eyes was irresistible. "I don't know..."

"Come on - I promise to make you laugh."

She took a deep breath. "Okay"

xxxxxx

Bruce fidgeted in the brocade chair. The room was heavy with tapestry and gold fixtures. It was luxurious, almost over the top. The four men had said nothing on the long ride to wherever they were. Having been blindfolded, he had lost his bearings and had no idea how long they had been in the car. His heart rate had been rapid and he sweated profusely despite the reassurances from the men that he was not in fact being kidnapped. They had removed his gun with the promise of giving it back to him for the return journey. Unable to sit any longer, he walked to the window and stared at the snowy grounds. There was a high stone fence surrounding what looked to be a substantial property. Hearing the door open, he turned around.

"Mr. Harris. How nice of you to come for a visit."

"I don't recall having had much of a choice" he grumbled.

"Yes, well, discretion is very important to me. I've been watching you for quite some time."

"Oh?"

"Yes - I think you and I could be of great service to each other and work towards some common goals."

"I'm not sure what you think you know..."

"I have infinite resources at my disposal Mr. Harris - may I call you Bruce?"

"I'm afraid I don't have the advantage of knowing your name."

"Pardon me" she said. "Where are my manners? I am Helena Cassadine."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Nathalie sat perfectly straight in the chair. Her mother would constantly remind her that good posture was a sign of good breeding and as a result she was incapable of slouching. She watched with detached curiosity as her father took the stand. He too sat straight and in a clear and loud voice stated his name for the record. She only half-listened as the adept Mr. Young led her father through the laundry list of her failings. Having heard him describe his disappointment in her for so many years, it barely even registered when he told the court that she wasn't dependable, was a poor example and should never have had children in the first place.

Alexis rose and began her cross-examination. Nathalie knew that very little would come of it. No matter how despicable her parents were, and they were overachievers in that department, they had lived a public life beyond reproach. There was no dirt to be had, no scandal to be uncovered. A side by side comparison would inevitably show that she was the lesser parent and that her children would be better off with them.

"Mr. Harder - do you love your daughter?" Alexis asked.

"Pardon me?"

"Do you love your daughter?" she removed her glasses.

"My daughter has made it very difficult to be involved in her life and she is a poor role model."

"Thank you but that isn't what I asked you. Do you love your daughter?"

He looked at Alexis and shifted his gaze to Nathalie. "No" he said clearly.

"Did you ever love your daughter?"

"Your line of questioning is not relevant" he countered.

Alexis crossed her arms and smirked. "Mr. Harder, you can be a witness or you can be a lawyer but you can't be both at the same time. Did you ever love your daughter?"

"When she was deserving of it."

"Deserving?" Alexis questioned. "And is that what you plan on doing to your grandchildren if you are awarded custody - make them jump through hoops to prove they deserve your love?"

"Not at all" he shook his head. "Once we get the children away from her negative influence, they will be filled with love and guidance, everything a child needs to succeed."

In an effort to get him to break, Alexis peppered him with further questions but he was too experienced and too sure of himself to slip up. Finished with her questioning, the judge adjourned the court until the next morning when he would meet with Grace in chambers. Nathalie stood as the judge exited and smoothed her skirt. Turning, she followed Alexis out a side door. Nikolas followed behind.

xxxxx

Patrick held Robin's hand tightly as they walked along the docks. "Where's your head at?" Robin asked quietly.

"Drew had told me that Nat came from a messed up family and they had done some damage to her - her parents didn't come to her wedding - but I had no idea that it was like that."

"Her father is hateful - can you imagine admitting in open court that you don't love your child?" Patrick shook his head. "Did you want to go see her tonight?"

"No" he said quietly. "I think she needs more of what Nik can offer than me - I'll spend some time with her tomorrow." Stopping, he looked at his watch. "Would you mind if we asked my dad to come for dinner tonight?"

Robin stroked his arm. "Not at all."

"We should ask Brenda too" he added. "After hearing the ambassador go on in court today, I'd like us to just be with the people we love."

Lifting his hand to her mouth, Robin kissed it. "Sounds like a great plan. Let me pick up Rian from daycare and I'll call Bren and Noah and you can figure out what we eat."

"Okay." He cupped her face and pulled her lips into his. "I love you Robin and I love our son and there is nothing either one of you could do to change that."

She smiled as she returned his kiss. "Right back at you"

xxxxx

"Are you going to speak to me at all?" Nikolas asked as he watched Nathalie move food around on her plate.

The car ride from the courtroom had been silent. Nikolas had reached for her hand and while she had let him take it, she hadn't returned his squeeze. He had been in the room as she tried to prepare Grace for her appearance before the judge tomorrow but as every conversation had lately, it ended with the little girl telling her mother that she hated her. Nathalie had tried everything since New Year's Eve - negotiation, discipline, even just holding her, none of it worked to soothe the angry little girl.

"I asked you not to come today" she said flatly, staring at the food.

"I know but I didn't want you to be alone."

She scoffed. "I already am, Nik."

"You have me" he said softly. "And Patrick and Robin and Brenda and Lulu - family of choice."

"I didn't want you to hear that."

Nikolas moved his chair beside hers at the table, turning sideways on the chair so he was facing her. "Didn't want me to hear what?" He tucked her hair behind her ear.

"About my past."

"Don't you mean you didn't want me to hear what your father said?"

She shrugged disinterestedly. "Whatever - I had already told you that I was a disappointment to them, he just confirmed that."

"Nathalie in all the conversations we've had about your family and about mine, how is it you never told me you were abused?"

Her head snapped up. "I wasn't abused" she said firmly.

He rested his hand on her shoulder, wincing at the knots that were so evident. "Yes you were." His voice was kind but firm.

The cutlery clanged against the plate as she dropped it. "Stop saying that!" she insisted as her breathing became more rapid. "I was not abused."

Lifting his hand, he cupped her cheek and wiped at the first tears with his thumb. "Your parents withheld their love from you Nathalie - by anyone's definition, that's abuse."

"Stop" she whispered. She wanted to surrender to his touch, give herself over to him but didn't trust herself to do so. The legacy of her childhood was that she wouldn't allow herself to depend on another person for anything. Drew had worn her down and with infinite patience convinced her that she could trust his love. And then he did the unthinkable. His choice still had her on the run.

Keeping his hand on her face, he ran his thumb over her cheek. "All this time" he said quietly "I thought it was Drew's death that had you reeling but I know now it's because you don't think you can be loved." She shook her head, tears silently slipping down her face. "But that's not true - it is so easy to love you Nathalie." He pressed his lips just underneath her ear. "You are kind and generous and you have shown such love to me. I have seen how you love your children, our friends, my sister and my son. You are loveable."

Nathalie bit her lip to keep from crying. She had no resistence left when he pulled her onto his lap. Draping his arm over her hips, he linked his fingers through hers. "You are loveable" he repeated. A small sob escaped from her throat as she buried her head in his neck. He rubbed her back, saying nothing. Beyond wanting to take care of her, the only other thing he wanted was to cause as much damage to her parents as they had to her.

Robin looked out the window as Patrick and Noah, bundled in winter jackets, stood over the barbecue. She couldn't keep from smiling at both the absurdity and the warmth of the picture before her. Patrick had been so shaken by the day in court that his instinct was to surround himself with those whom he loved. Domesticity was his new source of strength.

"Seriously? They're barbecuing in January?" Brenda asked, sipping on a glass of red wine.

"It's a male thing" Robin shrugged. "Meat, fire, outdoors."

"It's kind of hot and creepy all at the same time isn't it?"

"Oh yeah" Robin agreed. Leaning back against the counter she watched as her friend continued to stare out the window at the two Drake men. "So, uh, Bren?"

"Yah-huh?" Brenda couldn't take her eyes from Noah. He had seen her in full self-sabotage mode and rather than run away and leave her to it, he stayed with her the entire night. He listened without prejudice as she talked about her toxic relationship with Sonny and the bad choices she continued to make in her life. He had held her through the night reminding her time and again that she was safe. In her very jet set life she had been offered diamonds, gems, cars and money but Noah was the first to offer her something that valuable. Her heart ached for Nathalie during her testimony. Brenda had been where she was and knew all too well the damage parents could inflict.

"Anything new going on in your life that you care to tell me about?"

"Not really. Like what?"

"Oh I don't know" Robin said casually. "How long you're staying in Port Charles or perhaps what the heck is going on between you and Noah?"

Brenda dropped her wine glass. "Pardon?"

xxxxx

"So it was bad today in court?" Noah asked as he and Patrick hopped from foot to foot trying to keep warm.

Patrick nodded. "Her parents - gah! I don't have the words."

"Not everyone is meant to be a parent sport. You certainly are though -I can't tell you how proud I am of you every time I see you with Rian."

He blushed uncharacteristically. "Thanks Dad." Lifting the lid on the barbecue Patrick turned the steaks over. "You know, I listened to Nat's dad say that he didn't love her now and that he loved her as a kid when she was deserving of it..."

"What an ass!" Noah exclaimed.

"Yeah" Patrick nodded. "It got me to thinking though - even when things were really bad between us - you were drinking and I was being me - you know, it never occurred to me to think that you didn't love me."

Noah swallowed thickly. "Patrick" he put his hand on his son's shoulder. "The minute your mother told me she was pregnant, I fell in love with you. I used to talk to you through her belly" Patrick grinned remembering how he had done the same thing when Robin was carrying Rian. "I saw you being born and I knew that I would love always because you are my son. There is nothing in this world that could stop me from loving you." Noah pulled his son into a tight embrace.

"I love you Dad." Patrick whispered against his hood.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"I think Robin knows about us"

"Oh?" Noah asked, unbuttoning Brenda's blouse. She couldn't remember the last time Noah had actually let her take off her own clothes but she didn't mind. Pushing her blouse from her shoulders, he sucked lightly on her neck. "What did you tell her?" he asked before moving to the other side.

She found it difficult to concentrate on anything other than his lips on her skin. "I...uh....I told her nothing was going on."

Smirking, he put her hand against his already straining erection. "I wouldn't call this nothing."

Brenda licked her lips as the tips of her fingers danced over the length. "Oh it's certainly not nothing." Pulling his green sweater over his head and tossing it to the side, Brenda pressed her lips in the middle of his chest. "I just didn't want to out you. And I think she bought it - I mean she dropped it after that."

He threaded his fingers through her hair. "I don't have a problem with it Brenda" he said kindly. "We're under wraps because it's what you want"

She took a step back. "Is it a problem for you?"

He held out his hand to her. "No. Whenever you're ready, I will be too."

"What if I'm never ready?"

He pulled her to him and slowly danced with her in the middle of his living room. "Then you're never ready."

"I'm not embarrassed to tell people we're dating" she said against his chest.

"I know."

Lifting her head she looked up at him. "How is it that you are so understanding?"

He smiled and tugged gently on her bottom lip. "Because I'm incredibly old and I've lived an interesting life." He closed his eyes as she ran her hands over his chest. Every time she touched him he felt energy course through his body. He had resigned himself to a solitary life and was quite comfortable with his decision and then Brenda charmed her way in and now he couldn't imagine not sharing his bed or his life with her. "I love the way you touch me" he said huskily.

She pushed her hips into his eliciting a hiss. "Really?"

Walking backwards, he sat down in the rocking chair he had made several years before and held out his hand to her. Brenda sauntered to him and hooking her legs through the open spaces straddled him. Noah groaned as she made contact with his arousal. She ground her hips against him as he slowly rocked back and forth. Crashing her lips on to his, Brenda claimed his mouth. Sucking greedily on his tongue, she threaded her fingers through his hair, deepening the kiss.

Noah couldn't keep his hands from her. Pushing her blouse the rest of the way from her body, Noah buried his face between her breasts breathing in her heady scent. He pushed himself further against her and smiled as Brenda mewled. Sliding her bra straps from her shoulders, he freed her breasts from their cups. Hotly locking eyes with her he watched her reaction as gently twisted and tugged on her nipples. Brenda threw her head back and pushed herself further into his hands, heat gushing between her legs. Hiking her skirt up over her hips, she continued to move in circles over him, feeling the throbbing through his pants. He lavished her neck and shoulders with wet, hot kisses. Nipping at her collarbone, he gasped as she rolled his nipples between her fingers. "Okay beautiful girl, I need you out of that skirt" he panted.

Brenda unhooked her legs and slowly slid from his lap. Dropping her head she looked at him from under her eyelashes. "This skirt?" she asked seductively. Noah nodded wordlessly unable to take his eyes from her. Reaching behind her, Brenda unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the ground. Stepping out of it she hooked her thumbs through her black satin panties. "I suppose you want these off too?"

Noah stared at the damp patch between her legs and thought he would come on the spot. Brenda slid her panties down her legs and kicked them to the side. Spreading her legs slightly she palmed her breasts and sighed deeply. Unable to take anymore, Noah stood up and unzipping his pants, let them fall to the floor. Brenda arched an eyebrow as she stared at his jutting erection. "No boxers? My, my Dr. Drake - what would people think?"

"They would think that you are clearly driving me mad. Come here" he growled. Brenda walked towards him and gently pushed him back into the chair. Sheathing himself quickly, he stared at her wantonly. Hooking her legs through the open spaces, she hovered above him, letting his sensitive head graze the entrance to her tight channel. She lowered herself on his shaft at an agonizing rate. Noah gripped her hips and pushed up into her. "Ahhh!" Brenda exclaimed as he filled her. Rocking back and forth on the chair, Brenda moved up and down, clenching around his shaft. Dipping his head, Noah ravished her breasts. Taking her nipple between his teeth he smiled as Brenda cried out his name. She needfully ran her hand through his hair and over his shoulders. She could not get enough of him and always wanted more. Noah began to thrust harder as he took her whole breast in his mouth. Leaning forward Brenda sucked hard on his neck, stopping only as her orgasm tore through her.

"Fuck NOAH!!" she cried, her head thrown back. Feeling her spasm around him was more than he could resist and he climaxed hard against her.

Brenda collapsed against his shoulder and nuzzled his neck. Leaning his head against the back of his chair in exhaustion, he closed his eyes as he traced his fingers down her back. Brenda closed her eyes, content. She listened the steady rhythm of his heart while slowly running her hand over his chest. "I like this chair" she murmured.

"I love you Brenda" he said softly. Her eyes flew open.

xxxxx

Rolling over and feeling an empty space beside her, Robin pried her eyes opened. Sighing, she sat up and threw the covers back. Grabbing Patrick's hoodie, she wrapped it around her and padded down the stairs. She stopped on the last step and looking in the living room smiled as she wiped the sleep from her face. Cradling Rian in his arm he was reading The Cat in the Hat. She walked in to the room and cuddled up beside him on the couch, pulling the throw around the three of them.  
"Couldn't sleep?" she asked kissing his shoulder.

"No"

"Gracie, Ellie or Nathalie?"

"Yes, yes and yes" he said as he tickled Rian's chin.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Robin marveled at how much Patrick had grown in the time they had known each other but getting him to talk about his feelings was still a near impossibility.

He shook his head. "I can't fix it for any of them - I either don't know what the problem is or I don't know what the solution is."

She rubbed his shoulder. "You're not meant to know everything."

He sighed deeply. "Nathalie was with me every step of the way when you were sick, offering advice and support. Even when I crapped all over her she wouldn't back away and what can I do for her in her time of need? Nothing."

"That's not true. However the custody decision comes down Patrick she will need you. You are her history here. You're the only one who knows Drew and that's important in all of this." She laced her fingers through his. "Now talk to me about Ellie."

"No change - full paralysis from mid-chest."

"How many times have you called in?"

He smirked. "Enough that Epiphany threatened to remove my spleen through my nose if I called again before I'm back on shift." Robin giggled. "I just don't understand it - I've reviewed her films and all the operative notes and I can't find a single reason as to why the paralysis continues. The swelling should have gone down enough to see some improvement. Her parents are devastated and I have nothing to tell them."

"Baby, sometimes there aren't answers" she said soothingly.

"What if I did something Robin? What if this is my fault and not only can't I figure that out, I have no clue how to fix it for her." He lifted his arm, allowing Robin to snuggle in closer to him.

"Her tumor was enormous and it's not outside the realm of possibility that there are pieces of the tumor pressing on her cord. As she starts her chemo the pieces may shrink and she'll improve."

Patrick was silent for several minutes as he stroked Rian's face. "I promised her Robin - I promised her that she would be up and playing with her friends after her surgery." He sighed. "Having a bedside manner sucks!"

She laughed as she dropped a kiss over his heart. "I know it's hard Patrick. You've done the very best you can with her and you'll keep working to make her better, that's all anyone can ask for."

He leaned his head on hers. "Sometimes my best isn't enough" he said softly.

xxxxx

Nathalie nervously pulled on the collar of her blouse. She had dressed head-to-toe in black figuring colour would be inappropriate for the day. Grace had spent nearly 20 minutes with the judge, Alexis and Douglas. The sympathetic look on Alexis' face when she returned from chambers told her all she needed to know. Her daughter blamed her for the death of her father and not understanding what was at stake would have wasted no time in sharing that thought with the judge. He asked for a three hour recess to consider the evidence and now nearly five hours later she sat beside Alexis waiting to hear the fate of her children.

The judge started the preamble to his decisions about how difficult custody decisions are and how heartwarming it was to see so many people who wanted the best for Grace and Oliver.

"It is clear from both the testimony of Mrs. Walker and my conversation with Grace Walker that this is a family in a lot of pain. Grief provokes different behaviour in different people and while I recognize Mrs. Walker's right to find comfort and peace where she can, she is no longer a single woman whose decisions only affect her. Every choice she makes has a direct impact on her children. While I certainly have no doubt about her love for her children, this case is not about who loves the children more, it is about what is best for Grace and Oliver. Children need structure and boundaries and they need to be able to rely on their parents to provide that to them. Past behaviour is a good indicator for future behaviour and unless Mrs. Walker finds some professional help to assist her with the reality regarding her husband's death, I am concerned that she will resort to the promiscuity and perhaps even drug use of her youth. I would therefore strongly encourage Mrs. Walker to seek assistance from a counselor or suicide support group or both. Until she seeks the help I believe she needs I am not confident about her ability to parent in the best interest of her children. Therefore, I hereby award temporary physical custody of Grace Walker and Oliver Walker to John and Anne Harder with unsupervised visitation by Nathalie Walker every second weekend, beginning with this coming weekend. My decision today is temporary and I will revisit it with all parties in three months time."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Nathalie said nothing as they made their way back to Wyndermere. Her parents would arrive tomorrow morning at 9 with a representative from Child and Family Services to assume custody. Patrick had offered to return with them to Wyndermere and she had merely shrugged. The three of them walked into the main sitting room and both men sank into chairs, Nathalie remained standing.  
Nikolas patted the seat beside him. "Come sit with me for a couple of minutes"

"No" she said with almost no trace of emotion in her voice. "I asked Alfred to get the kids' things ready and as soon as he brings them down we'll head home."

He looked at her in surprise. "You're ...you aren't staying here tonight?"

She shook her head. "My parents are coming first thing in the morning and I want to spend the night alone with my children." Patrick shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he watched the car crash before him.

"I can be with you in the morning if you want" he offered.

Nathalie smiled sadly. "That's kind but I would hate anyone to think that I'm returning to my promiscuous ways."

Getting up from the chair he walked towards her, trying to reach her before she got too far away. "Nathalie, we love each other. That is hardly promiscuous."

She backed away from, almost afraid for him to touch her. "I think we need to rethink things Nikolas."

He rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. "I cannot be the only one fighting for us Nat - if you want this to work you have to meet me half way."

"I don't have any fight left so I don't think this is going to work." She looked over to the stairs as Grace came bounding down. Mary followed behind carrying Oliver.

"Patty!!" she squealed, bypassing her mother and running straight to his open arms. He scooped her up as she covered his face in kisses.

Nikolas put his hand on Nathalie's arm. "You can't mean that" he said quietly. He felt her slipping from him and he was overcome by sadness. Blinking several times he tried to will his tears from his eyes.

Her eyes were vacant as she looked at him. "I do. You're a wonderful guy Nikolas and there is a woman out there who will make you very happy."

"I don't want another woman, I want you" his voice rising as panic gripped his chest. "Stay and fight - fight for us."

She shrugged. "I am ashes where I once was fire." Walking over to Mary, she took Oliver in her arms. "Come along Grace - we're going home"

"I don't want to go!" she said forcefully. "I want to stay here and wait for Lulu."

"NO!" Nathalie snapped. "We are going home now. Say goodbye to Mary and to Nikolas and let's go. I am not asking you, I'm telling you."

Grace's bottom lip quivered at her mother's sharp tone. "I don't wanna go" she whined.

"Yeah well, we don't always get what we want - you'll learn to live with disappointment - I have."

"Nat..." Nikolas made another attempt.

"I'm sorry Nikolas" her voice trembled as she spoke. Grabbing the two backpacks she headed to the door with Patrick and Grace following behind. Patrick shot Nikolas a sympathetic look but it did little to change his feeling that he was watching part of his life walk out the door. He sank to the couch and cradled his head in his hands.

xxxxxx

"Judge Jeffries?"

"Yes?" the judge asked not looking up from his papers.

"I have a delivery for you" the young man said approaching his desk.

"You can leave it out front with my assistant" he said dismissively.

"I don't think you'll want me to leave this with your assistant." He tossed the thick envelope onto his desk.

The judge flinched and picked it up. Tearing open the seal, he smiled as he thumbed through the packet of bills.

"Mrs. Cassadine thanks you for a job well done" Bruce said.

Pocketing the envelope, the judge looked up. "Tell Mrs. Cassadine that I am always happy to help."

xxxxxx

"Mmm - pureed carrots - how tasty are those?" Robin asked Rian as he mushed his food with his hands before sticking them in his mouth. Rian giggled as his brown eyes danced with laughter.

"I've always thought food was more fun if you were allowed to play with it."

Robin jumped. "Brenda! I didn't hear you come in." She rubbed her hand over her heart trying to steady her breathing.

"Sorry" she said sheepishly. "I called out, I thought you heard me."

"That's okay." She offered another spoonful to Rian. "What brings you by?"

"Is Patrick here?" Her eyes darted around the room.

Tilting her head, she curiously studied her friend's face. "No - he's with Nat - what's up?"

"Poor Nathalie" Brenda said quietly. "I can't imagine what she's going through."

Robin nodded. Patrick had been almost as distraught as Nathalie when the decision came down. Tearing from the courtroom Patrick kept walking until he was standing outside taking one unsteady breath after another. Robin followed him with his winter coat in her hands. She wrapped it around his shoulders as he stared at the sky. Standing behind him she snaked her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. He said nothing instead closing his hands over hers. It only took a few minutes before she felt the tension leave his body.

"Patrick is going to stay with her while she packs up the kids. I guess her parents are coming in the morning." Robin fed another spoonful to her son. "And now that we've made some small talk, care to tell me what's up?"

Brenda got up from her chair and walking to the counter, poured herself a glass of wine. "So, um, remember last night when you asked me if something was going on between Noah and me?"

"Yes and it cost me a wine glass."

Taking a big gulp, Brenda placed the glass back on the counter. "I lied."

"Really" she replied sarcastically. "You don't say."

"Do you need me to give you a minute or two so you can gloat about being right?"

"I'm a good multi-tasker" she said as she wiped carrots from Rian's hands. "I probably only need 30 seconds." Robin danced in her seat. "I am so right! I am so right! Kay, done."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "You're hysterical" she deadpanned.

"Thank you" she grinned. "So...you're sleeping with my father-in-law."

"God -it sounds so Maury Povich."

"Really? I was thinking it sounded more Jerry Springer - now if you were pregnant and didn't know who the daddy was *that* would be Maury"

Brenda nodded. "Good point."

"So - sex with my father-in-law - how long has that been going on?" she asked casually.

Brenda reached for her wine glass. "Since your wedding." Robin raised her eyebrows. "Can we discuss details later? I have a problem." She pulled her sleeves over her hands, nervously twisting the material around.

"What's the problem?" Robin asked in concern.

"He told me he loved me."

"Pardon?" she asked amusedly.

"He told me he loves me!" she repeated frantically.

"What did you say back?"

"Nothing" she shrugged "I kissed him before he could say it again."

"I see. Could you please pour me a glass of wine - I think I'm going to need it."

Brenda brought the bottle and a second glass to the table and slouched into the chair beside her. "He loves me Robs - what the hell does that even mean?"

Robin bit back a smile. "I think it means he really, really likes you to which I say good for both of you."

"Aren't you weirded out by this?"

"It's my father-in-law Bren - not my father. Of course when Patrick finds out he might implode but that will just be fun for me." She was genuinely happy for both of them. She held Noah in such affection and wanted him to be happy. That he could find that with her best friend, who needed a man to love her for exactly who she was, was just a bonus for her.

"Can we not tell Patrick just yet - I'm not sure I can handle that right now."

Robin giggled. "I'm not sure Patrick can handle that right now!"

"I have to admit I'm a little disturbed at how much you're enjoying this."

"Brenda - do you love him?" Robin asked seriously. "Because if you don't or if you can't, you need to cut him loose."

She chewed on her bottom lip. "I could love him Robin but I could hurt him really badly."

"Then don't hurt him" she said firmly. "Loving him is not a choice Brenda - your heart dives in before your head can catch up but hurting him, that's a choice and you don't have to do that."

"He's a good man Robin" she said quietly as she swirled the wine in her glass. "He is so gentle with me there are times I think I might pass out from it all."

Robin closed her head over Brenda's. In the more than 10 years they had been friends there was very little they hadn't shared with each other. "It's okay to accept what he's offering you Brenda. You and I have both spent years running from love and I have to say when you finally stop running and let someone in" she looked at Rian "the results can be off the charts."

"I haven't listened to my heart in so long that I don't know where it even is."

"You know sometimes if you just take a leap, your heart will make itself known soon enough."

Brenda shook her head. "I don't know" she whispered.

"Noah would be worth taking a chance for."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Patrick watched as Nathalie closed the front door, she was pale and the dark circles under her eyes seemed more visible than ever. Even in the days following Andrew's death she didn't seem as broken as she did now. The handover had been without incident, if having to give over your children could be considered incidental.

After returning from Wyndermere Nathalie cooked dinner for the four of them and over macaroni and cheese explained to both children how they would be living with their grandparents for a while and coming to visit on weekends. Patrick had noticed Nathalie forcing a smile and explaining how it would be like an adventure for them. Grace's only question was if she would be allowed to call Patrick and Lulu. Her mother assured that she would and then calmly getting up from the table walked to the bathroom and shut the door. He had tried to speak to Grace about what the change in custody meant but she wasn't at all disappointed to be getting away from her mother. He shuddered to think of ever having a similar conversation with his own child. After speaking with Robin he agreed to spend the night. He sat with Nathalie as she packed suitcases and toys and while they spoke easily of many things she refused to discuss the case or Nikolas and asked him not push her on it. Despite his efforts to stay up with her, by 2 in the morning he had finally given in to sleep. The smell of coffee and pancakes woke him and as he climbed from the bed he knew that she hadn't slept at all.

Holding Oliver to her tightly before giving him to her parents, she covered his still chubby cheeks with kisses. Handing him over, she picked up a squirming Grace and kissed her. Listening as Nathalie told her that no matter what she would always love her nearly broke Patrick's heart. She leaned against the wall and stared at the car pulling out of her driveway. Taking her by the hand, Patrick led her to the couch.

"What can I do?"

"Get my kids back?" she asked giving him a wry smile.

He rubbed her hand between his. "I'm sorry."

She grimaced. "I know. I guess I better figure out what to do with all my free time. Maybe it's time to learn a second language."

"I thought you spoke four already?"

"Okay a fifth language - gah! When did you become such a stickler for details." She tried to lighten the mood but her voice was heavy with grief. She let Patrick pull her into his arms and for a few minutes let his warmth wash over her. He rubbed her back but could do little to ease the tension in her muscles.

"I'd like to give you something to help you sleep" he said into the top of her hair.

She shook her head against his chest. "I don't want to be sedated."

"You need to sleep - you're running on nothing but fumes and I'm afraid you're going to crash. It's a light sedative Nat - you take it now, sleep for a few hours and then take a fresh look at things when you get up."

She pulled out of the embrace. "Sleep and a fresh look at things isn't going to change anything. My kids are gone - off to have their spirits crushed by my parents. I should get ready for work tomorrow - I've taken far too much time off as it is."

"Nat..."

She smiled bravely. "You're a good friend Patrick but I don't need to be sedated."

"I'm not offering this as your friend, I'm telling you as your doctor that you need some sleep."

"I don't want you to babysit."

He smirked. "I think I told you the same thing and you refused to leave - turnabout is fair play." He rubbed his face with his hands. He too was feeling the effects of the last day and couldn't believe it had only been 24 hours since Nathalie's world came crashing around her. "Look, go upstairs, get into bed take the medication and I promise I'll leave and check in on you later - deal?"

Nathalie was too tired to fight and she knew on some level he was right. "I'm not going to do anything stupid you know" she said tiredly.

"It never occurred to me that you would. I don't want to push you Nathalie but I need you to know you're not alone."

She smiled weakly. "I know I'm not. I'm so grateful for everything you've done. I'll need to thank Robin for sharing you with me."

"There is nowhere else I would be."

Standing up from the couch, he pulled her up to him and led her upstairs. Leaving her to get changed, he went to the guest bedroom and pulled out his medical bag. Having brought it inside last night, he thought it would have been needed before this. Counting out two pills he walked back to her room and placed them in her hands. She reluctantly took them and settled against her pillows. Patrick pulled the covers around her and waited for the medication to kick in. It wasn't long before her eyes drooped and her breathing slowed. Once he was sure she was asleep he kissed her cheek and tucked the covers around her.

"I love you Nat" he whispered. Letting himself out he locked the front door and headed home to the comfort of Robin's waiting arms.

xxxxxx

Patrick stood in the doorway and stared lovingly at the inviting sight before him. Robin was dozing on the bed with Rian beside her. She had surrounded him with pillows to keep him from rolling away and she held his tiny hand in hers. Quickly pulling off his sweater and jeans, he slid underneath the covers. Lying on his side, he reached his arm across and laid it overtop of hers. In the last year he had gone from running away from his feelings to running to his wife and his child. They had become his source of strength and his comfort and where they were was the only place he wanted to be.

"You're home" Robin said sleepily, not opening her eyes.

"Shhh. Go back to sleep."

She linked her fingers through his. "We're just having a nap. How was it?"

"I never want to have to live that" he said thickly.

Robin opened her eyes and looked at her husband. Patrick looked haggard and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. Propping herself up, she leaned over Rian and kissed Patrick sweetly and tenderly. "You never will" she said against his lips. "We love you."

Blowing out an unsteady breath, he stroked her face. "I love you too. A day is too long to be away from you."

"I'm sure Nathalie was glad to have you around last night and I love that you were there for her."

He brought his lips to her hand. "I don't know how much help I was but at least she wasn't alone."

"You look exhausted baby" Robin said softly. The stress of the night before was etched on his face. Over their time together Robin had learned that while he may not often verbalize his feelings, he was unable to keep them a secret. She traced her fingers over his eyes. "Close your eyes and sleep." Patrick sighed deeply and letting go of his worry about Nathalie, fell asleep. Robin watched as his chest rose and fell and smiled. Her husband had such a big heart and while he still didn't let many people in, those who were lucky enough to be on the inside received everything he had to offer. He needed to fix things for the people that mattered to him and her only concern was the cost to him when he couldn't.

xxxxxx

In a fit of desperation Lulu called Brenda to help her get ready for her date with Ethan. By the time Brenda arrived at Wyndermere Lulu had emptied her entire closet on to her bed declaring that she had nothing to wear and therefore couldn't possibly keep her date with Ethan. After telling Brenda how she met him and where they were going for their date, Brenda set about sorting through her clothes and constructing several outfits to choose from. Finally deciding on a pair of green cords with a black ballet neck sweater and a black scarf, Brenda sat her down to her hair and make up. The end result was that Lulu still looked like herself but everything about her seemed brighter.

"Are you nervous?" Brenda asked, fussing with Lulu's hair.

"A little" she admitted, chewing on her lips.

Brenda gave her a playful slap. "You're going to chew off all the lip gloss."

"What if he doesn't like me?"

"Lu, he asked you out - I think we're passed the 'does he like me?' stage." Lulu twisted her fingers. "Ah." Brenda said catching on. "That's not what you're worried about?"

She nodded. "When do I tell him?"

Brenda sat down on the bed beside her and took her hand. "That's entirely up to you sweetpea. I would recommend that you tell him sooner rather than later so that he doesn't feel like you're trying to deceive him."

"He's going to run the minute I tell him" she said flatly.

"You don't know that" Brenda said. "Patrick didn't run, Jason didn't run."

"Yeah but how many men did before Robin met Patrick?"

Brenda squeezed her hand. "One step at a time Lulu. Get to know him a little bit and give him the chance to show you the type of man he is - he could surprise you."

"Yeah but..."

"No buts Lulu" Brenda said firmly. "You are a smart and beautiful girl and any guy would be lucky to have you around. HIV is a very small part of who you are, it isn't the sum total. If he can't understand that, if any man can't understand that then you kick them to the curb because that is not how a real man behaves."

"My stomach is doing flip flops."

"Well that's a good sign"

Lulu looked at her quizzically. "Since when is wanting to hurl a good sign?"

"It means you like him" Brenda looked at her watch. "Aack! We better get you going or you're going to be late." Pulling Lulu from the bed, the two women ran down the stairs and stopping only long enough to get their jackets, sprinted to the launch. Standing on the pier Brenda hugged her tightly. "You look amazing and you're going to knock his socks off."

"Thanks" Lulu said shyly.

"If you need any help or need to talk - call me."

She nodded and inhaled deeply. "Here goes nothing"

"Nuh-uh Lu - here goes Lulu Spencer, hottie."

Lulu grinned and hugging her one last time headed off the theatre. She saw Ethan leaning up against the wall, his eyes scanning the crowd for her. She stopped for a moment and just watched him. His black hair was spiky and the navy turtleneck sweater poking out of his pea coat only increased the intensity of his eyes. He really was a beautiful boy and her stomach flip flopped again as she wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

"Hi" she smiled brightly as she stood in front of him.

Ethan looked at her in surprise and straightened up. "Hi...hi" he stammered. "I wasn't sure you would show."

"Why not?" she asked, suddenly afraid that he knew her secret.

He shrugged. "My dad won his case, which means your friend is probably not in a good place right now."

Lulu pursed her lips together. "She's not. The judge's decision has ripped up a lot of people."

"I'm sorry" he said, jamming his hands into his coat pockets. "I understand if you don't want to go ahead with our date."

Lulu studied him carefully. "You said you don't work for your Dad."

"I don't. He's my Dad and I love him but I don't get involved in his work."

"Good - then let's go watch a movie" she smiled holding out her hand.

Ethan stared at her for a moment before happily taking hold of her hand. "I do have one confession to make before we go in."

"What's that?"

"I don't like popcorn unless I can share it" he said shyly.

"Hmmm" Lulu grinned. "I think I could get behind that."

"I think this has the makings of a great night Lesley Lu."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Lulu and Ethan walked along the pier holding hands. He had grabbed her hand as they ran across the street and hadn't let go of it since. Lulu rubbed her stomach as they walked, groaning slightly. Ethan had practicaly bought the entire snack bar to keep them fed during the double feature and they had both made quick work of the mountain of candy and popcorn.

"How's that peanut butter cup baby you're carrying?" he teased. It was warm enough for mid-January and the sky was blanketed with stars, lighting up the pier as they walked.

"Oouf!" Lulu exclaimed. "I think I'm having twins."

Ethan smiled and pulled her closer to him. "You are one cool chica Lulu."

"Chica?" she questioned. "Two Almodovar films and now you're fluent?"

"Just trying to impress you" he grinned. "Is it working?"

"So far so good" she nodded.

He stopped and looked out over the water. "I love the water" he said "It holds such possibility."

"That's my house over there" she said, pointing to the lights of Spoon Island.

Ethan did a double take as he peered out over the water. "Really? Are you yanking my chain?"

She shook her head. "Actually it's my brother's house. He lets me live with him and I help with my nephew and stuff."

"Wow" he said, suitably impressed.

"It's pretty cool, though it's a big house when I'm stuck alone in it."

"Where's your brother?"

"He left for Greece last night. He took Spencer, that's my nephew, with him. He needed to get out of town for a while."

"Ah." Ethan understood exactly why her brother had left town. "Well if you have any monsters under the bed you could always call me."

"Oh? And what exactly would you do?"

Ethan stepped closer to her, unable to stop smiling as he looked at her. Leaning in towards her, he hovered just above her lips. "I'd protect you of course."

"Really?" Lulu's voice trembled as she felt the heat from his breath on her face.

"Really" he said before swooping in and gently capturing her lips. Pulling away he slowly let go of her bottom lip.

Lulu stared at him in shock. "You...you kissed me" she said, fingering her lips.

He twisted his mouth into a grin. "I did. And I'd like to do it again - but perhaps somewhere warmer."

She shook the blissful fog from her head. "Ethan" she began nervously "I need to tell you something."

"Well hopefully it's about how handsome I am. But let's go get a drink so I can truly enjoy the moment." He closed her hand over hers and led her up the stairs towards Jake's. Lulu breathed in deeply hoping her courage wouldn't fail her once they were there.

The bar was full and Ethan led her through the crowd of people before finally finding a table. Lulu smiled as he pulled out her chair for her. "Kicking it old school?" she asked. He looked at her in confusion. "Pulling out the chair?"

"Oh" his cheeks flushed slightly. "It's just...my dad always said that you do that for a lady - I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't" she said reassuringly. "It was very nice."

He sat across from her and shrugged off his jacket, looking around trying to get the bartender's attention. Coleman spotted Lulu the minute she came in and watched as she took a seat. He made his way through the crowd to their table. Sizing up the guy with her he made a plan to stick closely to her. "Hey sweet stuff, how are you?"

"Hi Coleman - I'm good. Looks like things are hopping tonight."

"College kids and daddy's money - my two favourite things."

"Coleman, this is my friend Ethan - Ethan, this is Coleman - he owns the bar"

"Nice to meet you Coleman" Ethan said, curious that Lulu knew such a character.

"Yeah. Lulu is a friend of mine" he said pointedly. "She's a special guest here at Jake's and I keep an eye on my special guests."

Ethan nodded taking Coleman's point quite clearly. "Could I get a draft and a..." he looked at Lulu

"Cranberry and soda" she finished for him. Coleman winked at her and headed back to the bar.

"Do you come here a lot?" Ethan asked, reaching for her hand and playing with her fingers. Her stomach continued to flip flop.

She shrugged. "I did during the summer. Coleman is a friend of my dad's so he let me hang out here when I needed a place to chill." Coleman returned with their drinks and shot another look at Ethan before going back to the bar. Lulu leaned forward and taking a deep breath started again. "Ethan, there's something I need to tell you - I've never had..."

Ethan cut her off with another kiss. He teased her lips apart with his tongue and swept it quickly in her mouth before breaking away. "Sorry but you really do have the most kissable lips." Lulu flushed bright red.

"Oh Jesus - it's plague girl - back to spread more of your disease?"

Lulu felt a cold sweat trickle down her back and looking up, came face to face with George, the young man who had rejected her when she had told him about her HIV status. It had been the beginning of a long tumble down a slippery slope that ended with her suicide attempt. Seeing him brought a rush of feelings back. She licked her lips, trying to find her voice but only felt the bile rise in her throat.

Ethan looked from Lulu to George in confusion. "Excuse me? Do we know you?" he asked, holding tight to Lulu's hand even after she tried to pull it away.

George smirked. "No but I know little miss disease" he jerked his head in Lulu's direction. "Has she told you about her game?"

Ethan stood up and towered over George. "Look, dude - I don't know what you're talking about but I'm just trying to have a quiet night with my friend. If you could push off, I'd appreciate it."

"Dude, your friend has the plague - she's going to get you sick" Lulu stood with her jacket in her hands. She knew what was coming next and felt powerless to stop it. She was kicking herself for not telling him on any of their previous encounters because at least when he rejected her then, it wouldn't have been a public humiliation. She put her fingers to her lips again. It was unfortunate it was all coming to an end because she really liked the way he kissed her.

"I think you need to take a step back" he threatened. "I don't know what you're talking about but you better shut your fucking mouth."

George smirked. "Your friend is a little whore, she has HIV..." It was the last thing George said as Ethan plowed his fist into his face. Lulu's eyes filled with tears and she ran for the door. The music was pounding and she couldn't hear Ethan calling to her.

Lulu kept running until she reached the docks and sank to the bench, hot tears tumbling down her face. She couldn't believe there was ever going to be a moment when it wasn't like this - when she didn't have to fear someone's reaction to her. "Plague girl". "Little Miss Disease". She knew they were just words but they were said with such hate that it shook her to her core. She briefly wondered if it would be better if she moved away from Port Charles and started a new life somewhere else, reinvent herself.

"Lulu?"

She looked up in surprise. "Patrick?" she quickly wiped at her eyes trying to hide the evidence of the last few minutes.

He sat down beside her. "Lulu, what's wrong?"

"Nothing" she said brightly. "Just the cold getting to my eyes. I'm waiting for the launch - what brings you down to the pier?"

"I'm trying to wrap my head around a case and I thought a walk would be good for me." She nodded. "And I'm not buying that cold getting to your eyes bit. Why are you crying?"

Lulu blew out her cheeks. "I was on a date but it's ended rather badly."

"What?" he exclaimed, straightening up. "Who is this guy? Did he hurt you? Where is he?" Patrick frantically searched her face for any evidence of mistreatment.

"No - he was a real gentleman Patrick - pulled out my chair and everything."

"Then what happened?"

"George happened" she said flatly.

"George?" he asked, confused. "Who is George?"

She took a deep breath and told the story that she had only shared with one other person. Patrick listened attentively as he finally heard about the night that she tried to kill herself. Instinctively, his arm went around her and he pulled her towards him. He clenched and unclenched his fist several times as she repeated what happened in Jake's and how it ended with Ethan punching George. "But it doesn't matter" she sniffed.

"Why not?"

"Because now he knows - someone yelled it at him - and now that he knows, why would he want anything to do with me?"

The corner of Patrick's lips formed a small smiled. "Did I ever tell you about how I found out about Robin being HIV+?" She shook her head.

"Lulu?" Peering around Patrick, her mouth fell open as she saw Ethan standing next to the bench. He shifted nervously from one foot to another trying not to be jealous about the man who had his arm around her.

"Ethan, you didn't have to come out here, I'm fine."

"I'm not" he offered. "I think I may have broken my hand."

She smiled in spite of herself. "This is my friend, Patrick. He's a doctor."

Patrick sized him up and took it as a good sign that he came after her. Getting up from the bench, he reached for Ethan's hand. "Let me have a look at that."

Ethan let him examine his hand but kept looking at Lulu. "Are you okay?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. He winced as Patrick pressed down on the fleshy part of his hand. He looked at him. "Is it broken?"

"No - badly bruised but no break."

"Thanks" he said, trying to pull his hand away.

Patrick held on to it. "Lulu is really important to me" he said quietly. "If you're not man enough, walk away before her brothers and I feel the need to help you walk away." Ethan nodded. Patrick turned his attention back to Lulu. "Sweetie I have to get back to the hospital. Call me if you need anything - actually call me when you get home, I want to know you're okay."

She knew it was useless to protest and truthfully she liked that someone was concerned about her comings and goings. "I will. Thanks Patrick." He glared at Ethan one last time before leaving the docks.

Ethan slid beside her on the bench. "I haven't been in a bar fight in a long time" he said.

"Well I'm sorry it was over me" she said, moving away from him on the bench.

He turned sideways to face her. The hurt and fierceness in her eyes did not escape him and he wondered he much more attracted to her he could be. "I'm not" he said quietly. "That asshole was hateful."

Lulu pulled at her bottom lip. "That doesn't mean he was wrong. I do have HIV but I was going to tell you" she said quickly. "I was trying to tell you but you kept kissing me."

He shrugged. "I like kissing you."

"Don't you mean you liked kissing me - past tense?"

Shaking his head, he reached for her hand. She tried to pull away but he was too quick for her. "I'm not afraid of you having HIV Lulu. I like kissing you and I know you can't get it from kissing."

"Well I didn't get it from sex either - he said I was a whore but I'm not - I've never even had sex!" Lulu blushed madly as she realized what she had just said. "God! I'm an idiot!!"

Touched by her revelation, Ethan moved closer to her on the bench so that their knees brushed against each other. "You're not an idiot - you're gorgeous. And I don't care how you got it - it's a disease, not a punishment."

For the third time that night, her eyes filled with tears. "Why are you being so nice?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Ethan was genuinely taken aback by Lulu's question. "Lulu - that asshole is the exception, not the rule."

"There's lots you don't know about me." Her voice was small and she was having difficulty meeting his eyes.

"And there's lots you don't know about me but I'll tell you a few things I do know. Almost everyone I have met while with you has threatened to kill me if I don't treat you well which tells me that you have a lot of people who love you and I'm just beginning to find out why. I also know that you're funny and sweet and you can eat your weight in peanut butter cups." She giggled in spite of herself. "And I also know that I'd like to spend more time with you."

"Really?" she asked in surprise.

He nodded. "Really. This night has kind of been a bust but I do want to see you again - can we meet for breakfast at Kelly's on Sunday?"

She eyed him suspiciously, unsure if he was too good to be true. Deciding to take a leap, a smile slowly broke out on her face. "Okay."

Ethan grinned. "Okay? Great!! Can I take you home?"

"No - the launch is right there." She stood up. "Thanks for an...." she searched for an adjective.

"Fun? Interesting? Entertaining?" he offered.

"I'll go with interesting. Thanks for an interesting night Ethan." She smiled at turned to walk away but he pulled her back to him.

She looked at him in surprise as he brought his lips down on hers and slowly, tenderly, kissed her. Her knees buckled slightly as she pulled away. He stroked her face with his gloved hand. "I really, really like kissing you." He nipped at her lips once more. "Good night Lulu." He relcutantly let go of her hands as she headed to the launch and waited unitl he heard the boat pull from the pier.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Patrick ran his pen along the bottom of Ellie's foot but there was still no reaction. Testing the reflexes at both her knees and her elbows, his heart sank a little more. It had been six days since her surgery and if her paralysis were a result of post-operative swelling it would have reduced by now. It was with great difficulty that he met her parents' hopeful faces.

"There is still no change" he said solemnly. "We'll do another MRI this afternoon and see if we can't gather any more information."

Ellie's father crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Dr. Drake - there has to be some reason as to why she can't move. How many more tests are you going to run before you finally just admit that you made a mistake and did something wrong?" he accused.

Patrick bristled. "Mr. and Mrs. Matthews, I truly do not know what is causing the paralysis. If I knew for certain that I had made a mistake in the OR, I would admit it and work at rectifying it but I can't start on the solution until I know what the problem is."

"What do you mean what the problem is? Look at her" he pointed to his sedated daughter. "She is paralyzed - she can't walk, she can't run. The surgery and the chemo may stop the cancer but I think being a quadriplegic is too high a price to pay."

"Mr. Matthews, I understand your frustration...."

"Do you? Do you Dr. Drake? Do you have a child?"

He nodded. "I have an eight-month old son."

"Is he paralyzed?"

"No."

"Then with all due respect Dr. Drake, you don't have a clue about my frustration."

"Jim, please" Mrs. Matthews interceded. It was clear to her that the unexpected turn in Ellie's condition was affecting the young neurosurgeon.

"Don't Jim please me Theresa. I want our daughter fixed and if he can't fix her then we will find a doctor who will."

"A second opinion is entirely your right" Patrick offered. "I would be happy to supply you with a list of excellent neurologists who could consult on Ellie's case."

"Like I'm going to take suggestions from you" he sniffed. "You'll just find someone who will help cover your ass."

"Mr. Matthews..."

"Her current round of chemo is over in three days. After that I want her moved to Mercy and away from you."

Patrick nodded and silently left the room. He headed straight to his office and threw her chart across the room. "Dammit!!" he yelled. In the course of his fast-track career he had yet to encounter a problem that he couldn't find the solution for and like most brilliant people, his frustration level ran high when he couldn't resolve a situation he felt he should be able to. He rested his hands on his hips and blew out his cheeks.

"Someone is not having a good day"

Patrick jumped and turned around. Seeing Robin sitting in his chair brought a grin to his face. "Why Dr. Scorpio, your first day back at work and you're already playing hooky?"

She smiled seductively. "I need a consult but perhaps we should talk about your anger management?"

He shook his head and walked to his desk. "I like your idea better. Tell me more about this consult you need?" Watching her stand up from his chair, his mouth fell open as he realized she was wearing her lab coat, her black heels and nothing else. He swallowed thickly as she walked to his door and closed it, turning the lock. "So about this consult?" he asked, his eyes darkening as she undid the buttons to her coat, revealing her red silk panties.

"The patient has been feeling unwell for quite some time" she said, walking towards him, her hips swaying.

"Wha...what are the symptoms?"

"She has aches in parts of her body and no matter what she does to try and take them away she doesn't seem to be able to do it on her own."

Sitting on the corner of his desk, he shifted uncomfortably. "Sounds like the patient needs a thorough examination."

Dropping her lab coat to the floor she smiled as his breath hitched. Taking his hand she led him to the couch and reclined against it. "Do you want me to show you where it aches?" Too turned on to speak all he could do was nod.

Robin took her breasts in her hands and massaged them gently. "It aches here" she purred. Sliding one hand down her torso and cupping her sex she kept her eyes locked on his. "And here."

Patrick's tongue darted out of his mouth to moisten his suddenly dry lips. "I think I might be able to help you with that." Shrugging off his coat, he began to unbutton his shirt, untucking it from his pants.

"Do you have all the equipment?" she teased with her eyes gazing at his now obvious erection. Unwilling to play any longer, Patrick nearly threw himself on her, seizing her lips. He kissed her hungrily, his tongue sweeping through her mouth. Robin pressed her body against his as she fisted his hair. The feel of her breasts against his bare chest elicited a moan from both of them. She pushed his shirt from his shoulders, tracing her hands over them as he assaulted her neck. Pushing her hair out of the way, he sucked on her ear lobe, workign his tongue on the sensitive skin just underneath. Lifting her hips from the couch she ground them against him.

"God!" he hissed feeling his arousal expand. Moving down her body, he massaged one breasts while lashing the other with his tongue.

"Oooh Patrick" Robin sighed wanting him to take more of her. As his tongue worked her nipple she felt the heat continue to pool between her legs. Patrick felt her dampness through her panties brush up against him and sucked in a breath. Her hands flew to his belt buckle and quickly removed it. She worked her tiny hands over his button and carefully unzipped his pants. Running her hands over his cottong boxers, she smiled into his shoulder ."I'm not the only one that's wet" she said huskily.

Standing up, he let his pants drop and stepped out of them. Robin sat up and took hold of his waistband and slowly slid his boxers down his legs. "God Robin, I feel like a teenager" he said throwing his head back as her hand wrapped around him and she stroked his length.

She grinned. "You feel like all man to me baby."

He closed his eyes and removing her hand dropped to his knees. He kissed her between her legs, over her underwear while he ran his fingers along her inner thighs spreading her legs further apart. "You are so beautiful" he said against her skin. Pushing her panties to the side, he dipped his head and ran his tongue along the entrance to her swollen slit.

"Fuck Patrick!" she said breathlessly, squirming under his touch. He slid two fingers inside her, moving them around as she bucked against his hand. Pushing his palm against her clit, the pressure nearly sent her over the edge. "Inside me" she panted "now." Continuing to pump his hand inside of her, he picked up his pants with his free hand and gave them to her so she could get the condom from his wallet. Fishing his wallet from his pocket, Robin allowed herself a small smile as she saw that he carried nearly half a dozen condoms with him. They had learned early in their relationship that only having one condom available was not a good thing. Tearing open the foil packet she held it up.

"Ready to cure my ache Doctor?"

Rising to his feet, Patrick stood in front of her with his hands on his hips and his cock jutting forward. Wrapping her hand around the base, she kissed his glistening head before sheathing him. Kneeling on the couch, he positioned himself at the entrance to her slick passage while Robin tossed her legs over his shoulders. Plunging into her they both gasped at the contact. Though they had made love early that morning before Robin left for her shift, he still could not get enough of her. He thrust heavily against her while she captured his lips, their tongues dueling with each other. Robin's release came quickly as she stilled and then shuddered while Patrick swallowed her cries. Feeling her tighten around him Patrick let go and came hard before collapsing against her.  
Nuzzling his neck while they regained their breath, Robin let her legs slide from his shoulders. He nipped her lips several times before finally pulling out of her and gathering her in his arms. "Did I mention I like having you back at work?"

"I told you there would be benefits" she said sleepily. She laced her fingers through his. "Do you want to talk about what caused you to toss that chart across the room?"

He kissed her shoulder, breathing in her scent. "Ellie Matthews. Her parents are distraught and I have no answers."

"Have you asked your dad to look at the case?"

"No" he said quietly.

"Noah might have some advice" she said carefully. As close as the two Drake men had become over the last year, they were still fierce rivals in the professional arena and she knew that by going to him for an opinion Patrick would be forced to admit defeat on the case.

"I might" he said non-committally. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Well after I pick Rian up from daycare, I'm picking up Thai take out and Nathalie and Lulu are coming for dinner. I figured since you have to work until 9, it would give us a chance to do some girl talk. I still have to hear about this guy Lulu is dating."

"It'll be good for Nat to get out. She had the kids on the weekend and I didn't hear from her at all - I have no idea how that went."

"I'll do some gentle digging." Slowly extricating herself from his arms, Robin stood up and went to her clothes that were folded neatly on his chair. "I have to get back - ask your father for his opinion."

He smiled lazily as he watched her get dressed. He loved to watch her, memorizing how her breasts moved, how her hips swayed, the arch of her back. It was almost as if he was afraid he wouldn't get another chance to see her like that. "If I go see my dad, will I get another consult?"

Robin zipped up her skirt and leaning over, brushed her lips against his. "Yes - I think that could be arranged." Picking up her lab coat from the floor, she brushed the dust off before putting it back on. "I'll see you later tonight - I love you."

"Love you too" he said, sitting up and reaching for his boxers.

xxxx

Having spent another two hours reviewing Ellie's file, Patrick finally slammed it shut and decided that if he was going to get a second opinion, it might as well be his father's. Noah was off for the day but his apartment was a short ten minute walk from the hospital. Putting on his coat, he gathered up his files and headed off to see him.

As he climbed the five flights of stairs he reminded himself to suggest his father move to a building that had an elevator. Slightly winded, he stood outside the door and caught his breath. Ringing the bell, he nervously pulled on his coat collar.

"You better have brought back chocolate cake because I plan on eating the frosting right off of...." her voice stopped as she opened the door.

Patrick blinked several times and looked again at the apartment number thinking he was at the wrong place.

Dressed in nothing but one of Noah's scrub shirts, Brenda chewed her lip nervously. "Hi" she said in a small voice.

"Brenda?"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Brenda was suddenly aware that she was standing in her underwear and her boyfriend's shirt - in front of her boyfriend's son. "Hi Patrick" she said, in attempt at normalcy. "Did you want to come in? Noah will be back in a few minutes." She stepped out of the way.

Patrick continued to stare at her in disbelief. "Did you...did you....did you lose your pants?" he asked, stunned.

"Er, lost - no. I know where they are. Tell you what" she covered quickly. "why don't I go put them on while you come in - 'kay?"

He nodded mutely and closed the door behind him. It did not go unnoticed that Brenda walked to his father's bedroom to retrieve the lost pants. He stood rooted in place until she came back doing up her zipper. "Did you want to sit?" she asked.

"Are you..." he shook his head. "are you...um....are you with my dad?"

Brenda ran her hands through her hair and bit her lip. "Yes?" she replied, grimacing.

"How...how...did this happen and when did I become a stutterer?"

"Why don't you sit down?" she suggested again.

Patrick sank into the nearest chair, sneaking looks at this woman who had been spending time with his father. He had noticed a change in Noah over the last several months but had never thought to ask him what the cause was and now looking back at it was kicking himself for not realizing the change was because of a woman. "You're Robin's best friend.....you're my child's godmother."

"And soon to be your stepmother!" she teased. Seeing Patrick pale, she let him off the hook. "I'm kidding Patrick, I'm kidding."

He shook his arm out. "My arm is numb, I think I'm having a heart attack."

"You're not having a heart attack" she said dismissively.

"You're not a doctor!" He rubbed his arm trying to get the feeling to return.

"No but I am a drama queen and I recognize an act when I see one" she smiled. "So, uh, Robs never told you?"

"SHE KNOWS??" he exploded.

"Whoopsies" Brenda grinned.

He cradled his head in his hands. "Oh my god, I think my head's going to explode" he whispered.

"See that's funny" Brenda said, prompting an evil look from Patrick. "Robin thought your head would implode not explode."

"Please stop talking" he begged. Both turned their heads as they heard Noah's key in the door.

"Hey Legs" he called out "I got cake with extra frosting and I think I have a few ideas.....hi sport" Noah grinned as he came across his clearly uncomfortable son.

Patrick kept his head in hands. "Please make it stop, please make it stop" he repeated quietly.

Noah bit his lip to keep from laughing as he caught Brenda's eye. "You weren't wearing jeans when I left" he said, setting down the bag of food.

"No she wasn't!" Patrick jumped in. "She was wearing YOUR scrub top and well, that's all I saw."

Noah nodded. "So I suppose you have a few questions?" he ventured.

"Any chance Brenda has some head injury that you're treating her for?"

"Nope - she's very healthy." He winked at Brenda who was also clearly enjoying Patrick's discomfort.

"How...how long?"

Noah nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Since your wedding."

"WHAT?" he exploded again. Standing up, he began to pace. "You've...you both...since Australia? In Australia???"

"Haven't you heard that one of the wedding traditions is for the maid of honour to go off with the best man?" Brenda giggled.

"No!!" Patrick ran his hands through his hair, oblivious to their obvious glee in torturing him.

"What can I say sport? I have needs." Noah bit back his laughter.

"Oh hell no" Patrick said. "I need at least a drink if we are going to talk about your needs."

"I'm a sexual guy - where do you think you get it from?"

"Nuh-uh, no way - if we're going to talk about you being a 'sexual guy' I am going to need 3 no 4 oh hell, make it a half dozen drinks - all at once."

"Son, are you freaking out because I have a girlfriend or because my girlfriend is Brenda?"

"Yes" he said, still pacing. Brenda bit her fist to keep from laughing. He looked at his father and growled at his bemused expression. "Okay - look - goody for you, if anyone deserves to be happy or to have someone ....well....it's you but we need to set up a few ground rules."

"Ground rules?" Noah smirked.

"Yeah. Ground rules. For starters, no displays of affection around me - or Rian."

"But not Robin?" Brenda asked.

"Robin is clearly okay with this - for whatever reason I don't know. Rian and I don't need to be scarred."

"Are there other rules?" Noah stifled a laugh.

"I never, I mean neeeever want to hear you talk about your needs - ever again."

Noah looked at Brenda and winked. "I think we can live with those."

"Okay, I really need to leave"

"You have to get back to a patient?" Brenda asked.

"I'm afraid that if I stay in this love den any longer I will BE a patient and apparently you guys have cake." Patrick grabbed his coat and headed to the door. Noah followed closely behind. It was not lost on him amid all the silliness that his son had actually come to his apartment for a reason. As Patrick opened the door, Noah put his hand on his shoulder.

"Patrick?"

"Please don't talk about your needs" he repeated.

"Did you come by for a reason?" he asked quietly.

Pulled from his fog, Patrick pulled Ellie's chart from his bag. "Medulloblastoma in a 10 year old. I removed the tumor but six days post-op she still has paralysis and I can't figure out why. Do you....could you look at her chart and see if I missed anything or" he sighed "or if I messed up in the OR?"

Noah looked at his son in admiration. Though Patrick had taken a long time to develop his bedside manner, his commitment to his patients had always been there. He wanted to fix every patient and wouldn't rest until he did so. He paid a price every time he couldn't fix it and Noah realized he must be desperate if he was willing to ask him for his professional opinion. Not willing to give up is what made his son a great doctor.

"Sure" he said taking the chart from him. "I'll look at it tomorrow and we can discuss it."

"Thanks. And dad?"

"Yeah sport?"

"I'm still weirded out but I am happy for you."

Noah smiled. "That means a lot. Thanks."

Patrick walked down the hallway before pulling his phone from his coat pocket. He hit the speed dial. "Hey Lucky, it's Patrick - can you meet me at Jake's? I need to drink....a lot....."

xxxx

Robin kept a close eye on Nathalie as the three women tucked into their green curry chicken. Patrick had told her that he was sure Nathalie wasn't eating and asked that Robin do what she could to ensure that she did. There was a sadness about Nathalie that Robin understood. If her child was suddenly taken from her she wasn't sure that she would react any differently.

"How did it go on the weekend?" she asked her.

Nathalie smiled shyly. "Better than I thought it would. Grace seems to be willing to talk to me a little now - we even managed to have a meltdown-free Sunday."

"That's progress!" Lulu encouraged.

"I think so. I'm sorry I didn't invite any of you over to see the kids but I just wanted to spend the first weekend with them alone, you know, make sure they were adjusting."

"And are they?" Robin asked.

"Seems they are. Or at least they are adjusting better than me."

"Have you started any of the court ordered therapy?"

Reaching for a spring roll, she nodded. "I'm seeing Lainey."

"Is it helping?" Lulu asked quietly.

Nathalie's mouth twisted into a small smile. "Well, Lainey might be able to afford a beach house in the Hamptons by the time we're done. I'm certainly giving her a lot to work with." She licked the fish sauce running down her hand. "But enough about me" she grinned. "My sources tell me you had a date!"

"She had two" Robin corrected.

"Two??" Nathalie exclaimed. "I'm so out of the loop. Time to start dishing girlie."

Lulu blushed immediately. "It's no big deal."

"Patrick says he's good looking."

"Ooh Lu!" Nathalie teased. "Details - what's his name?"

"Ethan" she said shyly.

"Have you kissed?" Robin pried.

"Yes" her eyes sparkled. Nathalie tossed a spring roll at her and Lulu giggled. After more prompting, Lulu finally told them about their date at Jake's and how Ethan had reacted when he found about her HIV. The two women murmured their approval at Ethan punching George and coming after Lulu. Their breakfast date had been low key but had resulted in more kissing.

"Lu, I saw you yesterday and you never told me any of this." Nathalie asked.

The young girl twisted her hair around her finger. There was a part of her that felt disloyal for finding happiness when both her brother and her friend were so unhappy. That her happiness was linked to the son of the man who beat Nathalie in court only compounded her guilt. "You know his father" she said nervously.

"I do?" she asked in surprise.

She nodded. "His name is Ethan Young - his dad was your parents' lawyer."

Robin closed her eyes and let out a silent wish that no matter how hurt Nathalie was by the hateful things her parents had done that she wouldn't ruin this for Lulu. Nathalie tilted her head and looked at Lulu. "Is that why you didn't tell me?"

She nodded. "I didn't want you to think I was being disloyal."

Nathalie pulled her chair beside Lulu's and took her hand. "Lulu" she said softly. "Who better than me knows that children are not their parents? And Ethan's dad is not my dad. That was job for him and I bear him no ill will. And furthermore, you have become like a little sister to me and if this boy is responsible for the goofy grin on your face then how can I possibly take any issue with that?"

Lulu threw her arms around her. "Thanks"

Nathalie wiped at her eyes. "So is he a good kisser?"

Lulu scrunched up her face. "Well I don't have a lot to base it on but I would say yes." Her cheeks flushed red again.

"Did he use tongue?"

"ROBIN!" Lulu said in shock.

"What?" she turned to Nathalie "Tongue is important, isn't it?"

"Tongue is very important" Nathalie agreed. "So, did he?"

Lulu covered her face with her hands. "I think I'm going to die of embarrassment."

"Not possible, I've tried and you simply cannot die of embarrassment" Nathalie teased.

"Medical impossibility" Robin concurred.

"So when do we get to meet him?" Nathalie asked.

Lulu giggled. There was something enjoyable about the third degree she was receiving from her friends. Ethan had told her on their first date that given the number of threats he had received that she was obviously loved and Lulu knew it to be true. Love and support may not always come from who you want it to but it does come from who you need it to. Sitting around the table with these women, Lulu felt a part of something - a sisterhood even - and those twinges of desperation that had driven her to darkness during the summer seemed nothing but a distant memory now.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Having finished their dinner, the women moved to the living room and sat in front of the fire, sipping on mulled wine. They had laughed loudly and often and all three were lighter in spirit for it.

"Okay, I have a question" Lulu announced.

"Does it involve Ethan's tongue?" Robin asked and Nathalie giggled.

"Is there any chance you guys are going to let go of Ethan's tongue?"

"Is there any chance you are?" Nathalie grinned.

Lulu shook her head, smiling. "I'm trying to ask a serious question here."

Robin looked at Nathalie. "Nat - grown up faces - she has a serious question."

Nathalie wiped all traces of laughter from her face. "Right. Okay, Lesley Lu - what's your question?"

Taking a big sip of her wine, she exhaled slowly. "It's about sex."

Robin looked at her thoughtfully. "What about sex, Lu?"

Slightly embarrassed by the frankness of their conversation, Lulu looked at the ground. "How do you....how do you know when you should have it - and how do you know" she looked at Robin "that you won't pass it on?"

"Lulu, have you ever had sex?" Nathalie asked quietly.

Lulu shook her head. "I am the world's oldest virgin."

"18 hardly makes you an old virgin and I hate to sound mommy-like here but there's no rush."

Robin nodded in agreement. "Nathalie's right - this isn't something to rush in to."

Lulu rolled her eyes. "Why because my virginity is precious?"

Both women grinned. "No Lulu - but you are precious and you shouldn't embark on a physical relationship until you're ready" Nathalie continued "Sex can be an absolutely amazing extension of a loving relationship but it won't create a loving relationship where there is none. It can be really, really satisfying and hot but you can still be left feeling pretty empty at the end if there isn't more and you wish there was."

"Is that what happened to you?" she asked. "Oh god, I don't mean...."

Nathalie shook her head. "It's fine. Lulu when I was your age, I was so desperate for someone, anyone to love me that I would fall into bed with anyone who would offer in the hopes that it meant more than it was. I have loved two men in my life and believe me when I tell you, sex with someone you love is different than sex with someone you don't."

Lulu pulled at her bottom lip. "Is my brother one of the two?"

Nathalie turned her head to the side and looked at the ground, willing the tears away. She missed Nikolas terribly and had called him several times but hung up as soon as she heard his voice. "Yes" she said hoarsely.

"Do you still love him?"

"Very much Lulu."

"Then what are you doing?" she asked plaintively. "He loves you Nathalie - he's off in Greece because he thinks somehow it's going to hurt less there but if you love him and he loves you, what are you doing?"

Nathalie shrugged. "I'll only hurt him and that's not fair - he deserves more than that."

"What about what you deserve?" Robin started. "You make him really happy. I've known Nikolas a long time and I've never seen him fall for someone the way he has for you. You guys can get through anything if you trust him enough."

Nathalie blew out her cheeks. "I just.....can we go back to Lulu's sex questions?"

"Sure." Robin said, smiling sympathetically.

"How do you....were you afraid that you'd pass it on?"

Robin nodded. "Yes - I wish it could tell you that you get to a point where you don't worry about it but it will always be in the back of your mind. When I first found out I was pregnant with Rian and it meant that Patrick had been exposed, I was sick about it. Thankfully he's fine but it's a big burden to carry. That being said, if you take the right precautions, with your nearly undetectable viral load, the chances of you infecting someone else are very small. You need to make sure that Ethan is aware of the risks and the protection needed."

"Who said it was Ethan?" she asked, trying to cover.

"Right - no names, we'll just go with your partner." Robin grinned. "It's not the sexiest conversation you can ever have with a partner but it is the most important one. You don't want him being full of regret afterwards or taking that regret out on you."

"Did that happen to you?"

"A few times." Robin's voice was quiet as she reflected on some truly horrendous dates she had been on in Paris. "Even here when Patrick and I broke up and I went out with Bruce - he looked at the protection as a burden and didn't want to talk about it. But Patrick was always open and that made all the difference. Is Ethan pressuring you at all?"

Lulu shook her head quickly. "No - he's not like that at all - I just....he's hot" Nathalie and Robin laughed. "I mean seriously hot and when he kisses me - my knees go to jelly."

"Oh yeah" Robin said.

"I love that feeling" Nathalie added.

"So how will I know when I'm ready?"

"You just will" Robin said. "I know it sounds stupid but it will be clear to you that he is the right person and it's the right time."

xxxxx

Lucky walked into Jake's and saw Patrick leaning against the bar, sipping on a beer. Judging by the group of bottles in front of him it was clear he had a substantial head start. Joining him at the bar, he clapped him on the shoulder. "What's shaking?"

"You don't even want to know" Patrick grumbled, draining his beer.

"Did you have a fight with Robin? Because if you did I've always found a heartfelt apology and some flowers go a lot further than a hangover." He signaled to Coleman who promptly placed a beer in front of him.

"Not Robin" Patrick said, starting on his fourth beer. "And you better start double fisting it so you can catch up." Patrick let out a heavy sigh. "My dad has a girlfriend."

"What?" Lucky asked in surprise. "That's great - isn't that great?"

"It's Brenda" he said flatly.

"Brenda Barette? Wow! Lucky Noah - I'd hit th..." taking in Patrick's murderous expression, he changed tactics. "I mean -ewww - Brenda- she's hideous why would anyone want to date her."

"She's my wife's best friend."

"Yes. And dude, she's hot."

"My wife is hotter."

"Yes" Lucky agreed cautiously. "But she's also taken and so Noah obviously went for the next best thing."

"She was wearing his shirt and talking about frosting and then my dad started talking about his needs." Patrick shook his head. "Honestly Lucky - I may need a standing appointment with Lainey after this."

Lucky polished off his first beer and started on his second. "Is it really so bad?"

Patrick nodded. "How would you feel if your father was dating someone that you would consider as potential if you were single?"

"I would be saying 'go dad!'"

"You're full of shit."

Lucky laughed, nodding. "I really am. Wanna play some pool?"

"My father is having regular sex with a hot woman." Patrick's voice was almost wondrous in tone.

"Would rather he have irregular sex with an ugly woman?"

"I don't want think about him having sex."

"Then don't - let's go over there so I can kick your ass at pool." Patrick followed Lucky to the pool table. "She was wearing his shirt" he mumbled as they arrived at the table. Lucky racked up the balls and broke first as Patrick continued to stare into space. "Earth to Patrick??"

"Huh?" he asked, pulling himself from the fog.

"Your turn - hey - maybe we could play for money?"

"I'm not that stunned Spencer." Patrick was about to take his shot when he noticed a familiar figure walk in the bar. "Hey Lucky"

"Yeah?"

"That guy at the bar - he's dating your sister."

Lucky looked up in surprise. "He is? Lulu's dating? Why is it when I ask her she tells me nothing? Let's go rough him up."

Patrick chuckled. "Now who's overreacting?"

"Dude, he's dating my SISTER."

"He's a good guy." Patrick said seriously. "He found out about her HIV and he was okay about it - really stand up about it."

Lucky leaned against the pool table, his back to the bar. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Patrick stood up and leaned beside him.

"Why...how...why didn't Robin having HIV bother you?"

Patrick exhaled. "I can't quite explain it but part of it is that I'm a doctor and I understand HIV - though I didn't understand it as well as I thought I did when I first met Robin. And I guess I was just hugely attracted to her and her having HIV is only a small part of who she is. The case could be made she was more courageous for taking me on with my fear of commitment than I was for taking her on with HIV."

"Are you ever worried that you'll get it?"

Patrick shook his head. "No" he said simply. "Lucky, I work in a hospital where I'm exposed to all kinds of illness. I have as much chance of contracting something there as I do from Robin."

"I worry about my sister" Lucky said. "Nikolas and I both are worried that she'll get rejected or treated badly. Lulu is special Patrick, she's got my mom's spirit and she can be crushed so easily."

"She's also strong Lucky. She reminds me a lot of Robin. The right guy will find her and will love her because of her spirit and her courage and the HIV will be a detail."

"I hope so" Lucky drained his beer.

Patrick watched him as he lined up his shot. He had never examined his worries or lack thereof where Robin's HIV status was concerned. The only times it ever really concerned him was when she was sick. The epidemic and the car accident shook him terribly and forced him to come face to face with her mortality but beyond that he never worried. He wondered if that made him unusual or short sighted but he couldn't conceive of being without Robin just because she had HIV. His thoughts were interrupted by a scuffle at the bar. Looking up, he saw Ethan being pushed around by three men. Nudging Lucky, they walked towards the bar.

"Something going on here?" Lucky asked breaking them apart. Ethan looked up in surprise when he saw Patrick and another man approach.

"No" George said. "We're just getting something straight with our friend. You guys can be on your way."

Patrick sized up the situation and understood immediately that this was a continuation from the night he found Lulu on the docks. "Ethan - which one is he?" Ethan nodded his head in George's direction. "Hey Lucky?"

"Yeah?"

"That guy whose arm you have a hold of - he talked some shit about Lulu."

Lucky's eyes narrowed. "My sister? You've been saying stuff about my sister?"

"Your sister is plague girl?" George scoffed. "You have it too?" It was the last thing George said as Lucky pounded his fist into George's face. Patrick grabbed hold of George's friend who tried to pull Lucky off. Ethan entered the melee and a full scale brawl was underway. It went on for several minutes with Lucky and Patrick giving as good as they got before Coleman finally succeeded in breaking it up.

Coleman banned George and his friends from his bar threatening them with trespassing if they ever came back. Ducking into the kitchen, he returned with ice packs for the three men and poured them each a beer. "I've called your wives" he said, putting the beers up on the bar.

"What?" Lucky and Patrick exclaimed at the same time.

"Well, as noble as you guys are, you can't get away with wrecking my bar. Besides, I've met your wives, whatever grief they will give you will be so much worse than what I could do."

"Why are you punishing us?" Patrick groused.

"Dude, have you seen my bar?" Coleman swept his arms over the broken glass, the overturned tables and the cracked pool cue.

"Fine" he grumbled, putting the ice pack on his swelling eye. "Lucky - Ethan - Ethan this is Lulu's brother, Lucky."

"Hi" Ethan nodded, his hands wrapped in ice.

Lucky nodded. "I'm a cop, I have a gun, be mean to my sister and I will hurt you. Nice to meet you."

Ethan swallowed hard. "Um yeah. You too - I should go. Bye" he said, leaving the bar as quickly as he could.

Patrick looked at Lucky. "Dude, you were just in a fight with him, you couldn't cut him some slack?"

"He's dating my sister, he needs to fear me."

"Patrick Drake!"

"Oh god, Lucky - I'm drunk so I won't remember saying this but I'm afraid of my wife" he said quickly as Robin approached.

"Me too - I mean, I'm afraid of my wife" Lucky said.

Robin stood in front of both of them, shaking her head. "What are you guys, 18 again? A bar fight? Patrick look at your face - you can't go to work like that!!"

"But I was being noble - Coleman said so."

Robin held out her hand. "Let's go warrior king."

Patrick shrugged. "Thanks for a fun night Lucky." Lucky waved, pressing the ice pack to his jaw.

As they walked into the cool night air Robin shook her head. "A bar fight Patrick?"

"The guy was hassling Lu's boyfriend and turns out he was the jerk who ...you know...."

Robin smiled and kissed his hand. "You really were being noble."

"Does this mean I get a reward?"

"We'll see" she teased. They walked along the pier, teasing and joking, oblivious to the shadowy figure following them. He snapped several photos before disappearing into the night.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The sunlight beat down on his face and he could no longer ignore that morning had come. Patrick groaned as he pried his eyes open. Realizing one eye was opening further than the other, he brought his hand to his face and gently touched the swollen skin around his eye, prompting another groan.

"Good morning slugger" Robin said brightly.

Patrick closed his eyes against the glare. His head pounded and he had a vague recollection of six beers - or was it seven? "Could you please just kill me now?" he whined.

"What? And miss the day of mocking I'm going to enjoy? I don't think so."

"I'm a man in pain - where is your sympathy?"

Robin pressed her lips against his shoulder. "Well I have some sympathy since you came to Lulu's defense in a bar fight but why were you so drunk to begin with?"

"Hmmm?" Patrick asked. And then it all came flooding back - the picture of Brenda is his father's shirt, Noah talking about his needs and Brenda spilling that Robin already knew. His eyes flew open and he sat up quickly, a move he regretted instantly as he flopped back against his pillows. "You and I have a problem" he griped.

Lying on her side and propped up on her hand Robin grinned. "We do? You mean other than the fact that you fight like a girl?"

"Hey!" he protested. "How would you know I fight like a girl?"

"Call it an educated guess. Okay, so what is our problem?"

"I saw my father last night."

"And? Are you sure you don't have a concussion because I'm not following."

Patrick rolled to his side and faced Robin. The duvet lay nestled against her waist exposing her breasts, Patrick couldn't resist reaching out and stroking them. Robin closed her eyes, letting out a soft moan as his fingertips made contact. "My father wasn't home when I got there but Brenda was."

Robin opened her eyes and bit her lip as she looked at Patrick. "Oh? Was she visiting?" Patrick pinched her nipple. "Oww!" she said swatting his hand, smiling

"You know damn well she wasn't visiting. How long have you known they were dating?"

"Not that long." Robin pressed her palm against his cheek. "Nathalie and I suspected for a while but Brenda only came clean a few days ago."

"Nat? Nat knows?" he asked in surprise.

"Woman's intuition. Are you really freaked?"

Patrick exhaled. In the bright light of the morning, he was surprisingly calm about it all. He was pleased to see his father take a chance and knowing Brenda made it easier for him to accept. "Not really - it was a shock but if my dad's happy who am I to judge?"

"Wow" Robin grinned. "That's a very grown up approach."  
Patrick palmed her breast, letting his fingers graze over her hardening nipple. "What can I say Scorpio-Drake? You're rubbing off on me."

"Actually you're rubbing off on me at the moment" she said huskily. Patrick leaned in and brought his lips to hers, running his tongue along her bottom lip. Robin shifted closer to him, tracing her fingers along his collar bone. Dragging his hand down her side, Patrick began to massage the globes of her ass but was interrupted by a crying Rian. They both groaned and rolled onto their backs. "I'll go" Robin said, reaching for her robe. Slipping into the navy silk, she padded to Rian's room. Patrick smiled as he heard her talking to Rian and him being very vocal with his baby talk. First words were not far now. Taking him from his crib, she came back to the bedroom and handed him to Patrick while she climbed back in to bed.

"Good morning little man" Patrick said, taking Rian's fingers in his own while Rian gurgled and laughed. A happy baby, he rarely cried and was a good sleeper. Both Robin and Patrick knew how fortunate they were.

"I've been thinking" Robin said quietly.

"Uh-oh Rian, nothing good ever comes from your mom saying 'I've been thinking'."

"Smartass" Robin swatted him.

Patrick covered Rian's ears. "Language Momma."

Rolling her eyes, she started again. "I've been thinking about our talk - about having another baby."

Patrick looked up in surprise. They had discussed it on Christmas Eve but hadn't broached the subject since. While Robin had agreed that she wanted another child, Patrick waited for her to return to the subject. He knew that she had some fears and concerns about it both related to her career as well as her health. There was little he could do to assuage her on either front and waiting to take his lead from her. "Oh?"

"I think maybe we should make some appointments with Kelly and Dr. Maida and see what our options are. I don't want to be pregnant right away but if we were to be pregnant by early spring that would work. It would give me nearly a full year at work, I could get some of my trials out of the way and then be ready for our next little one."

Patrick's heart filled with joy and he had difficulty keeping tears from his eyes. "Are you sure?" She nodded, smiling. "Oh Robin - that makes me so happy!" There was no mistaking the look of love in his eyes. Holding Rian, he leaned in and captured her lips, slowly pulling away. "You know, I love you more every day."

Robin kissed him back. "But we still get to practice baby making, right?"

"Damn straight." Robin snuggled in against the two of them as Patrick's arm went around her. She rested her head on his shoulder. It had taken her several weeks of reviewing her work schedule and doing some preliminary research before she was willing to talk again about having another baby. She also wanted to give Patrick the opportunity to back out in case his suggestion had been prompted by Christmas more than an actual desire to have another child. Realizing that he was serious, Robin set about making firmer plans for the future of their family.

Their quiet family moment was interrupted by the shrill ring of the telephone. Patrick reached for the receiver. "Drake."

"Patrick, it's your dad - I've been reviewing the Matthews case and I think I may have found a few things of interest."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'd like to get your take on it because maybe I'm not seeing things clearly - do you think you could come in today?"

He smiled involuntarily. The idea that there could still be a positive resolution to Ellie's case excited him. "Give me an hour, I'll be there."

Robin watched as he hung up the phone. "Was that Brenda asking you to call her stepmommy?"

"You're an evil woman and I'm not sure why I married you" he teased. "My dad thinks he found something on Ellie's case so I'm going to go meet with him."

"Patrick - that's great news!"

He nodded. "I hope so." He passed Rian back to her. "I have to go shower. I promise I won't be too long and we can spend the rest of the day together."

"Go!" she encouraged. "Rian and I will go for a walk and have some lunch and then when you're home we can play in the backyard."

Patrick kissed her one more time before hopping out of the bed. "I know exactly why I married you" he said quietly against her skin.

xxxxx

Noah was staring so intently at the films on the light box that he didn't hear Patrick knock at his door. Patrick watched him for a moment. Prior to coming to Port Charles he had never had the opportunity to work with him and though he knew his father's reputation both good and bad, to see him in action, to see the way he applied the years of experience to every case, was moving. Patrick was an instinctual surgeon who relied on intellect and arrogance but his father was a seasoned practitioner who knew the questions to ask which was as important as knowing the answers.

"Hey Dad." He leaned against the door, his hands jammed in his jeans pockets. The dark green turtleneck sweater only highlighted the bruising around his eye and he had refused Robin's offer of make up to cover it up.

Noah noticed the bruise right away. "Do I want to know?"

"Not really" he said coming in and sitting across from him. "So what did you find - was it me?"

He shook his head. "It's not you son. Look here" he pointed the smallest of shadows on her MRI. "It's a piece of tumor pressing on her cord."

Patrick looked in amazement. "How did I miss that?"

"My guess is it was difficult to see when you had her on the table and it just looks like a shadow here."

"How did you see it?" he asked in amazement.

"Well when you look at one MRI it looks like a shadow but when you put the four MRIs up on top of each other you realize it would be a near impossibility to have the same shadow appear four different times."

He leaned back in the chair and exhaled. "We can get it - we can go in and get it."

"Easy sport" Noah cautioned. "Before we subject that girl to another surgery I think we should try some radiation therapy and see if that has any effect. There is no way the chemo is going to touch that but radiation could do the trick."

"Wow. I studied her chart for almost a week and could find nothing. You have it less than 12 hours and you solve it."

Noah shrugged. "Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can see things you miss. Would you like me to come with you to talk to the parents?"

Patrick nodded. "Her father doesn't trust me very much and I think seeing a...wiser colleague at my side might give me some much needed credibility."

His father smiled. "Then let's go give the parents some marginally good news."

The two men got up and headed to Ellie's room. Just before entering, Patrick touched his father's arm. "Dad - thanks for this."

"It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help Patrick - we all need it."

*********

It had been a long but satisfying week for Robin as she finally felt that she was regaining traction at work. She had had her first appointments with both Kelly and Dr. Maida and as they discussed the options, she was becoming more excited at the prospect of a second child. Patrick's mood had lifted considerably after Noah found the cause of Ellie's paralysis and he was keeping a diligent eye on her progress. In the process of measuring out compound, she was surprised to hear a knock at her lab door.

"Nathalie - this is a surprise." She put down her materials and took her goggles off, surprised to see her friend and daughter in her lab. "Hi Gracie-lou"

"Hi Robin" Grace replied quietly.

"I am so sorry to bother you here but I wanted to have a chat with you before hitting the panic button."

"Of course - come on in."

Nathalie put Grace down and she immediately ran to Robin to hug her. In crossing the short distance to Robin's open arms, she began to wheeze. Robin caught Nathalie's eye and raise her eyebrows. Nathalie nodded. Robin scooped her up and hugged her tightly. "What's new monkey?" she said lightly.

"Mommy and me and Oliver built a fort in the backyard."

"That must have been fun. Are you having a good visit with mommy?"

"Yeah. Is Patty here?" she asked looking around Robin's lab.

Robin smiled. "He's working in a different part of the hospital." Robin carried her over to the couches and sat down. Nathalie followed and sat across from Robin while Grace sat on the floor. Her mother took out a book from her bag and gave it to her to read. "What's going on?"

"She's lethargic, I can't get her out of bed in the morning. She's had a low grade fever since Thursday night when my parents dropped her off and she's got bruises all over her legs."

"You don't think she's being abused do you?" Robin asked in concern.

"No" she shook her head. "My parents have many faults but that isn't something they would do. You saw how she wheezed when she ran to you? She got really short of breath while we were playing outside. Robin, Grace has always been a healthy child and if it were just one symptom I wouldn't be worried but this is a significant change in her health. I was wondering if you had any ideas?"

Robin listened carefully and weighed what Nathalie told her. Even as a doctor she found herself overreacting to every sniffle the Rian got but Grace's symptoms were much more than a sniffle. "Well, why don't I listen to her chest and we can draw some blood and that will probably give us an idea of what we're dealing with."

"I don't mean to impose on you...."

Robin raised her hands. "It's no imposition. Why don't you guys get comfy here - I'll get my colleague Epiphany to come and take blood and I'll oversee the testing - it won't take long to get the results. A few hours tops."

Nathalie sighed in relief. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

She smiled as she walked to the phone. "It's no problem."

Nathalie sank to the floor and pulled Grace into her lap and read her book to her. Epiphany came to take blood and Grace barely cried as the needle pricked her skin.

"Well aren't you a tough little thing" Epiphany said kindly. "That must be why Patrick likes you so much."

"Patrick is my buddy - I was going to marry him but he married Robin"

"That's okay Grace" Epiphany said "I hear he leaves his socks all over the floor - no one wants that." Robin stifled a giggle as the nurse handed her the four vials of blood. Applying a Tigger band aid, she couldn't resist giving the young girl a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving. "Bye Grace"

"Bye 'Pifney" she waved.

Robin smiled kindly at both of them. "Why don't you guys grab something to eat at the cafeteria and I'll come find you in an hour or so and we'll see what the tests tell us."

"Okay. Thank you so much Robin." Nathalie picked up Grace, the young girl too tired to walk. "We'll see you soon."

"Bye Robin!" Grace waved.

Robin waved back and once they were out of sight ran down the four flights of stairs to the blood lab and calling in a favour put a rush on the results. Nearly pacing a hole in the carpet, she tore open the envelope when they finally handed it to her an hour later. Scanning the sheet quickly, she exhaled and closed her eyes at the results. After checking with the technician that there was no mistake, she folded the paper and stuck it in her pocket. Taking the elevator back up the four floors, she walked to Patrick's office and knocked gently at the door.

Patrick grinned as he saw her. "Why Dr. Scorpio-Drake, I think you are a little overdressed for a consult." Getting no reaction from her, Patrick became suddenly serious. "What's wrong? Is it Rian? Is it any of our parents?"

Closing the door behind her, Robin shook her head and sat on the corner of his desk. "Nathalie and Grace came to see me." She could already see the panic grip his face. "Gracie hasn't been feeling well for the last few days and so I offered to run some tests."

"And?" he asked cautiously. Robin grimaced as she reached into her lab coat pocket and passed him the folded piece of paper. Patrick took it and looked at her, trying to read her face before unfolding it. He read it once and looked off to the side before reading it a second time. His hands shook as he held the paper in front of him.

"Are you sure?" he asked in a strangled voice. She nodded and reached for his hand. "Have you.." he swallowed thickly. "Have you told them?"

"No - I didn't know if you wanted to come with me or not. I can do it on my own but I wanted to give you the choice."

"Do those choices include not telling Nathalie that her daughter has leukemia?"

"I'm sorry baby."

Patrick closed his eyes and released a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Where are they?"

"Cafeteria."

He stood up and ran his hands through his hair. He held out his hand. "Let's go."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Robin walked along side Patrick as they made their way to the cafeteria. He had said nothing since leaving his office but she could tell by the way his brow furrowed and the muscle in his cheek twitched that he was still processing the news. Giving difficult or bad news to patients was nothing new to them but it was the first time involving someone so close.

Patrick stopped in the entrance to the cafeteria, his eyes searching out Nathalie and Grace. He found them and smiled involuntarily. Grace was leaning on the table drawing and talking while Nathalie watched her every move as she coloured with her. He wanted one last moment to memorize both of them before they dropped this burden on them. Robin gave his hand a small squeeze and he let out a long slow breath before approaching their table. Grace noticed him immediately and scrambled down from her chair, running towards him.

"Patty! Patty! Patty-lou!" She was winded by the time he scooped her up in his arms and Patrick could do nothing but hold her tight.

"Hi Gracie-lou – who loves you?" He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"You! You love me" she giggled.

He kissed her cheek. "You bet your sneakers I do."

"I love you too Patty."

Robin saw the look of pain that flashed across his face. "Why don't we sit down with your mom Gracie?" Robin suggested, afraid Patrick would just stand where he was holding her unless someone told him what to do next.

Nathalie looked between them as they sat down, Grace firmly ensconced on Patrick's lap, and a look of recognition passed over her. "Wow. Both of you. It must be serious."  
Patrick opened his mouth to speak but couldn't make the words come out. Robin quietly put a hand on his leg and started. "We ran her blood work twice…"

Nathalie closed her eyes and fingered the N hanging from the chain around her neck. Nikolas had given it to her as a birthday gift and while he told her the N stood for Nathalie, for her it stood for Nikolas and she desperately wished he was with her. Opening her eyes she steeled herself for the news she already knew. "What did you find?"

"Leukemia" Robin said quickly, pulling the band aid off.

She nodded and smiled sadly. She watched her daughter pulling Patrick's pens from his coat pocket and using them on her drawing, oblivious to her new reality.

"What kind?"

Robin looked at Patrick. He stared at Gracie, stroking her hair and unable to speak. "Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia – it's the most common leukemia in children."

"What are the next steps?" Nathalie was numb but then she had been for quite some time since Andrew died. Loving Nikolas had been the only break in the numbness but she had turned her back on that and didn't know how to go back.

"We need to get Gracie in to see an oncologist as soon as possible – today would not be too soon. Then he'll determine the course of treatment but I imagine whatever it is, it will begin almost immediately."

"Okay" she nodded. "Do you have any recommendations for doctors?"

"Well Dr. Garcia is one of the best pediatric oncologists in the state and he's on staff here. Noah is good friends with him, I'm sure with a phone call Grace could get in to see him."

"That would be great – I appreciate that."

Robin reached out and took Nathalie's hand. "There is a high survival rate and Grace will get the best care we can provide."

Nathalie smiled and squeezed Robin's hand. "We are very lucky to have friends like you. Should I give Noah a call?"

Robin looked between Patrick and Nathalie and wasn't sure whose reaction was more upsetting – Nathalie, who seemed to be taking it all in stride, talking about next steps or Patrick , who had apparently lost his voice. Neither were good and she worried about who would crack first. "I think Patrick can call Noah – right Patrick?"

"Pardon?" he looked up from Grace, stunned.

Robin touched his arm. "Do you think you could call Noah and ask him to have Dr. Garcia see Grace today?"

"Oh. Yeah –sure – why don't I do that now?" He kissed the top of Grace's head.

"Are you leaving Patty?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Just for a few minutes pumpkin and then I'll be back. You know, I have some free time this afternoon – we could go hang out in the playroom if you'd like."  
Grace, suddenly aware that they weren't leaving the hospital, looked at her mother. "Are we staying?"

Nathalie inhaled sharply and prayed for her voice to be steady. "Yes sweetheart we are. We have to see another doctor – he's going to take a look at you and see what we can do about all those bruises and how tired you are."

The young girl shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. "Can I go to the playroom with Patty?"

She grinned. "Of course you can baby girl. You can show P how good you are at puzzles."

Patrick stood up and put Grace in his seat. "I'm going to make a phone call and I'll be back shortly." He couldn't meet either woman's gaze before leaving. Walking quickly from the cafeteria, he stopped on the other side of the door and bent over, his hands on his knees. On the verge of hyperventilating, he took several deep breaths to ward it off. He knew he needed to get a grip if he was going to support Nathalie and Grace through this. Rationally, he knew it wasn't about him, this wasn't happening to him but emotionally, it felt intensely personal, as though it was his own child who had just been diagnosed with cancer.

He thought back to the night Grace was born. He had been in DC for a week waiting for Nathalie to go in to labour. Telling him how important he was to both of them, Drew and Nathalie had asked him to join them in the delivery room for the birth. Nathalie had also joked that with two men in there she bettered her odds that at least one of them wouldn't pass out. Her husband had been too squeamish to watch and instead concentrated on coaching his wife with her breathing. That left Patrick to be with the doctor and cut the cord as Grace was born.

It had been an intense but fast labour and Patrick remembered his heart racing as Grace's head poked through. She had thick thatch of black hair and cried almost immediately. He watched as she took her first breath and her eyes fluttered open and he instantly fell in love. Now four years later, he loved her more than he did on that day. She was the embodiment of both of her parents and represented the pure goodness that can come from love. They were his family when he had none and Grace loved him unconditionally when he needed it most. Gathering his strength, he walked to his father's office.

Noah, on his way back to his office, noticed his son pacing in front of his door. "Hey sport" he called to him.

"Dad." His voice shook and the colour drained from his face.

Noah took him by the elbow and steered him into his office. "Is it Robin? Rian?"

Patrick shook his head, trying to control the tears that threatened to spill. "It's Grace."  
His father sighed and leaned back in his chair. "What's wrong?"

"Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. Any chance you can call Dr. Garcia and ask him to see her today?"

Noah reached for the phone before Patrick finished his sentence. "Juan? It's Noah…..I'm good thanks….listen, I have a family friend with ALL – she's here at the hospital now, could you work her in?........Great, thanks." He hung up the receiver and gave his son a reassuring smile.

"He'll see her in an hour."

Closing his eyes, Patrick blew the air out of his cheeks. "That's great. Thank you."

"How is Nathalie?"

"She seems to be handling it better than I am."

"Keep an eye on her Patrick. She's already been knocked about some and she's going to need to lean on people."

"I'm not sure how much support I can give her – I'm pretty useless – Robin did all the talking in the cafeteria – I was too stunned to speak."

Noah leaned forward. "Patrick, there are moments when you just can't be a doctor and this is one of them. She doesn't need you to be a doctor, she needs you to be her friend and I have every confidence that you can do that."

"I love them both so much" he whispered.

"I know you do."

"It feels like Robin and Rian all over again."

"Robin and Rian both came through that beautifully and Grace will do so as well. You have to believe in the positive outcome."

Patrick's knees shook as he stood. "I will – thanks Dad – I should get back to them."

Noah watched his son leave and knew however hard this was for him, the hardest parts were still to come.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Patrick and Robin sat in Dr. Garcia's waiting room while Grace was examined. His legs bounced up and down nervously while he checked his watch almost obsessively.

"It's taking too long" he said impatiently.

Robin reached for his hand. "No it's not" she said kindly. "Dr. Garcia is being thorough and no doubt talking to Nathalie about treatment options."

"How did this happen?" he asked as much himself as anyone. "This isn't fair."

"It's never fair Patrick but we can't dwell on that - we need to be strong for both of them."

"You're the strong one" he snapped. He dropped his head into his hands. "I'm sorry" he mumbled.

Robin rubbed his back, resting her chin on his shoulder. She knew she was catching a glimpse of how distraught he had been after her car accident and only wished she could spare him from this a second time. "I love you, you know."

Reaching out, he draped his arm across her lap. "I know - it's just - gah!"

"Deep breaths Patrick" she said softly, still rubbing her hand over the expanse of his back. Feeling the knots under her hand she knew that the sadness and anger he was expressing was just the overflow, the rest was still buried deep inside him.

They both looked up expectantly as the door opened and Nathalie came out. She was pale and her eyes heavy. Giving a brave smile, she sat beside them. "They're just drawing some more blood. Poor sweetie - she's been a human pin cushion today."

"What did Garcia say?" Patrick asked urgently.

Nathalie nodded as if gathering strength. "Well he considers her to be critical and is going to admit her tonight and start her on chemo tomorrow. Oliver and I are going to be tested for bone marrow if necessary and we'll go from there. I mean, hopefully the chemo will do its job and further treatment won't be necessary."

"How are you doing?" Robin asked carefully.

"I'm okay. It's a lot to take in and I feel like I've become a leukemia expert in less than six hours but we have goals and things to focus on and that's what I'm good with."

"What can we do to help?"

Nathalie exhaled. "Oh Robin, I don't know what Grace needs yet so I don't know what to ask for."

"Nathalie, Gracie will have doctors and nurses watching over her very carefully - what do you need?"

She twisted her mouth into a wry smile. "I have no idea?"

"Where's Oliver?" Patrick asked, linking his fingers through Robin's.

"Lulu has him. Once Gracie is all settled in, I'll have her drop him off here and then I guess I have to call my parents."

"Why don't we take Oliver?" Robin offered. "This is no place for him and you're not going to want to leave her anytime soon. We have a bed he can sleep in and Rian will be happy for the playmate."

"I don't know" Nathalie was undecided. She had made so many decisions in the last few hours that even the simple ones seemed overwhelming.

Robin recognized Nathalie's 'deer in headlights' look and took the control of the situation. "We'll take him. I'm off in a few hours and I'll call Lulu and have her bring Oliver to the house and then when you're ready you can head over and either spend the night or take him home with you."

Nathalie smiled gratefully. "Thanks." Looking at Patrick, she put a hand on his leg. "Are you okay P?"

He stood up suddenly. "No - I'm not freaking okay and I wish people would stop asking me that. How is it that the two of you are talking calmly and rationally - Gracie has cancer." Robin closed her eyes and chewed on her bottom lip.

Nathalie stood and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. "It's going to be fine P" she whispered. "Just hang in here with us, it's going to be fine."

He shrugged her off. "Fine? God, Nat...." Unable to take any more, he turned on his heel and stalked out of Dr. Garcia's office.

Robin looked at Nathalie. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "No apology needed Robin. He just needs to blow off some steam and he'll be fine."

A nurse came from the exam room, pushing Grace in a wheelchair. "Mommy, I get my own room." She rubbed at her face, tired from the day's tests.

"I know" Nathalie smiled brightly. "And I'm going to stay with you for a while, so we can play go fish and I have a bunch of new books to read you."

"Hi Robin" Grace said shyly, seeing the doctor for the first time.

"Hi Gracie - I hear you were a good girl for Dr. Garcia."

She nodded excitedly. "He gave me a lollipop" she said brandishing the candy. "And it's lemon!"

Robin smiled at her. "You're a lucky girl. I'll come and visit you in your room tomorrow, would you like that?"

"Yes please. Will you bring Patty?"

"I'll see what I can do." Standing up she touched Nathalie's shoulder. "Call us at anytime, even if it's just to talk."

Nathalie hugged her tightly. "Thank you - thank you for running the tests and being here and taking Oliver..."

"It's what friends do, right?" Robin let go of her and watched with a certain sadness as they left for Grace's room. It was the beginning of a long journey for all of them and there was no telling how it would end up. All Robin wanted to do was go home and hold her own son to her heart and thank God for his health.

xxxxx

Having paged and phoned Patrick and received no response, Robin finally left the hospital to meet Lulu and pick up Oliver. She knew Patrick would call her when he was ready, she just hoped it wouldn't be too long. Lulu stayed with her to help her get both boys ready for bed and it was clear that Grace wasn't the only Walker child who had formed a close bond with her. Oliver held her hand whenever he could and preferred her lap over any other seat in the house. She knew his bed time routine and got him to sleep easily.

She thanked Lulu for taking care of Oliver and brought her up to speed on Grace's situation and then stayed up as late as she could waiting for her husband to come home. She called his cell phone twice more before finally giving up and turning in for the night. She had only been dozing for a few hours when she heard his key in the door. She waited to hear his heavy footsteps on the stairs but they never came. Grabbing her robe from the bedpost, she wrapped it around herself and quietly descended the stairs.

Patrick sat in the dark, his shirt untucked and completely unbuttoned. He swirled the scotch around in the glass and sighed. He didn't even want the drink he just liked the idea of it. He had gone to see Grace in her room and felt the air leave his lungs as he saw her propped in bed, leaning against Nathalie while she read her a story. The i.v. and the oxygen were the only concessions to her illness for now. He wanted to go into the room and take her in his arms but he couldn't bring himself to it. Ashamed at his fear, he signed out of the hospital for the night and started to walk. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the cold biting at his face. His pager vibrated and his cell phone rang but he couldn't answer them, he didn't know what to say.

Making his way home wasn't a conscious decision, his legs just seemed to lead him there. The house was in darkness when he got in and he was grateful for the quiet. Pouring himself a glass of scotch, he sank into the leather couch and waited. Not sure what he was waiting for - answers or hope - he was even less sure he would recognize either if they appeared. Deep in thought, he didn't hear Robin call his name and was surprised when she straddled his lap.

"Hi" she said quietly, brushing the hair from his face.

His eyes focused on her. "I didn't mean to ignore your calls."

"Yes you did but that's okay."

"Why does it hurt so much Robin?" he asked hoarsely.

"Because you love her and you're afraid of losing her."

"She looks so much like Drew - she even has his laugh. I swear she's become more like him since he died than she was before."

Robin stroked his cheeks. "It's okay to be sad Patrick but you don't have to be sad on your own. We're partners, you and I - we do this together." Her robe slipped from her shoulder and Patrick couldn't resist running his hand along her suddenly bare skin. She was surprised at how much his hand trembled. Leaning forward, she gently brushed her lips against his. "It's okay Patrick" she repeated against his mouth.

Closing his eyes, he pulled on her lips before burying his head in the crook of her neck. Breathing her in calmed him in the way it always had. Robin pressed herself into his chest, letting her breasts rub against his chest. Patrick sighed against her skin, his hands rubbing her arms. She pushed his shirt from his shoulders and pulled it from his arms. Gently kissing his neck and along his collar bone, she tried to transfer comfort to him with every touch. With a shaky hand he undid the belt around her robe and let it fall away from her. She sat across him, completely naked, in the dark. Covering his face in gentle, quiet kisses, she could feel the tension leave his body.

His hands roamed her body almost in wonderment, grazing her nipples, stroking her thighs. She responded to his touch, moving her hips against his. There was no urgency to their touch, rather an affirmation of life and love going in even in the face of tragedy. Robin captured his lips and softly swept her tongue in his mouth. He let out a quiet moan, grateful to feel the heat returning to his body. He threaded his fingers through her hair, bringing her closer to him and deepening their kiss. Robin ran her hands over his bare skin, holding them over his heart for a moment. He pushed himself into her hands and she saw the tears forming in his eyes. Feeling his arousal grow underneath her, she dropped her head and kissed his chest, lovingly sucking on one nipple and then the other. Her heat continued to warm him.

"Robin" he whispered.

He stood up slowly, letting her slide from his lap. Pulling his wallet from his back pocket he opened it and retrieved a condom, placing it on arm of the sofa. Robin's small hands made quick work of his belt and buttons, letting his pants fall to the floor. Stepping out of them, he slid his boxer briefs down his strong but shaky legs. She reached for the condom and gently pushed him back on to the couch. Tearing open the small packet, she sheathed him quickly before straddling him again, lowering herself on his jutting erection. Both groaned at the contact.

Taking his face in her hands, she lay feathery kisses on his lips and his cheeks and under his eyes as she moved up and down in an unhurried pace. Moving to his neck, he shuddered as she worked her tongue in small circles on his soft skin, stopping only to suck on his earlobe. He pressed his lips against her shoulder, kissing her gently but passionately. His body felt alive again, energy coursing through him as he thrust harder against her. Little mewling sounds began to escape from her lips as she continued to make love to him. Through her body she offered him safety and love, reminding him that he was no longer alone. Feeling her walls clenching around him, Patrick gave into the release that had been building inside him, crying her name as he did so. Robin continued to rock her hips, milking him as her orgasm washed over her. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her tightly to his body. He needed to hold on to her. They stayed tangled together, his head resting on her shoulder. Several hot tears dropped on her skin. Cupping his face, she kissed the tearstains on his cheeks.

"It's okay Patrick" she said quietly.

"As long as I have you" he choked making no further effort to hold back the pain inside.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Nathalie pulled the blanket tighter trying to ward off the chill that came from sitting in Grace's room. It had been 19 hours since she had been admitted and her first round of chemotherapy was scheduled to start in a short while but for now the little girl slept peacefully. She had done her best to explain the diagnosis to her young daughter and consoled herself with the fact that at the very least Grace understood she was sick. Her phone call to her parents had not gone well as they had first accused her of making it up as an excuse to keep the children longer. It was only after Epiphany took the phone from her and explained in no uncertain terms that Grace was critically ill that they agreed to let her keep both children for a few days. Tucking her legs up underneath her, she sighed and wondered how many times she could go to the well, how many times could she tough her way through things before there was nothing left.

The door creaked open and looking up she smiled as Noah came in and sat beside her.

"You haven't left, have you" he said quietly.

She shook her head. "Would you?"

Noah smiled. "Are you kidding? Patrick had his tonsils out when he was seven and his mother and I had a bedside vigil – like he was the only kid in the world to undergo that procedure."

"Well he's always been a drama queen" she joked lightly.

Noah studied her face carefully. "How are you?"

She shrugged. "That's my baby girl lying there Noah. I'm having trouble processing feelings beyond that."

"You want to trade places with her, don't you?"

"More than you know" she said hoarsely. "She's four – she's four and she's had her dad taken from her, her innocence taken from her – how much more?"

"She's had her mom taken from her too" he added gently.

Nathalie sighed. "She doesn't necessarily view that as a bad thing."

Noah took her hand. "Nat, I know a thing or two about angry children and they don't stop loving you – ever. What happened to your husband wasn't your fault."

"I'm not sure. Maybe there were signs and I didn't ask because I didn't want to know. Maybe if I had been braver I could have stopped him and my children would still have their father."

"There was nothing you could have done – you can't stop someone bent on self destruction."

Nathalie turned her head sharply. "Are you saying that for me or for you?"

He gave her a wry smile. "A bit of both. Patrick used to plead with me – beg me – to stop drinking. It didn't matter – I wanted the pain to end more than I wanted anything else. I suspect Drew felt the same way."

She laid her head on his shoulder. "You know, being a survivor isn't nearly as romantic in real life as they make it on t.v."

Noah patted her head. "You make it look pretty good Nathalie. Your children are very lucky to have you." The fatigue and worry etched on her face did not go unnoticed by him and he knew a brave front when he saw one. "Have you thought about calling Nikolas?"

She lifted her head and ran her hands through her hair. "I can't." Breathing unsteadily, she began to fidget with her hands. "This isn't his child, I'm not his wife – this isn't his problem."

"He loves you" Noah said simply. "I think he would hate that you are going through this alone."

"I'm not alone" she said quickly. "Patrick and Robin have been great – Lulu too."

"It's not the same as having someone to crawl into bed next to and have them be your strength."

Smiling, she kissed him on the cheek. "You're a good man Noah Drake – your child is lucky to have you too."

Noah stood and kissed the top of her head. "You should plan to go home and sleep for a few hours – Grace needs you rested and strong."

"I will" she said, both knowing she was lying. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Anytime."

xxxxxx

Brenda checked her watch for the fourth time and turned off the oven. Noah had said he would be home at six and it was now 8 o'clock. She had ordered take out from their favourite Indian restaurant and had set the table for a romantic dinner but it was all too late now. It was unusual for him not to at least call or text her if he was going into surgery and she was getting concerned.

Walking to the bedroom, she pulled his Harvard sweatshirt from the drawer and put it on. Bringing the collar to her nose, she breathed in the mix of his aftershave and soap and lay down on the bed. Another woman wouldn't be so insecure when her doctor boyfriend was a little late but Brenda had an innate ability to always jump to the worst possible conclusion. She flopped against the pillows as she heard his key in the door.

"Brenda?" he called out. The curry wafting in the apartment told him that she was there. He grimaced as he saw the table set with candles and flowers. "Brenda?"

"In here" she called from the bedroom.

Noah dropped his bag and coat with a heavy sigh and shuffled tiredly to his room. Brenda looked like a little girl curled up on the bed in his sweatshirt. He flopped beside her and stroked her face. "Hi."

"Hi" she said, pulling the cuffs over her hands.

"You okay?"

"You're late." He nodded. "Was it a surgery?"

"No – a few things happened and then I had to take care of something."

She arched her eyebrow. "Could you be more cryptic?"

Noah's eyes narrowed at her tone. "Brenda" he said firmly. "I've never given you any reason to worry and you don't have one now. We talked about trying to live this relationship in the moment and you have got to meet me halfway on this."

She closed her eyes. "I don't want to be a paranoid bitch…"

"Then don't be one" he said in exasperation.

Noah's reaction pulled her from her self-pity. "I'm sorry. What happened?" she asked, sitting up.

He ran his hands over his face. He loved Brenda, he had even told her so but he knew that she didn't love him. He kept thinking if he gave it enough time things would change but on nights when he was vulnerable, like this one, he didn't know if they could. She had pulled him back to life in ways he hadn't imagined but he was still the rock in their relationship, a role he was unaccustomed to playing.

"Grace has leukemia and is in the hospital starting chemotherapy."

Brenda's mouth fell open. "Grace? Nathalie's Grace?"

He nodded. "And I went to talk to Nat in hopes of making her feel better but it made me wobbly instead."

Recognition crossed her face. "Did you feel like having a drink?" she asked softly.

The corners of his mouth flickered upwards. "A drink? Brenda, I'm an alcoholic, I don't have *a* drink. I have 6, 10 or 18 drinks – whatever it takes to find the numbness. If I could have a drink I wouldn't have a problem." He sighed and reaching for her hand, pulled it to his lips. "I called my sponsor and I went to a meeting. I haven't been this tempted in a while and I was afraid that if I stopped to call you, my next stop might be the bar and not AA."

She scooted closer to him and snuggled under his arm. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry today was hard, I'm so sorry about Grace and I'm sorry that I'm so damaged that I can't see past myself to see what's going on with you."

He kissed the side of head. "We need to keep talking Brenda. You and I come with a lot of dents and scars but that doesn't mean we won't make it – we just have to keep talking."

xxxxxxx

Patrick stood outside Grace's room with a lump in his throat and watched as Nathalie tucked her in. Grace was pale and shivering, the effects of the chemo already making themselves known. He had reviewed her chart at the Nurses Station and knew that a sedative had been prescribed to help her sleep and to help with the nausea. He stared as Nathalie lay on the bed beside her, holding her hand and singing to her. She looked older, the effects of the last year showing on her face. Gathering some courage, he gently pushed the door open.

"Hi girlies" he said softly.

Grace's eyes fluttered open. "Patty!" she said tiredly. "You came."

He sat on the end of the bed and touched Nathalie's leg. "Of course I came, pumpkin. You can't hang out in my hospital without hanging out with me, you know."

She smiled. "My tummy hurts." Nathalie stroked her hair, saying nothing.

"I know it does Gracie-lou but that's why I brought you a friend to keep you company."

"You?" she asked in surprise.

"Sorry Gracie, not me but I will be here lots. But I did bring you George!" Reaching into his lab coat pocket, he pulled out a Curious George monkey and handed it to her.

"Curious George! Mommy look – it's George" Grace said brandishing the stuffed animal in her mother's face.

Nathalie was too tired to lift her head. "That's great" she said, the fatigued laced through her voice. "A monkey for a monkey. Did you thank Patty for it?"

"Thank you Patty – I love you"

The lump reappeared in his throat. "I love you too Gracie-lou – more than space. Why don't you close your eyes and let the medicine do its magic?"

"Will you come back?" she asked with concern.

"Yes baby, I'll come back later, I promise." He touched Nathalie's leg again. "Why don't you come back to my office, eat something and have a nap?"

She shook her head. "I can't leave." Her eyes never left her daughter.

"Nat…"

"Don't ask me to leave Patrick because I just can't."

"Okay" he acquiesced. Getting up from the bed, being careful not to jostle Grace, he kissed the young girl on the top of her head and kissed his friend on the cheek. "I'll come check on you later." Nathalie nodded without looking at him.

Leaving the room and heading down the hallway to his office, Patrick pulled his cell phone from his pocket along with the piece of paper Lulu had given him. Punching in the long number, he waited as the call was connected.

"Nikolas? It's Patrick. I'm not sure where things are at with you and Nathalie right now but I think you should come home."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Robin got down from her stool and stretched. Hours spent bent over a microscope were not good for the posture or the muscles. Closing her eyes, she rubbed the back of her neck trying to release the tightness. Her lips curved into a smile as she felt a familiar pair of hands on her shoulders, massaging them. Leaning back, she felt his warm breath on her skin.

"Looking for a little release?" he asked huskily.

"Why doctor - I'm a married woman - my husband will object."

"Husband? You are too beautiful to stay with that lout, leave him and run away with me" he said, kissing the back of her neck.

"You are so right" she teased "Let's get out of here."

"Hey!" Patrick objected. "You could at least put up a little fight."

Robin turned around to face him, giggling. "Aw, are you pouting?"

"I do NOT pout." He crossed his arms across his chest as Robin arched her eyebrow. "EXCEPT when my wife is so willing to run away with a handsome stranger."

"I see - he was handsome was he? Arrogant much?" She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. "I hate when our schedules overlap and I don't get my morning cuddle time with you."

He smiled, snaking his hand around her waist. "Me too - though it's not the cuddling I'm missing."

Robin rolled her eyes. She took it as a good sign that Patrick was playful again. Though it didn't mean he was free of worry, it did mean that he was feeling hopeful and hope was something she could work with. She linked her fingers through his belt loops. "How are our friends today?"

Patrick let out a deep sigh. "Gracie was sick most of the night and hasn't been able to keep anything down this morning. I think Garcia is going to consider putting in a central line and doing intravenous nutrition if her stomach doesn't settle in the next few hours. Poor thing, one more procedure."

Feeling his heart hammer in his chest, she ran her hand over his chest soothingly. Patrick wanted so badly to support Grace and Nathalie in the way she had supported him when he needed her but he felt things so deeply and so intensely that at times he could be knocked back by the smallest thing. Some may have viewed it as weakness but she saw it as proof that he was the man, and then some, that she always knew him to be. "How's Nathalie?"

"I finally convinced her to take a shower and change into the fresh clothes Lulu brought her but she wouldn't nap in my office and she hasn't eaten anything in almost two days. She seems to be living on coffee."

"You know, I can't hold Rian enough these days. I go to the daycare and pick him up and squeeze him. I swear his first words are going to be 'mommy stop hugging me!'" Robin grinned.

"No, I'm pretty sure his first words are going to be 'daddy stop hugging me'" Patrick winked.

"You too, huh?"

He nodded. "I also did something last night that may get me in trouble" he said carefully.

"Were you having another party for one in your office?" she teased.

"Nice. Really nice. You get caught once and you never live it down."

"What did you do?"

"I called Nikolas and told him to come home."

Robin's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow - you took initiative" she said slowly "and did something Nathalie begged all of us not to do. Feeling brave lover?"

"She won't lean on me Robin. It was the same thing after Andrew's funeral - she would be busy doing things, talking to people, being constantly on the move and when she should have been crying on my shoulder, I was crying on hers."

"About Drew?"

"About you" he admitted sheepishly. "She'll open up to Nikolas, I know she will and I don't care if she yells at me - she needs him."

Robin wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face against his chest. "You are just full of surprises."

xxxxxx

Patrick stood outside Grace's room, arms folded across his chest and watched. He was hopelessly behind on his chart work but he couldn't stay away. Grace was sleeping and Nathalie was watching, exactly as it had been for three days. He wanted to help but every time he tried Nathalie would just reassure him that she was fine and turn the conversation on him. She was so adept at doing it that often he didn't even realize it happened until he left the room.

"Patrick."

He turned his head to the voice. "You got here quick."

"You said it was urgent" Nikolas said. "I had my pilot leave early this morning, Greece time."

"Hey Lulu" Patrick said, finally noticing her.

"Hi Patrick - how are things in there?" she asked, nodding in Grace's direction.

"Grace is pretty weak from the chemo."

"How long has Nathalie been there?" Nikolas asked, his eyes firmly locked on her sitting in the chair at Grace's bed side. Her legs were tucked underneath her and she had a blanket strewn across her lap.

"Three days - she's only left long enough to take a shower. I can't get her to leave."

Nikolas nodded. "I've got it." He looked at Lulu and nodded as he gently opened the door to the room. So used to the constant stream of doctors and nurses, Nathalie did not even look up. He crouched in front of her, resting his hands on her thighs.

Nathalie looked down, not quite registering that he was before her. "I've missed you" she said softly.

He smiled at her. "I've missed you too." He rubbed her legs gently. "Come on" he said quietly. "It's time to go." She shook her head violently. "It's okay - Lulu is going to stay with Grace -she won't be alone and Mary has picked up Oliver and he's back at Wyndermere."

Standing up, he took her hands and pulled her to her feet. Nathalie was too tired to resist. Taking off his coat, he put it around her shoulders and guided her down the hallway. Completely wrapped up in taking care of her, Nikolas was oblivious to whirr of the camera's motor drive as it snapped picture after picture.

They said nothing on the car ride to the launch and Nikolas held her tightly as the boat crossed the water to Wyndermere. Once home, she began to shiver and he picked her up, carrying her upstairs to his bedroom. Laying her on the bed, he passed her the t-shirt and flannel pajama pants that Alfred had laid out and set about starting a fire in the fireplace. Nathalie changed and crawled under the covers. Still shivering, she brought her knees to her chest and pulled the blankets around her. Nikolas watched her as he pulled his sweater off and laid his pants over the back of the chair. Pulling the covers back, he got into bed with her and gathered her in his arms. He rubbed her back and pressed his lips against the top of her head. He closed his eyes as she tangled her legs through his. He had missed her - every night in Greece he would fall asleep thinking about her body against his, her legs wrapped around his, the feel of her lips on his skin. He thought Greece would give him the space he needed to put her behind him but she was closer there than ever. Patrick's phone call gave him the excuse he needed to come home - to come back to her.

"I love you" she whispered.

"I know" he whispered back, his lips still against her hair. "Close your eyes and go to sleep, I've got you." Sighing, Nathalie melted against him and fell asleep quickly. Nikolas watched her sleep for a while before the jet lag took hold of him and he drifted to off.

xxxxx

Nathalie sat up with a start, gasping for air; throwing the covers back, she tried to get out of bed. "Gracie!" she said hoarsely. "I have to go to the hospital."

Nikolas took hold of her waist and pulled her back. "Shhh. You're okay Nathalie."

"I have to go to the hospital" she repeated. Her arms shook and she fell back against him.

"Lulu is there - Gracie is fine" he said reassuringly. He continued to rub her back as her breathing evened out. "Just breathe, okay? The only thing you have to do right now is breathe."

She rested her head on his chest, letting him soothe her. As he ran his hands through her hair, she turned and placed a gentle kiss on his bare chest. Placing a second and a third one, she heard his breath hitch. Tilting her chin upwards, he captured her lips softly. It was their first kiss in nearly a month and he felt his stomach flip as he made contact with her lips. He fingered the N hanging from her necklace.

"You're still wearing it."

She nodded, closing her hand over his. "I've never taken it off." Sitting up she pulled the t-shirt over her head and tossed it from the bed. Shimmying out of the flannel pants, she did the same thing.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm going to go mad if I don't feel your skin on mine." She tugged at his boxer/briefs and he obliged by lifting his hips. Lying on her side facing him, she ran her hand along his side, Nikolas bit his lip.

"Nat - I didn't come home to...."

She put her finger against his lips. "It's not about sex Nik" she locked eyes with him, "I just want to love you and have you love me."

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before moving on top of her. Pushing her legs apart with his, he nestled in between them as he captured her lips. Alternating between her bottom and top lip, he nipped at them until her tongue darted out and coaxed his lips apart. Their tongues tangled and suddenly Nikolas couldn't taste enough of her - he had been starving without her. Feeling his arousal harden against her legs, Nathalie pushed her hips against his, encouraging him. Placing her hands over her head, he laced his fingers through hers, dipping his head to gently kiss her neck. Feeling his weight against her, she finally realized she was safe and she was where she belonged. He closed his mouth over one nipple, sucking on it before slowly letting it go. She moaned as he moved to the other one.

"Oh Nik" she panted, still moving her hips against hers. He felt the blood pumping through his body and was surprised at how quickly he hardened. But his body would stir at just the thought of her. Lowering one of her hands, she closed it around him, stroking him lightly. Nikolas buried his head between her breasts, unable to form a coherent thought. He had been sure that he would never have this with her again and now that it was here, he didn't want to rush it. Lining his tip up at her slick entrance, Nathalie pushed against him, gasping as he entered her. He lay still inside her for a moment.

"Are you okay?" he asked, stroking her cheek.

She locked eyes with him. "I am" she said hoarsely.

Nathalie traced her hands down his back as he began to thrust slowly inside her. He wanted her to feel safe enough with him to give into her feelings. He knew, that in typical fashion, she had been swallowing her fear and worry to keep going and he wanted her to let go. He pushed deeply inside her, letting her feel him. Her lips parted, breathless with every motion. Her hips met his, joining them together. They gazed lovingly at each other as they built to their climaxes. His kisses became hungry as he teetered on the edge, not willing to let go until she did. Tiny spasms rocked her body as her release started at her toes and moved up her body.

"Oh god, Nik" she was almost panicked at the feeling rising through her body.

He hovered above her mouth. "Give into it Nat" he said huskily "Come with me." Unable to push the feelings back any further, Nathalie lifted from the bed, holding tightly to Nikolas as her body shook forcefully. Letting himself go, he filled her before falling against her, breathless.

He slowly pulled out of her and rolling on to his back, wrapped her in his arms and waited. He traced his fingers on her shoulders and pressed his lips against her temple. And then it started. One release gave way to another and the tears she had been holding on to for weeks fell. She sobbed against his chest while he lovingly rubbed her back. "You're okay - let it out - let it all out." As Nathalie finally cried herself to sleep, Nikolas lay back against his pillow staring at the ceiling, grateful for the second chance. He would not allow anything to separate them again.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Nathalie sat up in bed and wiped the sleep from her face. She had no idea what time it was or how long she had been asleep. Looking at the empty space beside her she wondered if she had simply dreamed everything. Exhaustion could play tricks on the mind and she had dreamt of reconnecting with Nikolas before. Given how she had treated him when he left, she had no reason to suspect that him bringing her back to Wyndermere was anything more than an act of mercy. Pushing the covers back, she reached for the red flannel robe hanging from the bed post. She had just wrapped the ties around her waist when the door opened.

Nikolas walked in, dressed in a navy robe, carrying a tray of food. "You're up" he remarked as he set the food down on the table by oversized chair facing the fireplace.

She rubbed her hands over her face nervously. "Yeah - I uh....I guess I slept quite a bit." Looking around the room, she chewed her lip. "Do you know where my clothes went? I should probably get going to the hospital - it was very nice of you to bring me back here but I couldn't impose any longer - I mean I really appreciate...." Nikolas took her by the hand and pulled her into his lap as he sat in the oversized chair.

"You're rambling." He pressed his lips into her neck. "And you're a little disoriented."

"So I didn't dream it?" she asked.

He ran his hand along her thigh, under her robe. "Nope - not unless you and I had the same dream."

"I should get back to the hospital though."

"Not yet - you need more sleep and you need to eat. We'll go and see Gracie tonight."

"I'm not hungry."

Nikolas reached for a strawberry and held it to her lips. She reluctantly accepted it. "You're too thin" he said, rubbing her hip. "Have you eaten anything in the last month?"

She rested her head on his shoulder. "Not so much - I didn't have much of an appetite." He stroked her hair as they watched the fire. "I don't want to be without you." she said quietly.

"You don't have to" he replied. Taking hold of her hand, he laced his fingers through hers.

"You still love me?"

"Oh my" he said hoarsely. "Very much." She dipped her head and passionately closed her mouth over his. He threaded his hand through her hair, pulling her closer to him. Breathlessly breaking the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I don't want to overwhelm you right now and we can talk more as Gracie gets better but I'd like you - you and the kids to think about making this your home."

Nathalie swallowed thickly. A month or even two months ago, such an offer from Nikolas would have had her running as far and as fast as she was tired of running. Pressing her palm over his heart, she nodded. "You are my home."

xxxxxx

Lulu walked behind the counter at Kelly's and poured herself a coffee. It had been a long night and a longer morning. She had been surprised when Nikolas had arrived home suddenly. He had asked her why she hadn't told him about the situation with Grace and she explained that Nathalie had asked her not to. She had watched in amazement as her brother kicked into action, ordering Alfred to prepare the house for Nathalie's arrival and sending Mary to Robin's house to pick up Oliver.

_"How do you even know she'll come home with you?" she had asked._

"Because I love her." Reaching for his winter coat, he turned to her. "I need a favour though."

"Name it."

"Can you stay at the hospital with Grace? I won't have a hope in getting her home unless she knows someone will be with Grace."

"Of course I will." Lulu grabbed her coat and followed him to the launch. His driver met them at the pier. Inside the car, Lulu linked her arm through his. "Brings back some memories, huh?"

He smiled and kissed her temple. "It connected you and I in a way that I wouldn't trade for anything."

"Your bone marrow saved my life."

"Having you as a sister has saved mine more than once."  
  
She had stayed with Grace through the night. The little girl had woken up disoriented and vomitting. It was only after she had finished being sick that she realized it was Lulu and not her mother in the room with her. Lulu held her as she cried and sang her back to sleep. When Grace woke up again in the morning feeling somewhat better, she had been excited to see her friend and challenged her to a game of Go Fish. Patrick had stopped by and promised he would be back to relieve her once his appointment was over. It was nearly 10:30 by the time he got there and she was in desperate need of coffee.

"Lesley Lu Spencer as I live and breathe."

Looking up from the counter, she couldn't keep the grin or the blush from her face. "Hi Ethan" she said shyly.

Sliding on to the stool, he leaned forward. "Are you playing hard to get?" he removed his touque.

"Pardon?" she asked as she poured him a cup of coffee and passed it to him.

"I've called a couple of times and haven't heard back. I was just wondering if you maybe had gone off me?"

Lulu's eyes widened in surprise. "Not at all! Oh god, Ethan, I haven't checked my cell phone in a couple of days - I've had some family stuff going on."

"Oh" he said sheepishly. "Is everything okay?" Ethan felt foolish. Always popular with the girls at school, he had had a few long term relationships but the day he met Lulu knocked him for a loop. He was immediately struck by her and wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. All of his detached cool deserted him when he was around her. He had left her three messages inviting her out for dinner and was surprised at how disappointed he was when he hadn't heard from her. He silently chided himself for not knowing that she would have a reason for not calling.

"Do you remember Grace?" He nodded. "She has leukemia and is in the hospital. I spent last night at her bedside so her mom could get some rest."

"Oh Lulu, I'm so sorry. How is Nathalie?"

She looked at him in surprise. "You remember her name?"

Looking down at his coffee, his ears turned red. "I remember everything you tell me."

Lulu smiled. "You're cute."

His ears turned pinker as he looked up at her. "So are you. Do you want to get out of here?"

"Oh - um, where?"

"Come back to my place, we can play NHL 2007 on my Xbox."

"I..uh.." Lulu was paralyzed by the warring emotions inside her. She wanted to go with him and see where the day would take him but there was a part of her that was truly scared of being alone with him. She was scared of giving in to her feelings and of not giving in to her feelings.

Ethan recognized the struggle on her face. "It's just Xbox Lulu - no hanky panky, I promise."

She scrunched up her face. "Will there be a little hanky panky?"

"Well, I might have to kiss you once or twice."

She drained her coffee. "Well so long as there will be kissing, I can't resist. Let's go." She grabbed her jacket and taking his hand pulled him from his stool as they headed for the door. Bruce stood around the corner and snapped photo after photo as Lulu and Ethan walked from the diner, hand in hand.

Kelly's was a short five minute walk to his apartment. She stood in the entrance looking around. For all her and Ethan had spoken she still felt there was little she knew about him and being here was a glimpse into who he was. Above his dark green sofa was a print of At the Crease by Ken Danby and there was other hockey memorabilia scattered around the room. He had a small table up against the wall with four different chairs around it. The table was covered with past editions of the Hockey News.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you're a hockey fan?" she said, shrugging off her jacket.

He smiled. "I was a player for a long time."

"Do you still play?" she asked as she kicked off her boots.

"Just rec hockey with some friends from school, nothing too organized."

"Are you a good player?"

He took her hand and led her to the couch. "I was okay I guess. I was drafted at 17 by the Dallas Stars."

"Seriously?" she asked bug eyed. "What happened?" Lulu instantly regretted her question as she saw pain flash across his face.

"It was the summer my mom died and I kind of lost my taste for it. I also tore my ACL and just wasn't interested in putting the work in that I needed to for the elite level."

"Do you miss it?"

He shrugged. "Yes and no." Getting up from the couch, he flipped on the television and the Xbox, handing her a controller. "Just so you know, you can be whatever team you want to be but I am always, always the Montreal Canadiens."

"You've got a well developed inner geek, don't you?" she teased.

"Not all that inner" he smiled. Reaching over, he tucked her hair behind her ear.

She smiled at the intimate gesture. "Ready to get your ass kicked?"

"Why? You think you can beat me?"

"Please - like you're the only one who knows their way around an Xbox. Bring it on big boy."

Ethan laughed and started the game. After playing for two hours and demolishing Lulu twice in the process, they decided to call it quits.

"Don't you have Grand Theft Auto?" she whined. "I'm really good at that."

"I think I'll have to get you on a rink and teach you how to play hockey."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I can explain the game to you slowly, using small words in a condescending boyfriend like way."

"Did you just call yourself my boyfriend?"

He waggled his eyebrows. "And what if I did?"

"I think I might have to kiss you."

He leaned in stopping just short of her lips. "I think I like the sound of that."

Cupping her face, he closed his mouth over hers and kissed her hungrily. Lulu moved closer to him on the couch, deepening their kiss. She was grateful to be already sitting as her knees shook. She threaded her hands through his hair, tentatively sweeping her tongue into his mouth. He tangled his tongue with hers, moaning into her mouth. Letting his hands travel, he ran them gently over her shoulder tracing her collar bone with his thumb. Lulu leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling Ethan on top of her. Taking care not press his full weight against her, he moved his mouth to her neck leaving a trail of wet kisses. Lulu pushed her hips against his and was so caught up in the moment she didn't hear the beeping of her watch for almost a minute.

Ethan sat up. "I think your watch is beeping."

Lulu's face and neck turned bright red. "It's uh.." her hands shook slightly as she tried to press the small buttons to turn it off. "I have to um, take some pills now."

Looking at her, realization dawned. "Oh, okay - do you need water or juice - do you have to take them with food?"

Squirming slightly at the very blatant reminder of her HIV status, she exhaled slowly. "Water is fine."

He got up from the couch and walked to his galley kitchen. Lulu pulled her purse to her lap and fished her med bag out, counting out the three pills she needed. He returned, passing her a tall glass of water. Sitting beside her, he played with her hair while she swallowed down her medication. "Can I ask you something?" he asked cautiously. She nodded. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"I won't. Go ahead and ask.."

"How did you contract HIV? You haven't had sex and you don't strike me as an i.v drug user and so I was just wondering - but" he covered quickly, "if it's too personal or you don't want to tell me, that's fine."

Lulu sighed and tucked her legs underneath her. She pulled at the frayed hem of her jeans. "You met my friend Patrick - the doctor?" He nodded. "He's married to a good friend of mine, Robin. Robin got HIV more than a decade ago from her boyfriend. She's the coolest person in the world - she went to France and became a doctor and then came home to work here." Her voice trembled slightly as she had rarely told the story - everyone who was important to her already knew. "Last year she was pregnant and she had this creepy guy following her around. Anyway they were arguing on the street corner and our friend Brenda and me were waiting on the other side of the street. She tried to get away from him and ran out into the intersection - she didn't see the car and was thrown quite a distance. I saw her get hit." Lulu inhaled and Ethan rubbed her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "I ran to get to her but I tripped and scraped my hands. When I got there, she wasn't breathing and so I did mouth to mouth." Lulu's voice trailed off.

Ethan nodded knowingly. "She was bleeding and you had open wounds?"

"Yeah."

"Robin and her baby are okay?"

Lulu continued to look at her knees. "Yeah - everyone is fine."

"Wow."

"Wow?" she looked at him incredulously.

"You're a hero - a real hero, Lulu."

"No I'm not" she deferred.

"Don't do that - don't diminish what you did. I know about heroes and trust me, you are one." He brushed his lips against hers. "You're amazing."

xxxxx

"Nervous much?" Robin asked, sitting on the exam table.

"Huh? What?" Patrick replied distractedly.

"I asked you if you were nervous" Robin smiled.

"Why would you think I'm nervous?"

"I don't know, it could be because you're pacing and checking your watch every 30 seconds. You understand we're just talking about the next steps for getting pregnant, they aren't actually sending us home with a child."

"Har! Har! I'm not nervous" he protested.

"Then why are you pacing?" Robin swung her legs from the table.

"Because I'm ...er....anxious."

She held out her hand to him. "What are you anxious about?"

Taking her hand, he walked towards her. "Maybe anxious is the wrong word - I'm just excited and..." he sighed. "Okay, fine, I'm nervous."

"It's going to be fine" she reassured him.

"I'm just worried about the toll on your health - don't think I've forgotten about how you wanted to go off your ARVs during the first trimester with Rian." He stroked her face. Having Rian awakened paternal feelings in him and he knew now that he wanted more children but not at the expense of Robin's well being. Since he first found out that she was HIV+ he became increasingly aware that her time and ultimately their time together was finite and he didn't want to lose a minute, especially not when he came close to losing it all months ago.

"That's what we have Dr. Maida for" she said quietly.

"We are going to make this a stress free pregnancy for you - lots of rest, no worrying, lots of good food."

Robin raised her eyebrows. "Are you getting bossy with me?" she teased.

"You have yet to begin to see bossy" he leaned in, capturing her lips. He pulled away as the door opened.

"An exam room Dr. Drake?" Dr. Maida teased "I thought the OR was more your style"

Patrick's mouth dropped open as he looked at his wife. "Is there ANYONE who doesn't know that story?"

Robin giggled. "Well I had it posted with a pictorial in the doctors' lounge but Alan made me take it down."

Dr. Maida looked up from his chart. "Robin is really quite adept at drawing though - so that mark on your lower back, mole or birthmark?"

Patrick covered his face. "You understand that I hate you both with the fire of a thousand suns, right?"

Dr. Maida shrugged. "I'm okay with that - you Robin?"

"Yup, all good."

Patrick shook his head. "Can we stop this and start talking about my wife's ovaries?"

Robin grinned. "What can I tell you Dr. Maida, he's normally not so excited to talk about my ovaries."

Dr. Maida winked at her. "Must be the hormones. But I take Patrick's point - moving right along, I've got your baselines back on t-cell and viral load and the results are great. You are still virtually asymptomatic. I can't see any reason why we can't proceed with artificial insemination whenever you're ready."

Robin squeezed Patrick's hand. "So what are the next steps?"

"Well, based on Robin's cycle she should be ovulating around February 17th or 18th which means that we could do it then, unless it's too soon?"

Robin and Patrick looked at each other, grinning. Robin shrugged. "What do you think?"

"A November baby? Like an early Christmas gift? That works for me" Patrick said as he kissed Robin's cheek.

"Okay. So you guys will need to monitor Robin's ovulation and when she is ovulating you'll need to come to the hospital within 24 hours - Patrick, that's when we'll need you to give us your sample."

Robin bit her lips to keep from smiling as Patrick blushed. "Can she, uh, help me?"

Dr. Maida rolled his eyes. "I don't want to know about it." He closed her chart. "So we'll see you guys in two weeks?"

Patrick extended his hand. "Absolutely, thanks."

"Anytime."

Patrick turned and looked at Robin. "Are you sure?"

Robin slid from the table and snaked her arms around his waist. "The only thing I've been more sure of is you."

"So, do we get to make another bet?"

She swatted his chest playfully. "You're incorrigible. Fine, we can make another bet AFTER I'm actually pregnant. I don't want to jinx this."

"I love you wife."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Robin leaned against the doorway and smiled. Her husband lay stretched out on the chocolate brown leather couch, his long legs threatening to slide off. The white afghan blanket lay haphazardly over him and his arms were wrapped around their son who lay sleeping on his chest. It was sight that made her heart full. She wanted to stand there for hours and watch them, the two most important people in her life, just be. She was pulled from her reverie by the sound of a key turning in the lock. Stepping away from the living room, she walked to the front door.

"Hey Brenda" she said quietly as she opened the door.

"Hey little sis!" Brenda squealed.

Robin put her fingers to her lips. "I have sleeping boys in the next room. Let's go to the kitchen." The two women walked to the kitchen and Brenda slid into a chair while Robin put the kettle on. Leaning against the counter, she watched as Brenda pulled one leg to her chest, resting her chin on her knee.

"Uh-oh" Robin smiled.

"Uh-oh?"

"I know that look - you're being chased by thoughts in your head."

"At this point it's hard to tell who is the chaser and who is the chasee."

Making a pot of tea and grabbing the bag of Oreos from the cupboard, Robin joined her at the table. "Okay, spill."

"I don't know where to begin" Brenda said quietly, pulling on her pant hem.

"Does it have to do with Noah?" Robin asked as she poured the tea.

"Yes....no.....sort of."

Robin smiled. "Oh dear. What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Robs I haven't been home in almost 8 months."

"I thought Port Charles was home?"

Brenda shook her head. "Nope - never was if I'm being truthful. Rome is home - I have a business there and friends and a life."

"You have friends, a life and a boyfriend here." Robin reminded her gently.

"He is not my boyfriend" she insisted.

Robin looked at her in surprise. "What do you mean he's not your boyfriend? Brenda, you have spent almost every available minute with him since you got home from Australia - how does that make him anything other than your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend implies commitment - we are not committed."

"Oh lord - did you find Patrick's old playbook or something?"

She shrugged. "It's just reaching a critical time for the business and I should probably be going back to deal with it."

"You don't want to go back" she observed. "You want to stay here - with Noah."

"Please" she scoffed. "If I was going to stay here for anyone, it would be for you."

Robin laughed lightly. "I'm pretty tough Bren, you're not going to hurt my feelings." The two women stared at each other. Brenda opened her mouth several times to speak but closed it again. Robin reached for her hand. "Bren, it's okay to want this with Noah."

"But what about my business - I spent years building my life there, establishing those contacts."

"Move your business here - move your life here. If you love Noah, it would be worth it."

"Love?" Brenda let her leg drop to the floor. "Who said anything about love?"

"I thought we had rules" Patrick's voice came from behind them. Both women turned as he walked in to the kitchen. He kissed Robin's cheek and passed Rian to her. "No lovey-dovey talk with Rian and I around."

"You said no public displays of affection, you never mentioned talk." Brenda teased.

"Fine, I'm amending the rule" he said.

"Do you want some dinner?" Robin asked.

He shook his head. "I promised Gracie I would be back at 7 to read her a story. I'm just going to dash upstairs and get changed." Turning his head, he looked at Brenda. "All joking aside - are you okay Brenda?"

She smiled brightly. "Absolutely! Valentine's Day is next week and I'm going to get Robin's opinion on which lingerie your dad would prefer." Robin burst out laughing as Patrick covered his ears.

"Evil!! Evil!!" Patrick cried as he sprinted from the room.

"You are mean" Robin smiled.

"Eh - the opportunity was there."

"Brenda - I love you and I want you to be happy but you have to want that for yourself too. It's okay to change from the plans you had laid out - sometimes the best things happen when you go off-track."

"Like Patrick?"

Robin kissed Rian's head. "And this one too."

xxxxxx

Patrick slid the puppet on his hand as he pushed open the door to Grace's room. "Patty!" she said weakly. "You came back."

"Of course I did munchkin and I brought a friend."

Grace looked past him. "Is Robin here too?"

He smiled as he sat down on the bed beside her. "No sweetie. Robin's at home with Rian. "This" he held up the puppet "is Schnookums"

"Schnookums? That's a silly name for a dog!" She cuddled her Curious George closer to her.

"Well he's a guard dog who uses his silly name to hide how powerful he is."

The young girl pulled the puppet from his hand and placed it on her lap as she snuggled closer to him. Patrick put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. "How do feel Gracie-lou?"

"I'm sick" she said.

"I know baby. Are you scared?"

"A little. Can I ask you somethn'?" She coughed forcefully.

"Of course you can - you can ask me anything."

"Am I going to die?"

Patrick's throat closed over and his chest tightened, it suddenly became very difficult to breathe. He inhaled sharply. "Why...why do you think that?"

"I'm not stupid Patty - I know cancer is bad."

Stroking her hair, he tried not to react as a clump of it came off in his hand. "Cancer can be bad..." he started.

"Am I going to die?"

He tried again. "We're all going to die at some point"

The young girl recognized his ducking of her question. "If I die do I go to heaven?"

"Yes" he said hoarsely. "If you die you'll go to heaven."

"Is Daddy in heaven?"

He kissed the top of her head and tightened his grip around her. "Yes angel, your daddy is in heaven."

"So if I die, I can see him again?" She shrugged "Dying is okay then."

Patrick tried to come up with some response but could not find the words. Blinking several times, he prayed the tears that were threatening would not fall as he didn't want to have to explain that to her. He pressed his lips against her head and sighed. "I love you Gracie-lou."

"I love you too Patty."

He lay beside her, singing to her as her eyes grew heavy from the medication. She finally fell asleep holding tightly to both Curious George and Schnookums. He closed his eyes and wished he remembered how to pray. Church had been a weekly outing for him as a child and for a long time he would pray before he went to sleep at night but somewhere around the time his mother fell ill, he got angry with God. The disillusionment continued through her death and the destruction of his family. Andrew's death only cemented his belief that either God was vengeful or didn't exist. He wished he had faith that he could offer up some words that would bring him comfort. There was only one person he could call on.

"Help me mom" he whispered. "Help Gracie." His eyes flew open as he heard the door creak open. He smiled as he saw Nathalie come through, holding Nikolas' hand. Though her brow seemed permanently knitted in worry, there was something lighter about her. He moved to get up but Nathalie waved him back down. Walking to the bed, she kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey P" she whispered. "You're a star." He winked at her. Leaning over him, she kissed her daughter on her forehead. "Hi my love" she said to the sleeping girl.

Patrick slowly sat up and ceded his place to Nathalie. "I've warmed it up for you" he said, touching her shoulder. She smiled gratefully and lying down, pulled her daughter into her arms. Patrick walked to where Nikolas stood and nodded to him. "Thank you" he said quietly.

Nikolas looked up in surprise. "Me? What for?"

"You being back here makes all the difference."

Nikolas gave him a half smile. "Don't nominate me for sainthood yet Patrick, I didn't come back for purely selfless reasons. I love her" he nodded to where Nathalie lay "and life without her just wasn't working for me."

"She was miserable too."

Grace stirred in the bed. "Mommy?" she whined plaintively.

"It's okay baby, I'm right here."

Struggling to open her eyes, she finally managed to look at her mother. "My eyes hurt."

"Then close them sweetie - you can just lie here with me."

Grace looked around the room. "Hi Nik!" She said attempting to be bright.

He grinned at her. "Hi Gracie."

"Mommy?"

"Yes Gracie?" she replied, stroking her hair. Another clump of her hair came out in Nathalie's hand. Closing her hand around it, she shoved it in her pocket to hide it from her daughter.

"Mommy?" she tugged on Nathalie's sweater. "Are you listnin?"

"Yes baby" she smiled, kissing her cheek. "I'm listening."

"I love you Mommy."

Nathalie's breath hitched and she smiled a watery smile at her daughter. It had been nearly a month since her daughter had spoken those magical words to her and hearing them was like a balm on a burn. "I love you too Gracie-lou - so very, very much."

"My eyes still hurt."

Nathalie put her hand over them. "Close them and go to sleep."

"Sing for me" she demanded.

_Go to sleep my darling, close your little eyes.  
Angels are above us, peeping through the skies.  
God is in his heaven, and he watch doth keep.  
Time for little children to go to sleep_

Both men felt their eyes well with tears as Nathalie's voice carried through the room. Once Grace was asleep, the three of them walked out to the hallway. Nikolas slid his arm around Nathalie's waist as she turned in to him, putting her head on his shoulder. Nathalie's studied Patrick's face and was concerned about how troubled he looked.

"P?"

"Why can't I call you N?" he leaned against the wall, stretching his legs in front of him and crossing them.

"Because it doesn't sound as cool as P. What's wrong?"

He shook his head lightly. "Nothing. You look good."

"Nice attempt at changing the subject..."

Nikolas pressed his lips against Nathalie's. "Did anyone ever check to see if you two were separated at birth?"

They both snorted. "Please."

"Well this is typical. Your daughter is sick and what are you doing, trying to decide which man to take to bed?"

The three friends turned in shock as they saw Nathalie's parents coming down the hall. Nikolas felt Nathalie stiffen immediately and held on to her to stop her from stepping away from him.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

Her mother raised her eyebrows. "Lest you forget, we are responsible for that child - and we've come to take her home. She can get care in DC."

Patrick straightened up and folded his arms across his chest. "No way. Grace is too critical to be moved and an important part of her treatment is to be around people and places she knows. That's here, not in DC."

"Dr. Drake.." John Harder started.

"And as one of Grace's physicians I will not, under any circumstances, sign off on her being moved."

"We'll take you to court" John sniffed. "Which one of these men are you slutting around with or is it both of them?"

Unable to control herself any longer, Nathalie slapped her father hard across the face. John stepped back from the force of the blow. "You just shut up."

"That's so typical of you" her mother snarled. "Absolutely no respect - you are a hateful child - it should have been you Nathalie - it should have been you instead of Gregory."

Both Patrick and Nikolas watched as she flinched from the accusation. She had long suspected that to be the case but the reality of hearing it proved to be more painful that she had imagined. She made a move to lunge towards her mother but Nikolas stepped in front of her and holding on to her arms behind him.

"Patrick?" he asked, nodding towards Nathalie.

He nodded and taking Nathalie by the hand, walked towards Grace's room.

Nikolas stepped forward. "I warned you both the first time we met that all roads to Nathalie came through me and that hasn't changed."

"In case you haven't noticed" Anne said condescendingly "we have custody of the children - not you and not our disgrace of a daughter."

Letting his inner Cassadine out to play, a small smile crossed his lips. "You've missed the point. I'm a patient person and I wait for openings. Imagine my surprise when it came to my attention that several of your backers were willing to sell their stake in your firm. I currently own 48% of your firm and the minute I become a majority owner, I will own you. You may want to think twice about your next move."

John opened his mouth to reply but Nathalie's loud cry from Grace's room interrupted all of them. Turning their heads they saw the code team rushing to her room. The young girl was crashing.

Bruce smiled as he snapped the photos. This would help him make the necessary plans for Phase 3.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 24

Robin leaned against the doorway and smiled. Her husband lay stretched out on the chocolate brown leather couch, his long legs threatening to slide off. The white afghan blanket lay haphazardly over him and his arms were wrapped around their son who lay sleeping on his chest. It was sight that made her heart full. She wanted to stand there for hours and watch them, the two most important people in her life, just be. She was pulled from her reverie by the sound of a key turning in the lock. Stepping away from the living room, she walked to the front door.

"Hey Brenda" she said quietly as she opened the door.

"Hey little sis!" Brenda squealed.

Robin put her fingers to her lips. "I have sleeping boys in the next room. Let's go to the kitchen." The two women walked to the kitchen and Brenda slid into a chair while Robin put the kettle on. Leaning against the counter, she watched as Brenda pulled one leg to her chest, resting her chin on her knee.

"Uh-oh" Robin smiled.

"Uh-oh?"

"I know that look - you're being chased by thoughts in your head."

"At this point it's hard to tell who is the chaser and who is the chasee."

Making a pot of tea and grabbing the bag of Oreos from the cupboard, Robin joined her at the table. "Okay, spill."

"I don't know where to begin" Brenda said quietly, pulling on her pant hem.

"Does it have to do with Noah?" Robin asked as she poured the tea.

"Yes....no.....sort of."

Robin smiled. "Oh dear. What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Robs I haven't been home in almost 8 months."

"I thought Port Charles was home?"

Brenda shook her head. "Nope - never was if I'm being truthful. Rome is home - I have a business there and friends and a life."

"You have friends, a life and a boyfriend here." Robin reminded her gently.

"He is not my boyfriend" she insisted.

Robin looked at her in surprise. "What do you mean he's not your boyfriend? Brenda, you have spent almost every available minute with him since you got home from Australia - how does that make him anything other than your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend implies commitment - we are not committed."

"Oh lord - did you find Patrick's old playbook or something?"

She shrugged. "It's just reaching a critical time for the business and I should probably be going back to deal with it."

"You don't want to go back" she observed. "You want to stay here - with Noah."

"Please" she scoffed. "If I was going to stay here for anyone, it would be for you."

Robin laughed lightly. "I'm pretty tough Bren, you're not going to hurt my feelings." The two women stared at each other. Brenda opened her mouth several times to speak but closed it again. Robin reached for her hand. "Bren, it's okay to want this with Noah."

"But what about my business - I spent years building my life there, establishing those contacts."

"Move your business here - move your life here. If you love Noah, it would be worth it."

"Love?" Brenda let her leg drop to the floor. "Who said anything about love?"

"I thought we had rules" Patrick's voice came from behind them. Both women turned as he walked in to the kitchen. He kissed Robin's cheek and passed Rian to her. "No lovey-dovey talk with Rian and I around."

"You said no public displays of affection, you never mentioned talk." Brenda teased.

"Fine, I'm amending the rule" he said.

"Do you want some dinner?" Robin asked.

He shook his head. "I promised Gracie I would be back at 7 to read her a story. I'm just going to dash upstairs and get changed." Turning his head, he looked at Brenda. "All joking aside - are you okay Brenda?"

She smiled brightly. "Absolutely! Valentine's Day is next week and I'm going to get Robin's opinion on which lingerie your dad would prefer." Robin burst out laughing as Patrick covered his ears.

"Evil!! Evil!!" Patrick cried as he sprinted from the room.

"You are mean" Robin smiled.

"Eh - the opportunity was there."

"Brenda - I love you and I want you to be happy but you have to want that for yourself too. It's okay to change from the plans you had laid out - sometimes the best things happen when you go off-track."

"Like Patrick?"

Robin kissed Rian's head. "And this one too."

xxxxxx

Patrick slid the puppet on his hand as he pushed open the door to Grace's room. "Patty!" she said weakly. "You came back."

"Of course I did munchkin and I brought a friend."

Grace looked past him. "Is Robin here too?"

He smiled as he sat down on the bed beside her. "No sweetie. Robin's at home with Rian. "This" he held up the puppet "is Schnookums"

"Schnookums? That's a silly name for a dog!" She cuddled her Curious George closer to her.

"Well he's a guard dog who uses his silly name to hide how powerful he is."

The young girl pulled the puppet from his hand and placed it on her lap as she snuggled closer to him. Patrick put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. "How do feel Gracie-lou?"

"I'm sick" she said.

"I know baby. Are you scared?"

"A little. Can I ask you somethn'?" She coughed forcefully.

"Of course you can - you can ask me anything."

"Am I going to die?"

Patrick's throat closed over and his chest tightened, it suddenly became very difficult to breathe. He inhaled sharply. "Why...why do you think that?"

"I'm not stupid Patty - I know cancer is bad."

Stroking her hair, he tried not to react as a clump of it came off in his hand. "Cancer can be bad..." he started.

"Am I going to die?"

He tried again. "We're all going to die at some point"

The young girl recognized his ducking of her question. "If I die do I go to heaven?"

"Yes" he said hoarsely. "If you die you'll go to heaven."

"Is Daddy in heaven?"

He kissed the top of her head and tightened his grip around her. "Yes angel, your daddy is in heaven."

"So if I die, I can see him again?" She shrugged "Dying is okay then."

Patrick tried to come up with some response but could not find the words. Blinking several times, he prayed the tears that were threatening would not fall as he didn't want to have to explain that to her. He pressed his lips against her head and sighed. "I love you Gracie-lou."

"I love you too Patty."

He lay beside her, singing to her as her eyes grew heavy from the medication. She finally fell asleep holding tightly to both Curious George and Schnookums. He closed his eyes and wished he remembered how to pray. Church had been a weekly outing for him as a child and for a long time he would pray before he went to sleep at night but somewhere around the time his mother fell ill, he got angry with God. The disillusionment continued through her death and the destruction of his family. Andrew's death only cemented his belief that either God was vengeful or didn't exist. He wished he had faith that he could offer up some words that would bring him comfort. There was only one person he could call on.

"Help me mom" he whispered. "Help Gracie." His eyes flew open as he heard the door creak open. He smiled as he saw Nathalie come through, holding Nikolas' hand. Though her brow seemed permanently knitted in worry, there was something lighter about her. He moved to get up but Nathalie waved him back down. Walking to the bed, she kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey P" she whispered. "You're a star." He winked at her. Leaning over him, she kissed her daughter on her forehead. "Hi my love" she said to the sleeping girl.

Patrick slowly sat up and ceded his place to Nathalie. "I've warmed it up for you" he said, touching her shoulder. She smiled gratefully and lying down, pulled her daughter into her arms. Patrick walked to where Nikolas stood and nodded to him. "Thank you" he said quietly.

Nikolas looked up in surprise. "Me? What for?"

"You being back here makes all the difference."

Nikolas gave him a half smile. "Don't nominate me for sainthood yet Patrick, I didn't come back for purely selfless reasons. I love her" he nodded to where Nathalie lay "and life without her just wasn't working for me."

"She was miserable too."

Grace stirred in the bed. "Mommy?" she whined plaintively.

"It's okay baby, I'm right here."

Struggling to open her eyes, she finally managed to look at her mother. "My eyes hurt."

"Then close them sweetie - you can just lie here with me."

Grace looked around the room. "Hi Nik!" She said attempting to be bright.

He grinned at her. "Hi Gracie."

"Mommy?"

"Yes Gracie?" she replied, stroking her hair. Another clump of her hair came out in Nathalie's hand. Closing her hand around it, she shoved it in her pocket to hide it from her daughter.

"Mommy?" she tugged on Nathalie's sweater. "Are you listnin?"

"Yes baby" she smiled, kissing her cheek. "I'm listening."

"I love you Mommy."

Nathalie's breath hitched and she smiled a watery smile at her daughter. It had been nearly a month since her daughter had spoken those magical words to her and hearing them was like a balm on a burn. "I love you too Gracie-lou - so very, very much."

"My eyes still hurt."

Nathalie put her hand over them. "Close them and go to sleep."

"Sing for me" she demanded.

_Go to sleep my darling, close your little eyes.  
Angels are above us, peeping through the skies.  
God is in his heaven, and he watch doth keep.  
Time for little children to go to sleep_

Both men felt their eyes well with tears as Nathalie's voice carried through the room. Once Grace was asleep, the three of them walked out to the hallway. Nikolas slid his arm around Nathalie's waist as she turned in to him, putting her head on his shoulder. Nathalie's studied Patrick's face and was concerned about how troubled he looked.

"P?"

"Why can't I call you N?" he leaned against the wall, stretching his legs in front of him and crossing them.

"Because it doesn't sound as cool as P. What's wrong?"

He shook his head lightly. "Nothing. You look good."

"Nice attempt at changing the subject..."

Nikolas pressed his lips against Nathalie's. "Did anyone ever check to see if you two were separated at birth?"

They both snorted. "Please."

"Well this is typical. Your daughter is sick and what are you doing, trying to decide which man to take to bed?"

The three friends turned in shock as they saw Nathalie's parents coming down the hall. Nikolas felt Nathalie stiffen immediately and held on to her to stop her from stepping away from him.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

Her mother raised her eyebrows. "Lest you forget, we are responsible for that child - and we've come to take her home. She can get care in DC."

Patrick straightened up and folded his arms across his chest. "No way. Grace is too critical to be moved and an important part of her treatment is to be around people and places she knows. That's here, not in DC."

"Dr. Drake.." John Harder started.

"And as one of Grace's physicians I will not, under any circumstances, sign off on her being moved."

"We'll take you to court" John sniffed. "Which one of these men are you slutting around with or is it both of them?"

Unable to control herself any longer, Nathalie slapped her father hard across the face. John stepped back from the force of the blow. "You just shut up."

"That's so typical of you" her mother snarled. "Absolutely no respect - you are a hateful child - it should have been you Nathalie - it should have been you instead of Gregory."

Both Patrick and Nikolas watched as she flinched from the accusation. She had long suspected that to be the case but the reality of hearing it proved to be more painful that she had imagined. She made a move to lunge towards her mother but Nikolas stepped in front of her and holding on to her arms behind him.

"Patrick?" he asked, nodding towards Nathalie.

He nodded and taking Nathalie by the hand, walked towards Grace's room.

Nikolas stepped forward. "I warned you both the first time we met that all roads to Nathalie came through me and that hasn't changed."

"In case you haven't noticed" Anne said condescendingly "we have custody of the children - not you and not our disgrace of a daughter."

Letting his inner Cassadine out to play, a small smile crossed his lips. "You've missed the point. I'm a patient person and I wait for openings. Imagine my surprise when it came to my attention that several of your backers were willing to sell their stake in your firm. I currently own 48% of your firm and the minute I become a majority owner, I will own you. You may want to think twice about your next move."

John opened his mouth to reply but Nathalie's loud cry from Grace's room interrupted all of them. Turning their heads they saw the code team rushing to her room. The young girl was crashing.

Bruce smiled as he snapped the photos. This would help him make the necessary plans for Phase 3.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Lulu exited her class and beamed as she saw Ethan leaning against the wall waiting for her. She weaved through the crush of students to get to him across the hall. "Hi" she said shyly.

Leaning in, Ethan kissed her quickly. "Hi yourself." He kept his hand on her waist. Though standing so close to her still made him nervous, he could stare into her bright green eyes forever. "So do you know what tomorrow is?"

"Wednesday?" Lulu offered.

He grinned. "Yes, it's Wednesday, it's also Valentine's Day."

"Oh, you mean Singles Awareness Day?"

"Are you single?" he teased.

"No" she answered cautiously.

"Then tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I'd like to invite you to my place for dinner."

"Dinner, huh? Can you cook?"

"I know my way around a box of Kraft dinner" Lulu scrunched up her face. "What? If I cut up some hotdog in it, doesn't that make it fancy?"

Lulu searched his face unsure whether he was teasing or not. Afraid to hurt his feelings, she tried to let him down easily. "Well you shouldn't have to cook - it's Valentine's Day - why don't I get some take out from Kelly's?"

Ethan started to laugh, a low rumbling laugh that slowly made its way to the surface. "Lesley Lu! You fell for that hook, line and sinker. I know how to cook and I promise it won't be Kraft Dinner and hotdog."

She swatted him playfully on the chest. "You're a very mean boy! Is there anything I can bring?"

"Just yourself and your skates."

"My skates?"

"Yup - skates." He bussed her quickly on the lips. "I gotta run to my International Commerce class. See you tomorrow, around 7 pm?"

"Okay" she smiled watching him leave. Celebrating Valentine's Day with someone other than her grandmother was going to be fun.

xxxxx

Lulu finished the last morsel of food, eyes closed, savouring it. Ethan watched her in amazement. "You really like food, don't you?"

"Like food?" she said, opening her eyes. "I LOVE food. God - where did you learn to make butter chicken?"

He shrugged. "My parents like Indian food and there is only so much take out that you can eat before you go broke so my mom and I took an Indian cooking course."

"You took a course with your mom? That's so cute!" Lulu watched as his blue eyes seemed to go cold for just a brief moment. She reached for his hand. "Does it hurt to talk about your mom?"

Ethan was silent for a moment. "Sometimes. Every once in a while it just seems to grab hold of me."

"You've never said but....how did your mom die?" Lulu felt his hand go clammy in hers and knew she had entered dangerous territory. "You don't have to tell me" she added.

He blew out a long breath. "I'm not comfortable talking about the details but my mom was murdered."

"Oh Ethan."

He shook his head. "It's okay." He stood up and began to clear the dishes away. "Did you bring your skates?" he asked from the kitchen.

Lulu felt a knot in her stomach. The circumstances around his mother's death were still obviously very raw and the last thing she wanted to do was upset him. Getting up from the table, she joined him in the kitchen, looping her fingers through his belt loop. "I'm sorry."

He smiled kindly. "There was no way for you to have known." He nipped at her lips. "It's fine - really. Now -did you bring skates?"

"I did" she grinned. "Dare I ask why?"

"Shinny baby."

"Excuse me?"

"Shinny - hockey - we're going to play on the outdoor rink at the park. Bundle up and let's go."

They walked hand in hand to the park and despite the bitter cold, Lulu felt surrounded by warmth. They sat side by side on the bench doing up their skates. Ethan snuck looks at her, wondering how he got so lucky to be spending time with someone as special as she was.

"What?" Lulu asked, catching him looking at her.

"Nothing" he grinned. "Just wondering how you're going to be able to play with those fancy figure skates on."

"I didn't know I'd need hockey skates."

"Are they new?"

She nodded. "I bought them today." Ethan narrowed his eys and put her legs on his lap, examining the blades. He started to laugh loudly. "What?" she said, trying to pull her legs away.

"You didn't get them sharpened."

"Sharpened? You mean you can't just use them out of the box?"

"Er, no." He kept laughing.

Lulu pouted. "You know, I'm not entirely sure I was supposed to know that."

He kissed her quickly and began to undo her laces. "That's okay. We'll do it another time."

"Did I ruin your Valentine's?"

He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. "I get to spend time with you - what more could I want?"

"I'm so sorry" Lulu apologized.

He shrugged. "It just gives us more time to make out." He stood up and took her by the hand. "Come on - I got Grand Theft Auto for my Xbox - I'll let you kick my ass."

"Let me? Let me? Please - you don't stand a chance against me" Bending down, she picked up a handful of snow and tossed it at him.

He froze as the snow trickled down his jacket. "You better start running" he threatened good naturedly as Lulu took off and he chased her. They sprinted the two blocks to his apartment with Ethan catching her just before the stairs to the front door. Picking her up, he twirled her around in his arms. "You can run but you can't escape."

Putting her mitten covered hands on his cheeks, she smiled. "I don't want to escape - I like it when you catch me." He lowered his lips to hers and slowly pulled them to him. Her hands went around his waist, pulling him closer to her.

Breathless, he pulled away from her and stroked her face. "You are the most beautiful girl Lulu."

Picking her up, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her, squealing, to his apartment. He laid her down on his couch and lowered himself onto her. He pressed his lips against her neck and left a trail of wet kisses as he made his way to her ear. She ran her hands through his hair and hooked her leg around his hip, pulling him in closer to her. He slipped his hand under her sweater and slowly massaged her breasts, eliciting a small moan from the back of Lulu's throat. She searched out his mouth and swept her tongue in his mouth, hungrily sucking on his lips. She could feel his arousal growing and pressing against her. She pushed in to him and heard his breath hitch. Grabbing hold of the hem of his sweater, she pulled it over his head and tossed it to the side. She wondrously traced her hands over his smooth skin. Kissing his neck, she moved to the hollow of his neck and worked her tongue in small circles. Ethan began to pant, completely intoxicated by her. Opening his eyes, he slowly pulled away from her and sat up. "We have to stop."

"What? Why?" Lulu sat up in confusion, pulling her sweater down. Her lips were swollen from kissing and her body ached in ways she didn't know was possible. "Did I do something wrong?"

Ethan gave her a small smile and looked down at his very obvious erection. "Um, no, you were doing everything just fine."

"Then why are we stopping?"

Reaching out with his hand, he threaded his fingers through his hair. "Because the next step is a big one and I don't think we should rush it."

"Because I have HIV" she stated, pulling away from him.

"No" he said emphatically, moving closer towards her. "Not because you have HIV but because you've never had sex before Lulu and it will change our relationship when we do - I want to make sure I'm ready and that you're ready."

"Oh" she said flatly, not quiet believing him. "Well I should probably get going." Moving to stand up, Ethan grabbed hold of her hips and pulled her back on to the couch.

"I don't want you to leave."

"But you don't want to sleep with me."

"It's not a question of want - Lulu, I want to sleep with you but as I said, I don't think we should rush it. That doesn't mean you have to go home - stay here tonight."

"What?" She shook her head. "Where...where would I sleep?"

He kissed her forehead. "In my bed - in my arms. Lulu" Ethan inhaled sharply. "I'm falling hard for you and I want to spend all my time with you. Sex between you and I is going to be amazing when it happens. Stay with me tonight."

She looked into his eyes and saw the earnestness in them, she knew he was being honest and that he was looking out for both of them. The idea of spending the night wrapped in his arms was incredibly appealing and she didn't have the strength to resist.

"Okay" she smiled. "But first I kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto and then we snuggle."

"Deal"  
xxxxxx

Nikolas leaned back against Nathalie, letting the water slosh around them, she wrapped her arms around his chest, slowly running them over his skin. He had been surprised when she said she wanted to leave the hospital for the night. Since Grace's cardiac arrest she had only spent a few hours away from the hospital and mostly at Nikolas' insistence. They had arrived home at Wyndermere and Nikolas was surprised to see the kitchen lit with candles and the table set for dinner. There was a bottle of wine opened on the table and silver domes covered the plates. Nathalie had smiled at him and wished him a happy Valentine's Day. Nikolas groaned, realizing he had forgotten the day and didn't even have a bouquet of flowers for her. She reminded him that he was all she needed. Having enjoyed a long, leisurely dinner where they talked easily, Nathalie led him upstairs to their bedroom and in to the bathroom where the large marble tub was filled with water and rose petals. She pressed play on the cd player and Frank Sinatra's voice filled the room. Kissing him, she slowly removed his clothing, dropping them to the floor. He closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her hands and lips on him, enjoying her taking control. They sank in to the tub together letting the hot water loosen their muscles. Saying little, they melted in to each other, taking the opportunity to just be.

He pushed back against her, feeling her breasts against his skin, he trailed his hands along her legs. "Are you getting fresh with me Nikolas?" she asked playfully.

"Maybe" he said. He took one of her hands from his chest and placed it between his legs.

Nathalie's gave a small gasp as she touched his arousal, unaware that he was so hard. She stroked him gently. "Looks like you have a head start on me."

"I can catch you up in no time" he purred.

She pushed against his hips. "I have no doubt."

He turned around in the tub to face her, linking his fingers through hers. "You know, the last time we made love we didn't use any protection" he said softly. He was confused as he watched Nathalie's face fall.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry Nik."

"What are you sorry for?"

"I understand how with a past like mine you might be worried but I can assure you that I've been regularly tested and I've never tested positive for any STDs and before you, Drew had been my only lover for almost eight years."

He shook his head. "Are you...do you think...Nathalie" he cupped her face with his hand. "I'm not worried about your past and that's not why I brought it up."

"Oh."

"I'm just...I guess - how would you feel if we had a baby together?"

Nathalie blew out a small breath. "I..uh...I don't know." Looking into Nikolas' eyes and seeing the complete unadulterated love, she felt an unexpected stirring. "You are the man I love and if I were to have another baby I would want it to be with you."

"Really?" he asked hopefully.

"Really" she confirmed. "Nikolas I never expected to fall in love again - I actually never expected to fall in love at all - and to have you in my life is a gift. A baby - our baby" her eyes filled with tears. "it would be a blessing."

Leaning forward, Nikolas captured her lips in a soft kiss. "So where do we go from here?"

She ran her thumbs over his brows. "How about we don't worry or plan and just take it as it comes? If I become pregnant - great and if I don't right away, we won't stress."

Nikolas stood up in the tub, rivulets of water dripping down his body. Nathalie wasn't sure she had seen a more beautiful sight. Stepping from the tub, he wrapped a towel around his waist. Grabbing a second towel, he held it open to her and she got out of the tub, letting him wrap it around her. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He lay her down on the bed, letting his towel drop.

"What are you doing?" she asked, smiling.

"Taking it as it comes."

Crawling on the bed beside her he flicked open her towel, her body exposed to him. Seeing his eyes darken with desire, Nathalie arched her body upwards, offering herself to him. He closed his mouth hotly over hers, his tongue sweeping in her mouth, their kisses were hungry and needful. He worked his way down her body, lavishing her breasts with kisses. He grazed his teeth over her nipples causing her to hiss. Massaging one breast with his hand while taking the other in his mouth, Nathalie moaned, urging him to take more. He trailed his tongue down her body, dragging it over her hip bone. He kissed the soft flesh of her inner thigh before bringing his mouth over her sex and kissing her hard.

"Oh god, Nik!" Nathalie hissed.

He dragged his tongue along the entrance of her engorged folds, dipping in her slick entrance. Nathalie bent her knees, tilting her pelvis forward to him. He lapped slowly at her wetness. "You taste so good" he said huskily. She fisted his hair as he continued to work his tongue inside her. She writhed underneath him, every nerve ending on fire as he took her clit in his mouth and began to suck greedily on it. "Please don't stop" she panted.

Nikolas slipped two fingers inside her and began to move them around as he felt her clench around him, telling him she was close. His erection throbbed painfully, desperate for some attention but he wanted to bring her off first. Her hips undulated against his hand, riding it. He looked up at her, her body arched off the bed and she pulled on her nipples. Her mouth hung open, breathless. Taking her clit between his teeth, her body trembled and twitched as she started to come. Her head flopped from side to side, crying his name as he worked her until she was spent.

Her breathing was shallow as she tried to recover from Nikolas' ministrations. Lying beside her, he stroked her skin, teasing her breasts. She opened her eyes and seeing his cock jutting forward, smiled. "I think I should do something about that " she said, reaching her hand out to touch the glistening head. Moving down on the bed, she ran her tongue over it. Taking him in the warmth of her mouth, she slowly moved up and down his length. Nikolas fisted the sheets and bit his lip to keep from crying out. Letting go of him with a pop, she pushed him onto his back and lowered herself on to him.

"Fuck Nat" he hissed as he was buried inside her.

Leaning forward, she rested her hands on either side of his head kissing him hard as she rode him. Her body, not quite recovered from her first climax was moving quickly to the second. He grabbed her hips pushing her down hard in to him as hips lifted to meet hers. Their eyes locked on each other as they moved as one. Nikolas felt his stomach coil and tighten and unable to hold back any longer came hard against her, filling her. Nathalie collapsed on him, both breathless.

"Happy Valentine's Day" he whispered into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

xxxxxx

Noah looked nervously around his apartment. He had champagne chilling, candles lit and a bouquet of flowers the sales girl had assured him would blow his girlfriend's socks off. It had been a long time since Valentine's Day was anything other than another day on the calendar for him. Even when he was married, he and Mattie used to laugh at the idea of needing a day to celebrate love. Every day was Valentine's Day for them. But that was then and this was now. Brenda was very different than most of the women he had known in his life and he truly wanted to give her a night to remember. He had struggled for weeks trying to find the appropriate gift for her. He had even contemplated asking Patrick for his help and then the idea came to him. He looked at the square box wrapped in red paper with a red and white bow on it. It was a bold move on his part but the gift was a true representation of how he felt about her and he wanted her to know.

The doorbell rang and he took one last look in the mirror. He had bumped into Nathalie at the hospital and when he told her what he had planned, she insisted on taking him shopping saying it was a good excuse for her to get out of the hospital. It had been a fun outing having Nathalie fuss over him, chiding him for trying to hide under oversized shirts and baggy pants. She got him into a pair of tailored black wool pants and a dark green cashmere turtleneck sweater. Not normally vain he did admire Nathalie's taste. Opening the door, he grinned as he saw Brenda standing before him in a full length coat with sunglasses on.

"Sunglasses Brenda?" he asked in amusement.

"What can I say - the future is so bright, I gotta wear shades." She brushed passed him, coming to a stop at the scene Noah created. "Wow" she said, taking her glasses off.

"You like?" he asked wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck.

Turning around in her arms she beamed. "I like very much." Standing on her tiptoes, she captured his mouth coaxing his lips apart and tangling her tongue with his. Stroking her face, he pulled away from their kiss.

"Why don't you take your coat off and I'll pour the champagne?"

"Champagne? Are you trying to seduce me Dr. Drake?"

"Is it working?" he asked, walking to the kitchen.

"Damn straight it is" she called to him. She threw her coat over the chair and sat down on the couch, leaning back with her legs stretched before her. Noah returned and nearly dropped the two champagne flutes, his containing gingerale.

"Sweet mother of god" he whispered.

Brenda was reclined dressed in nothing more than a sheer black lace teddy with garters and black silk stockings. The plunging neckline of her teddy came to a stop just below her breasts where she had placed a large red bow. "Happy Valentine's Day" she said seductively. "I'm your gift."

He stared at her, completely shell shocked. "Wo...wo..wow" he said. ".ever." He walked towards the couch handing her a glass of champagne.

"Do you want to unwrap me?" she purred.

"You have no idea" he said sitting down beside her. "Brenda you are so beautiful." They clinked glasses and toasted each other. "But before I unwrap my gift, would you like to unwrap yours?"

Her eyes danced with excitement. "Yes please" she said rubbing her hands together.

Noah reached for the box and tried to steady his hand before giving it to her. She looked at him, grinning as she undid the bow and slowly peeled the paper from the box. She pried the lid from the box and gasped as she saw a key nestled amid the velvet lining. Her eyes were wide with surprise as she looked up at him.

"Move in with me Brenda - come and live with me" he asked earnestly.

"Noah - I..." too dumbstruck to speak, she stared at the key.

"We work Brenda and I love you. You are here almost all the time and I want you here permanently. So what do you say? Ready to make a home with me?"

She looked at his kind face. His eyes were sincere and warm - warmer than almost any man she had ever known. He had been kind and patient with her, giving her as much room to move around as she needed so she wouldn't feel boxed in. He loved her and showed her on a regular basis what love was supposed to be. It was a lesson she would be forever grateful for.

"I'm....." she breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry Noah I can't."

"Well I admit the apartment is a little simple but if you don't like it we can find a new one together and you can decorate it however you'd like."

She shook her head. "No...I mean - I can't do this - I think you are a truly amazing man and you have changed my life but this.....I just can't." She stood up and walked to the chair, pulling her coat on. Stunned, Noah sat frozen in place and watched her as she put her hand on the door.

Turning around, she looked at him one last time. "I'm sorry Noah" Pulling the door shut behind her, she sprinted down the stairs and from his building.

**********

"Can I take the blindfold off yet?" Patrick whined.

"If you don't stop your whinging, I may not let you take it off at all" Robin warned, bringing the car to a stop. Getting out, she fished the overnight bag out of the trunk and then opened the passenger door, helping Patrick stand up.

"Seriously, is this necessary?"

"You hate not being in control" she remarked.

"Hello? Pot this is kettle calling."

"Suck it up buttercup" she said, guiding him up the stairs.

"I'd rather suck on a few other things....wait - is this some kind of candid camera thing and I'm surrounded by nuns and priests?"

"Trust me baby, if there are nuns and priests here we are going to be having a completely different type of Valentine's celebration." Robin opened the door and grimaced as Patrick banged his toe on the door jam.

"Dammit" he swore. He stopped as he heard the fire crackling. "Okay, this sounds promising." Robin rolled her eyes as she dropped the overnight bag near the bed and coming back finally took of his blindfold. He blinked several times as his eyes adjusted to the light. A small started at the corner of his lips until he was grinning. "The cabin" he looked at her. "You are such a romantic."

She naked her arms around his waist. "It's our place."

"It is" he kissed the top of her head.

"No, I mean it's our place. I bought it from Jax."

He looked at her in surprise. "Aren't you the devious one"

"Did you say deviant or devious?"

"Both" he teased, nipping at her lips. Taking her by the hand he led her to the chair by the fireplace and pulled her on to his lap. "This makes a nice change from last year's Valentine's."

"You mean because we're not trying to solve some kind of horrible encephalitis outbreak?"

"That" he smiled "and you and I are together."

"Not only are we together but we have a baby."

"And in four days we will be making baby number two." He laced her fingers through his. "You know what that means?"

"Baby making practice?"

"You better believe it."

She gently stroked his face. "You know, I know I tell you often that I love you but I also want to remind that I meant what I said at our wedding - you are kind and good - you make me believe that anything is possible and that there is no fear in reaching for the moon because even if I fail, I still land among the stars. Building a family with you will be the greatest accomplishment of my life and I am so looking forward to creating our second child."

Patrick's eyes welled with tears as he ran his thumb along her lips. "I don't know what I did to deserve you but I hit the jackpot with you." Cupping her face, he kissed her tenderly, taking the time to savour her taste. She parted her lips, allowing his tongue access to her mouth where she greedily sucked on his tongue, eliciting a small moan from him. His arousal was already making itself known under her lap and she rotated her hips in small circles, increasing the pressure on it. Patrick inhaled sharply, tossing his head back as Robin moved her mouth to his neck, nipping at the soft skin. Reaching a hand up, he undid the zipper of her fleece vest and began to make quick work of the buttons on her blouse. Pushing both from her shoulders, he dropped his lips against her now bare skin. Robin ran her hands through his hair as worked his tongue in the hollow of her neck. Feeling his erection straining against his pants, he stood up from the chair with Robin in his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her gently on the covers before heading back to the table.

"Where are you going?" she asked, suddenly missing the contact of his body.

"I'll be right there." Lifting up their coats that they had piled on the table, he found what he was looking for and walked back to the bed. He pulled off his brown wool sweater and tossed it to the floor. Robin licked her lips as she took in his chest, the ripple of his abs and the way his jeans hung from his hips. The heat rushed to her centre and she shifted on the bed in response. Patrick held up the blindfold and smirked.

"Your turn."

She looked at him wide eyed. "What?"

He crawled on the bed towards her. "Your turn." He folded the scarf in half and wrapped it around her eyes, tying it tightly behind her head. "You okay?" he asked softly.

She laid back against the pillow and stretched her arms over her head. "I guess I better let you have your way with me." Patrick cupped his hand over his erection to try and stem the throbbing. Getting up from the bed he quickly undid his pants and slid them and his boxers off before lying down next to Robin. She heard the familiar sound of the zipper and then felt the bed creak as he returned. She jumped slightly as he put his hand on her and undid her jeans, pulling them from her legs. Tossing them to the side, he lay on top of her, letting her feel his body on hers. "Oh Patrick" she moaned.

He left a trail of wet, hot kisses on her neck while working his hands up her smooth legs. He gently spread her legs apart and flattened his palm against her apex. He gasped at the dampness of her panties. "God. I love how wet you are." Robin spread her legs further giving him greater access. Every movement, every touch was heightened for her. Her body trembled with anticipation of where he would touch her next. Moving slowly down her body, he nestled his face against her damp panties, breathing in the heady scent. Robin jerked as she felt her warmth breath against her skin.

"Oh god Patrick" she writhed underneath him. Patrick's cock began to pulse and throb as he watched her with her eyes covered and breathing heavily through her mouth. He licked at her, dragging his tongue along the edge of the lace. He continued to tease her with his tongue, tracing her outline as her head began to thrash from one side to the other. Robin pulled her breasts from their cups and kneaded them urgently, her body on fire. Pushing her panties to the side, he teasingly ran his finger along the outside of her folds before slowly dipping it inside her. He continued to nibble on her clit while slipping a second finger inside thrusting his hand against her. She whimpered as he removed his hand and unable to see what he was going to do next, she lifted her hips from the bed, in search of his hands. He grabbed hold of her panties and pulled them down her legs. Letting her hips fall back to the bed she spread her legs widely, opening herself completely to him.

The heat from the fireplace warmed the cabin significantly and their bodies were glistening with sweat. Patrick was almost ready to bury himself deep inside her but wanted her to be teetering on the precipice before he did so. Using his thumb, he increased the friction on her clit while slipping two fingers back inside her and pumping harder with her hand. Removing his hand again, he reached up and undid her bra, removing the last piece of material between them. He closed his mouth over her breast and tugged and rolled her other nipple with his hand.

"Fuck me Patrick" she begged.

"Ask me again." His eyes were dark pools of desire, his entire body twitching just from touching her.

"." she hissed.

Reaching for the condom he had placed on the bedside table, he sheathed himself quickly. Positioning himself at her slick entrance, he pushed just the tip in before withdrawing it. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his hips in an effort to keep him close. Pushing in again, he went a little further before pulling all the way out as she moaned and thrashed her head from side to side. Not sure he could hang on much longer, he plunged all the way in her, hard. They both gasped at the contact. Reaching up, he pulled the blindfold from her eyes as he started to pump in and out of her. Reaching up for his neck, she pulled him towards her kissing him hard. He felt her walls tighten around him and it was all he needed as his climax tore through him. He cried out her name as she pushed her hips into his. Feeling him come, she trembled and twitched before her body was rocked with spasms.

They lay tangled in each other, capturing their breath; her lips were still pressed against his. "I love you Robin - more and more every day."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 26

Lulu exited her class and beamed as she saw Ethan leaning against the wall waiting for her. She weaved through the crush of students to get to him across the hall. "Hi" she said shyly.

Leaning in, Ethan kissed her quickly. "Hi yourself." He kept his hand on her waist. Though standing so close to her still made him nervous, he could stare into her bright green eyes forever. "So do you know what tomorrow is?"

"Wednesday?" Lulu offered.

He grinned. "Yes, it's Wednesday, it's also Valentine's Day."

"Oh, you mean Singles Awareness Day?"

"Are you single?" he teased.

"No" she answered cautiously.

"Then tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I'd like to invite you to my place for dinner."

"Dinner, huh? Can you cook?"

"I know my way around a box of Kraft dinner" Lulu scrunched up her face. "What? If I cut up some hotdog in it, doesn't that make it fancy?"

Lulu searched his face unsure whether he was teasing or not. Afraid to hurt his feelings, she tried to let him down easily. "Well you shouldn't have to cook - it's Valentine's Day - why don't I get some take out from Kelly's?"

Ethan started to laugh, a low rumbling laugh that slowly made its way to the surface. "Lesley Lu! You fell for that hook, line and sinker. I know how to cook and I promise it won't be Kraft Dinner and hotdog."

She swatted him playfully on the chest. "You're a very mean boy! Is there anything I can bring?"

"Just yourself and your skates."

"My skates?"

"Yup - skates." He bussed her quickly on the lips. "I gotta run to my International Commerce class. See you tomorrow, around 7 pm?"

"Okay" she smiled watching him leave. Celebrating Valentine's Day with someone other than her grandmother was going to be fun.

xxxxx

Lulu finished the last morsel of food, eyes closed, savouring it. Ethan watched her in amazement. "You really like food, don't you?"

"Like food?" she said, opening her eyes. "I LOVE food. God - where did you learn to make butter chicken?"

He shrugged. "My parents like Indian food and there is only so much take out that you can eat before you go broke so my mom and I took an Indian cooking course."

"You took a course with your mom? That's so cute!" Lulu watched as his blue eyes seemed to go cold for just a brief moment. She reached for his hand. "Does it hurt to talk about your mom?"

Ethan was silent for a moment. "Sometimes. Every once in a while it just seems to grab hold of me."

"You've never said but....how did your mom die?" Lulu felt his hand go clammy in hers and knew she had entered dangerous territory. "You don't have to tell me" she added.

He blew out a long breath. "I'm not comfortable talking about the details but my mom was murdered."

"Oh Ethan."

He shook his head. "It's okay." He stood up and began to clear the dishes away. "Did you bring your skates?" he asked from the kitchen.

Lulu felt a knot in her stomach. The circumstances around his mother's death were still obviously very raw and the last thing she wanted to do was upset him. Getting up from the table, she joined him in the kitchen, looping her fingers through his belt loop. "I'm sorry."

He smiled kindly. "There was no way for you to have known." He nipped at her lips. "It's fine - really. Now -did you bring skates?"

"I did" she grinned. "Dare I ask why?"

"Shinny baby."

"Excuse me?"

"Shinny - hockey - we're going to play on the outdoor rink at the park. Bundle up and let's go."

They walked hand in hand to the park and despite the bitter cold, Lulu felt surrounded by warmth. They sat side by side on the bench doing up their skates. Ethan snuck looks at her, wondering how he got so lucky to be spending time with someone as special as she was.

"What?" Lulu asked, catching him looking at her.

"Nothing" he grinned. "Just wondering how you're going to be able to play with those fancy figure skates on."

"I didn't know I'd need hockey skates."

"Are they new?"

She nodded. "I bought them today." Ethan narrowed his eys and put her legs on his lap, examining the blades. He started to laugh loudly. "What?" she said, trying to pull her legs away.

"You didn't get them sharpened."

"Sharpened? You mean you can't just use them out of the box?"

"Er, no." He kept laughing.

Lulu pouted. "You know, I'm not entirely sure I was supposed to know that."

He kissed her quickly and began to undo her laces. "That's okay. We'll do it another time."

"Did I ruin your Valentine's?"

He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. "I get to spend time with you - what more could I want?"

"I'm so sorry" Lulu apologized.

He shrugged. "It just gives us more time to make out." He stood up and took her by the hand. "Come on - I got Grand Theft Auto for my Xbox - I'll let you kick my ass."

"Let me? Let me? Please - you don't stand a chance against me" Bending down, she picked up a handful of snow and tossed it at him.

He froze as the snow trickled down his jacket. "You better start running" he threatened good naturedly as Lulu took off and he chased her. They sprinted the two blocks to his apartment with Ethan catching her just before the stairs to the front door. Picking her up, he twirled her around in his arms. "You can run but you can't escape."

Putting her mitten covered hands on his cheeks, she smiled. "I don't want to escape - I like it when you catch me." He lowered his lips to hers and slowly pulled them to him. Her hands went around his waist, pulling him closer to her.

Breathless, he pulled away from her and stroked her face. "You are the most beautiful girl Lulu."

Picking her up, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her, squealing, to his apartment. He laid her down on his couch and lowered himself onto her. He pressed his lips against her neck and left a trail of wet kisses as he made his way to her ear. She ran her hands through his hair and hooked her leg around his hip, pulling him in closer to her. He slipped his hand under her sweater and slowly massaged her breasts, eliciting a small moan from the back of Lulu's throat. She searched out his mouth and swept her tongue in his mouth, hungrily sucking on his lips. She could feel his arousal growing and pressing against her. She pushed in to him and heard his breath hitch. Grabbing hold of the hem of his sweater, she pulled it over his head and tossed it to the side. She wondrously traced her hands over his smooth skin. Kissing his neck, she moved to the hollow of his neck and worked her tongue in small circles. Ethan began to pant, completely intoxicated by her. Opening his eyes, he slowly pulled away from her and sat up. "We have to stop."

"What? Why?" Lulu sat up in confusion, pulling her sweater down. Her lips were swollen from kissing and her body ached in ways she didn't know was possible. "Did I do something wrong?"

Ethan gave her a small smile and looked down at his very obvious erection. "Um, no, you were doing everything just fine."

"Then why are we stopping?"

Reaching out with his hand, he threaded his fingers through his hair. "Because the next step is a big one and I don't think we should rush it."

"Because I have HIV" she stated, pulling away from him.

"No" he said emphatically, moving closer towards her. "Not because you have HIV but because you've never had sex before Lulu and it will change our relationship when we do - I want to make sure I'm ready and that you're ready."

"Oh" she said flatly, not quiet believing him. "Well I should probably get going." Moving to stand up, Ethan grabbed hold of her hips and pulled her back on to the couch.

"I don't want you to leave."

"But you don't want to sleep with me."

"It's not a question of want - Lulu, I want to sleep with you but as I said, I don't think we should rush it. That doesn't mean you have to go home - stay here tonight."

"What?" She shook her head. "Where...where would I sleep?"

He kissed her forehead. "In my bed - in my arms. Lulu" Ethan inhaled sharply. "I'm falling hard for you and I want to spend all my time with you. Sex between you and I is going to be amazing when it happens. Stay with me tonight."

She looked into his eyes and saw the earnestness in them, she knew he was being honest and that he was looking out for both of them. The idea of spending the night wrapped in his arms was incredibly appealing and she didn't have the strength to resist.

"Okay" she smiled. "But first I kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto and then we snuggle."

"Deal"  
xxxxxx

Nikolas leaned back against Nathalie, letting the water slosh around them, she wrapped her arms around his chest, slowly running them over his skin. He had been surprised when she said she wanted to leave the hospital for the night. Since Grace's cardiac arrest she had only spent a few hours away from the hospital and mostly at Nikolas' insistence. They had arrived home at Wyndermere and Nikolas was surprised to see the kitchen lit with candles and the table set for dinner. There was a bottle of wine opened on the table and silver domes covered the plates. Nathalie had smiled at him and wished him a happy Valentine's Day. Nikolas groaned, realizing he had forgotten the day and didn't even have a bouquet of flowers for her. She reminded him that he was all she needed. Having enjoyed a long, leisurely dinner where they talked easily, Nathalie led him upstairs to their bedroom and in to the bathroom where the large marble tub was filled with water and rose petals. She pressed play on the cd player and Frank Sinatra's voice filled the room. Kissing him, she slowly removed his clothing, dropping them to the floor. He closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her hands and lips on him, enjoying her taking control. They sank in to the tub together letting the hot water loosen their muscles. Saying little, they melted in to each other, taking the opportunity to just be.

He pushed back against her, feeling her breasts against his skin, he trailed his hands along her legs. "Are you getting fresh with me Nikolas?" she asked playfully.

"Maybe" he said. He took one of her hands from his chest and placed it between his legs.

Nathalie's gave a small gasp as she touched his arousal, unaware that he was so hard. She stroked him gently. "Looks like you have a head start on me."

"I can catch you up in no time" he purred.

She pushed against his hips. "I have no doubt."

He turned around in the tub to face her, linking his fingers through hers. "You know, the last time we made love we didn't use any protection" he said softly. He was confused as he watched Nathalie's face fall.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry Nik."

"What are you sorry for?"

"I understand how with a past like mine you might be worried but I can assure you that I've been regularly tested and I've never tested positive for any STDs and before you, Drew had been my only lover for almost eight years."

He shook his head. "Are you...do you think...Nathalie" he cupped her face with his hand. "I'm not worried about your past and that's not why I brought it up."

"Oh."

"I'm just...I guess - how would you feel if we had a baby together?"

Nathalie blew out a small breath. "I..uh...I don't know." Looking into Nikolas' eyes and seeing the complete unadulterated love, she felt an unexpected stirring. "You are the man I love and if I were to have another baby I would want it to be with you."

"Really?" he asked hopefully.

"Really" she confirmed. "Nikolas I never expected to fall in love again - I actually never expected to fall in love at all - and to have you in my life is a gift. A baby - our baby" her eyes filled with tears. "it would be a blessing."

Leaning forward, Nikolas captured her lips in a soft kiss. "So where do we go from here?"

She ran her thumbs over his brows. "How about we don't worry or plan and just take it as it comes? If I become pregnant - great and if I don't right away, we won't stress."

Nikolas stood up in the tub, rivulets of water dripping down his body. Nathalie wasn't sure she had seen a more beautiful sight. Stepping from the tub, he wrapped a towel around his waist. Grabbing a second towel, he held it open to her and she got out of the tub, letting him wrap it around her. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He lay her down on the bed, letting his towel drop.

"What are you doing?" she asked, smiling.

"Taking it as it comes."

Crawling on the bed beside her he flicked open her towel, her body exposed to him. Seeing his eyes darken with desire, Nathalie arched her body upwards, offering herself to him. He closed his mouth hotly over hers, his tongue sweeping in her mouth, their kisses were hungry and needful. He worked his way down her body, lavishing her breasts with kisses. He grazed his teeth over her nipples causing her to hiss. Massaging one breast with his hand while taking the other in his mouth, Nathalie moaned, urging him to take more. He trailed his tongue down her body, dragging it over her hip bone. He kissed the soft flesh of her inner thigh before bringing his mouth over her sex and kissing her hard.

"Oh god, Nik!" Nathalie hissed.

He dragged his tongue along the entrance of her engorged folds, dipping in her slick entrance. Nathalie bent her knees, tilting her pelvis forward to him. He lapped slowly at her wetness. "You taste so good" he said huskily. She fisted his hair as he continued to work his tongue inside her. She writhed underneath him, every nerve ending on fire as he took her clit in his mouth and began to suck greedily on it. "Please don't stop" she panted.

Nikolas slipped two fingers inside her and began to move them around as he felt her clench around him, telling him she was close. His erection throbbed painfully, desperate for some attention but he wanted to bring her off first. Her hips undulated against his hand, riding it. He looked up at her, her body arched off the bed and she pulled on her nipples. Her mouth hung open, breathless. Taking her clit between his teeth, her body trembled and twitched as she started to come. Her head flopped from side to side, crying his name as he worked her until she was spent.

Her breathing was shallow as she tried to recover from Nikolas' ministrations. Lying beside her, he stroked her skin, teasing her breasts. She opened her eyes and seeing his cock jutting forward, smiled. "I think I should do something about that " she said, reaching her hand out to touch the glistening head. Moving down on the bed, she ran her tongue over it. Taking him in the warmth of her mouth, she slowly moved up and down his length. Nikolas fisted the sheets and bit his lip to keep from crying out. Letting go of him with a pop, she pushed him onto his back and lowered herself on to him.

"Fuck Nat" he hissed as he was buried inside her.

Leaning forward, she rested her hands on either side of his head kissing him hard as she rode him. Her body, not quite recovered from her first climax was moving quickly to the second. He grabbed her hips pushing her down hard in to him as hips lifted to meet hers. Their eyes locked on each other as they moved as one. Nikolas felt his stomach coil and tighten and unable to hold back any longer came hard against her, filling her. Nathalie collapsed on him, both breathless.

"Happy Valentine's Day" he whispered into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

xxxxxx

Noah looked nervously around his apartment. He had champagne chilling, candles lit and a bouquet of flowers the sales girl had assured him would blow his girlfriend's socks off. It had been a long time since Valentine's Day was anything other than another day on the calendar for him. Even when he was married, he and Mattie used to laugh at the idea of needing a day to celebrate love. Every day was Valentine's Day for them. But that was then and this was now. Brenda was very different than most of the women he had known in his life and he truly wanted to give her a night to remember. He had struggled for weeks trying to find the appropriate gift for her. He had even contemplated asking Patrick for his help and then the idea came to him. He looked at the square box wrapped in red paper with a red and white bow on it. It was a bold move on his part but the gift was a true representation of how he felt about her and he wanted her to know.

The doorbell rang and he took one last look in the mirror. He had bumped into Nathalie at the hospital and when he told her what he had planned, she insisted on taking him shopping saying it was a good excuse for her to get out of the hospital. It had been a fun outing having Nathalie fuss over him, chiding him for trying to hide under oversized shirts and baggy pants. She got him into a pair of tailored black wool pants and a dark green cashmere turtleneck sweater. Not normally vain he did admire Nathalie's taste. Opening the door, he grinned as he saw Brenda standing before him in a full length coat with sunglasses on.

"Sunglasses Brenda?" he asked in amusement.

"What can I say - the future is so bright, I gotta wear shades." She brushed passed him, coming to a stop at the scene Noah created. "Wow" she said, taking her glasses off.

"You like?" he asked wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck.

Turning around in her arms she beamed. "I like very much." Standing on her tiptoes, she captured his mouth coaxing his lips apart and tangling her tongue with his. Stroking her face, he pulled away from their kiss.

"Why don't you take your coat off and I'll pour the champagne?"

"Champagne? Are you trying to seduce me Dr. Drake?"

"Is it working?" he asked, walking to the kitchen.

"Damn straight it is" she called to him. She threw her coat over the chair and sat down on the couch, leaning back with her legs stretched before her. Noah returned and nearly dropped the two champagne flutes, his containing gingerale.

"Sweet mother of god" he whispered.

Brenda was reclined dressed in nothing more than a sheer black lace teddy with garters and black silk stockings. The plunging neckline of her teddy came to a stop just below her breasts where she had placed a large red bow. "Happy Valentine's Day" she said seductively. "I'm your gift."

He stared at her, completely shell shocked. "Wo...wo..wow" he said. ".ever." He walked towards the couch handing her a glass of champagne.

"Do you want to unwrap me?" she purred.

"You have no idea" he said sitting down beside her. "Brenda you are so beautiful." They clinked glasses and toasted each other. "But before I unwrap my gift, would you like to unwrap yours?"

Her eyes danced with excitement. "Yes please" she said rubbing her hands together.

Noah reached for the box and tried to steady his hand before giving it to her. She looked at him, grinning as she undid the bow and slowly peeled the paper from the box. She pried the lid from the box and gasped as she saw a key nestled amid the velvet lining. Her eyes were wide with surprise as she looked up at him.

"Move in with me Brenda - come and live with me" he asked earnestly.

"Noah - I..." too dumbstruck to speak, she stared at the key.

"We work Brenda and I love you. You are here almost all the time and I want you here permanently. So what do you say? Ready to make a home with me?"

She looked at his kind face. His eyes were sincere and warm - warmer than almost any man she had ever known. He had been kind and patient with her, giving her as much room to move around as she needed so she wouldn't feel boxed in. He loved her and showed her on a regular basis what love was supposed to be. It was a lesson she would be forever grateful for.

"I'm....." she breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry Noah I can't."

"Well I admit the apartment is a little simple but if you don't like it we can find a new one together and you can decorate it however you'd like."

She shook her head. "No...I mean - I can't do this - I think you are a truly amazing man and you have changed my life but this.....I just can't." She stood up and walked to the chair, pulling her coat on. Stunned, Noah sat frozen in place and watched her as she put her hand on the door.

Turning around, she looked at him one last time. "I'm sorry Noah" Pulling the door shut behind her, she sprinted down the stairs and from his building.

**********

"Can I take the blindfold off yet?" Patrick whined.

"If you don't stop your whinging, I may not let you take it off at all" Robin warned, bringing the car to a stop. Getting out, she fished the overnight bag out of the trunk and then opened the passenger door, helping Patrick stand up.

"Seriously, is this necessary?"

"You hate not being in control" she remarked.

"Hello? Pot this is kettle calling."

"Suck it up buttercup" she said, guiding him up the stairs.

"I'd rather suck on a few other things....wait - is this some kind of candid camera thing and I'm surrounded by nuns and priests?"

"Trust me baby, if there are nuns and priests here we are going to be having a completely different type of Valentine's celebration." Robin opened the door and grimaced as Patrick banged his toe on the door jam.

"Dammit" he swore. He stopped as he heard the fire crackling. "Okay, this sounds promising." Robin rolled her eyes as she dropped the overnight bag near the bed and coming back finally took of his blindfold. He blinked several times as his eyes adjusted to the light. A small started at the corner of his lips until he was grinning. "The cabin" he looked at her. "You are such a romantic."

She naked her arms around his waist. "It's our place."

"It is" he kissed the top of her head.

"No, I mean it's our place. I bought it from Jax."

He looked at her in surprise. "Aren't you the devious one"

"Did you say deviant or devious?"

"Both" he teased, nipping at her lips. Taking her by the hand he led her to the chair by the fireplace and pulled her on to his lap. "This makes a nice change from last year's Valentine's."

"You mean because we're not trying to solve some kind of horrible encephalitis outbreak?"

"That" he smiled "and you and I are together."

"Not only are we together but we have a baby."

"And in four days we will be making baby number two." He laced her fingers through his. "You know what that means?"

"Baby making practice?"

"You better believe it."

She gently stroked his face. "You know, I know I tell you often that I love you but I also want to remind that I meant what I said at our wedding - you are kind and good - you make me believe that anything is possible and that there is no fear in reaching for the moon because even if I fail, I still land among the stars. Building a family with you will be the greatest accomplishment of my life and I am so looking forward to creating our second child."

Patrick's eyes welled with tears as he ran his thumb along her lips. "I don't know what I did to deserve you but I hit the jackpot with you." Cupping her face, he kissed her tenderly, taking the time to savour her taste. She parted her lips, allowing his tongue access to her mouth where she greedily sucked on his tongue, eliciting a small moan from him. His arousal was already making itself known under her lap and she rotated her hips in small circles, increasing the pressure on it. Patrick inhaled sharply, tossing his head back as Robin moved her mouth to his neck, nipping at the soft skin. Reaching a hand up, he undid the zipper of her fleece vest and began to make quick work of the buttons on her blouse. Pushing both from her shoulders, he dropped his lips against her now bare skin. Robin ran her hands through his hair as worked his tongue in the hollow of her neck. Feeling his erection straining against his pants, he stood up from the chair with Robin in his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her gently on the covers before heading back to the table.

"Where are you going?" she asked, suddenly missing the contact of his body.

"I'll be right there." Lifting up their coats that they had piled on the table, he found what he was looking for and walked back to the bed. He pulled off his brown wool sweater and tossed it to the floor. Robin licked her lips as she took in his chest, the ripple of his abs and the way his jeans hung from his hips. The heat rushed to her centre and she shifted on the bed in response. Patrick held up the blindfold and smirked.

"Your turn."

She looked at him wide eyed. "What?"

He crawled on the bed towards her. "Your turn." He folded the scarf in half and wrapped it around her eyes, tying it tightly behind her head. "You okay?" he asked softly.

She laid back against the pillow and stretched her arms over her head. "I guess I better let you have your way with me." Patrick cupped his hand over his erection to try and stem the throbbing. Getting up from the bed he quickly undid his pants and slid them and his boxers off before lying down next to Robin. She heard the familiar sound of the zipper and then felt the bed creak as he returned. She jumped slightly as he put his hand on her and undid her jeans, pulling them from her legs. Tossing them to the side, he lay on top of her, letting her feel his body on hers. "Oh Patrick" she moaned.

He left a trail of wet, hot kisses on her neck while working his hands up her smooth legs. He gently spread her legs apart and flattened his palm against her apex. He gasped at the dampness of her panties. "God. I love how wet you are." Robin spread her legs further giving him greater access. Every movement, every touch was heightened for her. Her body trembled with anticipation of where he would touch her next. Moving slowly down her body, he nestled his face against her damp panties, breathing in the heady scent. Robin jerked as she felt her warmth breath against her skin.

"Oh god Patrick" she writhed underneath him. Patrick's cock began to pulse and throb as he watched her with her eyes covered and breathing heavily through her mouth. He licked at her, dragging his tongue along the edge of the lace. He continued to tease her with his tongue, tracing her outline as her head began to thrash from one side to the other. Robin pulled her breasts from their cups and kneaded them urgently, her body on fire. Pushing her panties to the side, he teasingly ran his finger along the outside of her folds before slowly dipping it inside her. He continued to nibble on her clit while slipping a second finger inside thrusting his hand against her. She whimpered as he removed his hand and unable to see what he was going to do next, she lifted her hips from the bed, in search of his hands. He grabbed hold of her panties and pulled them down her legs. Letting her hips fall back to the bed she spread her legs widely, opening herself completely to him.

The heat from the fireplace warmed the cabin significantly and their bodies were glistening with sweat. Patrick was almost ready to bury himself deep inside her but wanted her to be teetering on the precipice before he did so. Using his thumb, he increased the friction on her clit while slipping two fingers back inside her and pumping harder with her hand. Removing his hand again, he reached up and undid her bra, removing the last piece of material between them. He closed his mouth over her breast and tugged and rolled her other nipple with his hand.

"Fuck me Patrick" she begged.

"Ask me again." His eyes were dark pools of desire, his entire body twitching just from touching her.

"." she hissed.

Reaching for the condom he had placed on the bedside table, he sheathed himself quickly. Positioning himself at her slick entrance, he pushed just the tip in before withdrawing it. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his hips in an effort to keep him close. Pushing in again, he went a little further before pulling all the way out as she moaned and thrashed her head from side to side. Not sure he could hang on much longer, he plunged all the way in her, hard. They both gasped at the contact. Reaching up, he pulled the blindfold from her eyes as he started to pump in and out of her. Reaching up for his neck, she pulled him towards her kissing him hard. He felt her walls tighten around him and it was all he needed as his climax tore through him. He cried out her name as she pushed her hips into his. Feeling him come, she trembled and twitched before her body was rocked with spasms.

They lay tangled in each other, capturing their breath; her lips were still pressed against his. "I love you Robin - more and more every day."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Patrick held Robin's hand as Dr. Maida completed his exam. He sat beside the exam table and pushed her hair from her face. "Have I told you today that you're beautiful?"

"You are so cheesy" she teased.

"I'm trying to butter you up."

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'll need your....er....help in a little bit."

"Hello? Doctor still in the room" Dr. Maida reminded them as he made a notation in Robin's chart.

"Sorry Dr. Maida but Patrick is..."

"Don't finish that sentence" Dr. Maida teased. "Everything looks great Robin - you are, in fact, ovulating and if you both are ready, we'll get a sample from Patrick and then in a few hours we'll be ready to inseminate you."

Taking her legs down from the stirrups, Robin sat up. Looking at Patrick she smiled. "I think we're ready." Patrick squeezed her hand in response.

"Great." Reaching in to the cupboard, he smirked as he passed the plastic container to Patrick. "Your turn."

Patrick looked at the container and made a face. "Um, where?" he asked looking around the exam room.

"Well you could do it here though the walls are a little thin. We have rooms that are properly equipped downstairs or I suppose you could always go to your office. That being said, it would be better for the procedure if the only one having an orgasm today is Patrick."

Robin gave a small pout and Patrick kissed her quickly on the cheek. "Okay" Patrick nodded. "And when I'm done?"

"Drop it to my lab." Standing up, he looked at the young couple. Having seen Robin through her first pregnancy he had developed quite an affection for both of them and viewed them as a positive example of how complete a life someone with HIV could lead. "See you guys in a few hours."

Robin pulled her skirt back on and looked at her husband. "So..."

"So" he echoed, twirling the plastic container in his hand. "This seems a little weird - you know, to do this in a cup...."

"I thought I was going to help you" she teased.

"Yes - yes you are - but uh, where do you want to go - here?"

She shook her head. "I think we should do it old school."

"What?"

"I happen to know the linen closet on the tenth floor has a lock that works and we haven't visited it in quite some time." She waggled her eyebrows.

Patrick grinned. "I like the way you think." Taking her by the hand they left the exam room and made a beeline for the elevators. Like new lovers they sneaked looks at each other both grinning and blushing in response. Robin stuck her hand in his back pocket and squeezed his ass prompting him to push back against her hand.

"Just getting you warmed up" she teased.

"Baby with you around, I don't actually need a lot of warm up." The doors opened on the tenth floor and walking by the Nurses Station, they both waved to Epiphany who only rolled her eyes. Robin checked the hallway in both directions before pulling him in to the closet with her. Reaching behind him, he locked the door before cupping her face and crashing his mouth over hers. Backing her up, Robin jumped on the laundry cart and grabbed hold of his shirt, pulling him closer to her. She parted her lips, granting his tongue the access it demanded. Sucking greedily on it, she ripped his shirt open and urgently ran her hands over his chest.

Patrick threaded his hands through her hair, deepening their kiss. Taking hold of the hem of her sweater he pulled it over her head and smirked as he saw her without a bra. "No bra?"

Running her hands over her breasts, she licked her bottom lip. "No. I like the way cashmere feels against my skin."

Patrick swallowed thickly and reaching a hand out, pushed hers out of the way. "How about this - do you like this against your skin?" He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

A small moan escaped her lips as she arched forward. "I like that a lot but shouldn't we be concentrating on you?"

Continuing to knead her breast, he dragged his tongue along her neck before reaching the soft spot between her ear and her jaw. "Touching you has the most amazing effect on me" he said huskily as he took her soft ear lobe in his mouth and suckled on it. Robin slid her hands between his legs and was amazed to feel his arousal already straining against his jeans.

"I'll say." Tipping her head to the side to allow him greater access to her neck, she undid his belt and the buttons of his jeans before gently pushing them over his hips. Moving from the cart, she pushed him against it and covered his chest in kisses. The feeling of Robin's tongue over his nipples set his body on fire and he felt himself harden even further. Robin ran her hand down his torso and over his boxer briefs. Feeling his dampness, she sank to her knees and ran her tongue along his length, kissing his sensitive head through the thin material. Patrick jerked in response.

"God, Robin" he hissed. Hooking her fingers under his waistband, she peeled his underwear from him and tossed it on top of his jeans. Wrapping her fist around his pulsating cock, she moved along his length twisting as she went. Patrick's hips bucked in response as he started to fuck her hand. Reaching his hand down, he fondled her breasts as she lavished his hips with kisses, dragging her tongue along his treasure trail. His breathing shallow and his eyes hazy with lust he felt his orgasm building deep within him. "Robin" he croaked.

Continuing to work him with one hand, she reached for the plastic container and pulled the lid from it. "Come for me Patrick" she whispered leaving wet kisses over his inner thighs. He stilled in her hand before shaking almost uncontrollably. Robin continued to stroke him until he went limp in her hand. Standing up, she kissed him hard on the mouth. "I love you" she said against his mouth.

Exhausted and spent, he simply nodded. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she rested her head against his shoulder and breathed him in. His breathing returned to normal he brushed his lips against hers. "I'm sorry we couldn't get you off too."

She smiled against his skin. "Don't you worry. You'll be making it up to me when we get the all clear to fool around."

"Hmm - I think I like owing you."

"I know I do" she teased. "We should probably um, deposit your deposit."

He laughed lightly. "Okay boss." Reaching for his clothes, he dressed and handed her sweater to her. Having reset all the bed linen that moved during their activity, they pushed the door open and calmly made their way to the elevator. Epiphany simply shook her head as they walked past her a second time and Patrick winked. Having dropped off his sample Robin left to check on things in her lab, suggesting Patrick may want to track Noah down and find out why he and Brenda were ducking phone calls.

xxxxx

Patrick stood outside his father's office watching him review a file. He looked tired, almost haggard and his shoulders slouched forward in a way he hadn't seen in months. Biting the bullet he knocked on the door before walking in and sitting in the chair across from him. "Hey Dad."

Noah looked up in surprise. "Patrick. I didn't...I didn't think you were on today."

"I'm not - Robin and I were just...we had an appointment."

"Is everything okay?" he asked urgently. "There aren't any changes to her health?"

Patrick smiled reassuringly. "No Dad - she's fine. Actually we weren't going to say anything until it was done but we've decided to have another baby and Robin is going to be inseminated today."

Noah smiled broadly. "Patrick, that is wonderful news! I am so pleased for both of you."

"Thanks. Think you can handle two grandchildren?"

"I can't wait" he said truthfully. "Another child to spoil rotten? Bring it on."

Patrick examined his father's face and saw that no matter how genuine his joy for him, Noah's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Is everything okay Dad?"

He nodded. "Sure, shouldn't it be?"

Patrick tilted his head. "You're a terrible liar - always were. I've been calling you for three days and you haven't called back once."

"It's been a busy time. I'm covering off some of Morrison's shifts while he's on conference and we've had a rash of emergency surgeries."

"Did something happen with Brenda?"

Noah shrugged, trying to keep a brave face. "She's decided to return to Rome."

Patrick's eyes widened in shock. "What? Rome? When did this happen?"

"A few days ago. I think she missed her life there and wanted to return home."

"But she's in love with you" he protested.

"Apparently not" Noah said dryly and returned to his chart. "And before you ask, I haven't had a drink."

"No Dad - seriously, she's in love with you - I know it and Robin knows it."

Looking up, Noah willed the tears from his eyes as he didn't want to cry in front of his son. "She doesn't know it and so she has gone back to Rome. I asked her to move in with me, to make a life with me and she left. I don't really want to talk about it any further Patrick."

Patrick's face softened as he began to understand just how hurt his father was. Noah had been a risk taker in surgery and out until Mattie's death. It wasn't until he got sober that he even rediscovered his taste for risks inside the OR but those were baby steps compared to opening his heart up to a woman again. Patrick cursed silently as he watched his father shut down.

"Dad, I am so sorry - is there...is there anything I can do?"

Noah smirked. "No thanks. No fool like an old fool, right?"

"Dad - you are not a fool" he said emphatically.

"Oh really? What would call a man in his mid-50s pursuing a beautiful woman who could have any man in the world?"

"Do you think this is about age or looks? You made her happy, you gave her balance and trust me if ever there was a girl who needed balance it was her. But more importantly, she made you happy, I could see it - you were different with her. You know there was a lightness to you that I hadn't seen since..." he stopped short.

"Since before your mother died" he finished.

Patrick nodded. "Hiding in your work isn't the answer."

"Well as drinking myself to oblivion is out of the question, this will have to do."

"Come for dinner tonight - come and spend some time with us - Rian would love to see you and there's a hockey game on."

Noah shook his head. "I'm not up to company Patrick."

"We are not company!" his voice flashed anger. He was furious with his father for not being able to fight and furious with Brenda for hurting him so much. "We are your family and you don't get to hide from us."

Noah raised his eyebrows. "I gotta tell you Patrick, it's a little strange having you as a spokesperson for the healing power of family."

"Yeah well, consider it a sign of my personal growth. You're coming for dinner - it's not up for debate."

Knowing he had lost, Noah nodded. "Fine. I'll be there after my shift."

Patrick stood up and walking around the desk, leaned against it putting his hand on his father's shoulder. "I love you Dad."

Too overcome to speak Noah simply nodded and continued to stare at his chart. Patrick gave his shoulder a small squeeze before leaving his father to his solitude. His father had taken care of him when he needed it and was unable to ask for it and now it was his turn.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Patrick watched from the window as his father climbed into his car and backed out from the driveway. At his insistence Noah had finally agreed to come for dinner and watch the hockey game. He played with Rian, holding his hands as he took unsteady steps across the room. It had been a cordial but awkward evening as Noah refused to discuss Brenda or his feelings at all. Not even Robin's gentle prodding as they did the dishes could convince him to open up. He realized for the first time how completely sad and lonely his father's life was following his mother's death. Every plan, every dream he had died with Mattie that day and the pain was more than he could bear. Patrick had been so angry with his father, so angry about his mother's death that he had been unable to see what Noah was going through. To see him struggling once again with loss, after spending so many years emotionally locked away, cut him to the core.

He climbed the stairs and walking into his bedroom sank on to the corner of the bed. Pulling his t-shirt over his head, he tossed it in the hamper. He rubbed his hands over his face, tired and disappointed that he could not relieve his father's burden. Having checked in on Rian, Robin came in the room and ran her hand through his hair as she walked past.

"Can you please explain to me what the hell Brenda was thinking?" he asked in exasperation.

Taking off her sweater, Robin turned around. "No, I can't" she said quietly. "She's not returning my phone calls."

"Does she have any idea what she's done to him?"

Robin shrugged. "I can only imagine she was in a bad place if she felt the need to run out on him like she did."

"Bad place?" he asked incredulously. "Bad place? Robin, he's an alcoholic!"

Robin looked at him quizzically. "I'm not even sure how to respond to that. Noah's alcoholism is not Brenda's responsibility any more than it is yours or mine."

"She's wrecked him."

"If it's any consolation I think she's pretty wrecked too."

Patrick spun around and glared at her. He couldn't understand why his wife was supporting Brenda at all after what she had done. "If it's any consolation? Um, no, I feel confident that whatever wreckage Brenda is living is no consolation to what my father is going through."

Robin put her hands on her hips and stared at her husband. Anger and fear were etched all over his face and while Robin's first instinct was to want to take that away from him there was no way she was going to let her friend be disparaged. "Are you getting pissy with me?"

"Why are you defending her?"

"Because she's my friend and she has her own issues going on."

"Noah is your father-in-law –he is your family." Patrick stood on the other side of the room, mirroring her stance with his hands slung low on his hips.

"And Brenda is like my sister and for a long time was the only family I had. Are you thinking there are sides here or something?"

"Damn straight there are sides – you're either on my father's side or Brenda's side but you can't support them both."

Robin took a step back. "Patrick" the tone of her voice was a warning "I absolutely can and will support them both. I love them both very much and I am not going to throw one over for the other. Not to mention, I don't think Noah would want me to."

"Nobility is overrated" he spat.

Trying to defuse the situation, Robin took a step towards him. "Look baby, I know you're worried for your father and I am too but he's doing all the right things – he's going to meetings and he's talking to people. He's not the same man he was when your mom died and there's no reason to believe that he will slip back into old behaviour. He's worked too hard and has too much now to give it all up."

"He should have had too much back then but I guess I wasn't worth the struggle" he said flatly.

"You don't believe that" she said softly. Patrick shrugged and took off his jeans, hanging them over the chair. "Patrick – that's not what I meant…"

"I know what you meant."

"Look, there's a conference in Vienna at the end of the month that I'm going to go to and I'll add on a few extra days, fly to Rome and find out exactly what's going on with Brenda."

Snapping his head up, Patrick stared at her in surprise. "Pardon?"

"There's a conference in Vienna at the end of the month…"

"No" he said, cutting her off.

"No?" Robin's cheeks began to flush as her anger built. "What do you mean, no?"

"There's no way you are going to a conference at the end of the month in Vienna and you're sure as hell not going to Rome."

Robin brushed her hair from her face and took a steadying breath. "And why wouldn't I go?"

He sighed exaggeratedly. "We just had the insemination today – you might be pregnant then and you don't need the stress so you're not going." His tone was definite.

"We?" she questioned, walking towards him. "We just had the insemination? I don't seem to recall it being your legs hooked in stirrups with a catheter feeding semen into you. I don't recall it being you who was cramping and I don't seem to recall it being you who was nauseous for two hours afterwards. What is this 'we' shit? And what is with the caveman act? If I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant – I'm not sick!" Robin's eyes blazed with anger.

"Well excuse me for wanting to take care of you and have you well rested so that our baby will be healthy." Sarcasm dripped from his voice.

"Is that some sort of implication that I DON'T want our baby to be healthy or that I don't want to be well rested? Listen Patrick – I get that you are a bit of an emotional mess at the moment – Gracie is critical and will be having surgery in a couple of days, you're worried about Nathalie and Oliver and you're worried about your father but don't you dare think that is a free pass to push me around or take your fear out on me – I am your wife, not your whipping post."

"Whipping post?" he arched his eyebrow. "You're right, I'm worried about Nat and the kids and my dad but I am also worried about you and the baby – I am your husband and that is my right."

"We don't even know if there is a baby yet and already you are being overprotective and Neanderthal-like."

"Overprotective? Do I have to remind you of what happened when you were carrying Rian? Your blood pressure was through the roof and you had to go off work." His voice was rising steadily.

"My blood pressure was high because I was being pressured by Bruce and his insanity!! And other than this ridiculous argument I'm having a fairly stress free time of things. But if I *am* pregnant then you being an idiot isn't helping matters." She matched him in volume.

"Idiot? IDIOT??? Do you even want a baby right now?" His brown eyes were black with anger and his neck and cheeks had reddened.

"What in the HELL is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Robin, I sometimes get the feeling that a second child is something I want more than you do."

She rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "You have really and truly lost it, do you know that? Do you think there is absolutely any way I would have gone through what I went through today if this wasn't something I wanted? I know you think I'm generous but I'm not *that* generous. Of course I want a second child with you though at the moment between you and Rian it already feels like I have two."

"Nice" he snorted. "Back to name calling it is."

"Well I wouldn't have to resort to name calling if you would just say what was really on your mind. What are you afraid of Patrick? And don't even try to tell me that you're not afraid. I know you – I know where you live and this is what you do. You get scared or worried and instead of talking about it like a grown up, you pick a fight. So what is it? Is it your Dad? Me? The second baby? What?"

"And I know you Robin, and you get all high and mighty when you're trying to avoid dealing with your own issues."

"I don't have any issues at the moment – you're the one who picked the fight about Brenda."

"And you leapt to her defence."

Robin stamped her foot out of frustration. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't? Jesus Patrick, she is my very best friend in the world, there isn't anything she hasn't seen me through and while I am so sad for Noah, I'm not going to abandon Brenda. And you wouldn't want me to if you could think clearly." Frustrated and out of patience, Patrick grabbed his pillow and a t-shirt and headed towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"To get some sleep – on the couch!" He looked at her, daring her to challenge him to stay.

"Fine by me" she huffed.

"Great."

"Terrific"

Fuming, Patrick stormed down the stairs throwing his pillow on to the couch before flopping on to it and pulling the white afghan blanket over him. He stared up at the ceiling.

Robin, still seething with anger, ripped the covers back and flung herself on to the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she sighed, it was going to be a long night.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Robin lay on her side staring at the clock at her bedside.

_2:51 a.m._

Though no longer seething with anger she was still furious at his paternalistic and overbearing behaviour. She was an independent, professional woman who had been taking care of herself long before he had ever come in to the picture. If he wanted to be that way he could sleep on the couch for the rest of her pregnancy; she would not be dictated to.

_3:16 a.m._

She shook her head at his all or nothing approach. When they had first met he would nothing to do with his father and would sooner spit on him than speak to him. A year later and he is leading the charge in his father's defense, declaring that she must choose sides in his father's relationship or end of relationship. He still had elements of the high school senior she had once accused him of being. As if a man in his fifties needs his adult child choosing sides in some misplaced boys vs. girls schoolyard romp. She hoped the couch was lumpy and uncomfortable.

_3:27 a.m._

It was so typical of him to walk out before the argument was finished. He had always insisted on having the last word and very little had changed. It was caveman through and through to tell her that she couldn't go to Vienna – to a medical conference, no less. It was a trip in furtherance of her career and if anything he should be supportive of her. She rolled on to her back and sighed in frustration. She was already making the sacrifice with her career, taking time of for maternity leave, allowing others to forge ahead in her field while she stayed home. It was a sacrifice she was happy and willing to make but a little recognition of what she was giving up so they could both have what they wanted would not be out of order.

Her husband was a jerk.

But he was her jerk and their bed was too big and empty without him and she missed not being able to snuggle up against him, warming her cold feet on his legs. Pushing the covers back, she got up from the bed and pulled his New York Rangers t-shirt from the drawer. Putting it on, she padded down the stairs to the living room.

Seeing him stretched out on the couch, clearly awake, gave her a small sense of satisfaction. Walking to him, she pushed the afghan back and crawled in beside him. He pushed himself flush against the back of the couch giving her as much room as he could. His arm instinctively wrapped around her waist and pulled her to him. He nuzzled her neck, breathing her in.

"Still mad at me?"

"Furious" she said quietly. "You?"

"Absolutely." He pressed his lips against her neck and she shivered at the contact. "I'm sorry – I was wrong to try and tell you what to do."

Smiling, she raised his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I'm sorry too – I never should have called you an idiot or imply that we weren't a team."

"You know what?" She shook her head. "I like hanging out with you, I like making love to you, I like watching you sleep but I absolutely, completely hate fighting with you and don't even get me started on going to bed without you."

She sighed. "Do you have any idea how big that bed is up there? You're a covers hog and it felt weird to have the duvet all to myself."

"I really am sorry" he whispered.

"I know, me too." He slid his hands under the t-shirt and began to slowly knead her breasts. Robin's breath hitched immediately as though she had gone months without being touched by him rather than hours. "Patrick" she said, swallowing thickly. "They said no sex…..ahhhh" She stopped speaking as he slowly worked her nipples between his fingers, applying the smallest amount of pressure to send shockwaves through her. Robin opened her eyes to regain her focus. "No sex for 48 hours" she panted.

He continued to nuzzle her neck, breathing hotly against her skin. "No sex doesn't mean no fun. I owe you one from the deposit earlier."

Closing her eyes, she leaned back against him. Lifting her arm behind her, she ran her hand through his hair, content to be in his arms again. Patrick let his hands roam over her soft skin as though discovering her for the first time. He left slow, breathy kisses against her neck and took her ear between his lips delighting in the deep moan he raised from her. Pushing her hips back, she felt his erection against her legs and started to move her hips in tiny circles. She bit her lip as she felt it pulse against her – she could never get enough of his response to her. She had enough lovers in her life before Patrick to know that his reactions and how he made her feel were unique – they clicked on every level.

Continuing to massage one breast, he let his other hand trail down her body pausing briefly over her stomach and rubbing it gently. Robin smiled at the gentleness and intimacy of the gesture. Knowing his destination, she parted her legs slightly for him and jerked as he cupped her sex.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked in concern. "Is it too sensitive?"

"No" she replied, biting her lip. Just feeling him hold her made her quiver with pleasure. "It feels good."

Turning her head, she reached for her lips and was surprised at the tenderness of his kiss. He sucked lovingly on her lips letting his tongue run over them languidly. She responded by deepening the kiss, bringing him closer to her. His fingers ran lightly between her legs, tracing the outline of her apex. Feeling the dampness and heat emanating from her, he tucked his fingers into her slick entrance.

"Oh god Patrick" she moaned.

He let his thumb caress the small bundle of nerves just above her opening and smiled into her shoulder as she pushed forward into his hand, looking for more. Rolling her on to her back, he sat up and pulled the t-shirt from her as he continued to move his fingers gently around inside her. Lowering his mouth to her skin, he slowly kissed the length of her collar bone before moving to her breasts. The unhurried pace combined with his lips on her skin made every nerve ending feel as though it were on fire. She spread her legs and lifted her hips from the couch begging him to give her more but he ignored her pleas and traced his tongue in circles around her breasts. He dropped a wet kiss between them before flicking her nipples with his tongue and then blowing lightly on them. He grinned as they pebbled and hardened.

"Patrick please" she groaned.

"Please what?" he said, kissing his way down her taught body.

He loved the way her skin glowed in the moonlight that seeped through the windows. She continued to lift her hips responding to his every movement. He had long been concerned that settling down would lead to boredom and repetition but nearly a year after he and Robin had begun a sexual relationship he still wanted more. He loved to watch her come apart as orgasm after orgasm tore through her. The feel of her hands anywhere on his body could send him over the edge at any moment. But most of all, he couldn't get enough of the look of love in her eyes when they were together in this way.

Having snaked his tongue along her hip bones, he moved his mouth to her sex while his hands continued their slow ministrations. Robin closed her eyes as she massaged her own breasts. Her release was building within her and she ached for it.

"Fuck" she hissed as Patrick closed his mouth over her throbbing clit and suckled on it. Little shockwaves started to move through her body as she twitched under his tongue. Seeing her reaction, Patrick picked up the pace and began to pump his fingers in her as she rode his hand. "Oh god Patrick…." Her mouth hung open, panting.

"Come for me Robin – let me see you come." The low, buttery growl of his voice was her undoing as she slammed against his hand, body shuddering and shaking from the intensity.

Her breathing was ragged for several minutes as he stroked her stomach, dropping light kisses on her arms. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

She smiled as she turned on to her side, facing him. "I'm better than okay – doctor, I think that was some of your best work yet." He grinned as he captured her lips in a gentle kiss. "Now about you…" her voice trailed off as she ran her fingers lightly along his still strong arousal.

He shook his head. "It's okay."

"No it's not – you could poke someone's eye out with that thing if we don't get it down" she teased.

He laughed - his breath hitching as she wrapped her hand around him and began to slowly stroke his length. "Robin," he put his hand over hers. "We don't have to."

She raised an eyebrow. "Don't you want to?"

He rolled his eyes in response. "Of course I want to." He sighed as she kissed his chest. "But…um….you already got me off once today."

Smiling as she pulled away from him, she ran her hand along his chest. "That's so true. And since you started the fight, I think you should entertain me."

"Isn't that what I just did?"

"I want more – I want to watch you come – I want you to show me what you do when you think of me." Patrick was silent for a moment. "You're not shy are you?"

"No…I just….really? You want to see that?"

She nodded. "Do you think you're the only one who gets turned on by watching?" She heard a sharp intake of breath as he worked his hand along his length. She heard him moan as she kissed his neck and touched his glistening head with her fingertips. "You are so hot Patrick" she encouraged.

Patrick locked his eyes on hers as he continued to move his hands harder and faster. Completely aroused by touching her moments before, he climaxed quickly, whispering her name as he came. Placing her hands on his chest, she nipped at his lips.

"We need a shower" he said breathlessly.

Robin nodded. "Next time, can we skip the fighting and go straight to the making up?"

He smiled against her mouth. "I like the way you think."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Nathalie stood beside Oliver's crib and watched him sleep. They would be heading to the hospital in a few hours so Oliver could donate his bone marrow to save his sister. She stroked his fine blonde hair and held her hand against his tiny back. He was 15 months old and had already been through so much; now she was asking something from him that she couldn't even explain. His little body contained just what Grace needed to live but getting it would be painful and scary and she didn't know if she should even be asking him.

"You are the best little brother ever Oliver" she said softly. "I love you so much my baby boy." Oliver had been slower to walk and talk than Grace had. He had been seen by several specialists who all told her that intellectually and emotionally he was developing normally and the rest would come when he was ready. Nathalie wondered if he understood how much she loved him. He looked like her, blonde hair and green eyes, and he was a fighter like she was. He would play with his toys refusing to give up until he had accomplished just what he wanted to.

She jumped slightly as she felt Nikolas' hand on her shoulder. "Did I wake you?" she asked, not taking her eyes from her son.

"No." He put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "Both of my children are going to be in surgery tomorrow - it feels like such an enormous risk and yet I have to do everything I can to save Gracie."

He rubbed his hand down her back. "This is normally where I would tell you that everything will be okay but you don't generally believe me when I do that."

Turning her head, she smiled over her shoulder. "I just might tonight."

Reaching to the rocking chair he lifted the blanket from it and slowly pulled her to the floor. Nestling her between his legs, he wrapped the blanket around the both of them. He linked his fingers through hers admiring the way their hands fit together – it exemplified their relationship. Damaged, hurt and scared, they both had more than their share of baggage to bring but in spite of that or because of it, they fit. "Did I ever tell you I was a bone marrow donor?" he asked quietly.

She turned her head in surprise. "You were? For whom?"

"Lulu." He kissed her cheek as she rested her head against his chest, looking at him. "She had aplastic anemia. I didn't know her at all; she was just a little baby. I was estranged from my mother and living in Greece at the time when my mother asked my uncle if I could be a donor for my sister. I originally said no - I wanted nothing to do with my mother or the family she chose over me."

"What changed?"

He smiled. "One look at Lulu and I was done for. And I was a teenage boy who really wanted his mother to admit that she loved him. I figured at the very least, if I did this, then she would owe me."

"I thought you had a good relationship with your mother?"

He nodded. "I do or I did when she was still well. Turns out she loved me all along and that her leaving Greece had nothing to do with me."

"A mother's love is supposed to be unconditional and forever" she remarked quietly. Nathalie tried to remember a time when she thought her parents loved her but couldn't think of one. Her brother used to tell her they loved her but she knew differently. Children know things instinctually and she knew that while her parents loved him, they merely tolerated her. "I'm glad you were there for Lulu."

"Me too. Having a little sister changed my life and no matter what happens between us, we will always have that bond." Nathalie nodded and leaned further back into him, pulling his arms around her.

"You know" she said, breaking the silence "my parents hated physical contact with us – they rarely hugged us and would only grudgingly take our hand. When I found out I was pregnant with Grace I swore that I would never run out of hugs for my children - that no matter what – whether it was hand holding or hugs or kisses – my kids would never know how lonely it could be not being touched."

He kissed her cheek and simply held her. "How anyone could not want to touch you is beyond me" he said quietly. "I won't run out of hugs or kisses for you either."

"There are days where I think you are too good to be true."

"I'm not" he said quickly. "I haven't always been like this Nat – you bring this out in me – having you love me has changed me." Nathalie turned in his lap to face him and slowly captured his lips in a tender but passionate kiss. She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed deeply. "You're exhausted" he remarked, pushing her hair from her face.

"I'm a little tired" she admitted.

Normally so unwilling to reveal her true feelings, her admission caused him to smirk. "When we know Gracie is in the clear, I plan on putting you to bed for the whole day where you will do nothing but sleep and rest and eat and then sleep some more."

Running her hands over his arms, she smiled. "When we know Gracie is in the clear, I plan on taking you to bed for the whole day where will do nothing but make love, sleep and make love again."

"Hmm. That sounds like a good plan.....after we do my plan." He nuzzled her neck. "I don't want you to get sick. Honestly Nat," he said seriously, "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

"I love you Nik."

He kissed her cheek. "Let's go to bed" he said moving to get up.

Nathalie shook her head. "I'm going to stay here and watch him sleep."

Settling back down, Nikolas pulled the blanket tighter around them. "Okay."

xxxxx

Robin squeezed Patrick's hand as they walked through the hospital doors. Though both had the day off they wanted to be at the hospital to support Nathalie through Grace's and Oliver's surgeries. They had, after their shower, slept tangled in each other with Patrick holding tightly to her. She knew that he was worried about the surgery and more so the effect on Nathalie if anything happened.

"Do you want to get some coffee before we go see the kids?" Robin asked.

"Sounds good" he said absently.

Robin rubbed his arm. "Can I do anything?"

"Stay with me?"

"Always" she said firmly as they walked through the cafeteria doors.

While Robin answered her cell phone, Patrick took their coffee to the cash to pay. He placed the cups down beside the cash. "Good morning Irene" he smiled at the cashier.

"Good morning Dr. Drake."

Fishing his wallet from his pocket, he was bumped from behind. Turning around, he glared at the offender.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry" the man said. "I didn't spill your coffee did I?"

Patrick shook his head. "No harm, no foul."

"Cool - thanks."

Patrick stared at the man for slightly longer than polite before responding to Irene's throat clearing. "Sorry sweetie - here you go" he said, handing the money to her. He picked up the cups and took one last look at the man before going in search of Robin.

Just hanging up her phone, she extended her hand expectantly to the coffee. Bringing it to her nose, she breathed it in deeply enjoying the scent of the fresh brew. Having paid her reverence to the liquid gold, she looked up at her husband and was surprised to find him staring off in to space. "Patrick?" she asked touching his arm. He shook his head and turned to her. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"I did" he said. "There was a guy in line, god Robin, if he had been about three inches taller he would have been the spitting image of Drew."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh baby - that's kind of spooky."

He nodded. "I'll say." Reaching for her hand, he shook his head one more time. "Let's go see the kids."

They found Nathalie and Nikolas in Grace's room, Nathalie holding her hand up to her daughter's on the other side of the isolation tent. The young girl's eyes brightened as she saw Patrick and Robin walk through the door.

"Patty!" she said hoarsely.

Still holding his hand, Robin felt it suddenly go clammy as he saw Grace, nearly bald and very pale behind the isolation. Giving it a small squeeze, she placed her lips against his shoulder "It's okay" she whispered.

Patrick was completely jarred by Grace's appearance. It had only been two days since he had seen her yet she looked significantly worse. His heart plummeted to his feet and his throat closed as she waved weakly to him. "Hi Gracie-lou" he said in forced brightness. "Who loves you?"

"You do" she wheezed.

"You bet I do munchkin. Are you all ready for your big adventure?"

She nodded. "Mommy says I'll feel better after."

He grinned. "You sure will and then you and I can go to the park and have a swinging competition."

"Patty" she groaned. "It's winter"

"Afraid you'll lose?" he winked. She stuck her tongue out at him before laying back against her pillow, exhausted. Looking over at Nathalie, he saw that Grace wasn't the only one who was pale and with dark circles under her eyes. "Hanging in there Nat?" he asked.

She smiled tiredly. "You bet."

The porter came into the room, knocking on the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt but it's time to take the patient to the OR."

"Her name is Grace" Nathalie corrected. "You should call her Grace."

He shrugged. "Fine. It's time to take Grace to the OR."

Nathalie turned to her friends and smiled bravely. "Would you all mind? I'd like a few minutes with Grace before she goes."

Nodding, Patrick blew kisses to her. "See you in a few hours baby."

"I love you Patty."

"I love you more" he teased.

Robin waved. "Bye Gracie - be good for Dr. Garcia."

Nikolas waved to Grace as well "Good luck Gracie" He let his hand rest on Nathalie's hip and pressed his lips to her ear. "I love you" he whispered. Covering his hand with hers she nodded but would not take her eyes from her daughter. The three shuffled out the door and walked towards the family waiting room.

Nathalie grinned at her daughter. "Have I told you today how much I love you?" she asked brightly.

"Yeah" her daughter confirmed.

"Can I tell you again?" Grace nodded. "I love you so much Gracie-lou"

"Tell me the heart story Mommy."

The porter sighed heavily but Nathalie gave him a steely glare. "The day your daddy and I found out I was carrying you we both got huge pains in our chest.."

"Did it hurt?" she asked wide-eyed.

"It didn't hurt because we knew what the pain was..."

"What was it?" she asked as excitedly as she could.

"It was our hearts growing - when we found out we were having you our hearts grew bigger and bigger so there would be room for you to live there."

"Do I still live there?" she asked quietly.

Nathalie put her hand over her heart and called upon all her strength to stay in control. "You sure do Gracie-lou - you live right here."

"I love you mommy" she replied.

"I love you too. You be a brave girl and I will see you in a few hours." Grace waved weakly as the porter wheeled her out of the room. Nathalie continued to wave until she was well out of sight. Alone in the cold, antiseptic room her knees gave way and she slid against the wall to the floor. Pulling her knees to the chest she rested her head against them. The tears fell slowly down her face and she made no effort to wipe them away - she felt helpless and alone. Despite the group of people gathered in the waiting room no one could truly share her fear - these were her children and her last remaining link to her husband. Not normally a risk taker, this felt like the biggest gamble of all.

"Nathalie?"

Noah's voice was so soft, she almost didn't hear him. Looking up, she wiped at her face quickly. "Hi Noah" she said quietly.

He slid down the wall beside her. "Hiding out?"

"Just for a little bit. Everyone is being so nice and supportive but I just wanted a few moments - is that a bad thing?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. Do you want me to go?"

"No" she gave him a small smile. "You're a very calming presence."

"I could say the same for you."

She sighed heavily. "I'm scared" she whispered.

Noah put his arm around her. "That's okay, you're allowed."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "Do you know why we called her Grace?" He shook his head. "Because that's what she was to us the minute we found out I was pregnant. Drew and I were both damaged but she was an act of mercy who forced us to be better people. She is such a loved child."

"Patrick says she looks like Drew."

"She does" Nathalie said nodding. "At first it hurt when I looked at her until I realized what a blessing it was to see him live on in her. She is my grace and if something happens..." her voice trailed off.

"I can't tell you nothing will happen but Nathalie, everything that can be done is being done."

"What about Oliver?" She wiped again at the tears that continued to fall. "He's such a sweet baby who in less than a year has lost his father and is being asked to save his sister's life. He doesn't even know Drew - I keep waiting for him to call Nik, daddy - poor little guy - not such a fun entrance to the world." Nathalie looked up at the ceiling. "I get Grace's leukemia, intellectually - I'm not even surprised to a certain extent - it killed my brother and why wouldn't there be a genetic link? I understand the surgery, the transplant - I get it all except for one thing."

"What's that?" Noah asked quietly.

She bit her lip and exhaled slowly. Turning to Noah, her green eyes brimmed with more tears. "Why does God keep trying to take what I have?"


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Lulu sat on the swing twirling in circles and letting it spin free. She had thought about going to the hospital to be with everyone while they waited through the surgeries but it was too difficult to go back there. The hospital held no happy memories for her and she didn't want to be in the way. She had thought of calling Ethan but didn't want to come across as too needy.

Ethan. She couldn't help but smile at the mere mention of his name. He was kind and generous, hot and loving and he liked her – a fact she was still having a hard time wrapping her head around. They had shared a bed on Valentine's Day and Lulu couldn't remember a better feeling than waking up in his arms. His body was so warm as she curled up beside him and he had kissed her and touched her and made her feel safe and desirable all at the same time. It had been the single most loving experience of her life. They had lain in bed together until the mid-morning when hunger finally got the best of them and she offered to make pancakes. Almost inseparable since that day, Lulu found herself thinking about him almost every waking moment.

"You're going to throw up if you keep spinning like that." Looking up, she blushed immediately as Ethan stood before her. Noticing the sudden flush to her face, he smiled. "Dare I ask what you were thinking about?"

"Why? In need of an ego boost?" she retorted jokingly.

"Nah" he said, taking the swing next to hers. "I just want to make sure that it's thoughts of me and not some other guy that would make you blush like that."

"Some other guy?" She shook her head. "Um, Ethan, there is no line-up of guys wanting to date me."

He pulled her swing closer to his. "Well that makes me very happy on a selfish level but Lu, I'm not sure you see the way guys pant after you when you walk by."

"Um – you must be confusing me with someone – anyone else."

He shook his head, grinning. "Nope. I see them – when were in the coffee shop or grabbing lunch, guys are checking you out constantly. It's a good thing I'm not normally a violent person or else I would have gotten in a few fights by now."

She rolled her eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere with me."

"Oh?" he waggled his eyebrows. "How about kissing? Does kissing get me somewhere with you?" Leaning in, he captured her lips and kissed them hotly.

"I don't know" she teased, breaking the kiss. "Where do you want to get?" Her green eyes sparkled

Ethan let out a tiny growl. "You have no idea what you do to me, do you?"

She smirked. "Care to show me?"

Reaching forward and grabbing her by the waist, he pulled her from her swing and on to his lap. He nipped at her lips before finally coaxing them apart and sliding his tongue in her mouth. Lulu seized his tongue and sucked hungrily on it. They both moaned as they deepened the kiss. He ran his hands through her hair, slowly threading his fingers through the silky strands. In need of air they finally broke apart, slightly breathless. "What are you doing out here anyway?" he asked, stroking her face with his gloved hand.

She shrugged. "Just hanging out."

"You looked like you were deep in thought when I came along and I'm smart enough to know it's not just me you were thinking about."

"You think you're that smart do you?"

"I know I am." He grinned. "What's up?"

She ran her fingers over his cheek. "Nothing."

"Liar" he said softly.

"Gracie is having a bone marrow transplant today – right now actually."

Ethan tilted his head to the side and studied Lulu's face. She was such an innately compassionate person and it was one of the things that drew him to her. She also didn't realize how much she had to offer and he wanted to show her in as many ways as possible. "How come you're here and not there then?"

"I didn't want to get in the way."

"That doesn't sound right" he said curiously. "From everything you've said, you're really tight with your brother and his girlfriend. I'm sure they'd be really happy to see you." She shrugged again. He pushed her bangs from her eyes. "Lu, are you afraid to go?"

"Afraid might be too strong a word" she replied quickly. "I just…I don't know – I hate hospitals."

"Would it help if I went with you?"

Her eyes widened in surprised and yet she wasn't truly surprised, he had never failed to amaze her. "I thought you had an economics class."

"I do and god, it's the most boring thing on earth – GNP, GDP – who cares? Besides, it would mean I get to hang out with you."

"You would really do that?"

"Hang out with you?" He pulled on her bottom lip. "Every chance I get."

"Okay" she nodded.

He stood up, letting her slide from his lap. "Let's go, Joe." He held out his hand and Lulu wrapped hers around it.

xxxxx

Nathalie bounced her legs up and down as she watched the minutes tick by on the clock. Noah had stayed with her and listened while she articulated much of her fear. Feeling like it was out of her system, she stood up ready to face her friends. He had walked her to the waiting room with a strong hand at her back and she took great comfort from that. It had now been nearly 45 minutes since the surgery started but to her it felt like hours. Standing up suddenly, everyone looked at her in surprise.

"I'm going to go get some coffee" she announced to no one in particular.

"Think you might consider some decaf?" Patrick teased her gently.

"P?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when I was pregnant and drinking decaf?"

He let out a loud groan. "Please – go find the jet fuel – drink it straight from the pot if you have to – I do not want to relive that again."

She grinned at him. "Wimp."

"Dude – I have scars – real physical scars."

She rolled her eyes. "Number one – please don't 'dude' me again – it creeps me out. Number two, as for your real physical scars – again I say – wimp."

With no comeback he stuck his tongue out at her. "That's mature" Robin snarked, enjoying the banter between the two old friends.

"A little back up would be nice."

"Are you kidding me?" she said incredulously. "You keep telling me what a big boy you are – you can handle yourself."

"When I call myself a big boy – that is not what I'm referring to."

Nathalie groaned. "I think I'm going to hurl." She turned to look at Nikolas. "Do you want anything?"

Smiling he shook his head. Nathalie winked at him before leaving for the cafeteria. Robin watched him as he stared after her. Getting up she crossed the room and sat beside him. "You really love her don't you?" she asked softly.

Nikolas looked at his friend and smiled shyly. "A lot." Dropping his eyes he fidgeted with his fingers. "She's amazingly strong and loving and independent and I don't know how I've lived without her all these years."

"I'm really happy for you." Robin rubbed his arm.

"Me too. If we can get through this, I think we have a real shot at a future."

Patrick looked up at hearing Nikolas' words. "You know Nik – you've done a lot for her. She and Andrew were great together and I could never imagine them with anyone else but things change and I'm glad she's found you."

Nikolas' mouth fell open slightly at Patrick's admission. He was well aware of the connection between Patrick and Nathalie's past and a part of him felt insecure about it, that on some level he was being measured against a ghost. But hearing those words from him, the acceptance of him as part of Nathalie's life, washed away all of his fears.

"Thank you for that. For the record – she's done a lot for me too."

Robin smiled. "I'll say – is that an actual colour you're wearing – a red sweater – will wonders never cease?"

"Hey!" he protested. "I've worn colour before."

"Oh please" Robin snorted. "Only if you count grey as a separate colour from black."

"Are you implying I'm some kind of dark lord?"

"No implication" Robin teased. "I'm full on calling you one."

"I thought we were friends."

"We only hurt the ones we love" Patrick jumped in.

"Get away from me" Nikolas shooed. "Go back to your big boy."

Robin giggled and went back to sit beside Patrick. She kissed him lightly on the cheek. "You're a good man" she whispered.

Nathalie returned with Ethan and Lulu in tow. "Look who I found making out at the entrance to the cafeteria – and I do think they were using tongue" she said in a loud stage whisper to Robin.

The young couple both blushed furiously and Lulu made a desperate attempt to change the subject. "Ethan, I think you know everyone here except for Nikolas – my brother. Nik, this is Ethan."

Nikolas stood up and shook his hand. "I'm not feeling particularly menacing today so I reserve the right to intimidate you later."

Ethan grinned and nodded. "Sure."

Everyone settled in and returned to clock watching. Nathalie rested her head on Nikolas' shoulder and closing her eyes, managed to fall into a light slumber. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. She hadn't been asleep very long when she felt him gently nudge her awake. "Nat" he whispered.

Blinking and wiping the sleep from her eyes, she looked around the room and was horrified to see her parents standing in the doorway. She groaned. "What are you doing here?"

"Imagine our surprise to discover second hand that you have consented to surgery for children you do not have custody of." John said tightly.

"Oh just fuck off would you?" Nathalie said tiredly. "My child's life is at stake and I make no apologies for what I did."

"You are in violation of a court order…" Anne started.

"And you are a living heart donor" Patrick retorted. Anne glared at him.

"If your process server had been a little faster then I wouldn't have been able to consent but too bad for you, he got to me after I signed. You have two choices now – pull up a seat and pray for your grandchildren or drop dead – at the moment I could really care less what you choose."

"You ungrateful little whore" John spat. Lulu gripped Ethan's hand as the tension in the room rose.

Nikolas stood up quickly and marching over to them took them both by the arm and led them into the hallway. "I have had it with you two. You will not ever and I do mean EVER talk to Nathalie like that again. I am the Chairman of the Board of the hospital and if it so behooves me, I will have thrown out of here on your asses." Letting go of their arms he turned to John. "I told you to think carefully about your next move and I'm not sure you heeded my advice. As a result, I think if you call your firm you will find that most if not all of your government contracts have either dried up or been buried so deep in committee that they will never see the light of day. It's going to be pretty hard to keep that firm going with no income to speak of." John flinched at Nikolas' pronouncement. "If you want to stay and wait for news about your grandchildren you can but if you say one disparaging thing about your daughter I will end you with one phone call."

Frantic to regain the upper hand, John narrowed his eyes. "Are you threatening me?"

Nikolas' eyes darkened and he smiled knowingly. "Not at all John. I don't make threats, only promises."

"You will regret this" he warned. "You may think you're powerful but do you have any idea who you're messing with son?"

He shrugged. "Do you?" Everyone in the room watched the confrontation in the hallway.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the Nurses' Station is?" A man asked, interrupting them.

"Down the hall to the left" Nikolas said, not taking his eyes from John.

Nathalie's eyes widened and she looked at Patrick who had the same expression on his face. "It's not just me, right?"

He shook his head. "No" he said hoarsely. "He could be Drew's twin."

"I need to talk to him" Nathalie said urgently, standing up.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Robin asked.

"It can't be a coincidence" Nathalie said, straining her neck to see him. "Maybe he's related to Drew – maybe it's a sign of some kind." Nathalie slipped from the room and headed down the hallway after the stranger with her husband's face.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Nathalie walked hurriedly down the hallway trying to catch up to the mysterious man. "Excuse me" she called after him. Just out of earshot, he kept walking. "Excuse me, sir?" she called a second time.

Bruce let a slow smile cross his face before turning around. "Are you talking to me?" he asked innocently.

Nathalie nodded as she caught up to him. Slightly winded, she put her hand on her hip and exhaled quietly. "I'm so sorry to bother you."

He smiled kindly at her. "Is there something I can help you with?" Nathalie stared at him, drinking in the cut of his jaw, the height of his cheekbones and the way his upper lip curled naturally - he looked every inch her husband and it stole her breath. Bruce gently put his hand on her arm. "Ma'am? Is there something I can help you with?"

Reaching out with a shaky hand, Nathalie lightly traced her fingers under his eyes. She tried to shake the fog from her head. "I am so sorry. You look so very much like someone I know...I knew" she corrected quickly. "You could be his twin."

Bruce smiled at her. "Lucky me by the looks of things."

Her throat constricted and she swallowed several times before speaking again. "Are you by any chance related to the Walkers of Manhattan?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not. My name is Anthony - Anthony Waters."

Nathalie's face fell in disappointment. "Oh" she said quietly. "I'm sorry to have bothered you - thank you for indulging me." Turning on her heel she started to walk away but stopped as his hand closed around her elbow.

"I never got your name."

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry" she stammered. "I'm Nathalie Walker."

He extended his hand. "Nice to meet you Nathalie. I'm sorry I couldn't be who you wanted me to be."

She smiled sadly. "It was nice to meet you as well Anthony."

xxxx

Having convinced Nathalie's parents to wait somewhere else, Nikolas shuffled back in to the waiting room. Lulu and Ethan were flipping through a magazine together. Robin rested her head on Patrick's shoulder, her hand linked through his. Looking up she saw the dark shadows that hung about the edges of his face. She knew that he struggled daily against giving in to the darkness that was a hallmark of the Cassadines. Seeing him now, it was clear that he wasn't winning the battle today.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

He nodded, slinking in to a chair. "The Harders have chosen to wait in another part of the hospital." Patrick smirked at his statement. "Where's Nat?" he asked, looking around the room.

"She saw someone who looked like.." Lulu started.

Patrick cut her off. "Like someone from school" he covered "and she went to see if it was him." Robin looked at him curiously.

"Oh" Nikolas said, stretching out on the chair. "Is the surgery supposed to go on for much longer?" he asked Robin.

"Probably another hour or so." He nodded. Nathalie came back in to the room, pale and slightly crestfallen. Sitting beside Nikolas, she pulled her knees to her chest and leaned in to him. He draped his arm around her protectively. Robin squeezed Patrick's hand. "Want to come with me while I stretch my legs?"

"Sure" he said, getting up. "We'll be back in a couple of minutes." They headed down the hallway in silence, holding hands. "What's on your mind?" he asked.

"What?"

Patrick rolled his eyes impatiently. "Robin you don't have some burning need to 'stretch your legs' as it were so what is it you want to say to me out here that you couldn't say in there?"

"You know me that well?"

"Hello? I married you." He gave her a small smile.

Robin licked her lips aware that she was entering touchy territory. "Why did you cut Lulu off?"

"When?" he asked.

"Hello? I married you too - don't be coy with me, it doesn't suit you."

He sighed and leaned up against the wall, jamming his hands in to his pockets. "Look" he said quietly. "I knew that guy wasn't related to Drew - I know Drew's family and that guy would have had to be some distant cousin but she needed to see for herself. What's the point of telling Nikolas and having him get jealous over a man who is dead?"

Robin put her hand on his wrist. "Speaking from experience?" she asked softly. After the surgery to fix the damage to her frontal and temporal lobes that caused, among other things, visions of her long dead boyfriend, they had never really spoken about how those visions affected Patrick.

He shrugged. "Look you've taught me that loving someone deeply in the past doesn't preclude you from loving again. They love each other and if she wants to tell him she can but he really doesn't need to know - it doesn't mean anything."

"Are you disappointed he's not related to Drew?"

"I knew he wouldn't be."

"That's not what I asked you" she said, rubbing his arm.

"Are you asking me if I miss him?" Robin nodded. Patrick chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip. "Is there another word than 'miss'? Is there a word that means more than miss because whatever that word is that's how I feel." He shook his head. "I still can't believe that all these things have happened to me and he's not around for me to tell. He was my very best friend in the world - there wasn't anything that happened to me that he didn't know and so yeah, for a brief moment I kind of wished it was him or a double, 'cause I want my best friend back."

Robin linked her fingers through his belt loops. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter, it's been almost a year."

"Don't do that" she admonished kindly. "Don't say it doesn't matter because it's obvious it does."

He blinked back tears and smiled at his wife. "I miss him and I wish he was here to take care of his kids and his wife." he whispered. Standing on her tiptoes, Robin captured his lips in a soft, wet kiss.

"Ready to go back?" she asked, taking his hand. He nodded and peeled himself from the wall. They walked quietly back to the room and saw Dr. Garcia sitting down talking to Nathalie. Patrick gripped Robin's hand as he realized he would never get used to being on the waiting end of things in the hospital. Robin rubbed her thumb along his palm reminding him no matter the news they were in it together.

"Can I see her?" Nathalie asked.

Dr. Garcia shook his head. "Not yet. Though the procedure went very well, we will keep her sedated and in isolation for the next 48 hours to give her body a chance."

"What about Oliver?" Her knuckles were white as she held on to Nikolas' hand for dear life.

"He did very well. You can see him in an hour or so when we bring him back from recovery. He'll be groggy and out of it but you can have a brief visit with him." Sensing Nathalie's continuing concern, Dr. Garcia leaned forward and spoke reassuringly. "Nathalie everything went as well as it could and if this treatment is going to work we will know soon."

Her eyes brimmed with tears. "Thank you very much Dr. Garcia - for everything."

"It's my pleasure" he said standing up. Walking past Robin and Patrick, he nodded putting a hand on Patrick's shoulder.

Patrick walked to Nathalie and put his arms around her. "Okay?"

She nodded. "As okay as it can be for now I guess."

"Those are some tough kids you have Nat, they'll be fine." She simply nodded against his chest, relieved that the worst was over.

xxxxx

Bruce sat in Helena's office with his legs up on her desk. He flipped disinterestedly through a magazine while waiting for her. Everything was going according to plan and he couldn't be happier. Not normally a patient person, working with Helena had taught him that big rewards require time. He smirked as he reflected back on his encounter with Nathalie; it had worked better than he had imagined it would. The fear in her eyes, the shaky hands – she was completely wrong footed by his appearance and she would be easy pickings. Licking his lips, he hoped his other target would be as easy.

Gliding into the room, Helena knocked his feet from her desk. "This is an antique from the court of Louis XIV and I will thank you to keep your common feet off of it."

Bruce smiled sarcastically at her. "Yes ma'am."

"Did you make contact with the little whore?"

"I did and she fell for me hook, line and sinker. Now all I have to do is continue to show up at opportune moments. She's already tightly wound, it won't take much to push her over the edge and away from your grandson."

Helena smiled in satisfaction. "And the other one?"

"I'm working on it. I've secure the safe house and it's only a matter of time before we make our move."

"Good" she tapped the pen on her desk. "The sooner we extricate those two from things the better. How much longer do you need?"

"Two months at the outside – everything is falling in to place."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Nikolas had stayed by Nathalie's side, holding her hand, while she visited Oliver and he waited patiently while she peppered Dr. Garcia with more questions but he had been unusually silent through all of it. Even now as they walked along the pathway to the house he had yet to speak. She snuck looks at him in an attempt to determine what, if anything, was wrong. Once inside, she dropped his hand and stopped walking. Nikolas continued for several paces before turning around and looking at her quizzically.

"You haven't said a word in nearly 45 minutes - is something wrong?"

His dark eyes clouded over making it difficult for Nathalie to read them. "No" he said simply. "I just want to get you to bed so you can rest."

Arching an eyebrow, she looked at him incredulously. "Get me to bed?" She crossed her arm and leaned against a pillar. "I know that I've been kind of weak lately and you have taken such good care of me but I don't actually need to be put to bed..."

"Nat" he sighed. "You're exhausted and you need to sleep."

"You want me to sleep because you want to avoid talking about whatever is bothering you and that's not okay."

His face softened slightly and he walked towards her resting his hand on her waist. "I'm sorry. It's not you - I just have a lot on my mind, including worrying about you collapsing."

Nathalie let out a small sigh. "Nik, you and I are partners here and if something is bothering you then we should talk about it." Reaching up with her hand, she stroked his face lovingly. "And I'm not going to collapse. I might be a bit of an emotional mess but I am ridiculously strong physically."

Turning his face in to her hand, he kissed her palm. "I know" he said softly. "I just don't know what I would do if something happened to you - Nat I'm not sure you understand how much I want you - need you - in my life and I will do whatever it takes to protect you."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him tightly to her. "I love you Nik and when you're ready you can tell me about some of the other things on your mind."

He nodded, breathing her in. "I will, I promise." Moving suddenly, he scooped her in his arms and headed to the stairs carrying her. "But for right now..."

"You want to tuck me in - fine" she sighed exaggeratedly. Though pleased that she wasn't the cause of his melancholy she was still concerned as to what was. Setting her down on the bed, he sat and watched as she changed from her jeans in to a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. Pulling back the covers, she crawled underneath them, her muscles groaning at the realization that relaxation was not far.

"Happy?" she asked.

Giving her a small smile, he nodded. "Almost - I'll be happier when you close your eyes and get some sleep."

"Nik" she protested lightly.

"You forget" he said, stroking her face. "I share a bed with you and I know when you don't sleep. Close your eyes Nat" he whispered against her cheek.

Losing the battle against her fatigue, Nathalie did as he asked. "I love you Nik" she mumbled.

"I love you too" he said kissing her cheek.

He sat beside her, gently stroking her arm until he was sure she was sound asleep. He closed the door as he left the room and heading down the stairs, grabbed his coat before heading back outside. He jammed his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the wind whipping up the hill from the water. Trudging down to the launch, he hoped the biting cold would help him clear his head. Having crossed the water, he walked up the pier and headed to Kelly's. Rubbing his hands together as he stepped through the door, he nodded at Georgie and slid into a chair in the corner.

"Hi Nikolas" Georgie smiled as she approached the table.

"Hi Georgie - may I please have a coffee?"

"Sure thing - anything to eat?" He shook his head and she left to fill his order. He stared out the window and reflected back on the day. It had been one of revelations for him; he had discovered that Patrick supported him in his relationship with Nathalie and though he wouldn't admit it out loud it was the one thing he truly wanted as he knew how important his opinion was to Nathalie. He had also come to realize how much he had grown to love her children - Nathalie had not been alone in her worry for Oliver and his heart had ached when he said goodbye to Grace before she went down for surgery. He was almost frightened at how much he loved her and the lengths he was willing to go to for her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Pulled from his haze, Nikolas looked up and smiled at Robin pushing Rian in a stroller. "Not at all" he said standing up. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Robin smiled as Nikolas pulled her chair out for her. "Nah, Georgie will be here in a minute." She pulled Rian from his stroller and undid his snowsuit, settling him in her lap. "What brings you here Nik? I thought you would be at home with Nathalie."

Nikolas smiled, turning his coffee cup in his hands. "She's sleeping."

Tilting her head to the side, Robin studied his face. "You seem like you've got a lot on your mind."

Nikolas gave her a small smile. "Don't we all?"

"Oh dear - that's not a good sign. Can I help with anything?"

He shrugged and stared at the table. "Do you think I'm like my Uncle Stefan?" he asked looking up.

Robin looked at him in surprise. "Pardon? Stefan?" She shook her head. "Where did that come from?"

Nikolas leaned back against the chair and let out a long breath. "He was willing to do anything for the woman he loved. He risked everything for my mother including the wrath of my grandmother."

"Nik? Is something going on between you and Nat?" Normally even keeled, her friend suddenly seemed moody and more introspective than usual.

Nikolas ran his hand through his hair. "I hate Nathalie's parents" he said simply.

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "We all do Nik- they're horrible."

He shook his head. "You don't understand - I *hate* them. When Nathalie ended things with me after the custody hearing, I went to Greece. I knew that I lost her and there was no way to get her back - it would be up to her. But I sat there, playing with Spencer, I just couldn't get over the idea of parents not loving their child. I mean despite how they expressed it both my uncle and my mother loved me and I knew it." He took a short sip of his coffee. "They humiliated her and absued her - this kind, smart, funny, beautiful woman and they made her feel like she was unlovable." Robin winced at the memory of Nathalie's father declaring to an open court that he didn't love his daughter. "I had nothing but time on my hands in Greece and so I started a plan to destroy her parents" he continued.

Robin looked at him kindly. "But Nik - that's normal - you love her."

"But Robin - unlike others, I can actually put my plans in to motion. I had no reason to believe that Nat and I would get back together but I swore I would make her parents pay for hurting her so much. I started to buy up interest in her father's firm, I called in favours to block his government contracts which is where the bulk of their revenue comes from and there was a point today where I threatened to end him."

"Nikolas - you are not a violent person. You were just blowing off steam. It has been such a stressful period for everyone and her parents only made it worse."

He shook his head. "Robin - I was willing to end him" he insisted. "I think...." he paused. "I think I'm becoming a Cassadine and that terrifies me."

Reaching across the table, Robin squeezed his hand. "I have known you for more than a decade and I have seen you cope with any number of nearly impossible situations and you did so with grace and dignity. You are not your father nor are you your grandmother. You are the best of being a Cassadine."

He shook his head. "I just don't know. Everyone has an ultimate fear and mine is being like Stavros or Helena. What if evil is a gene that just waits to be woken up and that her parents have done that to me."

Robin shifted Rian in her lap and looked intently into his dark eyes. "Nikolas I spent a lot of time in medical school studying genetics and I feel confident in telling you that evil is not a gene - it's a choice. Your father and your grandmother, even Stefan made choices and the consequences stemmed from that. Look at you and Alexis - you guys have made different choices and have better lives as a result. You're close with Lucky - Lulu trusts you with everything - you have a son who is so obviously loved - you are not evil."

He gave her a small, appreciative smile. "I've never really felt so violent before" he said quietly.

"When Bruce was making my life so difficult when I was pregnant with this one" she said, nodding at Rian. "Patrick went to see Sonny."

His mouth fell open in surprise. "He did?"

She nodded. "Asked Sonny to kill him. And Nik, Patrick abhors violence and the line of work that Sonny and Jason are in offends him but he wanted Sonny to do something."

"I'm guessing Sonny didn't"

"Despite everything, Sonny is a smart guy and he recognized that Patrick needed to control something - anything - because so much of what was happening was outside of his control. So Sonny offered to keep an eye on Bruce. It's the same with you Nik - you're hurting for Nathalie - you can't cure Gracie - you can't make the pain of Drew's suicide go away and then you see her parents opening fresh wounds every time and so you feel that at least that is something you can control."

Nikolas grinned at her, comforted by her wise words. "You know, apparently all that higher education paid off."

Robin giggled. "I should hope so - I just paid off my last student loan."

"You know what's weird?"

"This is Port Charles - you'll need to be more specific."

He rolled his eyes at her comment. "I'm angry with her husband. How weird is that? I mean if he hadn't died, I never would have met her and I never would have fallen in love and my life would be so very different now. But at the same time, it hurt her and it hurt those kids and it makes me wish I could shake him."

"It's not weird" she said reassuringly. "Not even a little. Nikolas, one of your greatest qualities is your fierce loyalty to your friends and how you want to protect them. Nathalie is lucky to be loved by you."

"I'm pretty lucky too" he said hoarsely.

She nodded. "Then why don't you go home and be with her?" she suggested. "You're not becoming your father - I'll tell you if you are."

His head snapped up. "Promise? Do you promise you'll tell me?"

Robin narrowed her eyes and squeezed his hand again. "I do. I promise Nik."

He inhaled deeply. "Thanks Robin - you are such a good friend to me."

"And you me."

He stood up and pulled his jacket from the chair. He kissed her on her cheek and kissed Rian on the top of his head. "Thanks again. I'll see you both soon."

She smiled as Rian gave him a small wave. "See you Nik."

xxxxx

Nikolas climbed the stairs to their bedroom and quietly opened the door. He stood and stared at Nathalie lying on her side, her eyes fluttering as she slept. She was simply the most beautiful person he knew. Closing the door behind him, he pulled off his shirt and stepped out of his pants, laying them on the chair. He padded to the bed and gently pulled the covers back, easing himself in beside her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly to him.

"Mmm. You're back" she said sleepily.

He nuzzled her neck. "You're supposed to be asleep" he mumbled.

"I am - I just sleep better with your arms around me." She turned over in his arms to face him, lightly tracing her fingers over his skin. "Were you able to clear your head?"

"How did you know?"

"Because I'm a genius!" she teased quietly. "And you always go for a walk when you need to clear the cobwebs."

He pressed his lips against her forehead. "I'll tell you all about it another time."

"Okay" she sighed snuggling in closer to him.

"But there is something I do want to tell you know."

Her eyes flew open. "What is it?" Her voice betrayed the nervousness she was trying to hide.

He stroked her face. "It's not a bad thing."

"I know" she said unconvincingly.

"I've never had a best friend" he said quietly.

"What?"

He swallowed. "I've never had a best friend. Lucky and I are close but we're brothers and there's a history there that always threatens to make itself known. I loved Emily and Courtney but it wasn't the same. I've never had someone that I could just tell everything to - that I could be goofy with..."

"Um, sweetie - you don't know how to do goofy" she teased.

He smiled. "Brat!" Nathalie looked at him cross-eyed, struggling to stay awake. "I've never had a best friend" he repeated. "Until I met you. You're my lover and my partner but under all that - you are my very best friend in the world and I love you."

She smiled and nipped at his bottom lip. "I love you too Nik." She settled in against his chest and sighed contentedly. He closed his arms around her, resting his head against hers - his concerns of being like Stavros now a distant memory.

xxxxx

Robin sat with Rian on her lap in the rocking chair, reading him a story. He squealed in delight as he touched the fluffy rabbit on the page and squeezed the clown's nose. The tactile book had been a gift from Brenda and was one of Rian's favourites.

"Your godmother is still ignoring my calls Rian" she said softly. "I think I may have to go see her. What do you think?" Rian gurggled and smiled, his first tooth showing. "Daddy won't think it's a great idea but Grandpa Noah is miserable and Brenda is miserable" she sighed. "I think we should knock their heads together - don't you?"

Robin rocked back and forth, turning the page in the book. Story time was interrupted by the sound of an alarm going off. Robin's stomach lurched as she stood up from the chair. Carrying Rian, she walked in to the bathroom and set him down on the counter. Closing her eyes she set a silent wish in to the universe and picked up the plastic stick. Turning it over in her hand, she slowly pried her eyes open and stared at the little window. It was a minus sign. She sighed and kissed Rian's forehead.

"I guess Daddy and I will have to try again to get you a little brother." She leaned against the counter, deflated. She had taken it for granted that she would be pregnant the first time they tried after getting pregnant with Rian without any planning. She blinked back the surprising tears and held Rian to her chest. "Oh baby" she sighed.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

"You're working too much" Patrick remarked from the doorway to his father's office.

Noah, hunched over a file, looked up in surprise. "Hi sport. What brings you by?"

Patrick let out a quiet breath as he stepped in to his office. "You."

"Me?" Noah asked leaning back in his chair. "Here for more fatherly advice on how to handle children?" he smiled.

Patrick rolled his eyes and placed a coffee in front of him. "No - here to pass on some filial advice on love."

Noah let out a low laugh. "You understand the rich irony in you trying to give me advice about love?"

"Hey!" he protested. "I got my act together."

Noah flipped back the lid on the coffee and wondered if he looked as old as he felt; he was exhausted and sleep had only been a taunting illusion. For so many years he had slept alone that it had taken him quite some time to get used to having Brenda next to him in his bed but once he did, the feel of having someone in his arms again intoxicated him. It had been three weeks and he missed it, he craved it and wasn't sure how he would ever sleep peacefully again without her. Once an addict, always an addict. He looked up at his son and forced a smile. "You certainly did. Any news on ..er....project baby?"

Patrick grinned. "We should know in the next day or so if it took. Can you believe I'm going to be a father of two?"

"I'm still wrapping my head around you be a father of one."

"Me too. Rian is so close to walking - god, it's so fun to watch. His little face screws up in such concentration as he tries to figure out how to work his legs."

Noah smiled softly. "You did the same thing. You were so intent on walking and would get very insulted if any of us tried to help you."

"So you're saying my hard headness started early?"

"I'm saying it's genetic....on your mother's side of course." Noah grinned.

Noticing his father's smile did not quite reach his eyes, Patrick took a long sip of his coffee and dove in. "Have you heard from Brenda?"

Noah shrugged. "Heard from her? No. I called her and we talked for a couple of minutes but she started to cry and hung up."

Patrick was momentarily stunned into silence. "Were you....were you calling to ask her to come back?"

"I don't know" Noah said softly. "I just wanted to see how she was doing. I was...I am worried about her - she's haunted by some pretty big demons."

He watched as his father's eyes misted over and for the first time, understood how much Brenda had come to mean to him. "You really loved her didn't you."

Noah nodded slowly. "Still do."

"Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"Do?" he asked. "Patrick, I reached out to her and was rebuffed - there is nothing left for me to do."

"What about going to Rome?"

His father shook his head. The phone call had been brief but painful. Brenda had been unable to speak for several minutes after hearing Noah's voice. Uncomfortable with the slience, he had rambled about how much he missed her and that he was concerned about her. He told her about Grace and Oliver coming through surgery and that he thought of her everyday. When she finally found her voice, she apologized, tearfully, for running out on him. He soothed her and reminded her that he loved her and there was room for her in his home and his heart if she wanted it. His heart shattered at her quiet sobbing. Through ragged breaths she told him that he meant more to her and had been kinder than any man she knew but didn't know how to return his love. She apologized once more before hanging up.

"She doesn't want me Patrick." Noah ran his hands through his hair. "It's over" he said softly.

Patrick felt a heaviness in his chest at the sight of his father's crestfallen face. So wound up in his own pain when his mother died and completely distracted by his father's descent in to addiction, he never really saw the grief that etched itself into his face. It was clear now and he wished there was a way to take it all from him. "How can I help?"

Noah smiled wryly. "Sorry sport, this road had room for one person only and that's me. But don't worry - I'm going to meetings and working the program."

"You know" Patrick said quietly. "I'm not worried that you're going to drink again or should I say, not just worried that you'll drink again. I'm worried about you - how you feel, how you're coping."

"This isn't my first rodeo Patrick. The one advantage to having loved and lost in the past is that you know it will stop hurting at some point."

Leaning back in the chair, Patrick began to break off the lip of the styrofoam cup. "Did it...it stopped hurting with Mom?"

"It did. There was a moment when I realized that I was drinking, not to numb myself from the pain of her death but to numb myself from having given up completely. That's a whole other kind of pain."

"I'm sorry."

Noah's warm brown eyes filled with tears. "What are you sorry for?"

Patrick shrugged. "If I had stopped being angry I might have been able to see what you were going through - I mean what you were really going through."

Noah shook his head. "No - no way. Patrick, you know as well as I do that the addiction is mine and mine alone. There was absolutely nothing you could have done to make it stop and so I will not accept any apologies from you on that subject."

"Do you want to come for dinner?"

"That's kind but I'm working late tonight. I have a surgery tomorrow and I need to review the file one more time."

"Okay" Patrick said, standing up. He walked to the door and stopped. "Are you sure there isn't anything I can do for you?"

"You've already done it. Go home and kiss your wife and son."

"Hang in there Dad." Patrick jammed his hands in to his pockets and left.

xxxxx

Ethan sat at the breakfast bar watching with amusement as Lulu raided his fridge. "Having you been watching the Food Network again?"

"Maybe" she teased, opening a milk container. She grimaced as she sniffed it. "Gross - that's expired."

"It still works in coffee" he protested weakly.

"Ethan Young, I'm not going to let you poison yourself by putting curdled milk into your coffee."

Ethan grinned. "It's so sexy when you call me by my full name."

Lulu blushed to the roots of her hair. "Okay so we have Italian sausage, eggs, spinach, tomatoes and blue cheese" she announced, ignoring his comment.

"Does that mean I win something?"

"Your fridge is a disgrace" she grinned.

"Come on! I have to get some points for having blue cheese - that's got to impress you just a little."

Lulu crossed her arms and leaned against the counter. "Well I have to admit the fact that you bought blue cheese as opposed to letting it get that way in your fridge is pretty cool."

"See - this is all adding to my supreme coolness."

She raised her eyebrows. "Supreme coolness? What's that supergeek?"

"Supergeek?" he asked, clutching his chest. "That hurts Lu, that hurts a lot."

"Truth always does" she teased. "So how do you feel about a fritatta for supper?"

Getting up from the stool, he walked to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck. "We could skip dinner and go straight to the making out portion of it all."

Lulu's entire body shivered as his lips made contact with her skin. "How about we make out after I cook?"

"You are no fun" he teased but still holding on to her.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"I am - just not for food"

Lulu closed her eyes as she felt his erection press in to her. Leaning back against him, she sighed as turned her head to kiss him. He crashed his lips on hers, parting them with his tongue. Turning in his arms, Lulu wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer to her. He moaned against her mouth as their tongues tangled. His hands ran lightly down her sides, sending tiny shocks through her. Breathless they broke apart. He ran his thumbs along her cheeks. "Do you have any idea how simply gorgeous you are?" Blushing, she lowered her head but her lifted her chin to face him. "Gorgeous" he repeated.

"So am I making the fritatta or what?" she asked shyly, uncomfortable with the attention.

"Okay" Ethan said, looking at her curiously. "Fritatta it is." Walking back to his seat, he looked at her as she washed the spinach and tomatoes. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" she said, patting the spinach leaves dry.

"Why do you have mini freak outs when I tell you how pretty you are?"

Her head snapped up. "I do not have mini freak outs."

"Sure you do - you blush and get all uncomfortable and change the subject"

Lulu began to chop up the tomatoes. "I just....I'm not used to being told that and I...um..." she shifted from one foot to the other. "I don't know what to say when you say those things."

"You don't have to say anything" he said softly. "I mean it you know" Lulu looked at him, green eyes wide. "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met."

She stared at him blinking. "Dammit!" she swore.

"What?" Ethan asked, jumping from his chair.

"I cut myself!" she said in panic. Ethan turned on the tap and reached for Lulu's hand. "NO!" she shrieked. She pulled away from him so quickly she backed in to the fridge. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Ethan stood rooted in place while Lulu wrapped her hand around her bleeding finger, her eyes wide with fear as she pressed herself further in to the fridge. "Okay Lu" he said softly. "Why don't you run your finger under the water and I'll get a bandaid."

Lulu waited until he moved from the kitchen before running her finger under water. She stared in shock as her blood ran in to the sink and down the drain. The sight of her bright red blood frightened her. Ethan returned, staying on the other side of the breakfast bar, and passed the band aid to her. Wordlessly, she took it from the counter and peeling it back, put it around her finger. Picking up the tomato, she tossed it all in to the garbage. "You'll need to disinfect the knife and cutting board" she said quietly.

He watched as she filled the sink with hot, soapy water and dunked the cutting board and knife in to the water. "Are you...are you going somewhere?"

She nodded. "I should....I'm going to go home."

"Lulu..." he started.

"I'm sorry" she said, willing the tears not fall. "I just....I ...I have to go home. I'll call you" she said, grabbing her jacket.

Sliding from the stool he walked towards her and put hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to go - can we talk about this?"

She shook her head and reached for her purse. "I need to go." She turned the lock and shrugging off his hand, slipped out the door. She ran from the building, heart hammering in her chest. All she wanted was to feel normal and every time she came close to it, her HIV would always raise its ugly head and remind her that normal would never be a possibility again.

xxxxx

Robin sat on the floor with Rian, playing with the Lego farm set her Uncle Mac had given him. He squealed in delight every time the cows mooed and pigs oinked. She heard Patrick's key in the door and bit her lip. As disappointed as she was that the artificial insemination hadn't taken, she knew Patrick would be more so.

"Hello?" he called out.

"In here"

Patrick smiled as he saw Rian chewing on the rubber horse. "Does that taste good little man?" Rian smiled at his father. Patrick dropped to the floor and crawled over towards them. "I'm coming to get you" he teased. "I'm coming to get you!" Giggling, Rian tipped up on to all fours and started to crawl away from his father. Patrick continued to chase him in to the dining room before catching him and scooping him in his arms and covering his face in kisses. "I got you!" He kissed him again. "I love you so much!" Standing up, he walked back to the living room and sat down beside Robin. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Hi wife."

"Hi husband" she said.

Patrick looked at her face and noticed the faint hint of red around her eyes. "Have you been crying?" he asked quietly.

"Not really." She started to put the animals back in the barn.

"Not really? Could you please define not really?"

"It's stupid."

Patrick set Rian on the floor and put his hands over Robin's to still her. "It can't be stupid if you've been crying. What's up?"

Robin twisted her mouth and sighed. "I'm not pregnant" she whispered.

He felt a flash of disappointment wash over him and he blew out his cheeks. "Well that sucks"

Robin giggled. "To say the least."

Wiping his thumb under her eye, he kissed her softly. "It's okay baby, we'll try again next month."

"I know" she sighed. "It's just, I guess I didn't think it wouldn't take."

"Robin - it rarely works the first time."

She crawled in to his lap, draping her arm over his shoulder. "I know but we weren't even trying when I got pregnant with Rian."

Pressing his lips in to her neck, he breathed her in. "It's just the first month - it'll happen Robin - let's not stress."

"I'm not sure how I feel about you being the voice of reason" she teased lightly.

"We all have our moments of greatness and I guess this is mine" he grinned. "Actually" he tucked her hair behind her ear, "this might work out well."

"How do you figure?"

"I spoke to my Dad and I think you need to get to get on plane to Rome."

.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Curled up together on the couch in front of the fire, both Nathalie and Nikolas looked up in surprise as Lulu came flying through the door. Her face was red and splotchy and her eyes swollen.

"Lu?" Nikolas asked as she walked past them in to the kitchen.

"Don't want to talk about it" she fired back.

"Lu, what happened?"

"Did you miss the part where I said I don't want to talk about it?"

Extricating himself from Nathalie, Nikolas walked to the kitchen and stood in the doorway as Lulu pulled cookies from the pantry and ice cream from the freezer. Feeling his eyes on her, she looked up defiantly. "What?"

"You're upset – what happened?"

"Nothing" she said flatly.

"Did Ethan do something? 'Cause I'll go set him straight…."

She shook her head as she dug in to the ice cream. "Leave him alone – he's a good guy."

"Then what's wrong?" Nikolas was puzzled by his little sister's behaviour and her reticence in letting him help.

"I DON'T want to talk about it," she said firmly.

Nikolas felt Nathalie's hand on his shoulder. "I think Spencer needs you" she said quietly. He nodded and winked at her before retreating from the kitchen. Nathalie smiled as she walked over to the table. "Hmmm – ice cream AND cookies – this is indeed a bad sign."  
Lulu sighed. "You have no idea."

"I know you don't want to talk about it" she said gently "but it's not as bad as you think?" Nathalie reached for an Oreo.

Lulu slumped at the table, propping her head up on her elbow. "I ran out on Ethan."

Careful not to react too quickly, Nathalie concentrated on pulling her cookie apart and licking the centre. "Why?"

"I'm not sure" she answered truthfully.

Nathalie nodded. "Were you guys….you know…"

"God no – nothing that interesting. I was cooking him dinner."

"And you decided you didn't like what you made?"

Lulu giggled in spite of herself. "I cut myself" she said shyly, brandishing her bandaged finger.  
"And?"

"And he tried to help me and I was afraid of getting blood on him and then my head exploded and I ran away."

"I see" she said, taking the spoon from Lulu's hand and scooping out a large spoonful of ice cream. "Mmm. Mint chocolate chip is my favourite" she said licking the ice cream from the spoon.

"Don't you want your own spoon…" Lulu stopped and smiled. "You're really sneaky you know that?"

She grinned. "Lawyer."

"Why did I run – he wanted to talk about it and I couldn't get out of there fast enough?" Taking the spoon back from Nathalie, she dug another large helping with it.

"I'm not an expert Lulu but I would imagine that it was a bit scary and maybe you felt a little embarrassed?"

She nodded. "Is it ever going to get easy?" she asked in frustration.

"You know, I don't think ice cream and cookies are going to cut it." Nathalie stood up and walked to the phone, dialing the familiar number.

"What are you doing?" she asked, confused.

Nathalie held up her finger. "Hey Robin, it's Nathalie…."

Lulu shook her head good naturedly. One of the good things that had come from her diagnosis was that she was surrounded by people who wouldn't let her hide and who reminded her on a regular basis that she mattered to them, no matter what. It was an affirmation she had been searching for with her father and grandmother and even her catatonic mother but she had not found it until recently.

Nathalie smiled as she hung up the phone. "Okay, get changed – we're going to Jake's."

"But…"

"Yeah, yeah – you're not 21 but I know Coleman lets you drink there on occasion. Clearly the drinking age in this country is antiquated and puritanical. Besides, it's obvious you are in need of some girl time, which I can provide and some perspective, which Robin can provide and some drinks, which Coleman can provide. So get up and get changed."

For the first time since her accident at Ethan's she felt relief. "Okay – give me 10 minutes."

"Going somewhere?" Nikolas asked as Nathalie opened the door to their bedroom.

She jumped as she felt his arms snake around her waist. "Lulu, Robin and I are going to have a girls' night at Jake's."

Nikolas spun her around in his arms. "You're taking my underage sister drinking?" he questioned teasingly.

"Yup. Your underage sister needs some girl time that doesn't involve mocha lattes at Starbucks and quite frankly, Robin and I could use some release as well."

He pressed his lips into her neck. "I could think of a few ways to give you release."  
She shivered as his warm breath made contact with her skin and she pushed herself further against him. "If you play your cards right, we might both get release tonight."

Closing his eyes, he nuzzled her neck, lost in the feeling of being wrapped up with her. "I think my offer is a better one."

She smiled against his shoulder. "If you don't stop, I'm never going to get out of here."

"My evil plan is working" he smirked. Pulling back slightly, he looked at her seriously. "Is Lulu okay?"

Nathalie nodded. "She cut herself making supper at Ethan's and had a bit of a freak out. I just think some time with Robin and I might help her over that."

Not for the first time, Nikolas was moved by the way she took on his family as her own. His sister missed their mother more than anyone and Nathalie and Robin both filled that void being part mother/part friend. He was grateful to both of them for taking her under their wings. Nathalie bussed his lips and left his arms to change.

Ten minutes later, she met Lulu in the sitting room and promised Nikolas that they would mostly behave.

"Don't call me if you get thrown in jail" he teased.

"Jail?" Lulu questioned. "Please. We're with the Police Commissioner's niece and we have a lawyer – we'll be fine." Nikolas rolled his eyes and waved them off, secretly pleased about their outing.

He had just settled down to review quarterly statements from his holding company when Alfred escorted Ethan in to his study.

"Mr. Ethan Young for Miss Lulu" he announced in his crisp accent.  
"Thank you Alfred" Nikolas said. "Ethan – this is a surprise."

He looked nervously around the room. The house was much grander than he had expected and suddenly felt overwhelmed. "Um…yeah. Is Lulu here? I'd really like to speak with her."

Nikolas leaned back and studied his face. He was certainly nervous but there was a look that came over him when he mentioned his sister's name that impressed him. "I'm sorry Lulu has gone out with some friends."

"Is she…is she okay?" he asked, jamming his hands into his pockets. He felt woefully underdressed in his battered jeans and black CBGB t-shirt over his white, long sleeve t-shirt.

Nikolas nodded slowly. "I think so – care to tell me why my sister was so upset?" He wanted to hear Ethan's take on what happened. While pleased his sister had found someone who had accepted her, he knew from his friendship with Robin that having HIV could be a series of trials and he didn't want this guy bailing on his sister after she had become so attached. Ethan shifted from one leg to the other. "Please sit" Nikolas offered.

Grateful for the seat, Ethan's legs bounced up and down nervously. "She uh….we were making dinner – or she was making dinner for me" he rambled nervously. "And she cut herself as she was dicing tomatoes. I tried to help her but she was worried about me touching her and then kind of freaked out and left. I tried to get her to stay and talk to me but she just wanted to come home."

"I see. And how did you feel about her cutting herself?"

Ethan furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure what you mean – I felt badly that she cut herself and then felt really badly that it freaked her out."

"Why did you come after her?"

He blinked several times as if Nikolas' question was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. "Well…she's my girlfriend…..and I care about her……and I want to make sure she's okay."

Nikolas leaned forward and looked intently at Ethan. "Ethan you seem like a good guy and I think you make my sister happy but are you sure – are you really sure that her having HIV doesn't bother you?"

He let out a long slow breath. "Bother is a peculiar word. Of course it bothers me" he started "in the way that I wish she didn't have this and that she didn't have to go through this. But your sister is amazing and with or without HIV, I'd want to date her. Life is too short and can end too quickly to let something like HIV stand in the way of a good thing."

Impressed by his answer, he also noticed the sadness around the edges of his voice. "Sounds like you have some experience with life being short"

"I do." Ethan was unwilling to reveal any more on that subject. He was happy to prove himself worthy of Lulu and even tell her brother in detail how much he cared for her but his mother's murder and the circumstances around it were not for public consumption.

"Okay then. Well we should probably go rescue our women."

"Pardon?" Ethan did a double take.

"My sister and my girlfriend and Patrick's wife are all at Jake's having a girls' night out which inevitably will result in tequila shots and sore heads." Nikolas smiled and picking up the phone, dialed Patrick's number. "Patrick, it's Nikolas. I have Ethan with me…….Bring Rian here and I'll have Mary watch him – we're going to go supervise our women."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Nathalie returned to the table with a pitcher of beer and three glasses. Filling each glass, she passed one to each of her friends. "So what shall we drink to?" she asked.

"Me being a coward?" Lulu offered.

Both Robin and Nathalie scrunched up their faces in disapproval. "Um how about to a pintful of beer helping the medicine go down?" Robin asked.

"Are you channeling Mary Poppins?" Nathalie asked giggling.

"Perhaps."

"Wait, wait, wait." Lulu interjected. "I know why I need the 'medicine' but what is up with the two of you?"

"Hello?" Nathalie said waving her hand. "Have you met my parents? I'm the only kid growing up who thought Attila the Hun would make a better father than the one I had."

"And my best friend broke my father-in-law's heart while breaking her own – which is quite a feat really."

"Okay then – you are both making me feel much better about my plight" Lulu teased.

"Great!" Nathalie raised her glass. "To a night of beer helping the medicine go down" The three women clinked glasses and burst out laughing.

"So Lu…" Robin began. "Nathalie tells me you had a bit of a scare at Ethan's."

She nodded slowly. "I cut myself and freaked out."

"Tell the truth now" Nathalie encouraged. "Did he have his tongue down your throat while you were chopping vegetables because it's very dangerous to julienne while kissing."

Lulu blushed. "Not while I was chopping…"

"Oh I see – just before" Robin finished. "Look Lu" she said, taking the young girl's hand. "There is not right or wrong way to handle this and it's completely normal to be freaked about cutting yourself. It's scary but you did all the right things…"

"I ran out on Ethan"

"You didn't let me finish" she teased. "You did all the right things except for running out on Ethan. You ran because you were afraid that once he saw your blood it will fall in to place with him and he would reject you – and you didn't want to give him that chance."

Closing her eyes, Lulu nodded. "Shouldn't he be more freaked out by this?" she asked quietly. "I think I'm more freaked than he is."

"Lulu, you are dealing with it beautifully – no one could ask for more from you. As for Ethan, he sounds like he's a smart and compassionate guy. There is so much information out there now that there is no excuse for anyone – and I mean anyone – to be ignorant about the disease. Neither Jason nor Patrick were remotely put off."

Lulu looked up at the two women, eyes brimming with tears. "Is there ever going to be a time when I'm not afraid?"

Moving her chair closer to her, Nathalie put her arm around her. "Lulu, I'm afraid every day and I don't have HIV. Fear is a natural part of life."  
She looked at her incredulously. "You? What are you afraid of?" Dropping her head as her cheeks flushed. "I mean besides Gracie."

Nathalie inhaled deeply. "I'm afraid of lots of things – being alone – having my heart broken, breaking someone else's heart. I'm terrified of being a bad mother and well considering a court has already called me one, that's not been so good for the self-esteem," she said lightly.

"Okay number one – that court was so very, very wrong – I think you're an awesome mom" Lulu said as she looked at Nathalie intently. "And number two, you don't ever seem to be afraid – you always seem so calm and in control."

Nathalie smiled as she finished her first beer. "I follow two philosophies in life" she said sagely. "Fake it until you make it and feel the fear but do it anyways."

Robin's eyes lit up. "Me too!"

"Seriously?" Lulu questioned "You both do that?" Both women nodded. "I had no idea."

"There is no playbook Lulu" Robin said "Not for life and not for dealing with HIV. You are going to have moments when you freak out and then you just have to get on with it. I was shattered when I first found out that Patrick was Rian's father because it was so late after exposure that there was no protocol available to him. We just had to wait and hope he tested negative. It ate at me so much and there was nothing he could say or do that would take that away."

Lulu swirled the end of her beer around in her glass. "I should probably call Ethan and apologize."

"Later" Robin said. "We need to blow off some steam – all of us."

"You know what we need?" Nathalie asked excitedly. "Shots! And lots of them! COLEMAN!!" she called the bartender over.

"Yes darlin'" he said walking to their table. "What can I do for you three lovelies?"

"Coleman, my friend – we need some shots – we actually need a lot of shots. Could you set up three of each?"

"What kind of shots?" he asked in amusement.

"Well I think it's important that we have drinks that match a certain aspect of our personalities so therefore my friend Robin will take three shots of Sex on A Beach." Robin giggled. "Young miss beside me here will take three Orgasms"

"NAT!!" Lulu protested.

"And I will take three Blowjobs."

Coleman smirked. "It would be my pleasure." He winked as he returned to the bar.

Nathalie looked at Lulu, smiling. "What?"

"Orgasms?? Orgasms Nathalie?"

"Well Lulu, every girl needs them and if you're not having them with Ethan at the moment, then you'll have to pay for them."

Lulu put her head down on the table. "Oh my god – you are certifiable – you know that?"

"In fact, I do," she said brightly. Standing up, Nathalie grabbed her wallet and pumped the jukebox full of quarters, selecting song after song. Returning to the table, she looked at Robin. "Okay, now that we've solved Lulu's crisis – what are we going to do about Brenda and Noah?"

Lulu shrugged. "Smack Brenda upside the head? 'Cause seriously, if Noah were like 10 – no wait, make that 20 years younger, I would SO make a play for him"

"LU!" Robin shrieked, laughingly. "You little vixen."

"What?" she shrugged. "He's sooo hot."

"I'm leaving for Rome in a couple of days" Robin said as Coleman set the shots down in front of them. "And I hope to talk some sense in to her."

"Poor Noah" Nathalie remarked. "He's still completely hung up on her."

"I think she is on him" Robin said. "But Brenda is so afraid of love – so completely afraid to trust it that she did what she has always done. Protected her heart and ran."

"Sounds familiar" Nathalie sighed.

"Yup" Robin concurred.

"I hear ya" Lulu said. "But this is getting to be far, far too serious of a conversation." Lulu picked up her shot glass. "Here's to my first orgasm!"

"Here's to my ….er….here's to sex on the beach!" Robin cheered.

"And let's not get into the numerical value of me and blowjobs, okay? Bottoms up ladies!"

The women knocked back shot after shot, screaming with laughter. Coleman watched from behind the bar and allowed himself a small smile while raising a shot of whiskey to them. All three women had been in his bar on more than one occasion, often sad or angry or having been treated badly. He had come to like and respect all of them and was thrilled to see them letting loose and having fun. Like he did with all those he cared about, he vowed to keep an eye on them. Good people, truly good people were rare and if he couldn't be one, he could at least protect them.

Playing a very loud and drunken game of pool, Robin had just fired a pool ball off the table when Nikolas, Ethan and Patrick came through the door. Hearing the ruckus, the three men didn't have to look very far to find the women.

"Looks like we got here just in time boys" Patrick said firmly.

"They so need our help" Nikolas confirmed.

"Lulu is going to kill me" Ethan muttered under his breath.

Dragging Ethan with them, Patrick and Nikolas carefully approached the pool table. "Hello ladies" Patrick drawled.

Robin and Nathalie scrunched up their faces. "What are you doing here?" Turning to Nathalie Robin tried again. "What are they doing here?"

"Crashing our party by the looks of it" Nathalie groused. "What are you doing here?"

"Supervising" Nikolas grinned.

"Shuper, shuperin –what?" Nathalie slurred

"Looking after the women-folk – making sure you don't get into any trouble" Patrick clarified.

"Women-folk?" Robin narrowed our eyes. "Where is our shon?"

"With his nanny" he said, nodding in Nikolas' direction.

"I've had five orgasms!" Lulu announced loudly, causing Ethan's eyes to bug out. She blushed immediately. "I meant I've had five shots."

"And why are *you* here?" Nathalie asked waving her hand at Ethan.

"Uh" he shifted "They made me come? I don't actually think you need to be supervised."

"Traitor!" Nikoas hissed.

"Oh dude – whipped already" Patrick shook his hand.

Robin slapped his chest, harder than she expected to. "That's not niccce" The alcohol was coursing through her body.

"Owww!" Patrick rubbed his chest. "If she's had orgasms, what have you been having?"

"Sex on a beach!" she proclaimed loudly. "Actually, I could go for some sex on a beach – do we have any beaches around here?"

"Yes there are" Patrick said, grabbing hold of Robin as she swayed. "But they're covered in snow."

Looking up at him cross-eyed, Robin touched his face. "You're shober."

He grinned. "I really am."

"Well that's no good!" Nathalie declared. "COLEMAN!!!"

"Yes darling?"

"Drinks – the men-folk have showed up uninvited and are sober – it's all bad."

"Coming right up" he laughed.

Nikolas snaked his arm around Nathalie's waist. "Dare I ask what you've been drinking?"

"Blowjobs" she said in her best sing-song voice. "And if you play your cards right you might just get one too"  
Nikolas grinned, blushing slightly. He shook his head. "You are a naughty girl."

"You have no idea" she purred.

Shyly, Ethan made his way to Lulu. "Hey" he said softly.

"Hey" she replied, leaning against the pool table. "Nathalie said I had to have orgasms since I wasn't having any with you."

Blinking several times, a slow smile crept across his face. "We can arrange for you to have orgasms with me if you'd like." Closing the distance between them, he ran his hands through her hair.

"You don't want so shle…she…sleep with me"

"I really do" he said seriously. "More than you know."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked in small voice.

He shook his head. "Are you okay?" She nodded. "Then how can I be mad at you?" Leaning in, he nuzzled her neck gently. "I could never be mad at you Lesley Lu."

"HEY!" Nikolas exclaimed. "Get your lips off my sister."

Both Lulu and Ethan froze where they were, cheeks reddening. Nathalie put her lips near Nikolas' ear. "Remember that blowjob? This is not playing your card right."

Nikolas swallowed thickly. "Um, uh, as you were."

"Good boy" she whispered, pressing her lips to his cheek.

Coleman dropped off a round of drinks for everyone, on the house. The boys made quick work of their beers and returning with the girls to the table, ordered a second round. Lulu and Ethan sat glued to each other's side, hands linked together and his arm draped protectively around her shoulders. It was not lost on him what happened the last time he and Lulu had been at Jake's and he wanted to protect her in whatever way he could.

"Hey!" Nathalie said loudly. Everyone looked up startled. "Oh crap – I was yelling wasn't I?"

"Just a touch honey bear."

Robin mouthed 'honey bear' to Nathalie and she rolled her eyes. "Patrick Drake – you owe me a song!"

"What?" he asked disbelievingly.  
"The night of karaoke you owed me three songs of my choosing and I only got two!"

"Because you left" he protested.

"Because people said nasty things about me – anyways, stop changing the subject. You owe me a song!"

"I'm not singing"

"Really?"

"Really. I am not and will not sing karaoke." He crossed his arms across his chest to make his point. Pulling him closer to her Robin whispered in his ear and Patrick groaned, rolling his eyes. "Fine, what song?"

"Hmmm" Nathalie mused, pursing her lips. "Can't touch this – MC Hammer"

He groaned again. "Really?" Robin waggled her eyebrows. "Fine" he grumbled, walking to the karaoke stage.

Leaning across the table, Nathalie motioned for Robin to lean in too. "Dare I ashk what you did to convi..cons…make him do it?"

An evil smile crossed her lips. "Let's just say I told him he'd be flying solo for a long time if he didn't." Both women shrieked with laughter. The bar quieted down as the opening strains to the song filled the air.

Patrick shuffled from one foot to another, his face red from the neck to the roots of his hair.

My, my, my, my music hits me so hard  
Makes me say oh my Lord  
Thank you for blessing me  
With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet  
Feels good when you know you're down  
A superdope homeboy from the Oaktown  
And I'm known as such  
And this is a beat uh you can't touch

The girls got up from the table and started to dance, singing along at the top of their lungs.

Can't touch this  
Can't touch this  
Can't touch this (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)  
Can't touch this (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)  
Can't touch this

"That's my husband!" Robin yelled. "I can TOUCH that any time I want!"

Patrick shook his head as he finished the song, slinking from the stage and returning to the table. He slid in to his seat and promptly downed another beer. As the jukebox returned to the forefront, Nathalie could be heard squealing over the crowd at the song. The women bounced around the room to "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones. Grabbing Robin and Lulu by the hand, she lead them to the bar where with Coleman's assistance, they danced along the top of the bar to the hoots and hollers of the patrons.

"Our women are dancing on a bar" Nikolas remarked.

"I guess you guys are bad supervisors" Ethan remarked dryly, enjoying the sight of Lulu dancing freely.

Patrick watched the scene for several minutes before turning to Nikolas. "That's her" he said quietly.

"Who?" he asked in confusion.

"That right there is the Nathalie I met almost 10 years ago. Free spirited, happy, full of life. I know you love her but the woman you met last year is only a shadow of the woman she was before Drew's death." Patrick smiled broadly. "Looks like she's back"

Nikolas felt his chest swell as he realized they had indeed turned a corner. Though she was still burdened by the situation with her children, she was glowing more, happier and freer. He loved her more than he had before.

As the song ended, Lulu scrambled down from the bar and ran to the jukebox to select the next song. Hurrying over to the table, she grabbed Ethan by the hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

"Interesting choice" he said as Marvin Gaye's "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" came on.

"I really like you" she said cross-eyed. "And one of these days, very soon, I want to show you how much."

Ethan inhaled sharply and lowered his head to capture her lips in hot, wet kiss. "Very soon" he repeated against her mouth.

Robin crawled into Patrick's lap and wrapped her hands around the back of his neck. "I love you" she said seriously.

"I know" he nodded. "I of course am not as drunk as you are so I only like you…" he teased.

"Shut up and kiss me" she said, seizing his lips.

Nikolas walked to the bar and held his hands up to Nathalie. Taking them she slid down from the bar and into his arms. They started to sway to the music, her hips brushing against his, her head resting on his shoulder. He ran his hands down her back, enjoying the feel of her body. Everything about her excited him – emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. He knew she was his match. Lifting her head, she stared into his eyes for several minutes, not speaking. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Nikolas, I have a question to ask you"

"Go ahead" he said, staring at her full, soft lips.

"Will you marry me?"


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

"Will you marry me?"

Nikolas stopped moving and just stared at her. "Wh…wha..what did you just ask me?"

Dropping her hands from his neck, she jammed them in her pockets. "I asked you to marry me."

"You're very drunk" he said lightly.

"I am" she nodded. "But not so drunk that I don't know what I'm asking."

Wetting his suddenly dry lips with his tongue, he let out a long, slow, steady breath. "Can we talk about this later, when you're sober?"

Nathalie made a move away from him but he was too quick for her, snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her towards him. She stared at the ground for several seconds before meeting his eyes. "Is that a no?"

Reaching out to stroke her cheek he was surprised to find his hand trembling slightly. "No – it's an 'I don't want to have this discussion in a bar when you're drunk and may not remember it tomorrow'." Biting the inside of his cheek, he scolded himself as he saw her insecurities fall around her like curtains. "Nat" he said intently, locking eyes with her. "I love you – fully, completely – and we will have this discussion. It's just too important to have it now."

"Okay" she nodded, disappointedly.

Reaching for her hands, he pulled them from her pockets and linked his fingers through hers. He pulled her flush against him. "What do you say we go home?" He kissed her neck tenderly. "And I want to be alone with you" he whispered.

Nathalie did her best to push away the biting disappointment. She was drunk but that in fact is what liberated her to ask the question she had wanted to ask him for weeks. For months, since Patrick and Robin's wedding, she knew that she wanted to marry him but had banished those thoughts from her head because she was still unsure about how he felt. Having been so exposed during the custody trial she was sure he would be disgusted by her and was one of the reasons she ended it with him. She had lost so much by that point, having him reject her would have been more than she could bear. His return from Greece had changed everything for her and she vowed that she would not walk away from him a second time.

They stopped by the table and said good night to their friends before heading out in to the cold winter night.

Lulu rested her head on Ethan's shoulder, losing her battle with sleep. He smiled as he watched her eyes struggle to stay open. "Come on" he said, pulling her to her feet. "Let's get you home"

"Are you taking me to bed?" she tried to ask suggestively.

"No – tonight I'm putting you to bed" he said gently, kissing her forehead. "You're going to hate yourself in a few hours." He helped her with her coat and taking her by the hand, led her out the door.

Still ensconced in Patrick's lap, Robin waggled her eyebrows. "Who says married couples have no fun? We're the last ones standing!"

"Technically we're sitting" he grinned.

"Details, details" she dismissed. "You know…."

"Oh lord" he whispered under his breath.

"You know" she started again. "I feel like quoting Top Gun"

"Pardon?"

"You know – Goose and his wife?" Seeing the blank look on Patrick's face, Robin slapped his chest.  
"Owww!" he groaned. "Do you have any idea how hard you hit?"

"As I was saying" she carried on. "Goose and his wife – 'Take me to bed or lose me forever!!"

He shook his head. "You think we're going to get busy tonight?"

"Why?" she purred "Don't you want me?" She pressed herself hard against him.

"I always want you Robin" he said, feeling himself stir "But you are *this* close to passing out"

"Well then we could just bang right here!" She sat up straight, suddenly enthused with her idea. "Remember? Remember the night Mrs. Dixon died and you came here for a drink and I was drunk and I offered to bang you on all the flat surfaces Jake's had to offer? Remember? And you said no and that you wanted a rain check – well….you can collect!"

Patrick chuckled as he thought back to that night. It had been a terrible day at the hospital, having lost a patient with a similar condition to his mother's. He had faltered when telling the young boy of his mother's death and his father had stepped in to help him. He had come to Jake's to blow off some steam and walked in on Robin and her friends half in the bottle with tequila shots. He and Robin had been taking one step forward and a dozen back and weren't on good terms when he walked in to the bar. Loosened by the tequila, she was willing to give in to the tension between them and offered to give him a "special" tour of the bar. He had been moved by her offer of comfort and thought she was adorable. He also knew that there was no way he could take advantage of her in her state. It took her a long time to make up her mind as she weighed her decisions carefully. His desire for her was absolute but it was important to him that she not regret her decision to sleep with him – he wanted her willingly and sober. She had been disappointed when he turned her down but he knew even then that being with her was going to be special and a dirty romp in a bar wasn't what he wanted.

He tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her nose. "I want to bank that for another day. Let's go home, get some water in to you and go to bed."

"But what about banging?" she whined, grinding her hips against his.

Putting his hands on her hips, he stilled her. "Baby – we um…er…we bang a lot and one night of not banging isn't going to kill you though your hangover might."

"Party pooper" she pouted.

"Yes I am." He stood up letting her slide from his lap. "Let's go home"

She sighed exaggeratedly and reached for her coat. Baffled by the sleeves, Patrick watched in amusement as she struggled for several minutes trying to get her arms through the outside first. Seeing her frustration mount, he took the coat from her and held it open, helping her bend her elbows to get it on.

"Stupid coat" she mumbled.

"Five bucks says you pass out in the taxi"

"Oh yea of little faith" she countered as they slid in to the waiting car.

Patrick smiled as her head found his shoulder and her eyes closed within minutes of the taxi moving. Being right was fun.

xxxxx

Nikolas lay on his back staring at the ceiling. Nathalie was wrapped around him, sleeping soundly. He smiled at her tiny little snores and mused on how long it had been since she had slept so well. Bringing his hand down, he stroked her hair gently. He had been completely surprised by her proposal. It was not that he hadn't thought of making the same proposal to her, he was just surprised that she was even considering it.

He loved her in a way that he had loved no other woman. She was his partner and strengthened him with her love. One of the things that he loved most about her was her humility about what she had to offer. She loved him instinctually – there was no pretense, no airs. There were no grand gestures rather millions and millions of tiny ones. She had been so gentle with his heart and so good to his family that he couldn't imagine living a day without her. But marriage scared him. There were so many things that went along with marrying in to his family not the least of which was that it would likely bring his grandmother out of hiding. He knew Helena would not approve of her and would undoubtedly move against her or both of them. The idea of Nathalie being hurt in any way because of him would undo him. He wanted to keep her safe – he needed to keep her safe and would do anything to make that happen.

Nathalie stirred against him, lifting her head with a small groan. Nikolas smiled. "How's that head?"

"Shhh" she said with her eyes still closed. "Not so loud." He kissed the top of her head. "Did you sleep at all?"

"Why? Did I keep you up?" he asked in concern.

"No." She shifted bringing herself closer to him, snaking her arms around him. "But I just know when you don't sleep."

"I was just thinking" he said quietly.

"And would you be thinking at all about the question I asked you last night?" She felt Nikolas tense under her body.

"You remember?"

"I was drunk –I didn't have a lobotomy" she said kindly. Sitting up, she turned to face him and saw the bags under his eyes. She ran her fingers over them gently. "We don't have to get married" she said softly. "I'm okay with the way things are."

"It's not that." He closed his hand over hers, bringing it to his lips. "Are you sure….."

"Next month will be the first anniversary of Drew's death. A year ago next month I thought my life was over. I didn't think finding love a second time would be possible and I had resigned myself to being a single mom. And then I met you. Nikolas, I remember the first time we met when you ran in to me…."

"Um, you ran in to me" he teased.

"As I was the one who wound up on the floor, you definitely ran in to me" she grinned. "I remember the first time you held my hand – my heart leapt. Then there was the night that the storm hit and I stayed over – you kissed me. My stomach flipped, my heart raced and my head swirled – unable to make single coherent thought, save one."

"Which was?" he asked curiously.

"This man and I are going to have a long journey together." She ran her fingers over his chest. "I just didn't think the journey would start so soon. I know I may come across as indecisive but there are some things you just know. And I know I love you and I know I want to grow old with you – whether or not we need to be married to do so is a detail."

Nikolas closed his eyes for several seconds before opening them and gazing at her. "I remember our first kiss too. My knees nearly gave out from it. But I also remember it for what came next – you saved my sister's life – you held my hand – you pushed me in to action while trying to keep your own pain at bay. There aren't a lot of people in my life, outside my family, who have been selfless where I'm concerned. But you were and you will never fully know what that means to me."

"But you don't want to get married…."

"Marrying me is complicated Nat – I worry that it might endanger you. Your parents may be evil but my grandmother is downright psychopathic. I want to marry you – and truthfully, in here" he tapped his heart. "I already am married to you."

Her eyes brimmed with tears. "Me too" she said hoarsely.

"I wasn't sure that you felt the same way but now that I know you do – I can make some arrangements." He stroked her face with the back of his hand. "Will you trust me enough to wait for a bit?"

She gently captured his lips, sucking gently on his bottom lip. "I would wait forever for you."

"You won't have to – I promise."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Both Robin and Patrick snapped their heads up. Diving for the phone, Patrick snatched it from the cradle.

"Dad??"

"Patrick?"

"Wha...what...what do you mean he's missing?"

"I mean he's not here - his chart doesn't indicate that he's been released and neither Dr. Garcia nor Epiphany knows where he is. I was going to call Nathalie but..."

"No, no - you did the right thing" he confirmed, his chest tightening. He clenched his eyes shut, wondering when her luck was going to change. Robin ran her hands soothingly over his shoulders while he spoke with Noah. She could feel his shoulders knot under her hands. "I'll be right in." Clicking the off button, he held the phone against his forehead.

"Are you okay baby?" Robin asked quietly, resting her chin on his shoulder, closing her arms around his waist.

"How the hell does a baby go missing Robin? I can't....she will.....how many times can one person keep coming back?"

"What are you afraid of?"

Patrick sighed heavily but couldn't speak for the lump in his throat. Chewing on his bottom lip, he tried to steady his breathing. "Before....before you came downstairs I was thinking about Drew..."

"I thought you were thinking about the outbreak?" Robin questioned.

"I was." He leaned back in to her embrace. "I was thinking about a phone call I had with Drew during the outbreak - it was no big deal but it was one of the last times I spoke with him. One of the things that made losing him the tiniest bit easier has been having Nat - and the kids - but having Nat in my life - she's that connection to the life I had before you." Robin nodded. "And I'm afraid if something has happened to Oliver....." Patrick blinked several times, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I don't know what she'll do - I'm afraid I'll lose her." He dropped his head, the tears falling in to his lap. "I can't lose anything more" he whispered.

Robin tightened her grip around her husband and pressed her lips into his shoulder. "One thing at a time baby. Let's get dressed and go in." Patrick nodded, putting his hands over hers. "I love you" she whispered against his skin. He nodded mutely before slowly getting up and heading to the shower. Robin sighed as she pulled her robe around her and followed him up the stairs.

xxxxx

Noah met Patrick and Robin by the Nurses Station. Robin couldn't help but notice how haggard he looked - the circles under his eyes were deeper, his face was thinner. He had thrived with Brenda in his life and now he was struggling yet again. Her flight to Rome could not come soon enough. "Hi Noah" she said quietly as Patrick gripped her hand.

"I'm sorry - I shouldn't have brought you out here on your days off" he said as he ran his hand through his salt and pepper hair.

"Why? Where is he?" Patrick asked urgently, his eyes darting around the lobby.

Noah sighed. "Transferred. To Saint Mary's in Virginia. Her parents came in with their lawyer and they moved him."

"What!" Patrick exclaimed. Robin ran her thumb along the inside of his palm trying to soothe him. "What doctor signed off on his transfer?"

Noah shook his head. "No one - they had a court order. A nurse signed off on the chart but the order wasn't in the chart when I first saw it."

"Is Gracie still here or did they steal her too?"

"She's here and still sedated. Patrick - I'm sorry to have worried you."

"I haven't stopped worrying just because he's with the Harders. What is the name of the nurse?"

"Patrick..." Robin started.

"No!" he snapped. "I want the name of this nurse - I left specific orders in his chart that he was not to be moved or discharged without approval from me and Garcia."

"Sport - they had a court order..."

"I don't fucking care" he said, his rage boiling up. "I want the name of the nurse."

"No" Noah said, crossing his arms. "I am not going to let you unleash your fear on some poor nurse who was just doing what was asked of her."

"Asked of her?? What about the orders I wrote" he shook his hand free of Robin's. "What about what I asked for - how dare SHE!" Patrick's bellowing voice could be heard all through the waiting room.

Noah put a hand on Patrick's knotted shoulder. "Patrick - son - you need to calm down.."

He shrugged it off. "Don't tell me to calm down!!"

"Patrick" Noah said softly. "What are you so angry about?"

"They stole him!" he spat. "They stole her kid and I didn't stop it - I was supposed to stop it." Robin and Noah exchanged worried glances. Patrick's behaviour was becoming increasingly irrational.

Stepping forward, Noah took Patrick by the elbow. "Patrick - let's got to my office."

"I don't want to go to your office - I want the name of the nurse!"  
"I'll give you her name after we go to my office."

"Are you handling me?" Patrick's eyes flashed with anger.

"I will if I have to" he said firmly.

"Patrick" Robin said, touching his lower back. "I'm going to go get Rian from Wyndermere, I'll let Nathalie know about Oliver and then why don't I meet you back here?"

"Would you both stop talking to me like I'm insane?"

"Then stop acting like it" Noah said sharply. "Let's go to my office." He nodded at Robin and steered his son away from the gaping strangers.

Patrick said nothing as he followed his father to his office, his heart was beating rapidly and his head was pounding. Entering Noah's office, he flopped on to the couch. "Don't look at me like that" Patrick grumbled as he watched his father ease himself into a chair.

"Like what?" Noah asked, arching his eyebrow. Patrick dropped his eyes. "While I get that you're worried about Oliver, I'm a little concerned at how upset you are." Patrick shrugged. "You know, you used to do that when you were 16 as a way to avoid answering questions. It didn't work then and it won't work now. Patty what's going on?"

He lifted his head at his father's use of the nickname he hadn't used in years. Reaching in to his pocket, he fished out his wallet and pulled a worn piece of paper from it, handing it to his father. Noah took the paper and carefully unfolded it. He scanned it quickly before closing his eyes. "Why do you still carry this with you?"

"As a reminder" he said quietly.

"A reminder for what?"

"Of what my obligations are. He asked me to take care of his children and his wife and I haven't done a very good job at either."

"Patrick" Noah's face softened. "This is a suicide note, not a set of instructions. You have done the very best you can by Nathalie and the kids but you are not responsible for them."

"Yes I am" he said defensively. "I am - he asked me to be. Oliver is now with the two people she doesn't want him to be with and I couldn't stop it - I couldn't stop it" Even Patrick was surprised at the emotions overflowing in him. "I couldn't stop him" he said quietly.

"Couldn't stop whom?" Noah asked, knowing the answer.

"Drew" he said hoarsely. "It's almost a year since he died..."

Noah nodded knowingly. "So his anniversary is approaching?" Patrick nodded quickly. "And you're feeling helpless?"

Patrick ran his hands through his hair. "I shouldn't be - I shouldn't feel helpless - I have Robin and Rian. I've thought about Drew plenty over the last year but it hasn't hurt like this in a very long time – not since I found out. All I could think of when you called was that I failed Nat and Drew."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Failed? Patrick how do you think you've failed them?"

Patrick leaned his head against the couch and stared at the ceiling. He didn't know how to explain it, how to tell another person the delayed regret he had been feeling for days at his inability to recognize that Drew was in trouble. Nathalie's reaction to Drew's suicide was scorched in his memory; he had never seen nor felt such fury in another person and he had begun to think that if only he had been honest with Nathalie the moment he found out, he may have spared her the court case, the public humiliation and the pain of having her children ripped from her. The pain of all it was nearly paralyzing him.

Noah watched quietly as the emotions crossed Patrick's face. He had always been a sensitive child, feeling things more deeply, more profoundly than people ever realized. Though he hadn't seen Patrick's reaction the night he received Drew's letter, he knew from Robin and he knew from being Patrick's father that it rocked him to his core. Patrick was afraid of loss and held tightly to those around him. He had seen how his son had watched Nathalie, ready to ride to her rescue if necessary and he knew that his son would spend the rest of his life trying to make up to her and the children for something that was neither his fault nor his responsibility. His son couldn't stand to see others in pain - it had been the reason he had kept a cold distance between himself and all of his patients. Robin had changed that in him but Patrick's fear and worry still existed just below the surface.

"I thought I was okay" he said hoarsely "but...."

"It hurts?" Noah offered.

Patrick nodded. "Just out of nowhere - it grabbed my chest and hasn't let go."

"Have you told Robin?" He shook his head. "Why not?"

"I don't know" He rubbed his hands over his face. "I guess I'm still afraid she will think me weak."

Noah moved from his chair to sit beside his son on the couch. "She would never think that of you son. Don't you think she knows how much this hurts? Anniversaries are hard. There is no way around them - only through and it's going to hurt like hell - just hang on to those you love and you'll be okay."

Patrick smirked, wiping at the tears in his eyes. "Does it get easier?"

Noah nodded. "It does - it never gets better but it does get easier." He handed the note back to Patrick. "Why don't you take this and put it away somewhere where you won't see it every day. Don't let this define who Drew was - it's only a part of who he was and not the best part. By loving Nathalie and the kids you are doing exactly what he asked of you. You cannot bend the universe to your will - there are other forces at work - concentrate on what's within your control and leave the rest - like court orders and Nat's parents."

"You're pretty smart you know" he joked tiredly.

"In fact I do" he smiled.

xxxxx

"Excuse me ma'am?"

Robin, on her way to her car in the hospital parking garage, turned her head at the sound of the man's voice. "Yes?"

"You dropped this" he said, handing her an envelope.

She looked at the envelope – it was a letter addressed to her father. "Oh wow, thanks" she said taking it from him.

"My pleasure" he smiled sweetly.

Robin narrowed her eyes and stared at him for a moment. "Do I know you?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think so. I'm Anthony, Anthony Waters" Bruce said, extending his hand to her.

Robin shook it. "Sorry about that – you remind me of someone. Robin Scorpio"

"I seem to be getting that a lot lately" he replied, smiling.

"Well, thanks for this" she said holding up the envelope.

"Any time – have a good day Robin."

"Thank you…er, Anthony – you too." Robin walked to her car shaking her head. She had a chill run down her spine but for the life of her couldn't figure out why.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Rian squealed in delight as Alfred escorted his mother in to the main drawing room at Wyndermere. Nathalie was sitting with him on the floor, helping him build with legos. "You don't look too hungover" Nathalie smiled.

"You either" Robin said, sitting down on the floor beside her, gathering her son in her arms and kissing his cheeks over and over again. "Hi baby boy - how's mamma's sweet little boy?"

Nathalie grinned. "He slept through almost the entire night. Spencer seemed to be glad for the company - I think he misses his little buddy Oliver." Nathalie noticed how Robin's body stiffened slightly at the mention of her son's name. She let out a long, slow breath. "What happened?" Robin met her eyes and opened her mouth to speak but found the words harder to come by than she had imagined. Unconsciously, she tightened her grip around her son as she tried to think of the right way to tell her friend the news. Nathalie could see the struggle on her face and gave her a wry smile. "Quick and dirty Robin, I don't need diplomacy." She was becoming an expert at absorbing body blows.

"Your parents got a court order and had Oliver transferred to a hospital in Virginia. I am so sorry."  
Nathalie closed her eyes and let the reality wash over her. Opening her eyes, she offered Robin a weak smile. "I guess I should have seen that coming. I just didn't think they would do it quite so soon."

"Is there anything I can do?" Robin asked as she rubbed Rian's soft, pliable hands with her own.

She shook her head. "No but thanks. I'm assuming they weren't able to transfer Gracie?"

Robin shook her head. "Noah says she's still sedated." Nathalie stood up and blew out her cheeks. "Are you going to the hospital?"

"I am" Nathalie pushed her shoulders back and stood up straight. "But first I'm going to call Alexis and ask her to appeal the order. No matter how this turns out, my kids need to know that I did everything I could to fight for them."

A small smile played at Robin's lips. She was sure she was getting a glimpse of the Nathalie that Patrick knew and admired so much. "Good."

Nathalie winked at her. "There's some fight in the old girl yet. Thanks for letting me know."

Standing up, Robin held Rian to her chest, feeling his warmth against her. "I'm sorry that I don't have better news."

She smiled as brightly as she could, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears. "That's okay. Have a safe trip to Rome and remind Brenda that life is too short to let love slip through your fingers."

"I will - take care of yourself Nathalie."

"Will do - see you when you get back." Nathalie watched as Robin bundled up her son and giving one last wave, smiled as they left. Walking towards the phone, her knees gave way and she grabbed hold of the wingback chair to stay upright. She took several deep breaths before pulling herself up and reaching for the phone. Sinking to the couch, she dialed Alexis' number.

"Alexis - it's Nathalie - I'm ready to fight for my kids."

xxxxx

Lulu groaned as she lifted her head from the pillow. "Oooww." She shielded her eyes from the sunlight creeping in to Ethan's room.

Lying on his side, propping his head up on his hand, he smiled as he tucked her hair behind her ear. "How's it going there champ?"

Narrowing her eyes, she winced. "No one likes a morning person" she grumbled.

"I think you like me" he said, grinning. "At least that's what you said last night between orgasms."

"What??" Lulu asked, sitting up quickly and grabbing her head.

"Drinks babe - you were drinking orgasms."

"I hate them both - they are evil, evil women."

"It really didn't look like they were forcing you."

"Whose side are you on?" Lulu protested, slapping his arm playfully.

"Yours" he teased as he kissed her nose. "Can I interest you in some coffee?"

"How about decapitation?" she groused, rubbing her temples.

"Nah – your head is one of the things I like best about you – I'd hate to lose that."

"Seriously – you are far too cheerful in the morning."

Ethan winked at her and bounded from the bed to get the coffee going. "There's a glass of water by the bed…" he called to her from the kitchen.

Lulu looked at the water and saw that her purse was propped against the bedside table. She smiled as she reached for it, pulling out her meds. He always took such good care of her and while she learned long ago that perfection in another person was impossible, he certainly came close. She sipped on the water before finally getting her meds down. Months after her diagnosis and she still had difficulty swallowing her pills. She wondered if it would ever get easier and at the same time was unsure if she wanted it to get easier – there was something about the struggle with her protocol that kept her very grounded.

Draining the glass, she moved slowly from the bed and walked to the bathroom. Ethan had insisted she leave some essentials at his place since she had been sleeping there almost every night since Valentine's Day. She stared at her toothbrush leaned up against his in the cup by the sink and grinned. The idea of love had scared her – her parents had a big, all-consuming love and she was sure that she would never find it; she was equally sure that she wouldn't know what to do with it if she did. She and Ethan were a long way away from all-consuming love but she did like the way her toothbrush looked in his bathroom. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before heading out to the kitchen.

Dressed only in jeans, Ethan leaned against the counter, cradling a mug; his eyes were closed and a small smile lay across his lips.

"Sleeping standing up?" Lulu asked, hopping on the counter beside him.

He grinned, his eyes still closed. "I'm just savoring the smell of the coffee – I love the smell of coffee." Opening his eyes, his breath hitched slightly as he took in the sight of his girlfriend on the counter beside him. "Almost as much as I love you wearing my t-shirt."

Lulu cocked her head to the side. "How much do you love me wearing your t-shirt?" He raised his eyebrows at her. "For example – enough to let me steal your coffee?" she asked, taking the mug from his hands and taking a long drink.

Moving from the counter, he stood in front of her placing his palms on either side of her hips. Leaning in, he nipped at her lips. "What's mine is yours" he said huskily.

Lulu shimmied closer to him, hooking her legs around his. "Really?" she questioned, her green eyes shining.

Ethan dropped his lips to her neck, leaving a trail of slow, wet kisses. "Really" he said against her skin.

Lulu lightly ran her fingers over his chest, tracing his collar bone. He moaned softly as her touch sent shivers through his body. Lifting his head, he seized her lips, coaxing them apart with his tongue. Lulu sucked greedily on his tongue as it swept in to her mouth and tightening her grip on him, pulled him closer to her. She threaded her fingers through his hair as they kissed deeply. Feeling the start of his erection against her leg, she moved her hips in small circles against him and smiled as she heard him groan into her mouth.

Breathless, they broke the kiss. Sitting back slightly, Lulu pulled the t-shirt from her body and tossed it to the floor. She sat naked in front of him, her skin flushing under his gaze. Panting, he licked his lips as he traced his fingers over her pert breasts, her nipples hardening under his light touch. Pushing into him, she closed her eyes and sighed as he palmed them, gently massaging them. Lulu moved her lips to his neck and began working her tongue in small circles around the hollow of his neck. With one hand, she reached down and stroked his erection through the denim.

Ethan stepped back, his eyes hazy with desire. Putting his hands on his hips, he looked at Lulu. "We have to stop" he said quietly.

"Why?" she asked through hooded eyes, her hangover long forgotten.

"Because" he said, motioning to his erection. "I'm well…..you make me feel so good."

Holding out her hand, Lulu smiled. "Then let me continue to make you feel good."

"Wha…what are you saying?" he asked.

"I want to…" Lulu swallowed and started again. "I want to sleep with you – I want to have sex with you - I mean if you want to." Her cheeks flushed crimson.

"If I want to?" he grinned. "Lulu…." he walked to her and slowly ran his hands down her sides. "I want to very much but I don't want you to feel…"

Putting a finger to his lips, she smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure – I'm ready – I don't want to wait any longer."

"Oh Lu" he whispered, closing his mouth over hers.

Picking her up from the counter, he carried her to the bedroom where he laid her gently on the bed. Stepping out of his jeans, he laid down beside her and began to explore her body with his fingers and his mouth, giving her pleasure she didn't know existed. He loved her slowly, long in to the morning, delighting in her reactions and her confidence.

They lay in each other's arms, sunlight beaming through the windows and Ethan kissed the top of her head while she slept. He had never felt more connected to another person than he did in that moment.

xxxxx

Robin looked at her half packed suitcase while Rian played with a truck on her bed. She had planned to be in Rome for a week and hoped that would be more than enough time to either get Brenda back to Port Charles or at least talking to Noah. If she could even get her to tell Noah her fears and explain why she ran, she felt confident she could convince Noah to go to Rome and reconnect with Brenda.

"Oh baby boy – you and your daddy make me so happy – we have to make sure Grandpa Noah and Auntie Brenda are happy too."

"Got room in that suitcase for me?"

Robin grinned as she turned around. Patrick was leaning against the doorframe, dressed in a navy cashmere turtleneck and his favourite jeans. His face looked lighter than it had at the hospital. "I'll need a bigger suitcase if I'm going to put you in there."

"Or less shoes" he teased walking in to the room. He cupped her face and covered her mouth in staccato kisses. "I'm sorry about earlier" he whispered.

"Are you okay?" she asked, holding on to his belt loops. She knew her husband couldn't be rushed in to sharing his feelings. He would always need time and space and she had vowed long ago that he would always have enough of both from her.  
He shrugged. "I'm struggling a little."

Running her hand over his firm chest, she gazed at him lovingly. "Can I help?"

"I just miss him so much. I realized the other day that I'm not angry with him anymore – I have been so mad at him all this time but I'm not anymore and now I'm just sad."

Robin nodded as she linked her fingers through his. "It will be a year soon."

"I know" he said quietly. "And I guess I just want everything to be okay for Nat because if I miss him this much, I can't begin to imagine how this is affecting her."

"I told her about Oliver"

"And?"

"She took it like Nat takes everything – on the chin but wouldn't go down. She was going to call Alexis and try to fight the court order."

"That's good." Patrick looked at the ground before looking back at his wife. "Can I ask you something? You can say no – and I don't want to get in your way but I don't really want to be away from you right now and I was…um…"

Robin looked at him quizzically. "What is it?"

"How would feel if I went to Rome with you?"


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Robin looked at him in surprise. "You want to come to Rome with me? Do you remember all the shoe and handbag shopping last time?"

He nodded, sitting down on the bed. Placing Rian in his lap, he pressed his lips in to the top of his head. "Hi little man" he whispered. Looking back up at Robin, his deep brown eyes, took on a familiar glint. "Just to be clear, I don't want to be involved in any conversation with Brenda about her hooking up with my father."

Robin laughed lightly and sat down beside him on the bed, facing him. Running her fingers through his hair, she gave him a small smile. "I would love if you came with me but what are we going to do about our little guy? Take him with us?"

"I've spoken to my dad and he's agreed to take him for a week – he's going to use a week's holidays for it."

"That's awfully generous of him."

"He's always happy for Rian-time." Patrick spun his wedding band around his finger. "I'm sorry to be so clingy."

Robin looked at him in surprise. "Clingy? Baby, you're not clingy"

He gave her a small smile. "I feel clingy – I can't explain it – it's like there's something in the air and I just don't want you traveling without me and I don't want to be without you."

She ran her hand along the back of his neck. "So then we go together." Leaning in, she pressed her lips softly against his. He parted his, his tongue darting out, running along her bottom lip. Moving closer to him, Robin wrapped her arms around his neck and began to kiss him deeply, passionately. It didn't matter how many times they kissed, each one felt new yet familiar all at the same time.

Moving his hand to cup her face, both Robin and Patrick laughed as Rian began to squawk. Picking his son up so that he was at eyelevel, he grinned. "Jealous? Are you looking for kisses too?" Patrick gave him big, loud kisses on his cheeks, prompting squeals of delight. He looked at Robin who was beaming. "I guess we'll have to save our play time for later. I'll pack up his stuff so we can drop it at my dad's on our way to the airport." Getting up from the bed, he tucked Rian under his arm, pretending he was an airplane.

"Hey Patrick" Robin called to him as he reached the door.

"Yeah?"

"Rome will make for some great baby making practice" she said, grinning.

Patrick looked at her and then at Rian. "Do you hear that sport? Your momma and I are going to practice making you a brother or a sister while you hang out with gramps – this, my son, is what we call a win/win situation."

Laughing, Robin returned to her packing. Though she never would have asked him, she was grateful that Patrick was coming with her. She too felt something in the air and wanted to stick close to those she loved.

xxxx

"How was Gracie?" Nikolas asked rubbing Nathalie's feet.

Nathalie let out a quiet sigh. "She's still so weak. She opened her eyes for a bit but didn't really recognize me. Dr. Garcia thinks it will be another day or two before she really comes around."

"And my aunt Alexis – she's working on the appeal?"

"She is" Nathalie confirmed. "I don't know how good our chances are but I have to try." She watched Nikolas' face carefully. He had been distracted since he had come home and despite gentle prodding on her part, he had yet to reveal what was bothering him. "And then, when all is said and done, I'm going to pull monkeys from my behind and fly around on them."

"That's good" he said absently.

"I think so" Nathalie said, making a face. "I've also decided that you and I should have a three way with Alfred – do you think that's a good idea?"

He nodded. "Alfred – yeah – great."

Nathalie pulled her feet from his lap. "Nikolas Cassadine – I have just proposed having sex with your butler and you agreed" she said sharply but kindly.

Looking up in surprise, his mouth dropped open. "Er, what?"

"What in the world has you so distracted?"

"I need to go on a business trip" he said, looking at the table in front of him.

"When?" Nathalie asked cautiously.

"Tonight."

Crawling over to him, Nathalie turned his head to face her. "What's going on?" she asked gently. "You are not yourself."

"I want to marry you – you need to know that I want to marry you."

Knitting her brow together, she struggled to follow. "I do know that."

"It's my grandmother – she's escaped from the institution I had her placed in."

"And?"

"And she's a psychopath Nat – she will come after you if she thinks you're a threat to what she wants. If we're going to get married, I need to find her and have her locked up where she can't hurt anyone."

"And that's why you have to leave tonight?"

He nodded, dropping his eyes. He didn't know how to explain his fear to her. He was so close to having what he wanted – what he needed – to having the life he dreamed of but the closer he came the greater the terror. His fear was two-pronged - his grandmother's depravity knew no limits and he knew that Nathalie would be her main target; he also feared that Nathalie would leave – that the insanity that is the Cassadines would prove to be too much and he would be alone again.

She could feel the tension coming from him in waves. Every muscle in his body was tensed and his breathing was shallow. Concerned, Nathalie crawled across him to lean against the arm of the couch. Drawing him against her, she began to massage his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.

"Trying to get you to relax. You are wired for sound and I don't want you off traveling like that."

"I'm fine" he protested weakly.

She continued to rub his shoulders, pushing deep in the knots. "We do not have to get married Nik. We can simply continue as we are…"

"No!" he snapped, sitting up straight. He spun around, facing her, fury streaked across his face. "I want to marry you – I want so very few things in my life but I WANT this. Don't make compromises!"

Nathalie blinked several times, taken aback by his quick temper. "Nikolas" she said calmly.

He looked up sheepishly, mentally kicking himself for yelling at her. He wondered if he reminded her of her father when he did that. He was embarrassed that he had taken his frustration out on her. "I am so sorry – I shouldn't have…"

Putting her finger to his lips, she looked at him intently. "You do not need to apologize to me. Come here" she said, pulling him to her. Reluctant at first, Nikolas relented and snuggled in to her. She ran her hand down his back, soothing him. "Baby" she said quietly, "I love you no matter what. Psycho Granny – whatever – none of that is going to scare me off. Do what you need to do and come home – I'll be here, I promise."

He looked at her in surprise. "How did you…"

"I just know" she smiled, pressing her lips against his cheek. "I love you" she repeated.

"I won't be gone more than a couple of days but I've spoken to Alfred, Alexis and Lulu – you won't be alone."

She flashed a small smile at him. "I know all evidence says otherwise but I don't have a problem being alone."

He nodded against her skin - the warmth from her body and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat soothing him. "I know" he said quietly. "But I don't want you to be alone – I don't ever want you to feel like that again in your life."

Pushing the hair from his forehead, she kissed him gently. "You cannot undo what's been done in my life Nikolas – you are not responsible for the childhood I had."

"I just want you to feel loved and safe."

"I do" she assured him. "Every moment of every day with you." Lifting his head, he captured her lips in a long, hot, wet kiss. Her heart hammering and breathless, Nathalie broke the kiss first. "Wow" she said, fingering her lips.

"I love you" he said, gazing in to her green eyes. "More than I ever knew was possible." She ran her thumbs along his brows, looking at him lovingly. "I should go pack." he said extricating himself from her embrace.

"Okay" she said, looking at him cautiously. In the ten months that she had known Nikolas she had never seen such darkness around him. Afraid for him but not of him, she worried that if he couldn't get his grandmother under control he may go to a place where she couldn't reach him.

xxxxx

Patrick placed his and Robin's bags on the scale at the check in counter and passed their passports to the agent. Linking her fingers through his, she rested her head against his arm. They had had an early morning, dropping Rian off to Noah and she looked forward to relaxing in the comfort of the airport lounge prior to take off.

"Here you go Dr. Drake and Dr. Scorpio-Drake" the agent said, handing them back their boarding passes and passports. "Enjoy your flight."

"Thanks" Patrick said, flashing his dimple. Robin rolled her eyes. She was amused by Patrick's flirtation – it was like breathing to him and he hardly recognized when he did it. Sure of his commitment to her, she enjoyed watching other women swoon over her husband's charms.

Hand in hand, they headed to the security checkpoint, their every move being watched. Bruce slammed his head back against a post when he realized Robin was no longer traveling alone. Reaching in to his coat pocket, he pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"What's the problem?" came the clear, crisp voice.

"She has company"

"Well I guess you're not going to Rome any more."

"I suppose it's time for Plan B"

"Yes – my contact confirmed my grandson is out of the country which means the little tramp is all on her own with no one to ride to her rescue. You know what to do."

"Done." He snapped his phone shut and stared after Robin and Patrick as they disappeared behind the security wall. "Soon Robin – very soon."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Robin looked at him in surprise. "You want to come to Rome with me? Do you remember all the shoe and handbag shopping last time?"

He nodded, sitting down on the bed. Placing Rian in his lap, he pressed his lips in to the top of his head. "Hi little man" he whispered. Looking back up at Robin, his deep brown eyes, took on a familiar glint. "Just to be clear, I don't want to be involved in any conversation with Brenda about her hooking up with my father."

Robin laughed lightly and sat down beside him on the bed, facing him. Running her fingers through his hair, she gave him a small smile. "I would love if you came with me but what are we going to do about our little guy? Take him with us?"

"I've spoken to my dad and he's agreed to take him for a week – he's going to use a week's holidays for it."

"That's awfully generous of him."

"He's always happy for Rian-time." Patrick spun his wedding band around his finger. "I'm sorry to be so clingy."

Robin looked at him in surprise. "Clingy? Baby, you're not clingy"

He gave her a small smile. "I feel clingy – I can't explain it – it's like there's something in the air and I just don't want you traveling without me and I don't want to be without you."

She ran her hand along the back of his neck. "So then we go together." Leaning in, she pressed her lips softly against his. He parted his, his tongue darting out, running along her bottom lip. Moving closer to him, Robin wrapped her arms around his neck and began to kiss him deeply, passionately. It didn't matter how many times they kissed, each one felt new yet familiar all at the same time.

Moving his hand to cup her face, both Robin and Patrick laughed as Rian began to squawk. Picking his son up so that he was at eyelevel, he grinned. "Jealous? Are you looking for kisses too?" Patrick gave him big, loud kisses on his cheeks, prompting squeals of delight. He looked at Robin who was beaming. "I guess we'll have to save our play time for later. I'll pack up his stuff so we can drop it at my dad's on our way to the airport." Getting up from the bed, he tucked Rian under his arm, pretending he was an airplane.

"Hey Patrick" Robin called to him as he reached the door.

"Yeah?"

"Rome will make for some great baby making practice" she said, grinning.

Patrick looked at her and then at Rian. "Do you hear that sport? Your momma and I are going to practice making you a brother or a sister while you hang out with gramps – this, my son, is what we call a win/win situation."

Laughing, Robin returned to her packing. Though she never would have asked him, she was grateful that Patrick was coming with her. She too felt something in the air and wanted to stick close to those she loved.

*******  
"How was Gracie?" Nikolas asked rubbing Nathalie's feet.

Nathalie let out a quiet sigh. "She's still so weak. She opened her eyes for a bit but didn't really recognize me. Dr. Garcia thinks it will be another day or two before she really comes around."

"And my aunt Alexis – she's working on the appeal?"

"She is" Nathalie confirmed. "I don't know how good our chances are but I have to try." She watched Nikolas' face carefully. He had been distracted since he had come home and despite gentle prodding on her part, he had yet to reveal what was bothering him. "And then, when all is said and done, I'm going to pull monkeys from my behind and fly around on them."

"That's good" he said absently.

"I think so" Nathalie said, making a face. "I've also decided that you and I should have a three way with Alfred – do you think that's a good idea?"

He nodded. "Alfred – yeah – great."

Nathalie pulled her feet from his lap. "Nikolas Cassadine – I have just proposed having sex with your butler and you agreed" she said sharply but kindly.

Looking up in surprise, his mouth dropped open. "Er, what?"

"What in the world has you so distracted?"

"I need to go on a business trip" he said, looking at the table in front of him.

"When?" Nathalie asked cautiously.

"Tonight."

Crawling over to him, Nathalie turned his head to face her. "What's going on?" she asked gently. "You are not yourself."

"I want to marry you – you need to know that I want to marry you."

Knitting her brow together, she struggled to follow. "I do know that."

"It's my grandmother – she's escaped from the institution I had her placed in."

"And?"

"And she's a psychopath Nat – she will come after you if she thinks you're a threat to what she wants. If we're going to get married, I need to find her and have her locked up where she can't hurt anyone."

"And that's why you have to leave tonight?"

He nodded, dropping his eyes. He didn't know how to explain his fear to her. He was so close to having what he wanted – what he needed – to having the life he dreamed of but the closer he came the greater the terror. His fear was two-pronged - his grandmother's depravity knew no limits and he knew that Nathalie would be her main target; he also feared that Nathalie would leave – that the insanity that is the Cassadines would prove to be too much and he would be alone again.

She could feel the tension coming from him in waves. Every muscle in his body was tensed and his breathing was shallow. Concerned, Nathalie crawled across him to lean against the arm of the couch. Drawing him against her, she began to massage his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.

"Trying to get you to relax. You are wired for sound and I don't want you off traveling like that."

"I'm fine" he protested weakly.

She continued to rub his shoulders, pushing deep in the knots. "We do not have to get married Nik. We can simply continue as we are…"

"No!" he snapped, sitting up straight. He spun around, facing her, fury streaked across his face. "I want to marry you – I want so very few things in my life but I WANT this. Don't make compromises!"

Nathalie blinked several times, taken aback by his quick temper. "Nikolas" she said calmly.

He looked up sheepishly, mentally kicking himself for yelling at her. He wondered if he reminded her of her father when he did that. He was embarrassed that he had taken his frustration out on her. "I am so sorry – I shouldn't have…"

Putting her finger to his lips, she looked at him intently. "You do not need to apologize to me. Come here" she said, pulling him to her. Reluctant at first, Nikolas relented and snuggled in to her. She ran her hand down his back, soothing him. "Baby" she said quietly, "I love you no matter what. Psycho Granny – whatever – none of that is going to scare me off. Do what you need to do and come home – I'll be here, I promise."

He looked at her in surprise. "How did you…"

"I just know" she smiled, pressing her lips against his cheek. "I love you" she repeated.

"I won't be gone more than a couple of days but I've spoken to Alfred, Alexis and Lulu – you won't be alone."

She flashed a small smile at him. "I know all evidence says otherwise but I don't have a problem being alone."

He nodded against her skin - the warmth from her body and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat soothing him. "I know" he said quietly. "But I don't want you to be alone – I don't ever want you to feel like that again in your life."

Pushing the hair from his forehead, she kissed him gently. "You cannot undo what's been done in my life Nikolas – you are not responsible for the childhood I had."

"I just want you to feel loved and safe."

"I do" she assured him. "Every moment of every day with you." Lifting his head, he captured her lips in a long, hot, wet kiss. Her heart hammering and breathless, Nathalie broke the kiss first. "Wow" she said, fingering her lips.

"I love you" he said, gazing in to her green eyes. "More than I ever knew was possible." She ran her thumbs along his brows, looking at him lovingly. "I should go pack." he said extricating himself from her embrace.

"Okay" she said, looking at him cautiously. In the ten months that she had known Nikolas she had never seen such darkness around him. Afraid for him but not of him, she worried that if he couldn't get his grandmother under control he may go to a place where she couldn't reach him.

*******  
Patrick placed his and Robin's bags on the scale at the check in counter and passed their passports to the agent. Linking her fingers through his, she rested her head against his arm. They had had an early morning, dropping Rian off to Noah and she looked forward to relaxing in the comfort of the airport lounge prior to take off.

"Here you go Dr. Drake and Dr. Scorpio-Drake" the agent said, handing them back their boarding passes and passports. "Enjoy your flight."

"Thanks" Patrick said, flashing his dimple. Robin rolled her eyes. She was amused by Patrick's flirtation – it was like breathing to him and he hardly recognized when he did it. Sure of his commitment to her, she enjoyed watching other women swoon over her husband's charms.

Hand in hand, they headed to the security checkpoint, their every move being watched. Bruce slammed his head back against a post when he realized Robin was no longer traveling alone. Reaching in to his coat pocket, he pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"What's the problem?" came the clear, crisp voice.

"She has company"

"Well I guess you're not going to Rome any more."

"I suppose it's time for Plan B"

"Yes – my contact confirmed my grandson is out of the country which means the little tramp is all on her own with no one to ride to her rescue. You know what to do."

"Done." He snapped his phone shut and stared after Robin and Patrick as they disappeared behind the security wall. "Soon Robin – very soon."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Nathalie rolled over in the empty bed and sighed. Nikolas had left the night before and sleeping alone for the first time in weeks, she found the bed to be empty and lonely. Finally kicking the covers back, she rolled out of bed, pulling her yoga pants and one of Nik's sweatshirts on. Heading down the stairs, she stopped several steps from the bottom, seeing Lulu curled up with Ethan drinking coffee.

"Good morning" she said skipping down the rest of the stairs.

"Hey Nat" Lulu said, blushing.

"Hi" Ethan said brightly.

"Where is Spencer?"

"Your brother had to leave on a business trip and took him with him." Nathalie sank in to a chair. "So - what have you two been up to?" she asked mischievously.

Lulu blushed to the roots of her hair while Ethan grinned. "We just got up" he said, linking his fingers through hers. "And Lulu is in the process of drinking all my coffee."

"Lu!" Nathalie said in mock shock. "Coffee stealing is awfully personal, are you sure you guys have reached that point in your relationship?"

"You are evil - pure evil" Lulu said, sticking her tongue out at her.

"Why? Because I like seeing you blush? Ethan, don't you like seeing her blush?"

"I do" he teased, nipping at her neck.

Lulu snapped her head up, looking at Ethan. "You're on *her* side?"

He shrugged. "She scares me a little."

"Good boy Ethan" Nathalie grinned.

"How long is Nik gone for?" Lulu asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

"A couple of days I think - he wasn't sure how long things would take."

"Are you going to see Gracie?"

Nathalie nodded. "Right after I shower. She was still pretty out of it yesterday but I promised I would spend the day with her. I have all her favourite books packed and we're just going to read and hang out." She took a slow steadying breath. Speaking about Grace made it all so real and the pain was nearly unbearable. It would be weeks before they would know for sure if the marrow transplant worked.

"How is your daughter doing?" Ethan asked carefully.

Nathalie smiled at him kindly. "She's hanging in - she's a tough kid."

"She gets that from you" Lulu said softly.  
"That's kind of you to say." Suddenly uncomfortable with the attention, she stood up. "Well I better get going if I'm going to get there. Nice to see you again Ethan" she said.

"You too Nathalie."

"Tell Gracie I say hi and that I'll be in to see her as soon as she's allowed more visitors."

"I will -you guys have a good day." Nathalie bounded up the stairs and out of sight. Lulu watched her go and sighing, sank against Ethan.

"What is it?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"I just feel so badly for Gracie -she's so young and there's so much turmoil around her along with her leukemia."

He nuzzled her neck. "She's lucky to have such a loving mom."

"Did you get along with your mom?" she asked tentatively. She felt his body tense slightly. "We uh, we don't have to talk about her if you don't want to."

"It's okay - I just don't talk about her very much."

"Because you miss her?"

"Yeah" he said hoarsely. "She was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She had this hand cream that she wore, I swear sometimes just before I go to sleep I can smell it."

Lulu pulled his arms tighter around her. "Did she watch you play hockey?"

He smirked at the memory. "Would not miss a game. I could always hear her when I was on the ice - she cheered so loudly. She got thrown out of a game once."

Turning her head, she looked at him in surprise. "No way!"

"Way - I got a double minor penalty and she thought the ref was out of line so she lost it on him, screaming at him - it was the only time I ever heard my mom swear" he chuckled. "And the ref ordered her removed or my team would have to forfeit the game"

"Did she leave?"

"Grudgingly." Nestling in against him, Lulu tipped her head back and reached for his lips. He pressed his lips hard against hers. "I was with her when she was murdered" he whispered, so quietly Lulu was not sure she had heard him correctly.

Turning around, she straddled his lap. "Oh Ethan."

With memories flooding back, he bit his lip to keep his emotions in check. "You're the only person outside my family who knows."

Cupping his face, Lulu stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I am so sorry." He nodded. She nipped at his lips. "Thank you for trusting me" she said softly.

"I do, you know." His blue eyes shone through the pain. "I do trust you."

"And I trust you."

"Lulu" he looked at her intently. "I think I might be falling in love with you."

*******

Looking at her daughter sleeping peacefully, Nathalie stood up and stretched. She had been in her room for over six hours and despite Grace beign asleep for most of that time, she persisted in reading all of the books she brought with her and when she was done with those, she sang to her, told her stories about her father and held her hand. Dressed in a gown, mask and gloves, she wanted nothing more than to have her skin touch her daughter's skin but the danger of infection was so high she didn't dare do anything that would jeopardize Grace's health.

Emotionally drained, Nathalie kissed her gloved hand and put it against Grace's cheek. "Bye baby girl. I love you so much - I'll be back to see you tomorrow. Sleep well my angel." Exiting the room, she tiredly pulled the mask from her face and the gloves from her hands, depositing them in the bin outside her room. Looking up, she saw a familiar face, leaning up against the wall, looking through the window of the room across from Grace's. "Hello again" she said.

Bruce looked up, biting back the smile of satisfaction threatening to cross his lips. "Nathalie, right?"

"Yes" she smiled. "Anthony, right?" He nodded. Walking towards him, she looked in the window and saw a young girl, bald from chemo. "Is that your daughter?"

"No" he sighed. "My niece - she has a tumor on her leg and if this round of chemo doesn't work they are going to have to amputate."

"Oh Anthony" Nathalie said sympathetically, leaning against the wall beside him. "I am so sorry."

"Thanks" she shrugged. "Your daughter?" he asked, motioning to Grace's room.

She nodded sadly. "Leukemia."

"Cancer and kids - it's a painful combination."

"It is." Nathalie studied his face, trying to see past the similarities with Drew and see him for who he was. "Are you going to go in and see her?"

He shook his head. "I just...I ...god it's so hard" he said, pressing his fists into his eyes to stop the tears.

Nathalie put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know how hard it is."

"I guess you do, don't you?" he sniffled. "And that's just my niece -you seem to be holding it together given the circumstances."

Nathalie smiled weakly. "Some days - other days I just hope to fake it enough that no one can see what's really going on."

"Not even your husband?" he asked innocently.

Grimacing slightly, she stood up slightly. "No husband - my boyfriend."

"Ah. Is he here?" he looked down the hall as if searching.

"No - he's traveling at the moment." Bruce nodded. "Are you married?"

"No - this is my brother's daughter." He sighed heavily. "Do you ever get used to it? I really want to be there for him but I don't know exactly what to do?" Biting his lip, he watched as Nathalie fell for his ploy.

"There's lots of things you can do for him."

"Care to tell me how?" he asked hopefully.

"Let me buy you a coffee"

"I am sick of the coffee in this place - how about a real drink?"

Nathalie paused for a moment and looked at him carefully, recognizing the fear and defeated look in his eyes. She had been the beneficiary of such generosity and support from the people in her life she felt an obligation to share it. "A real drink sounds great" she smiled brightly. "Jake's?"

"Perfect." Getting her to play along was easier than he had expected. They walked down the hall and out the hospital doors on their way to Jake's.

********  
She waved to Coleman as they took their seats. Nervous energy was coursing through her, twisting her stomach in knots. Chalking it up to Anthony being a doppelganger for her dead husband, she ignored the feeling in her stomach and smiled at him. They ordered beer and feel in to an easy patter with each other.

She listened attentively as he told her the heartbreaking story of his niece and the rounds of chemotherapy she had been through to battle the tumors. Nathalie felt tightness in her chest when she heard that his brother and sister-in-law had gone through a difficult divorce and protracted custody battle. With her tongue loosened by two beers, she told him about her custody battle and how her parents had taken her son, fresh from bone marrow surgery, from the hospital and back to Virginia. Anthony gave her a sympathetic smile and patted her shoulder. Out of nowhere tears started to stream down her cheeks and she smiled nervously at him.

"I'm sorry" she said, wiping furiously at her face.

"It's okay Nathalie – god you've really been through the ringer."

She nodded. "It hasn't been easy but my boyfriend and my friends have been so incredibly supportive."

"And you've been so supportive of me" he said leaning in. "You know, this is the first chance I have had to speak to someone about how I'm feeling. I love Annie so much –more than life but I just haven't been able to talk to anyone about how scared I am."

Nathalie put her hand over his. "I know – unless you're going through it, it's hard to explain it to others."

He nodded. "Another round?"

Checking her watch she realized she had no where to be and no one expecting her. "Sure – I'm just going to pop to the ladies' room and fix my face."

Beaming at her, Anthony gave her hand a small squeeze. "Nothing to fix"

She smiled awkwardly and headed to the back of the bar. Coleman was leaning up against the wall as she walked past. "Hey Coleman"

"Hi Darling" he smiled. "Who's your friend?" Having an uneasy feeling about Nathalie's companion, he was direct in his questioning.

"I met him at the hospital – his niece has cancer too – we're just comparing war stories."

He nodded. "Where's your old man tonight? I'm hoping him and the doc will duet on karaoke."

She let out a small giggle. "Oh what I would pay to see that! He's away on business and Patrick and Robin are off to Italy – so, sorry – no karaoke from us tonight."

Coleman grinned. "Too bad for me then. Be careful darling – you're one of my favourite customers."

Nathalie leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "And you are my favourite bar owner." She winked at him as she pushed open the door to the ladies' room.

Shaking his head, Coleman walked back to the bar. He did not like the feeling in the pit of his stomach. There was something in the air and if he was noticing it, it couldn't be good.

Returning to her seat, she clinked bottles with Anthony and took a long drink of her beer. With some gentle prodding, he began to peel back the layers. He was a painter who had spent several years studying and working in Europe. He spoke passionately about his love of the great masters and how on his first visit to the Sistine Chapel, he lay on the floor and shimmied from one end of the room to the other in order to fully appreciate the wonder of Michelangelo's creation.

Nathalie was enraptured by his stories and closed her hand over his. Moving closer to her, Anthony put a hand on her leg and stroked it gently. Nathalie swayed slightly on the stool, feeling overwhelmed by his touch. He kept talking as his hand worked further up her leg. Instinctively, she parted her legs slightly.

"You're a beautiful woman" he whispered.

With an almost euphoric feeling, Nathalie leaned in and closed her mouth over his. He plunged his tongue in her mouth, tangling it with hers. Trying to move closer to him to deepen the kiss, Nathalie fell from her stool.

"Whoops!" she said laughing loudly. Anthony jumped from the stool and helped her to her feet. She swayed as she took a step and felt her stomach lurch. "Ouf! I'm not feeling very well."

A knowing smile formed on his face. "That's okay Nathalie, why don't you come home with me and I'll take care of you."

"Okay" she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't know how well I can walk though – how much have we had to drink because I may be turning in to a lightweight."

"Nah" he pressed his lips against hers. "You're not a lightweight – you're perfect."

Looking at him cross-eyed, she smiled sadly. "You look like my dead husband – I kind of wish you were him."  
"I can be whoever you want me to be baby."

Coleman put down the glass he had been washing – he did not like the scene unfolding before him one bit. Walking over to them, he put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey darlin' everything okay?"

"Coleman! You are one sexy man – do you have a girlfriend? I should find you a girlfriend."

Narrowing his eyes, he looked past her at Anthony. "What's going on?"

He shrugged. "Too much to drink and not feeling well, I was just going to see her home."

"That's okay man, I got it." Coleman tightened his grip on her.

"It's not a problem for me to take her home – I would be happy to help her."

"I just bet you would. I said I got it – she's a friend of mine and I promised her boyfriend I would look out for her so feel free to run along."

He opened his mouth to protest but realized he had lost. Plan B was not going as planned. "Bye Nat" he said, dropping his hand from her waist.

"Bye Drew" she said, slurring her words.

Coleman stood holding her and watched as the stranger left the bar. Once satisfied that he was gone, he turned his attention back to Nathalie. "Okay sweetpea, something is not right here."

"You know what's not right? I'm a sexy woman who is going to sleep alone tonight – do you want to sleep with me?"

"Another time sweetheart" he said, leading her to his office in the back. He settled her in a chair and stuffed a cushion on either side of her so she wouldn't fall out. Pulling his rolodex from the drawer he began to flip through his cards. "They picked a fine time to leave you all alone. How about I call Lulu?"

"NO!" Nathalie said quickly "She's…she's…sex with her new boyfriend – can't interrupt the sex." Sighing loudly, she closed her eyes. "I need some sex – are you sure you don't want to sleep with me? I'm really very good."

He swore under his breath and reached for the card he needed. Dialing the number he gave a brief synopsis of the situation before hanging up. "Okay sweetheart, help is on the way."

"I need so much help Coleman" she said slumping in the chair. "I don't feel very good."

"I know you don't – just hang tough though."

"My husband killed himself – drove his car in to oncoming traffic – somehow he thought that would be less painful than dying of ALS. I didn't know he was sick – I'm a terrible person."

Coleman swallowed thickly. He had recognized her as a damaged kindred but never knew why, now that he did, he wished he didn't. It wasn't long before Noah came bursting through the doors of his office, carrying Rian.

"Doc Drake" Coleman said, nodding at Nathalie.

"NOAH!" Nathalie said excitedly, bouncing from her chair. She nearly toppled over but struggled to stay upright. Walking to him, she stroked his face. "How come we've never hooked up? We should hook up now – you are a hot, sexy man."

Blushing to his roots, Noah looked from her to Coleman. "She was in here with some guy she met at the hospital. She's only had a couple of beers, I've seen her put back way more. I can't prove it but I think he slipped something in her drink."

He nodded, recognizing that Nathalie was clearly not herself. "I appreciate you calling me." Reaching out, he took Nathalie's hand. "Hey Nat" he said softly. "Do you think you can come to the hospital with me?"

"Why?" she asked worriedly, her eyes filling with tears. "Is it Gracie? If something happens to her I won't be able to go on. I'm not strong Noah" she said, rambling. "I'm not strong, I'm shut down – I just make sure I don't feel anything –it doesn't always work and if something hurts too much I don't know what to do"

"Gracie is fine" he said reassuringly. "I just want to…we just need to check a few things for you – Nikolas asked that you do this for him?"

"He did?" she sighed. "I love him so much – we aren't going to make it but I love him."

Noah closed his eyes briefly. He had known for a long time that Nathalie stuffed her pain to the side, moved it out of the way so she could function and while it had worked for quite some time, if you were looking for it, you could see parts of it seeping out. It was obvious to him that the combination of Grace's illness and the approaching anniversary of Drew's death were sending her in to emotional overdrive. Whatever the cause of her strange behaviour was, it didn't take away from the truth she was telling. "Let's go sweetheart – I'm going to take care of you."

"You're a good man Noah" she sighed. "And you too Coleman!"

"Bye darling – you be good for Doc Noah."

She smiled brightly. "I will."

******  
It had been a short walk to the hospital and seeing how his hands were full, Epiphany offered to take Rian while Noah settled Nathalie in to an exam room. She hadn't been there long before she began to vomit. Her gag reflex seemed to be off and she swallowed as much as she spit out. Moving quickly, Noah and the nurse turned her on to her side, with her head off the bed in an attempt to keep her from choking. A second nurse came in to draw blood.

"I want a full panel of tests run – I'm pretty sure I know what's going on but let's cover off every possibility. I want those results back asap – this cannot wait." The second nurse nodded and left quickly.

"What do you think it is?" the first nurse asked.

"I think someone put GHB – the date rape drug – in her drink."


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Robin flopped on to the bed in their suite. "I forget how exhausting long flights can be" she sighed dramatically.

"Excuse me?" Patrick said placing his wallet on the bedside table as he flopped down beside her. "I'm the one who needs to get their shirt dry cleaned because you spent the last seven hours drooling all over it. Have you ever considered a chin cup?"

"Jerk" she teased, slapping his arm playfully. Robin rolled on to her side and lovingly pushed his hair from his face. Even though she had come to Rome to see Brenda, she was grateful for the quiet time with her husband.

His brown eyes dancing, Patrick grinned. "Hi" he said softly.

"Hi" she replied.

Patrick slowly slid his hand around her waist and pulled her to him. "When are you seeing Brenda?"

Running her hand down his arm, her mouth formed a slow smile. "Well given that I'm planning on ambushing her – I don't have to see her until tomorrow."

Moving closer to her so that his lips were hovering inches away from hers, Patrick returned her smile. "Really?"

"Really" she nodded.

"I see. Have I mentioned that it's been far too long since I've ravished you?"

"Oh?" she asked with her eyebrows raised. "It's only been three days."

"Four if you count the time difference, which really, is three days too long." He slowly brought his mouth down over hers, kissing her soft, succulent lips. Robin moaned quietly. Their lives had been busy, hectic even and time alone had been hard to come by. Rolling her on to her back, Patrick moved his lips to her cheek and then her ear where he suckled on the soft flesh. Closing her eyes as his lips sent shockwaves through her body Robin ran her hand through his hair. He left a trail of small, wet kisses down the length of her neck as he moved to her collar bone. "I love the way you taste" he said huskily.

Stretching out, Robin raised her hands over her head. "Make love to me husband" she said, her brown eyes, liquid with desire.

Letting out a small growl, Patrick kneeled up and undid his purple shirt, tossing it to the ground. Robin licked her lips unconsciously at the sight of her husband's bare torso. Slowly lowering himself back down towards her, he flicked open the buttons on her sweater, exposing her pink lace bra to him. Dipping his head between her breasts, he breathed her in, his lips tickling her skin. His fingers slowly traced the length of her torso, never lingering in one spot for too long. As he kissed each nipple through the lacy fabric, Robin began to slowly writhe underneath him. Pulling her sweater from her body, he tossed it on top of his shirt on the floor. Reaching behind her, he quickly undid the clasp to her bra, letting it fall down, revealing her pert breasts. She watched as he touched her lovingly, palming her breasts, gently kneading them. Her legs parted slightly as heat rushed to her centre.

He licked and sucked on one breast while massaging the other one. "I love your body" he whispered before taking her nipple in his mouth.

"Jesus" she hissed. Her hands ran through his hair needfully, desperate to touch him.

Patrick shifted slightly as his confined arousal began to pulse. Moving from her breasts, he kissed her torso to the top of her pants. Undoing the button fly, he grazed his knuckles against her panties causing her to buck under his touch. Standing up, he pulled them from her legs and threw them on the growing pile of clothes. Before he could resume his position on the bed, Robin sat up and with her tiny hands, undid his belt and pants, freeing his erection. Leaning forward, she ran her tongue along its length through the thin fabric of his boxer-briefs. She let her fingers dance over the wet spot. "I'm glad I'm not the only one" she said looking at him under her eyelashes.

Growling, Patrick ripped off his underwear and pushed her further up the bed. "Do you see what you do to me wife? My body knows you" he said, fisting his cock.

Closing her hand over his, they moved along his length in unison. "And I know your body" she said thickly. "Every delicious inch."

Lying facing each other, they joined their lips in a wet, hot kiss, their tongues tangling with each other. Letting Robin continue to work his pulsing arousal, Patrick traced his fingers along her inner thighs and smiled against her lips as she parted them for him. He leisurely traced the outline of her sex, teasingly dipping his fingers inside before pulling them out quickly. Robin groaned at the loss of contact and pushed her aching centre towards him. With his lips feasting on her neck, Patrick finally heeded her demand and slipped two fingers deep in her wetness, stroking and massaging her. She matched his rhythm, pulling on his dick in time with his hands. Closing his eyes, Patrick threw his head back at the feelings she created in him. He never tired of having her touch him, of feeling her respond to his ministrations. Her hips undulated against his hand as her centre became wetter.

Raking her hand across his chest, Robin lowered her head and covered the trail with kisses, taking time to work her tongue around his nipples, grazing them with her teeth.

"You make me feel so amazing" he whispered. Robin smiled and letting go of him, reached for his wallet on the bedside table. Retrieving the foil packet, she tore it open and kneeling up, pushed him on his back. Patrick locked his hands behind his head and watched her lustily as she kissed his body, working her way down. She left short staccato kisses along the underside of his length before sheathing him. "Fuck Robin" he hissed as she closed her lips around him. He held her hair back as she bobbed up and down, letting her tongue lavish him. Feeling a familiar stirring in his stomach, he pulled her up and grinned. "Don't want it to be over before we get going."

"Baby this is just a warm up" Holding the base of his cock, she lined him up at her slick entrance and slowly, agonizingly lowered herself on him. She squeezed him as she rode him, controlling the pace. Gripping her hips, he locked eyes with her as she continued to move up and down his length.

"I love you" he said, smiling.

"I know" she panted. "Lu-lucky me" She stilled for a moment, feeling his hips jerk against her, urging her forward. Instead she clenched her walls around him, smiling as his eyes went glassy. "Feel good baby?"

"Go-g-god yes" he said breathlessly.

Leaning over him, pushing him in deeper, she covered his chest in kisses as her hips rocked against his. "So yummy" she said as she licked his bare skin.

"Not going to last" he said quickly as the pulsing in his cock became more insistent.

Sitting up straight, Robin gazed lovingly at him as she rolled her nipples between her thumb and forefinger. "Come for me baby – I want to feel you let go" Milking him, she watched as he struggled to hang on before finally giving in to the overwhelming feelings. Her name tore from his lips as his came hard against her. At the first wave of his orgasm, Robin gave over to her climax, arching her body and crying out his name.

Spent, she collapsed on top of him, their bodies slick with sweat. Breathing raggedly, Patrick stroked her hair, while pressing his lips against the top of her head. "I think we may have found the cure for jetlag" he teased.

Lifting her head, Robin smiled lazily. "I'm ready to stay up all day if you are."

*******

Noah watched as Nathalie slept. After nearly an hour of vomiting, she had curled into a ball on the exam table, disoriented and incoherent. He had held her hand and stroked her hair reassuringly. The test results were rushed back to him and confirmed his initial suspicions – someone had slipped GHB in to Nathalie's drink and had Coleman not interceded she likely would have found herself in more trouble than she could have handled. There was no antidote, other than time, for the popular drug often used in date-rape cases. Once she had drained her i.v. replenishing her fluids, Noah had brought her back to his apartment and tucked her in to his bed and Rian into his playpen. Having spent too much time at the hospital as it was, he felt it would be better for her to wake up to a friendly face rather than a cold room.

In watching her he had come to realize just how much affection he had for her. She was a woman who loved his son, provided him safety and shelter for all those years when he couldn't but more than that, she had reached out to him on occasion imbuing him with some of the compassion that Patrick had spent years raving about. He also recognized much of his own pain and suffering in her and knew that it was nearly impossible to show yourself kindness but he could certainly do it for her.

Nathalie's eyes fluttered as she gripped her head. "Oooh" she moaned. Her head ached and pounded and it made her stomach churn. Her mouth was dry and she licked at her lips to moisten them. She didn't remember drinking and couldn't figure out why she felt so hung over. Trying to sit up, a wave a pain washed over her and she groaned as she fell back against the pillows.

"Nathalie?"

Painfully prying open her eyes, she looked around the room in confusion before settling on Noah's face. "No-Noah?" she croaked.

He smiled kindly. "Hi there."

A more detailed look around the room told her she was neither at her house nor at Wyndermere. "Wh-where am I?"

"You're at my apartment – you had a bit of a problem last night."

She looked at him warily while her stomach continued to churn. "I got drunk?"

He shook his head. "No. Look, why don't you sip on that water and I'll get you some meds for your headache."

"Am I okay?"

"You're going to be fine" he said getting up. "Slow sips of water."

Reaching for the glass, she brought it to her lips and took a small sip, the water soothing her raw throat. A chill ran down her spine as she struggled to figure out why her throat was so raw and what could have happened that landed her at Noah's apartment. Closing her eyes she tried to think about yesterday's events but couldn't remember anything beyond reading to Gracie. Sitting up suddenly, she cradled her head in her hands. Something must have happened to her daughter and she became hysterical. A small sob escaped her throat as she realized her daughter must have died.

Hearing her strangled cry, Noah came running back to the room. "Nat?"

Her green eyes brimmed with tears. "Gracie's dead isn't she? She died." Her chest started to heave. Noah crossed the room in two long strides and sitting down on the bed, pulled her into his arms.

"She's not dead" he said firmly while rubbing her back. "She's fine Nathalie, I saw her myself last night – she's not dead."

Pulling back slightly, she wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I – I can't remember anything Noah" she said with panic creeping in to her voice. "All I remember is reading to her and I …it's all a blank after that."

Taking her hand, he opened it and dropped two pills in it. "Get those in you and I'll tell you what happened." Like an obedient child, Nathalie swallowed the two pills and looked to Noah for reassurance. He held both of her hands, rubbing them with his thumbs. "You wound up at Jake's last night having drinks with some man you met in the oncology ward."

"What?" The confusion was clearly etched across her face.

"Coleman said that you had a couple of drinks and started to behave strangely. This guy was trying to escort you home but I guess Coleman's spidey sense was tingling and he on to you. Since everyone else is out of town, he called me…"

"Oh god, Noah – I am so…"

Noah shook his head. "Don't finish that thought. Coleman did the right thing – you were in all kinds of trouble."

"What? Why?"

Taking a deep breath, he gave her a reassuring smile. "Your drink or drinks were spiked with GHB – it causes euphoria and disinhibited behaviour. But it also causes your gag reflex to relax which is bad thing if you're vomiting…"

"Was I?"

"You were – most people have an adverse reaction to GHB and you were no different. Nathalie, people left alone after ingesting GHB often die by choking. It also causes memory loss which is why the drug is so popular with rapists."

Nathalie's face paled. "Oh my." Noah continued to rub her hands, letting the information sink in. "You mean, I could have been…he would have….I don't even remember what he looks like" she sighed heavily. "When you say disinhibited behaviour…" she licked at her lips, dreading the question but she needed the answer. "Did I do anything….was I inappropriate?"

"No" he said firmly. "You were confused and emotional but you were fine." For Noah there was no reason she ever needed to know that she propositioned him.

Nathalie noticed the way he was looking at her and shifted in the bed. "But I did do something – what was it?"

He gave her a wry smile. "You know, behaviour isn't the only thing that changes when inhibitions are removed – people speak more freely as well…"

She covered her face with hands, blushing at the possibility of the many embarrassing things she said. "God, how mortifying was I?"

Noah sat quietly lettin her keep her face covered. "Not mortifying Nathalie, but you did give me a glimpse as to how much pain you're in and I'm worried about you" he said softly.

She dropped her hands and straightened up. "I'm fine – really."

"I like your stoicism but it doesn't work on me" he said kindly. "You have always been very kind to me, even the few times we met when I was still drinking – I was humiliating and Patrick was embarrassed but you, you never judged me once and were just kind…"

She gave a small shrug. "We are not defined by our worst moments Noah…"

Smiling, he reached for her hand again. "Exactly. At some point Nathalie, you are going to need to let some of that pain go and I know first hand how hard that can be. I know why you won't do so with Patrick or even Nikolas but you…" he swallowed thickly. "you can do it here. If you need to be weak, then be weak here – I won't judge you."

Nathalie was overcome by his generosity and bit hard on the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. "Thanks" she whispered.

"There is one more thing we need to talk about"

She exhaled. "I can only imagine – did I take off all my clothes, get a tattoo or something?" she asked, grimacing.

"Did you know that you're pregnant?"


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Nathalie looked in to Noah's soft brown eyes, unsure that she had heard him correctly. "Pardon?"

"You're pregnant" he repeated. "I ran a full panel of tests last night and you came back positive for pregnancy."

"Oh" Nathalie wasn't sure why she was so stunned. She and Nikolas had been having sex without any protection for nearly a month with a view to getting pregnant but now that it had happened she was shocked. Noah watched her carefully, unsure if she was pleased about the news or not. He knew that she loved Nikolas very much and that he loved her but sometimes love wasn't enough when it came to babies - timing was also important. Having a baby too soon in a relationship could throw it completely off track. Her hand went protectively to her stomach. "I'm pregnant?"

He nodded gently. "Should I offer congratulations?"

Blinking several times, she tried to take it all in but the pounding in her head threatened to drown out all coherent thought. "Yeah...yes - I mean, we talked about it, I just didn't think it would happen so ...." She snapped her head up. "What about the GHB?" Her voice was panicked - newly pregnant and she was already screwing it up.

He reached for her hand again. "There is no way to know for sure if there's any damage but it's not unlike taking prescription meds or drinking before you know you're pregnant."  
Blowing out her cheeks, she closed her eyes and fell back against the pillow. "I think my head might explode."

"How can I help?" he asked kindly.

"Is there a remote control with a pause button?" she smiled weakly, opening her eyes. "I feel like I'm running on a treadmill and just when I get running at a good rhythm someone speeds it up and I'm left trying to play catch up."

"Then jump off the treadmill. Stay here today and rest."

"Oh, I can't do that" she said, trying to get up from the bed. The pain in her head was overwhelming and she fell back against the pillows. "I have to see Gracie..."

"No you don't - not right now at least. You spent the entire day with her yesterday - she'll be fine without you for a while." Nathalie opened her mouth to protest but Noah raised his hand. "Doctor's orders." The low ring of his cell phone interrupted any further conversation. Pulling it from his belt he looked at the number and pain flashed in his eyes. He took a deep breath before flipping it open. "Drake." There was a long silence and leaning back against the chair he clenched his eyes shut. "Brenda" he said softly. "Please talk to me." He sat and waited but the only sound on the other end of the line was a stiffled sob. "I love you" he whispered and hung up the phone. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes breathing slowly.

"How often does that happen?"

"About once a week" He continued to stare at the ceiling hoping his heart would stop beating so quickly. "She calls and then says nothing."

"She's trying to make her way back to you" Nathalie offered quietly.

Looking at her, Noah shrugged. "Maybe but I'm not sure it really matters" he dismissed.

"Of course it matters Noah - if she didn't love you she wouldn't be torturing herself like this. How does it make you feel?"

He shook his head and stood up. "Nuh-uh. You do not get to put the spotlight on me because you didn't like having it on you" he said smiling, the warmth returning to his eyes.

"It can't only be about me"

"Fine, I'll make you a deal - close your eyes, go back to sleep for a few hours and when you wake up I'll make us some lunch and I will trade you information about how I'm feeling for information about how you're feeling - deal?"

"You drive a hard bargain" she groused good naturedly.

"Deal?" he asked again.

"Fine" she sighed. "Deal."

"Good" Noah kissed her forehead. "Sleep well." Exiting the room, he pulled the door closed behind him.

********  
Patrick lay on his side with his head propped up on his hand watching Robin sleep. Everything about Robin was elegant, even the way her chest rose and fell while she slept. The curve of her lips slightly parted and the way her eyes fluttered as she dreamt stole his breath. For so long he had fought against love, unwilling to even consider it a possibility as he was sure it brought nothing but heartache. It brought almost total destruction to his father and he wanted too much from life to take that risk. It wasn't until he met Robin that he realized how love could expand his life not narrow it.

"Are you watching me sleep again?" she murmured sleepily.

"No I'm watching you snore" he teased.

Prying open one eye Robin glared at him. "Hello pot, nice to meet you, I'm kettle."

Laughing, he swooped in and brushed his lips against hers. "Good morning."

Gracefully stretching Robin gave a soft moan. "Is it morning?" she asked.

"It is - I suppose though since we're in Italy I should say 'bonjourno principessa?'"

Giggling, Robin turned to her side facing her husband. "That works too."

He trailed his hand down her side, letting it come to rest on the curve of her waist. "So..."  
"So" she repeated smiling.

"Do you hear that?" he asked.

Furrowing her brow she looked around the room. "Hear what?"

"No phone calls, no pagers, no crying baby, no friends needing an intervention - just...ahhh...silence."

Grinning she pressed her lips against his. "Hmmm- I like the way you think." Feeling his hips pressing against hers, Robin gasped. "Are you ever not ready to play?"

He ran his hand through her silky hair. "If it involves playing with you, I am always ready."

"Let me take my meds and we can explore just how ready you are" she kissed him quickly again before throwing back the covers and sliding from the bed. She grabbed the robe hanging on the back of the chair and wrapped it around her.

"Awww" Patrick whined.

"What?" she asked, looking up from her purse where she pulled out her med bag.

"You covered up."

"I'm cold"

"So are you saying if I'm with you, you won't be cold?"

Smiling seductively she stood up and dropped her robe. "Shall we test your theory?"

Biting his lip, he bounded from the bed and coming up behind her wrapped his arms around her. "Warmer?" he purred against her skin, his erection nestled against her.

"Getting there" she whispered. Walking together, they made their way to the bathroom. Reaching for one of the glasses, Robin filled it with water while Patrick, still pressed against her, pulled her meds from her back. He nuzzled her neck, sucking softly on her skin. "Mmm" she moaned reveling in the skin on skin feeling. Trailing his hands along her torso her muscles twitched in response and he smiled against her skin as he kissed her shoulders.

"Have I mentioned I love your body?"

"Once or twice" Robin smiled between pills. She shivered as he worked his hands up her soft skin tracing them over her round breasts. Her breathing shortened as she pressed back against him while his tongue made small circles just underneath her ear. Robin bucked as he tugged gently on her sensitive nipples. She was so lost in his touch that she forgot what she was doing and the glass in her hand slipped and crashed in to the marble sink. They both jumped back as it shattered. "Fuck" Robin swore banging her hand on the counter.

"I'm sorry baby. Did you drop any pills?"

"No" she said, pulling away from him. Unthinkingly, Robin began to pick up the pieces of glass from the sink. "Shit" she said as she felt a shard pierce her skin.

"What is it?" he asked reaching for her hand.

Robin moved out of his reach. "Don't touch me Patrick" she said as panic framed her voice.

"It's okay Robi-"

"Get out! Just get out of the bathroom!" She continued to move away from him.

"Rob-" he started taking a step towards her.

"I SAID GET OUT!" she yelled. Blinking in shock, Patrick backed out the bathroom and flinched as she kicked the door shut. Stunned, he reached for his robe and pulled it on before sinking on to the end of the bed.

Alone in the bathroom Robin let out several unsteady breaths while leaning against the counter. Turning on the tap, she ran her hand under the cold water and watched as her blood, the symbol of her disease, washed down the sink. Inspecting the small wound she reached for her bag and pulled out anti-bacterial ointment along with a bandaid. She had completely overreacted with Patrick but the minute she had seen the blood she had been gripped by panic. She sighed and sheepishly opened the door. Patrick was sitting on the bed fidgeting with the ties of his robe. He looked at her as the door opened. "I'm sorry" she said quietly.  
Stretching out his arm, he motioned for her to come to him. Robin closed the distance between them and sat on his lap. Closing his arm around her, he pressed his lips against her cheek. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "I didn't mean to yell." Exhaling slowly she linked her fingers through his. "You know what's amazing about you?"

"I'm devastatingly handsome?" he offered.

"I meant besides that" she smiled shyly. "You make me forget I have HIV." Patrick tilted his head and looked at her. "I know it sounds kind of stupid because I have my protocol every day and we still have to take precautions when we make love but whereas it used to dominate my thoughts, I almost never think of it now. I have a husband and a child - two things I never thought I would ever have - and I feel so normal. That's quite a gift you've given me" she said quietly as her soft brown eyes filled with tears.

"But cutting yourself..."

"It was like a slap in the face" she finished his sentence. "You were standing so close to me and all I could think of was...." Robin's cheeks become splotched in red and her eyes overflowed with tears.

Reaching up with his hand he brushed the tears away. "All you could think of was Lulu."

Nodding, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I have already infected another person - I have brought all of this in to the life of a person who is very important to me - I don't know what I would do if I ever infected you. It would be more than I could handle."

"We've not really talked about Lulu" he said as she stroked her hair.

"I don't know what to say. I try to rationalize it but that doesn't really work because it's not a rational thing. If I spend too much time thinking about it I feel like my heart might just shatter."

"Oh baby" he murmured against her hair. "I'm sorry."

Swallowing thickly Robin moved in closer to him. "It's not fair - I got my life and I got my son and what did she get? A disease that steals innocence and years...Patrick" She buried her head in to his shoulder and cried quietly as he held her. He knew that she was right, there was little to say about Lulu - he had spent months trying to make sense of it, how an act of heroism on her part could be repayed by being infected with HIV, but he had been unable to do so. He knew in minute detail the workings of the human brain but was clueless when it came to the workings of the universe. Having let go of the tension in her body, Robin raised her head and wiped her hands over her face. "So much for our romantic morning."

He kissed her softly on the lips. "Being with you is all I need Robin - whether it's talking, making love or just holding your hand" he said, sliding his in to hers, "everything I could ever want is right here."

*******  
Nathalie opened the door from Noah's bedroom and was surprised at how quiet the apartment was. Walking in to the living room she stopped as she saw him stretched out on the couch, his long legs threatening to spill over the end. He was wearing a well broken in pair of jeans and a fitted white t-shirt, his glasses were in his hand perched on his chest. Rian was playing with his toys in the playpen next to the couch. She smiled and blew a kiss to the young baby. Tiptoeing to the dining table where her purse was, she pulled out a piece of paper and pen and scribbled him a note of thanks. Pulling her coat from the back of the chair she shuddered imagining the state she must have been in when Noah brought her back her from the hospital. Slipping on her shoes, she reached for the door, turning the lock.

"Running out?"

Grimacing, she turned around. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, I was dozing" he said sitting up. Putting his glasses on, he turned immediately to look at his grandson. Reassured that he was fine, he turned his attention back to Nathalie. "You were really trying to sneak out weren't you?"

"I, uh, left you a note?" she offered.

"Nice" he smiled. Standing up from the couch, he walked towards the kitchen. "Take your coat off, I promised you lunch."

"Noah, really, I'm fine - I've imposed on you long enough."

Sticking his head out from the kitchen he looked at her seriously. "Don't think I'm just being kind -you were incredibly sick last night and there is no way the GHB has completely left your system. Given that Patrick and Nikolas are both away right now I'd like to keep an eye on you for just a while longer."

She thought of just leaving anyways but realized the prospect of an empty Wyndermere was unappealing. "Okay" she said as she shrugged off her coat. Walking in to the kitchen, she leaned against the counter. "What can I do to help?"

"Drink this" he said passing her a glass of orange juice.

"You're pretty bossy you know" she teased .

"Coming from you that's rich" he smiled. "I've seen you in action Atilla. How are you feeling?"

"Physically or emotionally?"

"Both" He pulled out a chair for her at the kitchen table and sat across from her.

"I feel like I've been hit by a truck on both counts."

"The baby?" he prodded gently.

"I...uh...I" she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I thought I would be happier" she said quietly.

"I'm sure you will in time."

"I know it's the beginning of something but it feels like the end of so many things."

"Like?"

She shook her head. "It's stupid."

"Try me" he offered. "Nat, you forget, I'm a drunk - stupid is all relative to me."

"You are not a drunk Noah - even when you were drinking you were not a drunk. You are an alcoholic but not a drunk - you were tortured by memories and in pain."

Settling back in to his chair he smirked. "Do you know why you recognize that so well in me?" She shook her head. "Because you see yourself in it."

"What? No...."

He held up his hand. "Nathalie - you and I always seem to find each other in the hard moments because we have lived a lot of the same experiences - now tell me why the pregancy feels like the end of so many things"

"Because it means that my life with Drew is really over." Nathalie covered her mouth in surprise as the words left her mouth. "It's not like I'm expecting him to come back but...."

"But it means you're moving on and as great as that can be letting go is terrifying." She nodded. "Are you still angry with him?"

She gave him a wry smile. "Oh Noah, I wish it was just him I was angry with him - I'm angry with almost everyone and everything - my parents, their lawyer, the judge, god, cancer, I'm even angry with Nik at times - how insane is that?"

"Why are you angry with him?"

Her eyes filled with tears as she was finally saying out loud so many of the things she had held deeply inside. "Because he loves me" she whispered.

Noah closed his eyes briefly, knowing the answer before he asked the question. "Why?"

"I don't think I deserve him" She wiped at her face. "Of course the irony there is that I asked him to marry me."

Noah looked at her in shock. "You did?" She nodded, slightly embarrassed. "Good for you" he encouraged.

"We'll see" she said flatly.

"He loves you..."

"So did Drew and it wasn't enough - it wasn't nearly enough." Nathalie blew out her cheeks. "I'm done for now - it's your turn."

"Just like that?" Noah laughed lightly.  
"Just like that- let's talk about Brenda."

"I have loved two women in my life - my wife and now Brenda and I have lost them both."

"Brenda isn't lost Noah" Nathalie said quietly. "You know where she is and she wants to come back to you."

"I can't do it." He swirled the remnants of the juice around in his glass. He thought with time it would be easier but he was still unable to go more than a few hours without thinking about her. He missed having her body next to him in bed and he missed the taste of her skin but most of all he missed how alive he felt when she was around him.

"Why not?"

"I'm not very strong Nathalie - I'm really not. If I went there and she rejected me I would climb so far inside a bottle that no one would be able to get me out."

She nodded knowingly. "Maybe she'll come back to you."

"I still hope that but realistically I don't see that happening."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course"

"Do you still miss Mattie?" Noah sucked in a breath and nodded quickly. "Has it ever stopped hurting?"

"No" he whispered. "Not for one minute of one day but the pain is familiar now. She and Patrick were my life. I loved my career but if she had ever asked me to walk away from it I would have - I would have done anything, given anything for her."

"A great love"

"The greatest" he said dabbing at his eyes. "because together we made Patrick."

********

With a slightly trembling hand Bruce flipped open his phone.

"You fool" came the familiar clipped voice. "How could you make such a mistake?"

"She won't remember me" he said defensively.

"No but that petty criminal of a barman will - you will give that bar a wide berth from now on."

"So now what madame?"

"Well since you've screwed up so badly and it looks like we won't be able to end my grandson's inappropriate relationship by showing him evidence of her cheating we are going to accelerate the other plan."

"But the safe house still needs more work" he protested.

"Then I guess you better get busy - I want her gone in the next month and your future with Robin Scorpio is tied to accomplishing that task so I suggest you get moving."


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Robin walked along the cobbled street to Brenda's piazza. Given the number of times she had made the trek, the route was almost as familiar as the one to her old apartment in Paris. After her mini-meltdown in the bathroom, she and Patrick had ordered room service and stayed in bed, snuggled up together. They had talked and dozed and just held on to each other in a way they had never done. Robin told him more stories about Paris - her discovery of a tiny bakery around the corner from her apartment where she became almost like a daughter to the owners - they had made her a cake when she announced she was returning to the States. He smiled and kissed her head as she shared with him the story of the day she realized her protocol worked and how it confirmed her career choice for her. He fed her strawberries dipped in champagne as he told her bold tales of his residency and the first time he was allowed to fly solo in the OR.

He walked her to the Metro and wished her luck with Brenda. He planned to explore Rome on foot and wait for her back at the hotel. Robin had stopped at the market and picked up three bottles of wine, along with bread, cheese and olives - they were going to need drinks and lots of them to get through this. She bounded up the stairs to her door and rang the bell. Brenda's longtime housekeeper, Gabriella, opened the door.

"Bonjourno Robin" she greeted her warmly.

"Bonjourno Gabriella. She's not home yet is she?" she asked coming through the door.

"No - soon" she said in her limited English.

"Okay - grazie - I'm going to set up."

"Si Senora"

Robin set her shopping down in Brenda's living room. She opened the first bottle of wine, a Chianti, and set out the food. She poured herself a large glass and ensconced herself on the couch to wait. She had called Gabriella from the hotel to find out what time Brenda was expected home so that she could time her arrival. Gabriella had been happy to hear from Robin as her employer had not been herself since her return from the States. Robin did not have long to wait as she heard the large front door creak open.

"Gabriella!" Brenda called coming through the door. "Gabriella - I need the largest glass of wine - do we have any Masi...." the words died on her lips as she walked in to the living room and saw Robin leaning back against the fluffy pillows of her couch, her legs tucked up underneath her.

"I've just opened a nice bold Chianti" Robin said smiling. "Why don't you pour yourself a glass?"

"Ro-ro-robin" Brenda stammered. "What - when - what are you doing here?"

She shrugged smiling. "Mountain, Mohammad and all that." She patted the couch beside her. "Come and sit"

Brenda sucked in a breath and on shaky legs walked to the table and poured herself a glass before joining Robin on the couch. "Hi" she said sheepishly.

"Hi yourself."

"How are you? Rian? Patrick?"

"We're fine - worried about you but fine."

"I'm okay" she said with forced brightness. "Work has been so busy lately - I'm sorry I haven't called but it's just been nuts and trying to figure out the time difference, I mean I don't want to wake Rian - oh my god, Rian - did you bring photos, I would SO love to see what he looks like...."

Robin put her hand over her friend's. "I need you to breathe and then take a big gulp of your wine" she said kindly.

Brenda bit her lip and took a steadying breath. Bringing her glass to her lips she drained it. "I suppose you want to talk about Noah?"

She shook her head. "I want to talk about you..."

"I'm fine" she protested.

Robin arched her eyebrow. "Who do you think you're talking to? I *know* you" she said touching her heart.

Brend scampered from the couch and brought the bottle back with her filling both their glasses. She swirled the rich, red liquid around in her glass watching as the light turned it ruby. "I freaked" she said softly. "I freaked and ran but" she looked up at her friend "we both knew that was just a matter of time, right?"

"What happened?"

Her eyes filled with tears. She remembered pulling the lid from the small box and seeing the key to Noah's apartment nestled against a velvet lining.

_"Move in with me Brenda - come and live with me" he asked earnestly._

"Noah - I..." too dumbstruck to speak, she stared at the key.

"We work Brenda and I love you. You are here almost all the time and I want you here permanently. So what do you say? Ready to make a home with me?"   
Every fibre of her being screamed at her to say yes - say yes and stop running - say yes and be loved - say yes and love someone kind with your whole heart - say yes and be complete. Every fibre of her being screamed at her to say yes except for one. The small voice in the back of her head reminded her of her track record, of past infidelities and of her inability to give of herself completely. She had opened her mouth to tell him yes, that she loved him too but the words got stuck in her throat and she did what she had done her whole life - she ran. She literally ran from his apartment, wrapping her coat around her expensive and revealing lingerie. Running all the way to the hotel, she hastily threw everything in to her suitcases and hired a driver to take her to New York. She changed into traveling clothes, checked out and turned off her cell phone before leaving Port Charles. Her stomach churned and her chest hurt - neither symptom disappeared when her plane touched down in Rome but at least she was far enough away that she couldn't go back to him in a moment of weakness. She had thrown herself in to her work hoping she could ignore the hole in her heart but it didn't matter how many hours she worked, how many parties she went to, nothing changed how she felt. At the parties she tried to flirt and seduce but they were empty gestures. She loved Noah and no one could come close.

"He asked me to move in with him" she whispered as she looked back at her glass.

Robin moved closer to her friend and put her arm around her. "Did you want to Bren?" She nodded tearfully. "Oh Bren" Robin sighed as she kissed the side of her head. "You must have been so scared to run like that."

Brenda shrugged. Fear had been so much a part of her life. In the end that was much of what made her run from Noah. Staying with him, loving him, being loved by him would mean that she could give up all her fears and worries about not being good enough. She had been afraid for so long she didn't know who she was without it.

"He called me" she said flatly.

"How did that go?"

"Not well" she snorted. "The moment I heard his voice I turned to jelly - I started to shake and cry and I couldn't form words - you would have been so proud."

Putting down her wine glass, Robin gathered her friend in her arms. "Why didn't you call me?" she asked as Brenda melted against her. "You have been by my side so many times, helping me through - did you think I wouldn't do the same for you?"

"I just couldn't"

Brenda's voice softened as Robin's warmth washed over her. Opening her mouth to speak, she shut it again - there was no way she was ready to tell Robin about the torturous game she played, calling Noah's cell phone just to hear his voice. The first time she did it, she got his voice mail and listened to the richness of his voice inviting the caller to leave a message. She nearly did - the words were on the tip of her tongue but she hung up before she said anything she couldn't take back or follow through on. The next time she called she froze as he answered. He had known it was her the minute he answered and as a result fell in to a pattern - she would call and say nothing, he would tell her that he loved her and then wait - they were both waiting for her to find her voice, she just hadn't done so yet.

"Brenda" Robin said softly as she felt her sweater dampen underneath her tears. Her maternal instincts kicked in and she held her, stroking her hair. "It's going to be okay" she soothed. "You have me - you will always have me"

Lifting her head, she wiped furiously at her tears. "He must hate me."

Robin shook her head. "Not hate - he misses you Brenda - he misses YOU."

Sitting up straight she reached for her wine glass. "Your husband must be furious with me."

Leaning back Robin studied her face. "Would it be easier for you if people were angry with you?"

"What?"

"No one, not Patrick, not me and certainly Noah, no one is angry with you but you keep expecting us to be - why?"

"I hurt him" she said simply.

"Yeah you did - you handled it in a cowardly fashion" Brenda flinched at Robin's truthful words. "But Bren - the person you hurt the most was yourself."

Sighing deeply she took another drink. "Not much has changed for me."

"Then make it stop" she said emphatically. "You don't have to hurt like this Brenda. You can come home with me - come home to Noah and rebuild."

She shook her head. "I can't"

"No, you won't and there's a huge difference." She took both of Brenda's hands in hers. "When I wasn't sure about Patrick, when I didn't think I could take the risk because I was too afraid you told me that a life lived in fear is a life half-lived and I had an obligation to life fully. You have that same obligation Bren - it's time to meet your life head on."

"I hate it when you throw my words back at me" she said teasingly through her tears.

Robin smiled back at her. "Well when you're right, you're right."

"How long are you staying in Rome for?"

"A week or as long it takes to convince you to come home - home Brenda."

"Does Noah know you're here?"

"He thinks Patrick and I are at a conference in Vienna."

"Patrick's here?" she asked, whipping her head around.

"He's at the hotel - and it's fine."

"I really love him Robin - it's different from Sonny and Jax - it's a rush but a quiet one - there's no danger, no waiting for the shoe to drop - just this quiet rush."

"That's like me and Patrick..."

"Newsflash Robs - there is nothing quiet about you and Patrick" she teased.

Blushing to her roots, Robin swatted at her friend. "You're a beast." Brenda giggled in response. "We could call him you know."

She paled visibly. "I..I ...I wouldn't know what to say."

"You could start with hello and go from there."

Shaking her head, she looked at her friend fearfully. "I...Robin...I..."

"I'll be right here with you." Holding Brenda's hand she pulled her cell phone from her purse with her free hand and hit the preprogrammed button. Brenda's hand started to shake inside of Robin's.

"Drake" came the familiar voice.

"Hey ya Gramps - how are things?"

"Robin" She could hear his smile through the phone. "Everything's fine - Rian and I are having a great time together - we're going to build a fort outside tomorrow."

"Sounds great."

"How was your flight - you and Patrick are okay?"

"We are - we're good. Listen Noah, I have someone who would like to talk to you." She held out the phone to Brenda who had begun to tremble. Robin pressed the phone in to her hand.

Swallowing thickly, Brenda closed her eyes. "H-hi Noah" her voice was barely above a whisper.

Nearly dropping the phone in shock, Noah sank to the couch as his legs shook. "Hi Brenda" he said softly. "Ho-how are you?"

She nodded until she realized he couldn't see her reaction. "I'm okay"

"That's good" Noah looked at Rian sleeping in his playpen, sure that the hammering of his heart was so loud it would wake it up.

"I'm sorry" she said for the millionth time.

"I know Brenda - I know baby."

She closed her eyes at the term of endearment. "I miss you" she said unthinkingly. Robin smiled, knowing what an enormous admission that was for her friend.

Noah's eyes filled with tears. "I miss you too" he replied quietly.

Suddenly exhausted, Brenda sank against the couch. "I have to go now"

"Okay." The understanding that meant so much to her was still in evidence. "I love you Brenda" Tears streamed down her face as she handed the phone back to Robin.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Noah snapped his phone shut and leaning back against the couch, stared up at the ceiling. Tears had threatened to fall on a regular basis in the days following Brenda's departure but he wouldn't give in to them but after hearing her voice, hearing that she missed him, he was out of resistence. He let out a long, slow unsteady breath as the tears tumbled forth. Nathalie held his hand, stroking it comfortingly.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"She misses me" He was as surprised as Brenda when she blurted it out.

Nathalie smiled. "Of course she does - she may not be able to say it to you Noah but she loves you - very much."

Wiping at his wet cheeks with his free hand, he lifted his head and looked at her. "We were talking about you before that phone call came - you were telling me about Drew..."

She shook her head. "That discussion is being tabled in light of new evidence, your honour."

He let out a small laugh. "Is there anything more pathetic than two people who hate taking about themselves trying to get each other to talk."

"Not really, no."

"She really misses me" he repeated. Everyone - Patrick, Robin, Nathalie - had all tried to convince him that Brenda cared for him but he couldn't allow himself to believe it - he couldn't afford to have false hope - the consequences to being wrong about it were too severe for him.

Squeezing his hand, Nathalie wiped at the tears that had started again. "It's a first step Noah - I'm glad Robin got her to call."

"Did you know they were going to Rome?" he asked narrowing his eyes.

She smiled sheepishly. "I did."

"There's no conference, is there?"

"Remember Operation Bring Patrick Home?" He nodded. "This is Operation Get BrenNoah back together."

"BrenNoah?" he chuckled.

"That was Lulu's contribution."

"I should be angry you know."

She shook her head. "All Robin is doing is giving Brenda a nudge in the direction she wants to be heading in. It's okay to let people help you."

Noah arched his eyebrow and looked at her pointedly. "Really? You understand that you are a study in contradictions, right?"

"Do as I say, not as I do" she said, smiling. "Listen, I really should go -it's late and I'm going to check on Gracie."

Moving to stand up, Noah pulled her back to the couch. "Okay but a few things before you go..."

"Oh lord" she sighed good naturedly. "I'd say you sound like my father but wow, that would be an insult of monumental proportions."

Noah's face remained serious. "If there is any change to your health - vomiting, headache - whatever, I don't care - do not tough it out, call me immediately." Nathalie nodded. "And you need to tell Nikolas what happened when he comes home."

"He doesn't need to know" she protested. "He will only worry and it's over."

"Nathalie" he said kindly "someone tried to assault you and you need to tell him - he'll be so hurt if he ever finds out from someone else."

"Are you going to tell him?" she asked in a panic.

"I can't - I'm your doctor and am bound by confidentiality but more importantly - I'm your friend and I want you to know you can trust me."

Her chest tightened slightly at his kindness. She had met Noah several times over the years but much like Nikolas was an unexpected gift so too was her friendship with Noah. "I do trust you" she said softly.

He nodded. "I hesitate to bring this up but you do know that your medical records can be subponeaed, right?"

Nathalie closed her eyes. "You know" she said opening her eyes again, "I've always been a private person and the idea that so much of my life is part of the public record makes my skin crawl."

He rubbed her shoulder. "Don't worry about it - concentrate on taking care of yourself, Gracie and your baby - let your friends man the barricades for you."

"You are such a good man" she said pulling him in to a tight embrace. "I'm glad you got your phone call."

"Me too."

Nathalie let go of him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "It seems inadequate to say but thank you for taking such good care of me - I'm lucky to have you."

"It goes both ways Nat - you've been very good to me too."

"Okay -I've got to run" she said, jumping up from the couch. "It's okay to hope Noah - it's okay to hope for Brenda." She slipped on her coat and gave him a small wave before sliding out the door.

Nathalie's words echoed in his head long after she had left. "It's okay to hope for Brenda."

He did hope for her - he wanted to hold her hand again, feel her silk hair brush against his skin. If she ever came back, he would lock them in his apartment and just love her for days. Much like his son, he had been a playboy in his younger days never getting too caught up with one woman, always ready to move on to the next. But then he had met Mattie and she changed everything - through her he had found that he actually had a great capacity for love and he liked sharing that part of himself. Apart from the loss of her love with her death, he also grieved the loss of having someone to love. The guilt at having been unable to save his wife drove him to the bottle - the fear of being alone with no one to love kept him there. With Brenda he had found another person to love - a person who needed his love.

Stretching out on the couch, he closed his eyes thinking back to the last time they had been together before she ran. He had come off a 48 hour shift with two difficult surgeries back to back that had sapped him of his strength and had literally collapsed in his bed. Brenda was already in his bed, sound asleep or so he had thought. _"Rough night?" she had asked._

"Yeah" Sitting up, she had moved to him and pulled his t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. "Brenda, I'm too tired"

"Shh" she said, rolling him on to his stomach. Straddling his hips, she rubbed his shoulders working to undo the muscles knotted there. He let out a soft moan as he felt her hands on him. She ran her thumbs along the thick muscles of his lower back, warming his skin and forcing the tension from his body. She said nothing as she continued to massage the broad expanse of his back; occasionally she would let her fingers trace over his skin, touching him lightly and Noah would moan in response. Leaning over him she placed a soft kiss at the base of his neck. Despite his exhaustion his body began to respond to her touch. He could feel her dampness through the thin material of his boxer-briefs. He rolled on to his back, keeping her on top of him.

"Hi" he said softly, his eyes filling with desire.

"Hi" she smiled back. "I thought you were tired" she said feeling his arousal grow underneath her.

He trailed his fingers up her leg, running them over her engorged folds. "Did I do this to you?" he asked huskily.

Brenda bit her lip. "I'm sorry - I really was just trying to make you relax"

Lightly tracing his finger over her clit he smiled as he watched her nipples darken and harden and her body shiver. "Don't apologize. Not for this." He shifted underneath her, his erection begging to be released from its confines. She arched her body, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back as he moved his fingers all along the outline of her centre. He watched as her stomach tightened in response to his touch and smiled as she opened her eyes to reveal dark pools of lust. Falling forward, she crashed her mouth over his as he rose up to meet her. He threaded his hands through her hair, bringing her closer to him. His tongue swept in to her mouth, tangling with hers and both moaning at the sensation. She pressed her breasts against his bare chest, her hardened nipples rubbing against him. "Oh Brenda" he moaned into her mouth. Her hips ground against him, eliciting a hiss.

"You're wearing too many clothes" she panted.

"I guess we should do something about that" he replied, equally breathless.

Moving off of his hips, Brenda began to move his underwear down while covering his torso in slow, wet kisses. She traced the outline of his chest with her tongue, grazing his nipples with her teeth. His entire body was on fire from her touch, his heart hammering in response to her kisses. Finally getting the boxer-briefs off, Noah groaned as she wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked it slowly. Closing his eyes, he arched his hips forward pushing more of himself in to her hands. Dropping a kiss on the sensitive head, she smiled as Noah breathed in sharply when she closed her lips around him. She worked her tongue around his length as his hips bucked involuntarily. Desperate to taste her, he slowly pulled her away from him and laid her on her back. He assaulted her neck with kisses while grinding his erection against her legs. Her skin tasted of vanilla and cinnamon and the heady combination sent his senses reeling. He kneaded one breast while lavishing the other one with his tongue. He sucked her nipple into his mouth and Brenda lifted from the bed as he did so. He knew that she had had many lovers but he also knew that it was unlikely that any of them loved her as he did. Her legs parted as he dragged his tongue over her hip. Brenda moaned and fisted his hair as he kissed her between her legs, working his tongue around her clit before diving it inside her.

"Fuck Noah" she cried, her head thrashing from side to side as he continued to taste her. Taking her sensitive nub in his mouth he easily slid two fingers inside her and pumped them slowly, feeling her walls constrict around them.

He lifted his head briefly and gazed lovingly at her. "You are so beautiful" he said throatily.

Brenda bit her lip to keep from crying out again. She slung her legs over his shoulders as she rode his hand. His teeth grazed her most sensitive spot and her body trembled in response. He kissed his way back up her body as she ached with a need to be filled by him. He pressed his lips hard against hers and as they parted, her tongue darted out to meet his. She sucked greedily on his lips and pouted as he pulled away, kneeling up. He lifted her leg, letting it rest against his shoulder as buried his now throbbing cock deep inside her. "God Noah" she hissed. Having agreed to a committed relationship and being tested, they had dispensed with condoms.

He stroked her leg as he began to thrust in and out of her. They locked eyes sharing a look that was equal parts hunger and love. Noah brought his thumb to her clit and worked it in tiny circles forcing Brenda to quake and shiver as her first orgasm washed over her. Unrelentingly, he continued his ministrations as a second orgasm took hold and she cried out his name while gripping the sheets. Unable to hold back any longer, Noah gave in to his release and came hard inside her. He collapsed on top of her, spent and breathless. She pushed his hair from his face kissing his forehead softly, her hands lightly traced over his back.

"I love you" he whispered against her skin when he could finally speak.

"I know" had been her response. He knew she wanted to say it back to him, he could practically feel the words on her lips but she couldn't bring herself to take that leap. 

He opened his eyes and saw that he was clutching a pillow. He needed her to come home and for the first time since she left he was ready to believe it was a possibilty.

*******

"You know I could have had Nikolas' driver take us" Lulu offered as she walked along the sidewalk holding Ethan's hand. "It's not like he has much to do."

"I'm not a big fan of cars" he said simply. "Besides it's not that far to the MetroCourt."

"Why don't you like cars?" she asked curiously. "Is it an enviornmental thing?"

"Something like that" he said, not meeting her eyes. "Have I told you how great you look today?" he said in an attempt to change the subject.

"Flattery will get you everywhere with me." She stopped walking and pulled him back to her so she could kiss him. They had been virtually inseperable since they slept together. Ethan had spent the night at Wyndermere and with the large mansion to themselves, they had taken to exploring as many rooms as they could. Lulu wasn't sure she would ever be able to be in the library again without blushing.

"You seem nervous" he said breaking their kiss.

"I'm meeting your father - of course I'm nervous." She pulled on the fingers of her gloves. "What...what does he know about me?"

He stroked her cheek with his gloved hand. "He knows I'm dating an amazing, incredibly cool girl I met at university."

She looked at him suspiciously. "He doesn't know..."

Ethan shook his head. "No - in time Lulu - whenever you're ready."

She smiled gratefully. "I know I don't have a lot of experience but I'm fairly certain you might just be the best boyfriend in the world."

"Might?" he joked. "What is this 'might' shit? I let you win at Grand Theft Auto last night - I know that makes me the best boyfriend."

"Let me??" she repeated incredulously. "It's sad that your poor ego won't admit the truth - that I beat you...again..."

"Whatever" he dismissed waving his hand in the air.

Lulu took her toque off as they stepped in the hotel lobby. She ran her fingers through her hair shaking it out "I should have got my hair cut - or put it in a ponytail or something - it's all messy."

Ethan smiled amusedly at her. "I keep telling you you're beautiful"

"Do you think he'll like me?" she asked as they stepped into the elevator.

He pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. "He's going to love you" he paused briefly "like I do"

Lulu sucked in a breath and stared up at him. "Yup - best boyfriend ever."

He brought his mouth down on hers, running his tongue along her lips. They pulled apart as the doors opened. Nervous at the meeting the person who was most important in the world to Ethan she slipped her hand in to his and took a deep breath. He rang the doorbell of the suite and smiled as a short, older woman opened the door.

"Hi Danielle"

"Ethan -it's good to see you."

"Thanks - this is my girlfriend, Lesley Lu - Lesley Lu this is my dad's secretary, right hand, chief organizer and the brains behind the operation - Danielle"

"Hi" she said shyly.

"Nice to meet you - come in, Douglas is just wrapping up a call."

They walked in to the suite that was a hive of activity. The fax machine spit out pages at a time and Ethan's father was pacing the floor, cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder while he scribbled on a note pad. Seeing them walk in, he smiled broadly and waved at them. Lulu let go of Ethan's hand only long enough to take her coat off. Douglas motioned for them to sit down and Danielle brought over a pot of hot chocolate. Ethan grinned at her. "Not so scary, right?"

"Says you" she said pressing her hands around the mug. "Remind me of this when you meet my father."

"The legendary Luke Spencer - I can't wait..." he teased.

"You may live to regret those words."

"Okay - we'll we're only through the first month of the three month temporary order" Douglas said on the phone as he continued to pace. "I can't see the judge granting an appeal yet - that woman's life is still all over the map - I heard she was picking up a man in a bar last night." He continued to write as the person on the other end of the phone spoke. "I'm not worried about that - the leukemia thing may win her some points, it may not."

Lulu stiffened as she realized that he was talking about Grace and Nathalie, though she was confused about the bar comment.

"Listen, listen - we have the trump card - there's a girl in the house with HIV - we'll just use that against them and it's a slam dunk."

Ethan snapped his head up, looking at his father. He turned to Lulu who had paled and her bottom lip trembled. "Lu.."  
"Don't" she asked holding up her hand.

"He doesn't know it's you..."

"Doesn't matter, does it" she whispered. "I'm a weapon to be used against my friends." She stood up and prayed her knees would stop shaking long enough that she could make it to the door.

"Don't go" he pleaded, just as Douglas ended his phone call.

"I'm sorry about that kids - work is a bit of a beast at the moment." He walked to Lulu and extended his hand. "Douglas Young, Ethan's father."

Lulu shook his hand, her green eyes blazing. "Lulu Spencer, Ethan's girlfriend and the girl in the house with HIV."


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

Lulu shook his hand, her green eyes blazing. "Lulu Spencer, Ethan's girlfriend and the girl in the house with HIV."

Douglas froze in place as a small panic rose in his chest. "Pardon?"

She dropped his hand. "I assume you were talking about the Nathalie Walker case - I'm your trump card."

Ethan stood up from the couch as a knot formed in his stomach. This was not how he envisioned the evening going and he could tell by the steely glint in Lulu's eyes that this wasn't going to end well – likely for him. "Dad...this is Lulu..."

"Yes Ethan, that much I got" he said not taking his eyes from the young woman standing defiantly before him. "What is she doing here?"

Ethan shifted nervously from one foot to the other wondering if there was a button he could press to make it all stop. Lulu was the first girl he had dated since his mother was murdered and she was important to him but his father had stayed by his side as he recovered from both his physical and psychological wounds. He stood, almost literally in between the two people he loved most in the world and he was going to have to choose. "She's my girlfriend - the girl I told you about..."

"WHAT?" he bellowed. "You are SLEEPING with a girl who is HIV+?"

Lulu stepped closer to him. "Well there are 40 million of us in the world - odds are he would encounter one of us eventually." Her tone was flip and her eyes full of Spencer fire.

Douglas glared at the young girl with the angry face. "Ethan - this is completely unacceptable - her...condition aside, she is directly linked to one of my cases."

"Dad!" Ethan felt his temper rise "I don't have anything to do with your work.."

Lulu cut him off. "Not to mention I'm only linked to your case IF you choose to do so - you don't actually have to go there."

He smirked and looked back to his son. "She's certainly fiery."

"Shut up Dad" he said half pleadingly, half angrily.

"I am not discussing this case with either of you but if your friend persists in appealing then all bets are off. You should suggest she stay out of public places if she's going to seduce men."

Lulu's cheeks flared red. "How dare you" she said slowly. "How fucking dare you - she is a good mother and good friend and all you are doing is trying to break up her family because her parents are hateful people with tiny black hearts. You want to throw my HIV in the mix - go ahead - I fucking dare you. I hope she wipes the floor with you."

"Lulu..." Ethan tried to step towards her.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down Ethan Young"

"Uh-oh - full name again" he joked weakly.

"Ethan, show your friend to the door - you and I need to talk."

"Dad, I'm not having you dictate...."

"I'm not asking you - show her out and get your ass back here."

Crossing the room, Lulu snatched her coat from the chair Danielle had laid it on. Furiously shoving her arms through it, she zipped it up. "I don't need him to show me to the door - I have HIV, not a lobotomy." Heading to the door, she paused with her hand on the doorknob. "Just a question - did your soul-ectomy hurt?"

"Lulu..." Ethan said desperately.

Not looking back she pulled open the door and stormed out, leaving it swinging on its hinges.

Robin paid the taxi driver as he pulled to a stop in front of the hotel. She smiled at how familiar the Euros felt in her hand – it had been less than two years since she moved from Paris back home but it so many ways it felt like a lifetime. Coming home had been an experience of mixed emotions. She had returned to save her former love and had no plans to stay but her drug therapy failed and in the process of moving heaven and earth to save Jason, she also saved herself.

As she entered the elevator she shook her head at the twists and turns the last 18 months had brought. Her father rose from the dead, she fell in love with a man who loved her completely, she got married and had a baby. If anyone had suggested that even one of those things, let alone all three, would happen to her she would have scoffed loudly. For the first time in her life she wanted for nothing – she felt whole.

Sliding her key card in the door, she quietly pushed the door open and froze. The entire suite glowed in soft candle light and her husband was perched on the arm of the sofa dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and black wool dress pants. Holding two champagne flutes in his hand, he flashed her that smile he reserved just for her. "Welcome home" he said in his low, smooth baritone.

"Wow" she grinned, letting the door close behind her. "What is all this?" Dropping her purse she walked towards him slowly, taking one of the flutes from his hand and pressing her lips against his. "Hi" she whispered.

"Hi" he said against her mouth as he snaked his arm around her waist.

"Seriously – what's the occasion?"

"You are." He looked at her with his rich, brown eyes in a way that went straight to her soul.

"Me?" she giggled nervously.

He nodded. "I walked the streets of Rome until I got lost today and all I could think of was what you said to me this morning."

"What was that?"

"That I make you forget you have HIV."

Reaching up she stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. "You do" she said hoarsely. "You have no idea…"

Taking hold of her fingers, he brought them to his mouth and left a soft kiss on each finger. "Well it got me to thinking about what you have done for me and while the list is endless there are a few things I'd like to tell you about." Standing up, he moved the couch and pulled her in to his lap. She draped her arm over his shoulder and twirled the hair at the back of his neck through her fingers. He gently stroked her leg while looking at her with unabashed adoration. "I spent years running from love but because of you I know now I can't live without it – or more specifically, I can't live without your love and I don't want to try. You also gave me back my father…"

"You did that" she objected quietly.

He shook his head. "If you hadn't dumped that jug of water on his head, if you hadn't brought him back to GH and if you hadn't stayed with me every step of the way through his liver transplant I would not have him in my life right now. And while I know that you are here for Brenda, I also know part of you is here for my dad – the love and kindness you show him means more to me than almost anything else." Robin blinked several times, unable to speak. With a watery smile she leaned in and captured her husband's lips in a soft, tender kiss. "I somehow think there was a part of me that knew right away" he said as he pulled away from her lips.

"Knew what?"

"Knew that you would change my life."

"Oh Patrick." Robin set the champagne flute down on the end table and taking his face in her hands, brought her mouth down over his. Her tongue darted out, licking his bottom lip. He absently searched for the table to put his glass down as well. Having freed his hands, he slipped them under her dark blue sweater and ran them over her sides. Not breaking their kiss, Robin stood up and shifting positions, straddled him. Sliding his hands around to her back, he undid the clasp on her bra and pulled the straps from her shoulders. He took hold of the hem of her sweater and pulled it from her body, tossing it to the side. He buried his face between in valley between her breasts, leaving soft, wet kisses. She moaned in response, arching slightly towards him.

Sitting back he stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I have never known anyone as beautiful as you" he whispered.

"Nor I, you" she replied.

Patrick peeled his turtleneck from his body, revealing the long, lean torso that Robin could not get enough of. She ran her hands along the expanse of his chest while delicately assaulting his neck with kisses. He pushed his hips up towards her, evidence of his arousal being firmly felt. Grazing his nipples with her thumbs, she dipped her head and worked her tongue in the hollow of his neck. Sucking gently on the soft flesh she felt him shudder underneath her. She stood up and undoing her grey pants, let them fall to her ankles. Stepping out of them, she hooked her thumb through her panties but Patrick stopped her. "Let me" he asked as his eyes became hazy with lust.

Running a hand down the length of her body, he pulled her closer to him. He traced the outline of her breasts with his tongue and smiled as Robin through her head back with a long sigh. Sliding his hand over her panties he cupped her and bit his bottom lip at the evidence of her arousal. "You are so wet" he said in admiration. She parted her legs and ran her hands through his hair as he caressed her body with his lips. He slowly pulled her panties from her body and pressed his lips against her damp curls.

"Oh god" she said trembling.

Having helped her step out of her underwear, he stood up and quickly removed his pants and boxers. He massaged her breast while pulling a condom from his wallet. Taking the small packet from him, Robin sank to her knees and peppered his dick with kisses. She could see his muscles rippling in response to her touch. Swirling her tongue around the tip of his sensitive head she bit her lip to keep from smiling as his knees buckled slightly. "Robin" he said hoarsely. Seeing her look at him while stroking his length nearly made him come on the spot. She smiled seductively as she rolled the condom over his throbbing erection. Extending his hand, he pulled her to her feet and crashed his mouth on to hers. Their once tender kisses were now wet and hot. Their need for each other pushed everything else from their minds.

Breathless, Patrick broke their kiss and stretched out on to the couch. He held out his hand to her and she laid against him, her back to him. He lifted her leg slightly, opening her up to him as he slipped between her engorged folds.

"Fuck" she hissed as she felt him fill her. She moved her hips against his to accommodate him.

"Okay baby?" he asked as he lavished kisses on her neck and shoulders.

"Mmm" she murmured in response.

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her tightly to him and let his hand trail down between her legs. As he began to thrust inside her, he tugged gently on her clit, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. He repeated the same motion on her nipple with his other hand. Robin's head lolled back against his shoulder as her body was on fire from all the stimulation. He nibbled on her soft, fleshy earlobe and nipped at her neck. His pace picked up and she responded by moving her hips in time with his. Feeling her clenching around him, Patrick blew out a long steady breath, trying to hold off. He wanted them to come together and knew Robin was close. Her legs began to shake and twitch as he continued to work her sensitive nub. Their bodies were slick with sweat as they stayed pressed together, rocking back and forth in time with each other. Robin went very still for several seconds before slamming against him as she came hard.

Despite nearly having the wind knocked out of him, Patrick continued his unrelenting attention on her body until he followed her over the edge, his climax beginning at his toes and moving all the way through his body.

"Robin!" he cried as his body trembled before finally slowing down.

Breathless and panting for air, they stayed tangled in each other. Patrick nuzzled the back of her neck and stroked her skin. She entwined her fingers with his as they trailed over her torso. He was strangely silent and despite their very recent activity, she could feel the tension in his body. Robin turned her head slightly. "Are you okay?"

He nodded while leaving little kisses. "Never better" he said quietly.

Robin looked at him over her shoulder. "I don't quite believe you."

He buried his head in the crook of her neck. "It feels…there's change in the air – and not the good kind."

Reaching her hand behind her, she threaded her fingers through his hair. "That's not the first time you've said that."

"I just…there's a knot in my stomach."

"We have each other Patrick so no matter what the knot or the change is, we'll face it together."


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

The frigid air scorched her lungs as she ran. There was no direction and no destination, just a desire to run as fast as she could until it stopped hurting. The only problem was that she didn't know how far that was. The tears in her eyes stung, the wind nearly making them into tiny icicles. Her legs kept moving carrying her away from the place of her most recent humiliation. She was used to being goofy; awkward even, but total and complete humiliation was a new experience.

Lulu finally skidded to a stop as her legs turned to rubber. She simply could not take another step. Panting and spent, she leaned against a lamppost and for the first time felt the bile rise in her throat.

_"Listen, listen - we have the trump card - there's a girl in the house with HIV - we'll just use that against them and it's a slam dunk."_

Trump card. The words rattled around in her brain. Even in her darkest of places, she never would have imagined that she could be used against her friends, against the people who mattered most to her, in such a way. There was only one solution available to her and that was to remove herself from the situation. She had dared Douglas to use her disease like a weapon but it was false bravado. The idea that her having HIV could cost Nathalie her kids and even cost Nikolas his happiness was mind blowing.

Her breathing slowed and the sweat that had been pouring down her back chilled her now. She needed someone to talk to and the irony was not lost on her that Ethan would have been the best person to give her perspective. She thought of calling her father but the mere hint that he wouldn't have time to speak to her was more than she could bear. She peeled herself from the lamppost and started to walk. It wasn't until she caught sight of the familiar blue and grey sign that she realized she had run straight to the one person she wished could help her.

Walking along the hallway, her nose crinkling at the antiseptic smell, she stopped outside her mother's room and inhaled deeply. It would be a one way conversation but there was a part of her that hoped for once, just once, her mother would wake up and take her in her arms and tell her that she loved her.

"Hi Mom" she said, sinking to her knees in front of her. "You look pretty today." Picking up one of Laura's hands, she held it to her cheek. "It's pretty cold out there." She stared at her mother who sat staring straight ahead unblinking and unmoving. "So life kind of sucks right now – I was dating this guy – a great guy Mom, you would love him – but it's kind of fallen apart." Playing with her mother's fingers she realized for the first time that they had the same hands. She opened her mouth to speak again but was silenced by the futility. Standing up she rubbed her hands on her jeans. Leaning in, she kissed her mother on the cheek. "I love you Mom – I wish you and I could talk, really talk, like we used to but no matter what I love you."

Stifling a small sob as she exited the room, Lulu leaned against the wall and exhaled. If this was going to be resolved, if she was going to do right by her friends there was really only one person she could call. Looking up at the clock she wondered briefly if it was too early but she had said call anytime. Pulling out her phone she punched the keypad and waited.

After several long rings she heard the sleepy voice. "Pronto"

"Brenda it's Lulu and I need your help."

*********  
Nathalie sat curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. Alfred had made no comment about her not being home the night before other than to welcome her back. He had insisted she sit in front of the fire place and brought her mint tea and soda crackers. She wondered if the older man had some kind of e.s.p. She rubbed her stomach absently trying to get used to being pregnant again. Her mind was all over the map – she had one child living away from her, one child fighting for her life and now a third, growing inside her – none of which brought her any joy. It occurred to her that it was entirely possible she was in fact a bad mother – what kind of woman is not thrilled to be carrying the child of the man she loves? When she had become pregnant with Grace, her first feeling was fear but it quickly gave way to joy. She and Drew spent hours reading baby magazines and talking to her belly. Oliver had happened somewhat by surprise but was a happy surprise. Now all she felt was dread and she didn't know how she would hide that from Nikolas.

Lost in the thought and staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace, she didn't hear Alfred call to her until he touched her on the shoulder. "Oh goodness, I'm sorry Alfred" she said looking up.

"That's quite all right ma'am. I have Mr. Ethan here to see Miss Lulu."

Turning around on the couch she was shocked by his appearance. For such a young man, he looked haggard and his pale blue eyes were haunted. His face was pale except for where the wind had left its mark on his cheeks. "Ethan?" she asked as she got up.

"I need to see Lulu" he said urgently.

Nathalie furrowed her brow. "But I thought she was with you?"

Pacing, he shook his head. "No – she was – but something happened and she left and I need to explain it to her."

Suddenly concerned, Nathalie walked towards him and guided him to the couch. "What happened?"

Ethan tiredly ran his hands through his hair and stared at the floor. "Your parents really don't like you."

The sense of dread Nathalie had been feeling came screaming back. "Ethan, what happened to Lulu?"

"I brought her to meet my dad" he mumbled. "It was supposed to be the two most important people of my life meeting each other and somehow it seems I've lost them both"

Tilting his chin upwards, she forced him to look at her. "Tell me what my parents and your father have to do with potentially losing Lulu."

He sighed heavily, his heart shattered. "My dad said your parents freaked when they found out you appealed and they asked my dad to pull out all the stops to make you lose." Despite the heat from the fireplace a cold sweat trickled down her back. "And they told my dad about Lulu being HIV+ - he was on the phone with an associate when we got there and told him that Lulu was the trump card."

Nathalie blinked several times trying to comprehend what Ethan had just told her. She had known most of her life that her parents did not like her and only in rare moments did they love her but Ethan's information sounded like they were trying to blow her life apart regardless of the casualties. She had thought them capable of many things but this seemed low even for them. "Are you….are you sure?"

He nodded as he wiped at the tears threatening to fall. "He also told me I wasn't allowed to see Lulu anymore."

"Ethan…I'm…"

"I told him to forget it, that I was 21 and I could make my own decisions."

Nathalie's lips curled into a small smile. "I can't imagine that went over very well"

"No" he shook his head. "He told me he would cut me off – no money, no assistance – nothing. It's just been the two of us for a few years now and I don't want to lose my dad – he's all I have – but I can't let him hurt Lulu like that. I can't let him make her feel that she is dirty or a danger or anything less than who she is. I love her" he said hoarsely. "And I don't want to lose her."

Nathalie put her hand over hers. "No one should be in the position of having to choose between two people they love" she said softly.

"He's my dad, you know?"

She nodded. "I do. Your dad is just doing his job Ethan – you can't be too angry at him for that."

"Just doing his job?" he said incredulously. "He's going to hurt Lulu!"

"He is doing what his clients are directing him to do – it doesn't make it right – I'm not excusing him but I want you to understand that this is bigger than Lulu."

"That's what he said – he said there are forces at work that I don't understand."

Nathalie raised her eyebrows at that comment but let it drop. "How did you leave things with him?"

"I told him I loved him but that I loved Lulu too and if he wanted to cut me off then he should."

"That's a pretty bold move"

"Yeah, well" he sniffed. "Lulu is worth it." He let out a long breath. "I just wish I didn't have to choose."

Staring back at the fire for a moment, Nathalie pursed her lips together. Her parents had her right where they wanted her, backed in to a corner with the power to make the damage stop squarely in her hands. She knew they would not stop with Lulu – her father was so vindictive and so mean that he would drag as many people in her life through the mud as possible. Lulu was the first victim in this round but by no means the last. She would find a way to explain to her children that a victory at any cost was no victory at all. Too many people had sacrificed too much for her already. "I can stop this" she said quietly.

"What?"

"I can stop this – I will withdraw the appeal."

"But, but…what about your kids?"

Nathalie closed her eyes for a second to gather herself. "There are two months left in the temporary judgment – if I can stick it out until then and present new evidence to the judge, I can win them back. It's one thing for my parents to blow my life apart, it is completely another to do it to others."

"I didn't tell you this for you to do that – my father didn't ask me – this isn't a trap.."

She smiled reassuringly. "I know that Ethan. And I'm not doing this because of you – I'm doing this because it is simply the right thing to do."

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry – go find your girl and in a few days when things have blown over, go see your dad and make it up with him. He loves you Ethan and that is a valuable thing."

******  
The vibration of the phone pulled him from his sleep and he fumbled in the dark to pick it up. Grabbing hold of it, he flipped it open as he sank back against the pillow.

"Drake"

"I woke you up"

"Brenda" he said, suddenly wide awake. Rolling over he looked at the clock – 2:48 a.m. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked sitting up.

"I'm fine – I'm sorry to have woken you."

"It's okay" he reassured her, desperate to keep her on the phone as long as possible. "What's…what's going on?"

"I…uh….Lulu called me"

"What? Why?"

"Something has happened and she wants to come to Rome. I told her she could, of course. If Robin were there I would have called her but she's here and I don't want to bother them while they're here, they'll just panic and head back on the first flight and I don't know about you but I think they really kind of need this time away. Did you know they're trying for another baby? And really if they're going to get pregnant they need it to be stress free and this isn't stress free."

Noah couldn't keep from smiling as she rambled in that nervous way he had come to adore. "Did you breathe there at all?"

In spite of herself, Brenda let out a small giggle. "I've had two espressos this morning"

"Ah" he said knowingly. "Okay, back to the issue at hand – what has happened with Lulu?" Noah listened attentively as Brenda relayed the story and swore under his breath when he heard the trump card comment. "Where is she now?"

"I got her a room at the MetroCourt – she said she didn't want to go home, so I called Jax and he's taken care of her."

"I'll go see her first thing in the morning. Between us" he paused. His heart beat a little faster at the notion of him and Brenda doing something together even if it was to keep Lulu from running away to Italy. He swallowed thickly. "between us, we'll calm her down and fix this for her."

"Thanks Noah – I knew" Brenda shook her head, "I knew I could count on you" she said quietly.

"Always" he said "you can always count on me." There was a long silence as each wrestled with both the words said and those left unsaid.

"I meant what I said earlier" she said hoarsely. "I miss you."

Noah caught his breath. "And I meant what I said too – there is a place for you here whenever you are ready."

Brenda's eyes filled with tears. It had been years, if ever, since anyone had loved her so completely and she just didn't know how to handle it. It was almost too much goodness, too much love, for her to cope with. "I have to go" she said quickly.

"Okay." Noah tried to keep the sadness from his voice. He would have kept her on the phone for hours even if it was just to hear her breathe. "Thanks for calling."

"I'm sorry I woke you - go back to sleep."

"Sure thing" he said, knowing full well there would be no sleep now.

Brenda hung up the phone and stared at it. "I love you" she said under her breath.

******  
Danielle watched as Douglas paced his hotel suite. "You did well" she offered.

"Well?" he mimicked. "Well? It very well may have cost me my son – I love him more than anything."

Danielle sighed exaggeratedly. "I don't know why we have to keep going over this. You knew the circumstances of the deal you signed all those years ago – you would be called on to do specific work where required – to put your formidable skills to use in a way that fulfills the long term plans and goals of madame."

"I get it Danielle" he said, his voice rising in frustration. "But at what point do I get my freedom?"

"Never" she said simply. "And get that thought from your head - you remember what it cost you the last time you tried to break free – I doubt your son would be so lucky a second time around."


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

"Miss Nathalie? Dr. Drake to see you" Alfred said, ushering Noah in to the room. Nathalie had spent the nigh on the couch in front of the fire. After convincing Ethan to go in search of Lulu she got lost in her head, weighing the pros and cons of her decision to withdraw her appeal. She wondered if Drew would approve of how she was handling things. Much like Patrick, he was a more sensitive person than he let on to be and the idea of people being hurt because of him would have been abhorrent to him. She spent hours wondering how much damage all of this would to do to her children – would they be more damaged if she continued or if she backed off? Her only concern was that they grow up differently than she did – that they know love and never be afraid of it. Looking up, she smiled. Noah looked different than he had even a few days ago – there was light creeping back in to his eyes. Dressed in black pants and a dark green cashmere sweater with a white shirt collar poking through, she couldn't help but notice that he was standing taller giving off an air of confidence.

Noah was not as impressed with how Nathalie looked. Her eyes were heavy and her face pale. Her red hoodie was zipped up halfway and her white t-shirt underneath was wrinkled. He wondered if it was possible she had lost weight in the short period of time since he had last seen her.

"Good morning Noah" Nathalie said moving to get up.

He waved her back to her seat and sat on the other side of the couch from her. "You haven't slept" he observed.

"Oh I did – here and there" she said dismissively. "What brings you by at" she looked at her watch "7:25 in the morning?"

Opting to table the discussion about her lack of sleep until later, he decided to dive in and break the news about Ethan's father. "Lulu didn't have a very good night last night- she went to meet Ethan's father and…"

Nathalie cut him off. "I know" she said quietly. "Ethan was here looking for her last night and told me that my parents are going to make her HIV status an issue if I proceed with the appeal."

"Oh." It was becoming clearer to him why she looked so tired.

"How do you know about it?" she asked kindly.

"Brenda phoned me because Lulu phoned her."

Nathalie raised her eyebrows. "Two phone calls in less than 12 hours – well that's an interesting development indeed." Noah's cheeks flushed slightly. "And it is a subject we will return to shortly but why did Lulu call Brenda?"

"She wants to go stay with her in Italy." Noah filled in the details about how Brenda secured a room at the MetroCourt for Lulu and that he was on his way over to speak with her.

"I should call Ethan, he was out of his mind with worry last night. Give me a minute to call him and put some shoes on and we can head over there together."

Narrowing his eyes, he watched as she scrambled from the couch. "You're supposed to be resting."

"Lulu needs as much support as she can get – it's the least I can do for unleashing this hell on her. I called Nik last night but got no answer – I promised him I would look out for his sister and I intend to do just that."

Noah was left shaking his head at her steely determination. After only a few minutes, she came back downstairs, having changed into jeans and a red turtleneck. "Ready?" she asked.

"Okay – let's go" he said, putting his hand against the small of her back. "What did Ethan say? Is he going to meet us there?"

"No – he'll wait here at the house – I don't want her to be overwhelmed."

Noah had resisted all of Nathalie's hints to tell her about his phone call with Brenda. It wasn't that he didn't want to confide in her but he feared that if he spoke too much about it, it would somehow dilute the memory for him.

Frowning as he became aware of a slight tremble in Nathalie's hand as she knocked on the door, he noticed she tried to smile brightly and distract him from whatever observation he was currently making. "Nathalie…" he started. The opening door cut off any further communication.

Lulu looked from Nathalie to Noah in surprise. "You guys don't look like room service" she remarked dryly.

"Crap Noah, I knew we forgot to bring something – where is the Captain Crunch?"

"That was your job" he said playing along.

"No – my job is to be pretty; your job is to bring food."

"Why can't I be the pretty one?"

Lulu rolled her eyes. "If the Smothers Brothers are done with their morning routine…."

"Can we come in?" Nathalie asked.

Shrugging, Lulu stepped out of the way and let them through the door. Despite Jax having provided her with a suite, she had had little use for the bed or most of the amenities. Much like Nathalie, she had spent the night sitting on the couch thinking. "Dare I ask what brings you both here?" She flopped on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her.

"We heard you had kind of a crappy night" Nathalie offered.

"How?"

"Brenda." Noah said

"Ethan." Nathalie said at the same time.

"Ethan came to see you?" she asked in shock.

"No" she shook her head. "He came to see you but as you weren't there I forced him to spill his guts to me."

"And Brenda called you?" she asked, directing her question to Noah.

"She's worried about you."

"I'm fine" Lulu said with a confidence she didn't feel. It had been a long night. She had repeatedly flipped open her cell phone, starting one new text message after another to Ethan but never sending them.

"Lulu" they both said at the same time.

"Oh god" she said in mock horror. "You both have your mommy and daddy voices on. Listen" she said, suddenly standing up and pacing. "I'm fine – I'm going to go to Italy for a while, hang out with Brenda, flirt with Italian men and then when this stuff blows over, I'll be back – no biggie."

"Lu, you don't want to flirt with Italian men, you want to be with your boyfriend" Nathalie said quietly.

"My boyfriend's father is trying to wreck your life Nathalie – if I leave then he can't use me against you."

"You're not dating your boyfriend's father – at least I hope not – so stop punishing Ethan for something that isn't his fault – that boy is crazy over you."

"And Lulu" Noah began. "You leaving town won't likely change their plans."

She rubbed her hands over her face in frustration. She desperately wanted to be graceful about her situation – she wanted to be like Robin and stay above the fray but it was proving harder to do so than she had ever imagined. "I can stop this.."

"Actually you can't but I can" Nathalie said. "I called Alexis last night and I have withdrawn my appeal of the temporary custody decision and will wait to present new evidence of my fitness as a mother when the judge reconsiders it all in two months."

Both Noah and Lulu looked at her in shock. "Oh Nathalie" was all Noah managed to say.

"You can't do that" Lulu said, stomping her foot.

"I can and I did." She straightened her back. "It's done."

"No!" Lulu whined. "You can't give up fighting for your kids because of me – I don't care what they say about me." Her voice was frantic. "I really don't – but Nat – they need you – Gracie needs her mom – not your evil parents."

Standing up, Nathalie walked to Lulu and taking her by the hands pulled her on to the couch. "I care" she said firmly. Reaching out, she stroked the young girl's face. "I care what they say about you. I'm not giving up fighting Lulu; I'm just taking a different route. It is not Ethan's dad who is trying to wreck my life, it's my parents. And they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They will drag all of my friends' lives before the courts – yours, Patrick's, Robin's, Noah's" she said looking over at him. "Every painful detail will be dissected and examined, put in the public record. I will not let them do that – I cannot let them do that."

"But what if you win the appeal…."

"I'm not going to win the appeal Lulu – there is no way."

"Nathalie…." The young girl's green eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry."

Nathalie wrapped her arms around her. "You have nothing to be sorry for Lulu – absolutely nothing. You are so good to my children and to me – I'm sorry –I'm sorry that my mess of a life has caused you even a second of pain."

Lulu sucked in a breath and squeezed Nathalie, aware now of the enormity of the choices she has had to make. "Even if your parents don't love you, there are tons of us who do" she whispered.

Nathalie smiled at her kindness. "Thanks Lu." Pulling away from the embrace, Nathalie stood up. "Listen, your very worried and very sweet boyfriend is waiting for you at Wyndermere and I think he'd really like to see you. I'm sure Noah would be happy to escort you back there." Giving Nathalie a curious look, he nodded.

"Where are you going?" Lulu asked.

"To the hospital to see my daughter" she smiled. Reaching for her coat she put it on and stood up straight, putting her shoulders back. "Lulu – you picked a good one in Ethan – be kind and gentle with him – he's struggling too."

"Okay" she said hoarsely.

"See you both later" she said brightly, waving as she exited the door. Her legs felt weighted down as she walked to the elevator. It had never been in her nature to back down from a fight but she couldn't carry on. The cost of winning was too high as was the cost of losing. Placing her palms on the wall she took several long, slow breaths to steady herself.

"Nathalie?" She felt Noah's strong hand on her back. "Let me take you home."

Biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying, she straightened up and forced her lips into a smile. "Thanks Noah but I'm okay, I'm going to spend some time with Gracie – I wasn't there at all yesterday."

"You are not okay." His voice was firm. "Give me Nik's number; let me call him for you."

"It's fine really – he's off doing Cassadine stuff and doesn't appear to be reachable."

"You need to rest – you are on the verge of collapse."

"I will rest, with Gracie." The elevator sounded and the doors slid open.

"Nat." The warning in his voice was clear.

She shrugged his arm off. "I can't do this right now Noah –please take Lulu home. I just…I need to hold my daughter."

*********  
"If we're late, I'm blaming you" Robin teased as Patrick pulled his brown argyle sweater over his white dress shirt.  
"Me?" he asked innocently. "Please. You were the one who wanted to show me the sights."

"The sights of Rome Patrick – not of me – you all ready see those sights enough."

Doing up his belt, he turned to face her. "Okay, first of all, there is no such thing as seeing enough of you – I will never have enough of you, got it?" Robin grinned as she nodded. "And second of all, we saw the Pantheon – that's a sight of Rome."

"Oh really?" she challenged as she zipped up her red skirt. "I don't know how you saw the Pantheon since you were groping and mauling me."

"Mauling? I was not mauling you."

"I was there, there was definite maulage."

"I don't recall you complaining" he teased. Walking to her, he zipped up the back of her black blouse and left a wet kiss just behind her ear. He smiled as he saw the goose bumps form on her skin. "Brenda will understand why we're late."

"I do not want to have to explain to her that we were late because we were having sex in the Pantheon."

"I think the ancient Romans would have appreciated us."

"I'm not sure that tour group did."

_They walked hand in hand through the enormous entrance of the Pantheon. Patrick had marveled at the columns in front and like all the other tourists swarming the historical landmark, they tried to wrap their arms around the columns and found they could not touch each other. Robin, industrious as always, had her guidebook in hand and began to read from it._

"The original Pantheon was built in 27 BC-25 BC under the Roman Empire, during the third consulship of Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa, and his name is inscribed on the portico of the building. In 609 the Byzantine emperor Phocas gave the building to Pope Boniface IV, who reconsecrated it as a Christian church, the Church of Mary and all the Martyr Saints , which title it retains."

"Do you have any idea how hot I am for you right now?" he said, whispering against her neck.

"Paaatrick" she admonished. "Pay attention."

"Oh I am" he said, dropping her hand and walking behind her, his hands on her waist. He nipped at her neck, feeling her shudder under his lips.

"During the reign of Pope Urban VIII (died 1644), the Pope ordered the bronze ceiling of the Pantheon's portico melted down. Most of the bronze was used to make bombards for the fortification of Castel Sant'Angelo, with the remaining amount used by the Apostolic Camera for various other works." She carried on, trying to ignore his touches. She gasped as he let his thumbs graze over her nipples as they examined the walls. She cursed her responsive body as they pebbled and hardened.

"Don't these columns remind you of anyone?" he asked playfully as he nuzzled her neck.

Unable to stop herself, Robin let out a loud laugh. "Nice ego on you."

"You like my ego." He spun her around and pushed her against the wall, crashing his mouth over hers. As their tongues tangled with each other, they were oblivious to the looks of disapproval being sent their way. He moaned as his erection strained against his jeans. Overcome with desire for his wife, he pulled her into a deserted corner, behind a pillar. Pushing her skirt up her hips, he let his fingers trail across her centre, continually amazed at how wet she became for him. He slipped a finger inside her, exploring her slick passage.

"Patrick, this is so wrong" she said hoarsely as she pushed down on his hand and pulled him closer to her.

"No baby, this is so right. You make me so hot when you get all brainiac on me."

Her stomach tightened and her body twitched as a result of both his attention and the rush of being in public. "Do you…do you have anything?" she panted at him.

"Just like the boy scouts" he said, reaching for his wallet and handing it to her. She quickly pulled a condom from it and after handing his wallet back to him, unzipped his jeans and freed his arousal. Patrick hisses as her tiny hand wrapped around him, stroking him with one hand, while sheathing him with the other.

"We're going to get caught" she said even as her eyes turned to dark pools of lust.

"Don't care" he said raggedly, pushing himself into her hand. There had been no time for long, languid kisses or exploration of each other's bodies – his need for her was urgent. Patrick pushed her panties to the side and buried himself inside her. Their bodies began to move in unison, Robin equally overcome by desire. The sensation of his cock throbbing and pulsing inside her sent her spiralling over the edge and she bit his shoulder to keep from crying out. Patrick came hard against her.

He was just pulling up his zipper as Robin smoothed her skirt when they heard someone clearing their throat. Looking up, they came eye to eye with a shocked tour guide and some equally shocked seniors.

"It's okay" Patrick said, flashing his dimple. "I'm a doctor."

Robin's cheeks turned flame red and grabbing his hand, beat a hasty retreat out the door, howling with laughter. 

"That's the one story the tour group is going to tell over and over again" Patrick said proudly. "We have given them memories for a lifetime."

Robin just shook her head and slipped her coat on. A wave of nausea ran over her but passed as quickly as it came. "Ready husband?"

"Yes wife."

"You will be nice to Brenda, won't you?"

"Yes wife" he smiled.

******

Brenda was a bundle of nervous energy when they arrived at her place for dinner. She fussed and rambled, shoving drinks in to their hands. Having difficulty meeting Patrick's eyes, she directed most of her conversation to Robin.

"Don't tell me – you're late because you needed a 'consult'"

Robin blushed and Patrick smirked. "Medical emergencies can crop up at the strangest of times" he said.

Brenda groaned and rolled her eyes. "Please tell me this…er…emergency didn't occur while visiting the Vatican? Pope Benedict has yet to recover from your last visit to Rome."

"Pantheon, actually" he offered.

"Patrick!" Robin slapped him playfully.

"Hey Brenda" Patrick said, well aware of her discomfort.

"Yeah?" she said continuing to look at Robin.

"It's okay to look at me, I got the Medusa thing fixed a while back."

Brenda sighed heavily. "I'm sorry" she said, meeting his eyes for the first time. "I just feel weird."

He smiled kindly at her. "No need to."

Robin sniffed her wine and put it back on the table. "Bren, could I trouble you for some Perrier or something. We ate some Street Meat on the Spanish Steps and it's giving me the worst stomach ache."

"No sweat, I'll be right back."

Patrick looked at his wife with concern. "Are you okay? You didn't tell me you weren't feeling well."

"I'm fine" she patted his leg. "But I have been tasting that sausage from lunch all afternoon – I guess I'm just not digesting it well."

"I'm sorry baby" he said, kissing her on the cheek. Brenda returned with a tall glass of Perrier and handed it to her.

"So, do I get Rian stories or what? How is my godchild?"

"Perfect" Patrick replied. "Absolutely perfect."

"But he misses his godmother" Robin said gently.

"Please – he's got you and your motley crew."

"Nope – he misses you" Patrick added. "We were watching hockey the other night and I was explaining to him how Dominic Hasek really needs to take his fragile, girly groin and go back to the Czech Republic and…"

"Who?" she asked in confusion.

"Just nod and smile" Robin said in a loud stage whisper.

"Anyway" Patrick said exaggeratedly. "Rian turned to me and said, Dad – I miss Brenda and I want to know when she's coming to hang out."

"You know – you're being awfully nice to me and it's creeping me out" she teased.

"Imagine how I feel" he retorted. Robin excused herself and headed out of the room. "Robin?"

"Just going to pee" she said "but thanks for making me announce that."

Patrick shrugged and took a sip of his wine. Brenda's legs bounced up and down as she pulled on the sleeves of her sweater. He watched her with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. His father was in love with this woman and while she was extraordinary looking, he knew it ran deeper than that. He tried to see her as his father did – to understand how this woman, this significantly younger woman, had captured his heart that had been untouchable since his wife's death.

"You're staring" Brenda accused.

"You're fidgeting" he replied. "Brenda – for whatever it's worth, I'm not angry with you."

Snapping her head up, she looked him with a furrowed brow. "You're not?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. And my dad isn't angry with you either – he loves you."

She sighed heavily. Talk of Noah exhilarated and pained her all at once. "I spoke to him" she said quietly.

"I heard. That's good." There was encouragement in his voice. "I'm sure he was happy to hear from you."

"I don't know – I hurt him pretty badly."

"He hasn't stopped loving you."

"Your dad is really good man Patrick – trust me, I have known a lot of men in my time and your father is a breed apart." She looked at him intently before dropping her eyes.

"He is" he concurred. "It may have taken me a long time to realize it, but my dad is possibly the best man I know." Brenda smiled but kept her eyes glued to the floor. "The thing is Brenda, my dad doesn't make hasty decisions – every move he makes has been carefully considered – and if he loves you it's because you have something special to offer."

"Patrick…"

Cutting her off, he carried on. "Now, I will disavow all knowledge of what I'm about to say if you ever try to get me to repeat it" he said, smiling warmly at her. "But I think you're pretty amazing – you have been an outstanding friend to both Robin and me – you were a rock following her car accident and you kept believing when some of us, like me, were having a crisis of faith. You are a good person Brenda, you are kind and loving and deserve good things in life – and that includes having someone like my dad in your life. Do what it is you need to do but know that you deserve my dad – and my dad deserves you."

Tears streamed from Brenda's face as she looked up. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't speak. Getting up from his seat, he walked to her and kissed her forehead. "You're alright" he said quietly.

Robin came back in to the room, moving slowly causing Patrick's face to cloud over. She was pale and her eyes were red rimmed – she had clearly been sick. Leaving Brenda's side, he was by her in a flash and guided her to the couch.

"Robin – what's wrong?"

"I was just sick"

"I can see that."

"Um Patrick?"

"Yes" he said, pushing her hair from her face.

"Do you think we can go and get a pregnancy test?"


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

"Pardon?" Patrick asked in shock.

"I think – it's possible – I think I might be pregnant." Robin stammered.

"But how?" Robin arched her eyebrows at his question. "Okay, I get the how" he corrected "but I thought the last test was negative?"

"It was – maybe….oh god" A look of horror crossed her face. "What if I've exposed you again?" Tears sprang to her eyes.

Patrick took both her hands in his and smiled at her reassuringly. There was a part of his heart that broke every time Robin's fears about transmitting HIV came to the surface. When she had discovered she was pregnant with Rian and then later that he was the father, she had been beside herself that she had exposed him to the virus. Even more upsetting to her was that by the time they realized he was the father it was too late to put him on the PEP protocol and they waited six long months to know for sure if he was in the clear. He had been so moved when she told him that he made her forget she was HIV+ but the truth was, despite the regular protocol and the extra precautions they took, he often forgot too. The truth about her disease and what it could do was never completely gone from his mind but on a day to day basis she was his wife – his beautiful, smart, hot wife. HIV didn't enter his mind.

"Robin if you're pregnant, it's from the artificial insemination – not from a broken condom."

"Patrick!" she protested " We have sex almost every day…"

"Okay – ewww – I didn't need to know that" Brenda teased.

Robin blew out her cheeks and gave a small smile. "I'm being hysterical, aren't I? I mean I'm probably not pregnant, I probably just have food poisoning or something."

"Robin – is this how you felt with Rian?" Brenda asked.

She nodded. "I was sick every day – of course with Rian I just thought I had the flu. I am, of course, a brilliant doctor…" she said rolling her eyes.

Patrick chuckled as he continued to stroke his cheek. "We'll stop at a pharmacy and get a pregnancy test."

"I swear, if I am – we are getting you PEP tonight."

"Robin – I keep trying to tell you – it's not possible. We did not have sex when you were ovulating – we weren't allowed, remember?"

"Oh god – my ears are bleeding" Brenda joked. "I'll be back" she said as she got up and left the room.

"We had plenty of sex!" she protested.

"Okay, let me rephrase – we didn't have intercourse while you were ovulating. Now, my boys are good swimmers but not even they can do the impossible." She moved into his arms, letting them close around her. His warmth relaxed her and she sighed deeply.

"You want this, right?" he asked tentatively.

Lifting her head, she studied his face carefully. "To be pregnant? Yes Patrick I want it very much but there's one thing I forgot…"

"What's that?"

"These freaking hormones make me mental" she said against his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "I kind of like you a little bit crazy." He linked his fingers through hers. "Look, if the test is positive, we will fly home tomorrow and go see Dr. Maida as soon as we land – if it's not positive, we will fly home tomorrow and go see Alan as soon as we land."

"So either way we're going home tomorrow?"

He nodded. "I think you've done what you needed to do. Brenda and my dad have spoken to each other –that's huge. And while I have no objection to you wanting to spend time here, if you're not feeling well – if there's even the slightest change to your health, I want you back in the States under Alan's care."

"You're kind of hot when you're bossy" she said tiredly.

There was no doubt in her mind that she was pregnant. She had been feeling fatigued for days but chalked it up to chasing after her son, working full time and dealing with the myriad of crises at home and here in Italy. But now the indigestion, the spotting and the mood swings were all convincing her that she was in fact carrying their second child.

"I'm kind of hot always" he teased as he rubbed her back. "Robin" he said softly, "there isn't anything we can't face together – second baby, health issue – carrying triplets" She swatted his chest playfully. "You taught me how to be a partner and so this is what we do."

"I love you" she said, wiping at the tears that had appeared out of nowhere.

"Yeah, yeah sure you do and in nine months you'll be calling me every name under the sun and threatening to remove my appendages."

"Pretty much" she laughed, sniffling. Brenda came back in to the room and handed Robin a box. Robin looked up at her in surprise. "Dare I ask what you are doing with a pregnancy test?"

"Oh god" Patrick covered his face.

Brenda threw a pillow at him. "Relax – no little brother or sister for you."

"Seriously, are my brains leaking from my ears? Because it feels like that is happening."

"I had an occasion to buy one before I returned to Port Charles" she said looking at Patrick. "They come four in a box – there are three left."

Robin turned the box over in her hand. "Would you mind if I did it now?"

Brenda grinned. "I was SO hoping you were going to say that!"

Robin looked at Patrick. "Well?"

"Go forth and pee on a stick" he said, kissing her forehead. Slowly getting up from the couch, Robin swayed slightly as she made her way to the bathroom.

"So" Brenda said looking at Patrick. "More wine?"

"I think I might need it" he said, holding out his glass to her. Brenda filled his glass and sat back down. "You know, there's something about Rome and Robin being pregnant…" he said referring to the last time.

They had just reestablished their relationship when Robin announced that she needed to go to Rome suddenly to see Brenda. She had been evasive and distant but Patrick was still learning about her and hadn't realized she was running away. The day she left he swung by her apartment to drop a few things off and while there decided to tidy up for her. He was emptying her garbage when multiple pregnancy tests fell from the bag. They were all positive and he had been thunderstruck. Everything suddenly came together for him and he literally jumped on the next plane to Italy, following her across the ocean. Though he hadn't told her at that point, he knew he loved her –that she was the only woman in the world for him and discovering she was pregnant forced him into action.

"You look worried" Brenda remarked.

He shrugged slightly. "I am a little I guess – it's not as important to me that she's pregnant – so long as she's okay."

She smiled at him. "I still remember when you showed up at my door and charmed your way inside."

"I still remember you kicking my ass at the hotel when I was going to leave."

"What made you come back?"

"You and Nathalie" he said simply. "You both told me, not what I wanted to hear but what I needed to hear."

"We're smart women."

He smiled. "Yes you are and I'll admit to being slightly terrified when the three of you are in a room together."

"You're smarter than you look" she teased.

He rubbed his hand together nervously and looked back at her. "Listen Brenda – regardless of what the test says we're going to fly home tomorrow – because if she's not pregnant, she needs to see Alan. Why don't you come with us?"

Her wine glass slipping in her hand, Brenda tried to compose herself. "Uh – wow – I'd love to but I'm in a really busy period at work."

"You're going to have to come home sometime" he said.

"This is my home"

"Nah – this is where you live. Your friends – and my father – live in Port Charles – that's your home."

"Not even sure you're a father for a second time and you're getting all sentimental on me." She was trying desperately to deflect the conversation. The truth was she wanted to go back – she wanted to rebuild her life with her friends, old and new and with Noah but there was something stopping her. Until she could figure out what that was she was where she needed to be.

"Okay" he acquiesced, recognizing that she didn't want to be pushed. Both looked up in surprise when Robin returned. "Well?" he asked trying to contain his excitement.

Robin pursed her lips together and held up the three pregnancy tests. "We're having another baby, baby."

Brenda squealed and Patrick cheered, jumping from the couch. He picked up his wife and swung her around. "I love you so much" he said.

"Um Patrick" she said, patting his arm. "Please put me down."

"Oh god – I'm sorry." He carried her to the couch. "Are you okay?"

"I'm pregnant, nauseous and moody."

"Bring it on" he said grinning. "I love you" he kissed her lips. "so so so much."

"Oh lord – are you guys reenacting the Pantheon?" Brenda teased. Getting up from her chair, she pushed Patrick aside and hugged Robin tightly. "I'm so happy for you sis."

"Me too" Robin smiled. "Me too."

Brenda refilled their glasses, with Robin having Perrier and they toasted to the forthcoming addition to the Scorpio-Drake household. Exhaustion for Robin had set in and despite an offer of dinner, they opted to head back to the hotel and change their return flights home. Embracing her friend before leaving Robin also tried to convince her to come back with them but Brenda resisted, giving her the same reasons she gave Patrick.

"Soon Bren – you need to come back soon."

"We'll see" she said guardedly. "I love you Robs and I so happy for you."

"Love you too. Call Noah again."

"Take care of my girl Patrick" she said hugging him.

"Always. Take care of yourself Brenda" he whispered, kissing her on the cheek.

******  
Slipping out of her brown wrap dress, Brenda pulled her closet door open and hung it up. From the corner of her eye she could see the nearly translucent fabric and though she had been ignoring the dress since her return to Italy, tonight she pulled it from its hanger. She ran her fingers lightly over the shiny satin. Once Robin and Patrick decided to get married in Australia, it had been a mad dash to get all the details pulled together in two days. The newlyweds-to-be had very few demands or needs for their big day save for one or two. The wedding would be on the beach before sunset and everyone would dress in white - no ties, no jackets and no sweeping ball gowns - just simple, crisp white clothing. Having grabbed Lulu and Nathalie, they headed in to downtown Brisbane to find dresses. They had come across a little boutique on a side street carrying a small but impressive selection of Australian and European designers. The dress had caught her eye immediately - it was simple and understated but rich in the way it draped her body. It was a bias cut dress that skimmed her knees; the neckline was a tasteful, modestly plunging v on both the front and the back. As soon as she looked in the mirror she knew it was the dress and if she were completely honest, even there at the store, she had wondered if Noah would like it.

Her lips curled into a small smile as she thought of those heady days in Australia. She had no reason to believe that Noah Drake was the slightest bit interested in her - while he had always been gentle and kind, he had not flirted or taken liberties - which was likely the reason she was attracted to him. All of her life men had given her attention for her looks or what having her on their arm would say about them but Noah was different. Bringing the fabric to her nose she thought there would perhaps be a faint trace of his scent on the dress - she was disappointed when there wasn't. Unzipping the dress she pulled it on and lay down on her bed. Her hair fanned around her on the pillow; the richness of her brown locks a stark contrast to the white pillow case.

In thinking back on it now she didn't know what possessed her to make a move on Noah. It had been incredibly risky on her part but every time she was in his company she felt drawn to him. He had danced with her at the wedding and hummed along to the music. The vibrations from his throat reverberated against her skin and gave her goose bumps. His hands were strong and it wasn't until she had pulled him up from the sand to start the long walk back to their hotel that she realized what it was that she liked about his hands - they made her feel secure.

_They said little as they walked to the hotel - his thumb moved in soft circles along her palm. Reaching down her dress, she pulled her key card from her bra._

Noah smirked as she opened the door. "What else do you have stashed in there?" he asked jokingly.

"I think you're about to find out." She pulled him through the door and led him to the couch. Sitting down, he pulled her onto his lap licking his lips nervously. Brenda gave him a small smile and draped her arm across his shoulder. "Hi there Original Hottie."

He trailed his finger along her leg over the cool satin material. "Hi" he replied.

Brenda dipped her head and captured his mouth. His lips were soft and parted easily allowing her tongue to sweep inside. He cupped the side of her face, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. A small moan escaped her lips as she shifted in his lap. She felt the hesitation in his kiss before he pulled away. Turning his head to the side he let out a long, slow breath. Gently tracing her fingers under his eyes, she turned his head back to face her. "Are you okay?"

He smiled apologetically. "I'm having a bit of a moment" he said truthfully.

"Oh" she said, trying to keep the disappointment from her face. That was the problem with risk - if it worked, the payoff was tremendous, but if it didn't the failure too could be tremendous. "Do you...do you not want to?" she asked.

Tilting his head to the side he reached up and ran his fingers through her hair. "You are an extraordinarily beautiful woman Brenda..."

"But you don't want to have sex with me" she finished.

"No, that's not it at all."

"Is it because I'm younger? Or because I'm Robin's friend?"

He entwined his fingers through hers and brought her hand to his mouth dropping a soft kiss on it. "It's not that - though it probably should be."

"Then what? Do you doubt I'm attracted to you? Because I am and have been for a while now."

He smiled, his eyes crinkling. "No, I think I figured that out when you asked me about the mile high club on the flight over." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm a little nervous" he admitted.

"Why? I don't bite - well, unless you want me to." She giggled lightly.

"Brenda - I've only had sex a few times since my wife died and I wasn't sober during any of those times." He swallowed thickly. "This will be the first time in ten years that I'll be having sex and not be drunk - it's a little terrifying. I, uh, well..." his cheeks flushed slightly, "performance might be an issue."

His admission had only served to heighten her attraction and she slid from his lap to stand up. She held his gaze as she pulled her dress over her head and tossed it to the floor. Having kicked off her shoes when she came in, she stood before him in a sheer white bra and matching g-string. Her golden skin glowed against the light material. She smiled as his eyes grew heavy with lust. 

_"It's okay" she said as she walked towards him. Straddling his lap, she cupped his face with her hands. "We have all night and can go as slowly as you want to." She could hear his breath shorten and she felt his arousal push up against her. Dipping her head, she pressed her lips against his. "And I think you are so incredibly sexy" she whispered._

_Noah inhaled before seizing her lips. His kiss moved from gentle to aggressive and Brenda responded by pushing her body against his. Sweeping her hands over his shoulders and down his chest, she undid the buttons of his shirt and pulled it from him. Dropping his shirt to the floor she did a double take. "Where did that come from?" she asked wondrously._

"Where did what come from?" his voice was tinged with confusion.

She ran her fingertips over his collarbone and let them trail down his chest, grazing his nipples. "This body - where did this body come from? Have you always had it?" 

_  
Noah laughed nervously. "Um...yes?"_

"You are seriously built"

Covering his eyes with his hands, he blushed. "Can we stop talking about my body?"

"Good point - why talk when I can taste?" she dropped her lips to his shoulder, kissing his skin softly. 

_He closed his eyes and shivered as Brenda moved her lips all over his skin. She stroked him, kissed him and worked her tongue over his nipples. He threaded his hands through her hair, pushing his body into her lips. Still astride his lap, Brenda could feel him responding to her attention. She moved back to his mouth, greedily sucking on his tongue. The sweep of his hands across her skin was one of the sweetest touches she had felt in a long time. He palmed her breasts and traced the outline of them with his fingertips. With one hand, he reached behind her and popped her bra clasp letting it fall away from her. The feel of his mouth on her breasts as he, first tentatively, then confidently, kissed her sent her reeling._

She moved from his lap and grinned at the small whimper that emerged from his throat. Taking him by the hand, she led him to the bedroom. She lay down on the bed, propped up on her elbows and stared at him. "You are so hot" she purred.

Noah watched her for a few moments before making quick work of his belt and letting his pants drop to the floor. He allowed himself a small smirk at Brenda's expression when she saw his erection jutting forth. "I may be old but I've got some game" he teased.

She threw her head back as she laughed uproariously. He completely disarmed her – there was no pretense and no agenda – he was exactly who he appeared to be. Kneeling on the bed, he peeled her now damp g-string from her and tossed it to the side. She parted her legs for him as he lavished her torso in kisses. Each touch of his lips was like a jolt of electricity through her body. He ran his hands up her legs and grazed her hot centre. Brenda moaned and arched from the bed, trying to encourage him to go further. He lowered his head and kissed her sex, his tongue circling her sensitive nub.

".god" she cried. She fisted his hair and parted her legs further for him. Noah smiled against her skin as he slipped first one, then two fingers inside her. He moved them rhythmically, increasing the pace and then pulling back. The stopping and starting was driving her mad with desire. He brought her to the edge twice before moving his way back up her body.

"Do you…have anything?" he asked, hovering over her mouth.

She nipped at his lips, wanting to taste as much of him as she could. "You aren't going to think me a hussy if I say yes, are you?"

"I think you are a beautiful, smart, sexy woman and why wouldn't you be prepared?"

_He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. She moved quickly to get the condom so he wouldn't see the tears that had suddenly formed in her eyes. There was something about the lack of judgment in his voice that broke through all her walls. Tearing open the foil packet, she pushed him back against the bed and wrapped her hand around his cock. She stroked him slowly and watched as he closed his eyes, clearly lost in the pleasure. Lowering her head, she closed her mouth around him and began to work her tongue around his length. His eyes flew open and he gently removed her from him._

"_I..uh…I really want to be inside you" he said blushing._

Realizing what he meant, Brenda smiled and quickly sheathed him. Moving across him, she slowly lowered herself on to him, gasping as he filled her.

"Fuck" Noah hissed as she rocked her hips back and forth. 

_He took hold of her hips and rolled her on to her side. He pulled her leg over his hip, pushing himself deeper inside of her. Their hips moved in unison as Noah assaulted her neck with his mouth and explored her body with his hands. Brenda ran her hands through his hair and over his shoulders, struck again by the strength they possessed. Feeling him pulsing inside her, she was surprised at how quickly her orgasm came – in fact, she was amazed she had one at all. Though she never lacked for male company, not every encounter ended with fireworks for her. He pulled her tightly to him as he came inside her and held her until their pulse rates returned to normal._

She was shocked when he ran his thumb under her eyes and wiped away tears. She hadn't even been aware she was crying. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah" she tried to cover. "I've never – I don't cry – I'm not a crier"

He kissed her under one eye and then the other. "There's nothing wrong with crying" he said softly. "Releases happen in all kinds of ways."

Her normal routine was to cuddle for several minutes and then head to the shower, hoping her date would be long gone by the time she was done. Instead, she snuggled in closer to him and held tightly. He had stroked her hair, murmuring to her, his arms around her securely. In that moment she didn't want to let him go. 

Brenda wiped at the tears that had gushed down her face at the memory. She wished he was here with her now – that she had the courage to fly back to Port Charles and run into his arms – but she wasn't ready. Not yet.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Lulu pushed on the front door of Wyndermere and nearly fell through as Alfred pulled it open.

"Good morning Miss Lulu"

"Alfred, tell the truth now, do you have e.s.p or spy cameras or something?" she asked as she shrugged off her jacket.

"A good butler anticipates, Miss Lulu" he said holding a hanger out to her. "Mister Young is waiting for you in the drawing room. I have a pot of coffee and fresh scones waiting."

Standing on her tiptoes, she placed a small kiss on the older man's cheek. "You rock Alfred."

"I most certainly do not rock Miss Lulu but thank you," he smiled at her.

Nervously Lulu walked in to the drawing room. It had been less than 12 hours since she had seen Ethan but it felt like a week - she was dying to see him but afraid that he would decide she was too much to take on. She chuckled to herself, who was she kidding, of course she was too much to take on - she was a Spencer after all and Spencers were not for the faint of heart. She pulled on her sweater and tried to smooth her hair - she suddenly wished she had lip gloss with her. Stopping in the doorway she saw him sitting on the couch, cradling a coffee mug between his hands. His long legs bounced up and down as he stared off in to space. It was obvious that she wasn't the only one who had a sleepless night.

"Hey" she called to him quietly.

He looked over at her, his blue eyes still haunted. "Hi." He set the mug down on the table. "I hope you don't mind but Nathalie said it would be okay if I waited."

Crossing the room, she sat down on the couch close enough for their legs to touch. "I didn't think you would be here."

"Where else would I be?" he asked. He hated the strangeness between them. In a short period she had come to mean so much to him, he knew he was likely too invested in her but he couldn't help himself. Lulu made him feel normal after years of not feeling anything. He just hoped it wasn't too late, that he hadn't walked out on his father for nothing and that he'd wind up alone.

"I just thought... - I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to walk away."

"I don't want to" he whispered. "Not ever."

Lulu dropped her head. "I'm sorry I yelled at you last night" she said quietly, staring at the ground.

"Are you okay?" Lulu nodded. "I told my dad off and came after you but I couldn't find you." He sucked in a sharp breath. "He told me if I kept seeing you he would cut me off financially."

Her head snapped up in surprise. "Ethan - oh god - oh no."

He shook his head. "It's okay - I'll get a job and a student loan - it's not like a million other students don't do the same thing."

"I don't want you to change things with your dad because of me."

"It's not because of you - it's because of him." Blinking rapidly, he breathed in slowly. "That's not my dad - the way he spoke to you - that's not who he is."

Lulu reached for his hand with Nathalie's words about what a difficult time he's had echoing in her head. "I'm really sorry."

"Me too," he said closing his eyes in relief as her hand closed around his. "That's not my dad" he whispered. "That's not the guy who stayed at my bedside day and night"

Still holding his hand she turned to face him, tucking her legs underneath her. "What do you mean stayed at your bedside?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing. Anyways, I'm glad you're okay."

"Nuh-uh - no way" she said forcefully. "You don't get to throw that out there and then dismiss it like it's no big deal. Why were you in the hospital?"

Ethan picked up the plate from the table and offered it to Lulu. "Scone?" he asked. "I've had two already and they're really good."

Lulu shook her head, unable to tear her eyes away from Ethan's. Normally so calm and cool - she often teased him about being zen - he was so tightly wound this morning. "Ethan." She put her hand on his. "Talk to me." With his breathing ragged and unable to meet her gaze, he chewed on his lip. "It's about your mom, isn't it?" He nodded. "You got hurt when your mom was...."

"Murdered. My mom was murdered."

Lulu stroked the hair along the nape of his neck. "You don't have to tell me."

"I do." He inhaled sharply. "I need you to know why I can't completely cut my dad from my life."

"I don't want you to do that..."

"I should though - I should be able to cut him off completely for what he did and what he said to you but I can't."

Lulu continued to play with his hair letting her fingers gently massage his neck. Neither spoke for several minutes as their respective pain and fear hung in the air. Ethan shifted on the couch moving closer to his girlfriend. "I was on my way to hockey practice" he started, his hand clammy and trembling inside Lulu's. Remembering the number of people who held her, loved her and transferred their strength to her when she needed it most, she held his hand tightly. "My parents had bought me a Range Rover for my 16th birthday."

"Nice ride" Lulu teased gently.

"Oh I was all kinds of hot in it" he smiled weakly. "It was a Thursday - it was a special practice because we had a big tournament in Canada on the weekend, so I had just thrown my equipment in the back when my mom came out and said she wanted to come to practice with me. She'd been working late a lot and I hadn't seen much of her so she jumped in my truck and we headed to the rink." He closed his eyes as it all came back to him - the starless sky, the way the traffic light swung in the wind and the slightly acid smell to the air. "We were at a red light when these two guys pull open the back door of my truck and jump in. They pulled guns on us and ordered me to drive." Lulu's stomach began to twist and knot in anticipation. "My mom tried to reason with them, offer them the truck, money – she even offered her jewelry but they weren't interested. They forced us to a vacant lot and told me to turn the engine off. I tried to bluff them and say that I had hit a panic button but somehow they knew I was lying. We were ordered out of the car and I was told to kneel. They held my mom off to the side." His voice shook as the nightmare of that night played out before him. Wrapping her arms around him, Lulu held him tightly.

"The first guy put a gun to my forehead"

"Ethan" Lulu whispered in horror.

"And he started to pull the trigger but my mom broke free of the guy holding her and launched herself at him. His shot was off some and he hit me in the shoulder and not the head. I don't even remember the bullet going in me – no pain, no screaming – I was completely frozen. The guy smacked – I mean smacked – my mom across the face. It wasn't until I tried to get up that I even knew I had been shot. The second guy started to shoot and the bullet hit me here" he said, pushing his hair back and for the first time Lulu noticed a tiny scar buried in his hairline. "My mom," a small sob escaped his lip and she pressed her lips against his temple while rubbing his shaking arms soothingly. He took several deep breaths before starting again. "My mom threw herself on top of me and they filled her with bullets. There was no sound, they had silencers but the smell of the guns was overwhelming – I passed out. Convinced we were both dead, they took my truck and left."

Stroking his cheek, she pressed her lips near his ear. "I am so sorry" she whispered.

He nodded in recognition. "That was Thursday – the next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital and it's Tuesday. My dad was there in the chair by my bed – he stayed with me the whole time. I didn't remember anything for a few days and then it all came back. I had nightmares – the shakes – the sweats – you name it. At home, I would wake up screaming and my dad would come to my room and stay with me until I was okay. That is my dad – I don't know who that was last night but that wasn't him."

She tightened her hold on him. "Last night doesn't matter" she said softly. "You'll find a way to make it up with your dad."

"Lu" he said tiredly. The fight with his father had been draining and looking for his girlfriend most of the night had exhausted him but the telling of his story, of the most awful night of his life, had sapped him of whatever strength he had left.

"Shh" she soothed. "You must be tired." He nodded sheepishly, afraid that he had revealed too much vulnerability to this girl who embodied strength and determination for him. She stood up and took his hand. "Me too – I didn't sleep very much last night…"

He relcutantly let her pull him from the couch. There was a large part of him that, having exposed himself, wanted to run and hide. Being a runner herself, Lulu knew this but had learned as recently as that morning that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to stand still. Gripping her hand, he let her lead him up the stairs and to her bedroom. She stripped down to her boy shorts and tank top while Ethan kicked of his shoes and let his pants and shirt fall to the floor. She held the covers back for him while he tentatively climbed in the bed. Once in, Lulu tangled herself around him lovingly running her hands over his bare skin. "Thank you for telling me" she whispered. Moved by her support and her taking care of him, he pressed his lips into the top of her head and said nothing. He had no words left for the moment.

*****  
Annoyed at being pulled away from his blue prints by the shrill ring of his phone, he flipped it open. "Yes madame?"

"We have a new wrinkle"

"Oh?" he said, rolling his eyes. While Helena proved to be useful in terms of resources and funding, Bruce was finding her a demanding and difficult task master. Her obsession with her grandson's girlfriend was preventing him from executing his plans for the great Dr. Scorpio.

"The little whore is pregnant."

"Robin?" he asked in shock.

"Not Robin you moronic twit," she chided. "That whore my grandson is keeping. She is pregnant with a Cassadine heir – we need to get our hands on that baby."

"Are you sure she's pregnant?"

"Of course I'm sure" she spat. "My grandson was just here to ensure that I am properly locked up in this asylum – silly boy – he forgets that everyone has a price and I have all the money. My contact at the hospital faxed me her blood tests that were taken after your little debacle."

"Are you sure it's Nikolas'?"

"Though she is a slut and that will never change, I am sure this child is a Cassadine – what better way to sink her gold digging claws into his fortune and my grandson is too simple, too blinded by love, too impressed by her damage to see that."

Bruce sighed silently as she railed against Nathalie – a frequent exercise that bored him. "So what are we to do?" he asked as she finished her rant.

"We are going to make sure that we have the baby – which means you no longer have two months – I want her in my custody within the next two weeks – make it happen Mr. Harris or your precious Robin Scorpio may be suddenly unavailable to you."

Flinching as she slammed the phone down on him, Bruce blew out a long breath and returned to his blueprints. Work was going to have to progress much more quickly if they were going to meet the new deadline.

*****  
The weariness was so deeply embedded in Nathalie that she was tempted, as she walked from the launch to Wyndermere, just to lie down where she was and sleep on the spot. Whatever fight she had was surely gone and she was ready to surrender and sleep for months. Having decided to withdraw her appeal of the custody decision, she had spent the day at the hospital with her daughter – holding her, reading to her, singing to her and just being with her. Dr. Garcia had told her that if Grace continued to progress she would be ready to go home within the next two weeks. But she wouldn't be going home with her mother, she would go to her grandparents who had made it clear in no uncertain terms that they would stop at nothing to wrest control of Nathalie's children from her. Her only comfort was that Oliver would be there too so Grace wouldn't be all alone.

She had dodged several phone calls from Noah. Even more so that Patrick on Nik, he had the ability to see right through her or right in to her and she was too tired, too emotionally bankrupt to talk to him. Talking with Noah would force her to stop, to be honest with how she was feeling and how she was coping and if she did that she was afraid she might never find the strength to go on.

She called Nikolas twice more but wasn't able to reach him. She hoped he would come home soon; she needed him to come home soon. Her reliance on him, while at one time would have been distasteful to her – she was an independent woman after all, depending on another person was to be avoided at all costs – was now what sustained her. And if Nikolas came home then she could melt in to his arms and hear the one thing she needed most – that he loved her.

Alfred opened the door as she climbed the steps. "Good evening Miss Nathalie."

"Hi Alfred – how was your day?" she asked, stepping through the door and removing her coat.

"It was excellent thank you – and Miss Grace? How is she?"  
Nathalie couldn't keep the smile from her face. "She is getting stronger every day Alfred – she was even asking for your cookies today."

The butler's cheeks flushed slightly. "I will" he cleared his throat, "I will make her a batch. You have someone waiting for you in the dining room"

"The dining room?" She rubbed her hands over her face and sighed. She was in jeans and a sweater with barely a stitch of make up on. Whoever was there was just going to have to take her as she was. "Thank you Alfred."

Trudging to the dining room, she pushed open the double doors and froze in place. The light strains of cello music floated through the air and almost every surface was covered with candles casting a soft glow throughout the room. Leaning against the large, mahogany table, dressed in tuxedo and holding a single rose was Nikolas. Nathalie stayed rooted in her spot, staring with her mouth agape.

Bemused by her shock, Nikolas grinned while twirling the rose in his fingers. "Miss me?" Turning her head, she slowly looked around the room and was overwhelmed by the romance of it all. Looking back at Nikolas she blinked several times, unable to process the scene. "Nat?" he called to her, concern rising at her silence.

Hearing her name, she shook her head free of the fog and ran towards him, launching herself in to his arms. Surprised at how tightly she was holding on to him, Nikolas put the flower on the table behind him and rubbed her back. "Hey there" he said softly.

"I left messages all over the world for you" she said quietly in to his shoulder.

"I know but by the time I got them I was already on my way back here and just thought it would be easier to see you in person." Pulling back, he forced her to look at him. "Are you okay?"

She nodded as she gave him a watery smile. "I'm fine – I just missed you."

He captured her lips tenderly, letting his tongue gently trace the outline of her bottom lip before sweeping in to her mouth. It was a quietly, passionate kiss but one that left them breathless nonetheless. "I missed you too" he said as they came up for air.

"Are you okay?" she asked, running her thumbs along his browns, remembering the slightly haunted look to him before he left.

"I am" he smiled. "My grandmother is locked away in an asylum where she can't hurt anyone and I have power of attorney over her – she's out of the way."

"Good – that's good, right?"

"It's very good – on a number of fronts." His hands slid to her waist and he stroked her through her sweater. "It means I don't have to worry about her making a move against you or Lulu. It also means I get to do something I've wanted to do for a while now."

Nathalie rested her head on his shoulder. "What's that?"

Taking her by the hand, he led her to the terrace which was also covered in candles and flowers. He sank to his knees and reaching into his pocket held up a ring. "I get to ask you to marry me. Will you? Marry me?"


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 52

"Will you? Marry me?" Nikolas asked, on bended knee. Everything around Nathalie disappeared except for the man before her – the only sound she could hear was her heart hammering in her chest. His dark eyes danced, his skin glowed and he looked at her with equal parts of hope and love. Her heart filled suddenly and took her breath away. "I know technically you asked me" he said, grinning. "But I'm a little old fashioned and I want to ask you."

She covered her mouth with her hand as her eyes filled with tears. "Of course I'll marry you" she whispered. "I love you so much Nikolas." Pulling him to his feet, she cupped his face and crashed her mouth onto his as tears trickled down her face.

"I love you too" he said as he broke their kiss. His thumb gently pushed the tears aside, grinning. "Can I interest you in a ring?" he asked, holding up the sparkling jewel.

Nathalie gasped as the diamond caught the candlelight. "Nik…it's…."

"It's meant for you" he finished for her. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find something as beautiful and as precious as you are to me?"  
Closing her eyes, Nathalie dropped her head and let his words wash over her. He cupped her chin, tilting her face towards him. Opening her eyes to look at him, her green eyes were nearly translucent with tears. "I just don't have the vocabulary to tell you what you mean to me."

"We don't need words" he said quietly, tracing his fingers over her cheekbones and her mouth. He nipped at her full lips while snaking one arm around her waist and pulling her flush against him. "So - you're going to be my wife…."

She beamed. "I am."

"So can I put the ring on you then?" She nodded, unable to take her eyes from him. Gently taking hold of her left hand, Nikolas slipped the yellow square cut diamond on her finger with the platinum band nestling against her hand. He brought her hand to his lips and dropped a soft kiss on it. "I love my life with you" he said softly. "I love your spirit, the way you laugh and your enormous compassion. If I could have picked the perfect woman for me, she wouldn't come close to you."

Nathalie blushed under the weight of such a strong declaration but gazed lovingly at her fiancé. "I think you better take me to bed" she said seductively. There was so much to tell him but there would be time later to do so.

"I was hoping you would say that." He scooped her into his arms and carried her from the dining room to their bedroom. Nathalie nuzzled at his neck as they climbed the stairs completely adrift in his love for her. She gasped again as he set her down. There was fire burning in the fireplace, music wafting through the air and the bed was covered in rose petals. Nikolas held on to her waist, pressing his lips against her head. "I know you're this really practical person – with solid footing on terra firma - but for one night I want to cover you in grand romantic gestures – overwhelm you with adoration so that you never - ever - question whether you are or you can be loved."

She buried her face in the crook of his neck and breathed in his woodsy scent. "I must have done something very right in my life to have been given you."

"We have a lifetime to explore that" he said quietly.

Nathalie lifted her head and took his lips in her own. Sweeping her tongue into his mouth, she tangled with his - tasting him, joining him. She ran her hands over his chest and shoulders, never tiring of the strength in his body. Relcutantly letting go of his lips, she dipped her head towards his neck. Each kiss on his soft skin more languid than the next. He tilted his head granting her more access while his hands burrowed under her sweater. Her skin was warm and her muscles rippled under his fingers. He moaned softly as her tongue worked the sensitive skin just under his ear. Her hands moved to his buttons, making quick work of them. She pushed his shirt from his shoulders and let it fall away to the floor. Her hands wandered over his skin as though discovering him for the first time. Suddenly gathering her in his arms, he carried her across the room and laid her down in front of the fireplace. He pulled her sweater over her head and tossed it behind him. Burying his head in the valley between her breasts he nipped at her lightly. Reaching behind her, he flicked her bra clasp open, freeing her breasts from their confines. Despite the heat from the fireplace, her nipples pebbled and hardened almost immediately. Nathalie sighed and pushing her hips from the floor, ground against his increasingly more evident arousal. Undoing her jeans, Nikolas pulled them from her legs before running his hands along her lean, strong inner thighs. He traced the outline of her sex through her g-string.

"I missed you, you know" he said softly as his fingers ran figure 8 patterns between her legs.

Her legs parted from his touch and she looked at him through hooded eyes."I missed you too."

"I can feel that" he said, pushing her panties to the side, slipping a finger inside her. She pushed her hips into his hands, urging him to take more. Slipping a second finger inside, he lowered his lips to her breasts and lavished them in kisses. Running her hands through his hair, she lifted a leg and wrapped it around his hip. She whimpered when he removed his fingers but he seized her lips as he removed her underwear. He made his way down the length of her body, his lips leaving a trail of wet, hot kisses. Closing her eyes, Nathalie arched up from the carpet, her body warmed by the fire and Nikolas' attention. She gasped as he licked and sucked at her sensitive nub.

"Oh god Nik" she moaned. He smiled against her skin as his fingers teased her engorged folds. Her hips undulated against him in a silent plea for more attention. He kissed her sex, letting his tongue dive in to her slick channel. Her head flopped from side to side as he tasted her - slowly and patiently. His own need was making itself well known to him but he ignored it as he continued his ministrations. Her walls clenched and opened against first his tongue and then his fingers. "Nik" she pleaded.

"What?" he smiled through hazy eyes at her.

"I want to feel you inside me"

"Not yet baby" he said huskily. "First I want you to come for me."

Spurned on by his voice, her hands went to her breasts, palming them, her fingers pulling on her sensitive nipples. He watched her for a moment - her eyes closed and her head thrown back in the throes of pleasure. He returned to her sex, licking and nipping at her as her hips bucked. His hand stroked the curve of her belly, setting her body alight with a multitude of sensations. Flicking her clit into his mouth, he sucked on it greedily as her orgasm washed over her and she cried out his name. He continued unrelentingly until she was spent. Moving beside her, he stroked her skin as her breathing steadied. He covered her face and neck with tiny staccatto kisses. "I love you so much" he whispered.

"Mmm" she said, stretching her arms over head. "I love you too." Her hand moved to his arousal and she stroked it slowly through his pants. "Don't you think we should do something about that?"

"If you want to" he said huskily, pushing himself further into her hands.

Nathalie unzipped his pants and reaching inside, took hold of his hard on. He inhaled sharply as her hand closed around him. "I love how hard you get for me" she said rolling on to her side. She stroked him as she assaulted his chest with her lips. He twitched in her hand as she worked his length first slowly and then more quickly. She pushed him on to his back and pulled his pants from him, tossing them to the pile of clothing behind them. Straddling him, she lowered herself gasping as he filled her still sensitive body. Her hands wandered over his chest and torso as her lips left trail after trail in their wake; he shuddered as her hips moved against his. Sitting up, he gripped her hips pulling her in closer to him they rocked back and forth; their mouths passionately enjoined. She traced the outline of his face as they moved closer to their climaxes. She pressed her breasts against him, eliciting a hiss in response. Nikolas buried his face in the crook of her neck as his body twitched and trembled before he came hard inside her. Nathalie's entire being shook as she came for a second time. Collapsing back on to the carpet, he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. She dropped a kiss over his heart in return. "My wife to be" he murmured sleepily.

She snuggled in against him, closing her eyes, with her head resting on his chest. "Mmm - husband-to-be." Her eyes flew open as the word 'husband' left her mouth and a cold sweat trickled down her back. Husband. She looked down at the ring on her finger and the way the it sparkled in the amber glow from the fire. She was going to get married - again. And she was pregnant. Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths trying to quell the panic rising in her chest.

"How is Grace?" he asked as he stroked her hair. He had felt her stiffen in his arms and wondered what had run through her head to cause it.

"She's good - we had a good day today. She'll be discharged in a couple of weeks."

"'Anything else happen while I was gone?"

She paused for just a beat. "Not really - it was pretty quiet. My parents are up to their old tricks but let's not sully tonight with them, okay?"

"Sure" They rolled on to their sides, facing the fire. Nikolas pulled a blanket from the couch behind him and draped it over them. Their legs found each, tangling in each other. He nuzzled the back of her neck as she melted into him. "Everything okay with you?"

"Yeah" she whispered, rubbing her tummy absently. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too" he said. He swallowed his disappointment at the knowledge she was lying or at the very least witholding from him. Some time over the next few days he would ask her. He would ask her about the mysterious photo that appeared on his cell phone - the one of her kissing a man in a bar. But not tonight - tonight he wanted only to think about how she was going to be his wife.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 53

Patrick pushed Robin's hair from her face as she slept. She had fallen asleep almost as soon as the plane had taken off and was now nestled against his shoulder with her hand resting on his thigh. As soon as they got back to the hotel Robin packed while Patrick called the airline to change their flight home. They had said little to each other but shared excited glances and small giggles. In bed together, they had held each other closely with his hand on her still flat belly. It didn't matter to him that their child was the size of a peanut -their child was there and it would only be a matter of months before they would meet him or her. His heart had expanded yet again as soon as Robin had announced she was pregnant again.

_"We're having another baby, baby." _

The words continued to bring a smile to his face. It had only been slightly more than a year that he and Robin had been together but his life had taken a complete 180 in that time. Everything in his life had come together and he no longer questioned his purpose. Loving Robin had revealed his path to him and he really and truly loved his life. Before Robin, before Rian, he loved his work and really liked parts of his life but now he was content and at peace. He pressed his lips into her forehead. There was just no way of knowing that such a small person would have such a force of personality.

Bleary-eyed, they cleared customs and collected their bags. They took a taxi straight to the hospital not wanting to wait a minute longer to see Dr. Maida. Robin's happiness was slightly muted as she still feared that she may have exposed her husband to HIV and there was nothing he could say or do to asuage her fears. The fear at having exposed him the first time never truly left her and had been the only cause of reticence at having a second child. Her first pregnancy was not as joyful as it could have been with the spectre of Bruce hanging over them and then the accident that resulted in Rian being born prematurely. She rubbed her belly and made a silent wish for history not to repeat itself.

Patrick paced from one end of the small exam room to the other while Robin munched on soda crackers in an attempt to keep her nausea at bay. "You're making me dizzy" she teased as he crossed the floor for the umpteenth time.

He smiled as he looked up at her. "I'm making myself dizzy. What's taking him so long?"

"I don't know" Robin said innocently. "Maybe it's because this was his day off but yet you still had Epiphany phone him and berate him in to coming in."

"He's our doctor" he protested.

"Yes" she said slowly, loving her husband's singular focus. "But there are several other specialists on staff who could run the tests for us."

"I don't want other specialists, I want him" he whined.

"Ask and you shall receive" Dr. Maida said coming in to the exam room. "Nice to see you both."

"Michael, I really hope we didn't pull you away from anything too important" Robin said apologetically.

"Just doing some stuff around the house" he smiled. "So - you took a home pregnancy test and it was positive."

"Three" Patrick said.

"Pardon?" Dr. Maida asked.

"Three - she took three home pregnancy tests and they were all positive."

"Well actually I took four" Robin corrected. "The first one was negative."

Holding up his hands and shaking his head, Dr. Maida sank to the stool. "No mas" he joked. "Let me see if I understand this - you took one pregnancy test and it was negative but three subsequent tests were positive."

"Yes." Robin confirmed. "But I'm worried that Patrick has been exposed and that it wasn't the a.i that resulted in the pregnancy but a faulty condom."

Flipping open the file, he reviewed her chart. "Did you have intercourse during your ovulation?"

"No" Patrick answered quickly.

"Then it was the aritifical insemination."

"But the first test, a week ago, was negative" Robin continued. Her concern for Patrick was still at the forefront of her mind.

"Well" the doctor said gently. "If you had come in to see me after the first test, I could have run another and it likely would have confirmed then that you were pregnant. Home tests are about 95% accurate but it's not unusual for a false negative."

"Oh" Robin said sheepishly.

"I think you should ask the Sorbonne for your money back" Patrick teased gently, kissing her forehead. Robin swatted at him playfully. "So what's next?"

Dr. Maida made several notations in the file. "The lab is rushing the test results back which I expect will confirm what your previous three home tests have said. I'll give you a presecription for a new protocol for the first trimester and we'll book some follow up appointments." He closed the filed and looked at both of them. "I need to remind you both that it will be normal for Robin's viral load to rise slightly during the pregnancy - it's an extra stress on her body and the new protocol will throw things for a bit of a loop - but that being said, it should level off and all other things being equal there is no reason for you not to have a healthy and happy pregnancy."

"What about her blood pressure issues last time?" Patrick asked as his thumb moved in tiny, soothing circles along Robin's palm.

"Impossible to predict" he said "but we'll monitor it closely and if it flares up we will move quickly to deal with it. And Robin" he said looking pointedly at her, "that could mean anything from stopping work to bed rest."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll be a good girl, I promise."

"Uh-huh - your work ethic is legendary in this place - I have my ear to the ground."

Robin smiled and rolled her eyes. "Who knew you were such a gossip lover?"

Their conversation was interrupted by Epiphany entering the room with Robin's test results. She smiled at her colleague as she handed them to Dr. Maida. "Here you go Doctor."

"Thank you Epiphany"

"Yes thanks Epiphany" Patrick said, flashing his dimple at the nurse. Frowning, she cuffed him on the back of the head. "Hey!" he exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head. "What was that for?"

"Making me call this poor man in on his day off because you think your wife is the first woman on the planet to be pregnant. I'll be reminding you of this next time some patient needs you on a day off." Robin bit her cheek in attempt to stiffle her giggles.

"But..."

"Don't but me boy" she said. "Dr.I want what I want when I want it" she grumbled. She gave Robin's arm a quick squeeze as she left the room.

"She loves me" Patrick sniffed as the door closed.

"And sometimes love hurts" Robin teased.

Dr. Maida shook his head. "You two." He reviewed the results in front of him and looked up smiling. "Congratulations - you are in fact pregnant."

Robin squealed and threw her arms around her husband. "It's really happening."

Patrick nipped at her lips. "I love you" he whispered against her mouth. "Just in case you had any doubt."

"Never" she whispered back.

Standing up, Dr. Maida pulled out his prescription pad and scribbling quickly passed three sheets to Robin. "Here you go."

Taking them, Robin scanned them making note of the drugs and what she knew about them already. "Thanks Michael."

"Start on those today and I'd like to see you in a week to run a blood panel."

"Thanks for coming in" Patrick said extending his hand.

"Congratulations again" he said shaking it before leaving them to their celebration.

"What do you want to do?" Patrick asked, sucking on Robin's ear lobe.

Tilting her head to the side, she sighed in relief as her hand ran over his shoulder. "I want to go get our son and tell him he's going to have a little brother."

"Sister" Patrick corrected.

"Oh come on" she groaned.

"I know - it's a girl."

"You got lucky last time"

"I get lucky every time" he teased kissing her neck.

"It's a boy - I'm the mother and I know these things."

Pulling away from her, Patrick stared lovingly in to her eyes. "Wanna bet?"

"Fine" she said as her brown eyes danced.  
"If I'm right - which of course, I will be, I want you to take me and our children to Paris and show us where you lived and tell us about your life while you were there."

Robin's eyes teared up. "Really?"

"Really."

She kissed him gently, sucking on his lower lip before pulling away. "And WHEN I'm right - I want you to rent us a house in Hawaii for a month and invite our parents and our friends to come and celebrate with us."

"Fine" he replied quickly.

"Fine?"

"Sure" he shrugged. "Great idea, it's just never going to happen because I'm right."

"Whatever - you have no clue" she dismissed. "Let's go get our son."

************  
Nikolas pulled his robe tightly around him as he walked to the kitchen. Jet lag having disrupted his sleep, he had stolen quietly from the bed, taking care not to wake Nathalie. He had watched her sleep for a while - touched that she had refused to remove her ring even to sleep - there was a peace that came to her face only when she slept and it was one of his favourite things about her. In the few pictures she had shown him of her life before him, that peace existed then as well. He was resolute that he would bring that back to her. Yawning, he flipped on the lights in the kitchen.

"When did you get back?"

Rubbing his eyes, he was surprised to see his sister sitting on the counter eating ice cream from the container. "Lulu"

"Mint chocolate chip?" she asked, offering the container to him. Shrugging, Nikolas hopped up on the counter beside her. Relieving her of her spoon, he dug out a large spoonful and popped it in his mouth. "Everything okay with psychogranny?"

He nodded, swallowing the ice cream. "She is securely locked away at a facility. I've paid them a huge sum of money and that should keep her under control. What's new with you?"

"Ethan's upstairs" she said, taking the spoon back to scoop out another helping.

"Oh god, Lu - seriously - I'm not ready to hear about you having sex" he teased.

Furrowing her brow, she looked at her brother. "That's not what I meant - I mean after the debacle with his father and Nathalie's appeal, he came here."

Nikolas turned to look at his sister. "What do you mean the debacle with his father and Nathalie's appeal?"

Suddenly aware that Nathalie may not have brought her brother up to speed on what happend while he was away, she attempted to change the subject. "So were you in Greece?"

He took the spoon from her, helping himself to more ice cream. "That was not even close to being subtle. What happened?"

"Didn't Nathalie tell you?"

He shook his head. "It's possible she wanted to but I may have distracted her."

"Oh god, Nik - seriously - I don't need to hear about you having sex."

He grinned at her. "I asked her to marry me."

"REALLY?" Lulu squealed. "Oh my god!! Oh my god!! What did she say?"

Smiling shyly, he looked over at his sister. "She said yes."

The ice cream forgotten, Lulu threw her arms around her brother and hugged him tightly. "I am SO happy for you Nikolas."

"Thanks" he said, squeezing her back. "Me too."

"She's lucky to have you" she said seriously.

"It goes both ways."  
Letting go of her brother, Lulu couldn't keep from grinning. "Nathalie and Nikolas sitting in a tree......k-i-s-s-i-n-g - first comes love, then comes marriage then comes another niece or nephew for Lulu to play with."

"You'd like that, would you?" he grinned back at her.

"I would" she nodded. "Though holy full house - Spencer, Grace, Oliver and another little one - we could open a daycare."

"Well I hope we can help you out with that soon" he said cheerfully.

Lulu slipped down from the counter and hugged her brother again. "I should get back upstairs but I am so so happy for you Nik - you deserve this."

"Thanks Lu" he said kissing the side of her head. He watched her bounce from the kitchen before picking up the ice cream and digging the spoon in. His mind drifted back to Lulu's comments about Ethan's father and Nathalie's appeal - apparently a lot of things happened in the short time he was away and Nathalie had told him none of it. Every time he was confident he had shattered the last of Nathalie's walls he came across another. He sighed as he wondered how many more were left and if she would ever truly let him in.

********  
Bruce pulled on the chains to ensure they were securely attached. Despite using almost all of his force, he was unable to make them budge and if he couldn't do it then there was no way either of his guests would be able to. Looking around the room, he pushed the two beds further apart; the last thing he needed was the two of them bonding or taking strength from each other. If his captivity courtesy of Robert Scorpio had taught him anything, besides the value of psychological terror, it was that it was important to be prepared.

The room was soundproof and there were no windows. Escape through the only door would be near impossible as the guests would have no idea just how far underground they really were. Madame wanted the plan moved up and he had moved heaven and earth to make sure it all came together. With everything in place the only thing remaining was to pick an appropriate time and place to make his move.

Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out his wallet and retrieved the small photo from it. His finger stroked over the familiar face, pausing on her lips.

"Soon Robin - very soon."


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 54

Patrick held Rian by the hands as his son took one wobbly step after another. Oblivious to the drool running down his chin from the new teeth coming in, his little face was the picture of concentration as he did his best to master walking. He snapped his head up at the sound of the doorbell and then looked at his father.

"What do you think sport? Should we go see who it is?" Picking him up, Patrick carried him to the door and was surprised to see Nikolas standing on his front step. "Hey" he said, letting Nikolas in.

"Hi Patrick. Hello Rian" he said, running a finger along the baby's chubby cheeks.

"Robin isn't here right now," Patrick said by way of apology.

"Um - actually - I came to see you." Suddenly nervous, Nikolas wondered if he was making a mistake.

"Me?" he asked in surprise. "Okay - come on in." Nikolas hung up his coat and followed Rian and Patrick in to the kitchen. "Can I get you a coffee? I just made a pot."

"Sure" he said, taking Rian from Patrick. Sitting down, he bounced Rian on his knee admiring his resemblence to both parents. A happy baby, Rian giggled and gurgled as Nikolas made faces at him.

"Nice face on you" Patrick teased as he placed a mug of steaming coffee in front of him.

His cheeks flushed slightly. Despite his many efforts to loosen up, there would always be a part of him ruled by formality and the maners of civil society. "How was Italy?"

"It was good - we saw a lot of the ..er...sights. I didn't get to sightsee much the last time I was there."

"Ah." Nikolas smiled knowingly. "And Brenda?"

Patrick shrugged. "She's pretty busy with work but I think she's really just trying to figure out how to come back here."  
"For your dad?"

Patrick nodded. Studying Nikolas' face, he noticed the distraction in his eyes. "So what brings you by?"

Smiling weakly, he realized it was better to dive in than beat around the bush. "Nathalie."

"Has something happened to her? I was going to call her this morning but I haven't had a chance."

"She's at the hospital" he said rubbing Rian's back. "She's fine - or at least I think she is."

Patrick gave him a curious look. "Are you guys having problems?"

"I don't know" he said honestly. "But I need to ask you something."

"You can ask me anything" Patrick said carefully, "so long as you understand that my first loyalty is to Nat."

He nodded, smiling. "I would expect nothing less." Fishing his cell phone from his pocket, he flipped it open and scrolled down to the photo that had mysteriously appeared in his inbox. "Do you know who this is?" he asked, passing the phone to Patrick.

Patrick swallowed thickly as he looked at the photo. "It's Drew."

"That's what I thought too" Nikolas said "but look at her hair - she told me she never had short hair before."

Taking a second look, a cold sweat trickled down his back. Nikolas was right, Nathalie had never had short hair when she was with Drew and so if she wasn't kissing her now dead husband, then the man in the photo could only be one other person. "Who sent this to you?" he asked as he handed the phone back to Nikolas.

"It's not Drew, is it?"

"Who sent you the photo Nik?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I tried to trace the number but nothing came of it. Patrick, it's clear to me that you know who that man is - I need you to tell me."

"What did Nathalie say when you asked her?"

"I haven't asked her" he said quietly.

"Why not?" Patrick narrowed his eyes. He was unsure of Nikolas' intentions but they were making him uneasy. The knots in his stomach that had appeared in Italy had followed him home.

"Because I need to know what I'm dealing with" Nikolas said more sharply than he intended. "There are landmines all around her and if I don't tread carefully I'm going to blow us up."

Patrick's face softened slightly. "Nathalie is not a cheater" he said quietly.

"Patrick - who is this guy?"

Patrick sighed heavily and took a now fussing Rian from Nikolas and paced the kitchen floor with him. "There is a guy who has been at the hospital a few times who is the spitting image of Drew - Nathalie has run in to him a few times and I guess he is the guy in the photo."

Nikolas' brown eyes flashed with fury. "What? There is a man wandering around looking like her dead husband?"

"Nik..." Patrick started.

"God - how many more secrets is this woman going to keep from me?"

"What?" He rubbed Rian's back. "What other secrets?"

"She withdrew her appeal"

"Why? What for?"

"I don't know - she hasn't actually told me."

Patrick inhaled sharply. "I'm sure she is going to -"  
Nikolas shook his head. "She doesn't trust me Patrick - if she did, she would have told me..."

"Nik, I have known her for a long time and believe me when I tell you that she trusts you - it's not a natural state for her - but she trusts you."

He shook his head again. "I asked her to marry me last night." Patrick's eyes widened in shock. "And I want her to be my wife but what kind of life are we going to have if she won't tell me things?"

"Hold that thought" Patrick said as he realized Rian had fallen asleep in his arms. He carried his son upstairs and gently placed him in his crib. Tucking a blanket around him, he dropped a kiss on his head. "Love you little man" he whispered. Running his hands over his face, he slowly made his way back to the kitchen. "You asked her to marry you?" he asked walking back in to the kitchen.

"She asked me first" Nikolas said and noticing Patrick's look of confusion, just smiled. "Long story. Anyway - I needed to go and deal with a few issues before we could really take that step. I got back last night and proposed."

"Wait." Patrick held up his hands. "You got back last night and proposed and now you're upset that she hasn't told you what happened while you were away?" Nikolas nodded. "Nik - it's possible - even likely - that she was going to tell you but got sidetracked by your proposal."

Sighing, Nikolas slumped against the chair. "She said nothing this morning - you would think if she was going around kissing another man, she might tell me."

Leaning against the counter, he jammed his hands in his pockets. It was clear there was a lot going on with his friend that he didn't know about. He had been so cocooned in his happiness over propsect of a second baby that he hadn't been paying attention. "Nik -whoever sent you that photo is trying to hurt you or Nat or both of you - it could be her parents - your crazy grandmother whatever. Maybe the photo is doctored - maybe she never kissed another man and that's why she hasn't said anything, because there's nothing to say."

Relief washed over Nikolas' face. "Of course" he said convincingly. "Of course - it's a doctored photo - an old photo of Drew and a new photo of Nat to try and create doubt." He shook his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry Patrick - I didn't mean to be quite so....I don't know, paranoid?"

"She loves you Nikolas."

"I know."

Arching an eyebrow, Patrick looked at him carefully. "But?"

"But I feel like she always has one foot out the door, ready to bolt."

Patrick nodded - well aware of that feeling, except he had always been the one ready to bolt. "She's agreed to marry you - I think she may have both feet in the same room."

Nikolas extended his hand. "Thank you for listening to me."

Shaking his hand, Patrick smiled warmly at him. "Anytime. Congratulations - Nathalie is getting a good man in you."

*****  
Robin stared at her computer screen in frustration. She had spent the last two hours trying to complete a grant proposal for a new research project but the words just wouldn't come. She had walked the hospital halls, visited the nursery and sucked back three cups of decaf coffee. Not even a fudge mocha bar could get the writing juices flowing. Picking up the nerf football Patrick had given her to relieve stress, she threw it across the room.

"Nice arm - I think the Giants could use you at QB."

Giggling, Robin looked up at the door. "And see your son would have said I throw like a girl."

"Well so does Eli Manning so that works." Noah walked in to her office and sat down. "How are you?"

"I'm good" she smiled brightly. "I'd be better if I could write anything more than 'the objective of this proposal is'."

"How are you feeling this morning?"

She nodded. "Not too badly - morning sickness came and went early today so that's good."

"I am so pleased for you - for both of you."

Robin's hand instinctively went to her stomach. "Me too," she said. "And I have every confidence this pregnancy will be very different from the last one."

Noah smiled warmly at her. "You're already glowing."

"I think that's the jetlag" she demurred. "Or the three cups of decaf. Have I mentioned I hate decaf?"

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he opened his mouth several times to speak but shut it quickly.

"Noah?" Robin asked looking at her father-in-law curiously. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" he nodded. "I..uh...I should let you get back to work." He stood up, ready to walk to the door.

A lightbulb went off over Robin's head and she smiled at him. "Would you like to know how Brenda is?"

"Would you think less of me if I said yes?" he asked slightly embarrassed.

"Not at all" she said softly. "Please sit"

Noah sank in to the chair. He hated that he was so desperate to hear news of Brenda that he sought out his daughter-in-law as if to pass her a note in study hall but ever since their two phone calls, she had haunted his thoughts, waking and sleeping, more than she had before. "How...how is she?"

"She's okay" Robin said carefully "but not great. It's clear to me that she misses you terribly."

"You don't have to spare my feelings Robin." He wanted to believe her but at the same time was afraid to do so.

"I'm not. She misses you Noah - there's no two ways about it."

"But she's okay, right? She's healthy and work is okay?"

Robin nodded. "Physically she's fine. Emotionally she's a mess."

Noah gave a wry smile. "Yet another thing we have in common."

"No one has ever loved her like you have. Sonny was this great, fiery love but they hurt each other almost as much, if not more, than they loved each other. And Jax - Jax loved her but everything with Jax was big - grand gestures, big declarations. You are the first man in her life Noah who just loved her without......without expectation. It is what she needs most but like most of us - what we need the most also scares us the most."

Letting go of a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, he smiled at his daughter-in-law. "Thank you for that."

"I hope you know that I'm not saying it just to be kind - I believe it. You are exactly the type of man I would pick for her." He smiled appreciatively. "Don't give up on her yet - she may have to take the long way to get here but I know Brenda and even as we speak, she's trying to make her way back to you."

He blinked several times to keep his tears at bay. Talking about Brenda made his chest tighten and his pulse race. It was not possible to love two people the same way and while she would never be the great love that Mattie was he still loved her. He loved her with everything he had, in the here and now - he loved her fully and completely. There would be no moving on for him - Brenda was it for him. If she couldn't or wouldn't come back to him then he would find a way to make peace with that but he would also be done - there would be no third attempt at love. Loves like Mattie and Brenda came along rarely and two chances at it were more than some people ever had. Standing up, he walked to Robin and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you" he whispered.

"Anytime" she smiled lovingly at him.

"Take good care of my granddaughter" he teased.

Robin groaned and threw her pen on the desk. "Es-tu Noah? Taking your son's side?"

He grinned. "We Drake men are very smart when it comes to predicting the sex of babies. I hope you didn't bet anything you can't afford to lose."

Robin rubbed her belly. "You hear that baby boy? Your grandpa Noah has already lost his marbles."

Noah laughed, giving her a small wave as he left her office.

******  
Nikolas walked the now familiar halls of the pediatric oncology ward. He had thought himself weak for seeking reassurance from Patrick but his reassurances had put his mind at ease and now all he wanted to do was see his fiancee and her daughter. Every woman he had loved had been taken from him in one way or another and he was not prepared to allow that to happen with Nathalie. Despite the dramas and trials that had faced her from the beginning, she had managed to open him up, allowing him to live more fully than he had before. She often told him what a gift he was to her but she too was a gift. Her presence in his life had wrought so much goodness that he sometimes wondered if he should pinch himself. He never did though, he really didn't want to know if he was dreaming or not. Turning the corner to Gracie's room, he stopped short.

"Hi Nathalie"

About to enter her daughter's room, she looked up at the sound of her name. "Oh hi..."

"Anthony" he said charmingly and pleased that the GHB had had the desired effect.

"Right" she smiled sheepishly "Anthony. Sorry about that, I'm normally much better with names."

"That's okay. I'm sure your mind is on other things."

As disarming as his smile was, Nathalie felt her body tense. She struggled to figure out the source of her discomfort knowing that it went beyond his resemblance to Drew. "It's been a bit of busy time" she admitted. "Remind me again - who are you here to see?"

"My niece" he said smoothly.

The hair on the back of her neck stood up but yet again the reason for it seemed just out of reach. "How is she?"

"Still very weak. How is Grace?"

Nathalie shivered. She had no recollection of having shared Grace's name with him yet couldn't say definitively that she hadn't. "She's doing much better, thanks."

Spying the large yellow diamon on her finger, Anthony reached for her hand. "My goodness - this is quite a ring."

She smiled warmly as the memory of Nikolas' proposal came flooding back. "It's from my fiance."

"Wow. Congratulations." Anthony moved towards her to kiss her on the cheek. A sudden movement from the corner of his eye stopped him but he was still taken by surprise when a fist came smashing into his face.

"I don't know what your game is but stay the hell away from her" Nikolas seethed as Anthony lay sprawled on the floor. He rubbed his jaw and smirked. Everything was unfolding better than he could have hoped for.

"Nikolas!" Nathalie said in shock. "What have you done?"


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 54

Patrick held Rian by the hands as his son took one wobbly step after another. Oblivious to the drool running down his chin from the new teeth coming in, his little face was the picture of concentration as he did his best to master walking. He snapped his head up at the sound of the doorbell and then looked at his father.

"What do you think sport? Should we go see who it is?" Picking him up, Patrick carried him to the door and was surprised to see Nikolas standing on his front step. "Hey" he said, letting Nikolas in.

"Hi Patrick. Hello Rian" he said, running a finger along the baby's chubby cheeks.

"Robin isn't here right now," Patrick said by way of apology.

"Um - actually - I came to see you." Suddenly nervous, Nikolas wondered if he was making a mistake.

"Me?" he asked in surprise. "Okay - come on in." Nikolas hung up his coat and followed Rian and Patrick in to the kitchen. "Can I get you a coffee? I just made a pot."

"Sure" he said, taking Rian from Patrick. Sitting down, he bounced Rian on his knee admiring his resemblence to both parents. A happy baby, Rian giggled and gurgled as Nikolas made faces at him.

"Nice face on you" Patrick teased as he placed a mug of steaming coffee in front of him.

His cheeks flushed slightly. Despite his many efforts to loosen up, there would always be a part of him ruled by formality and the maners of civil society. "How was Italy?"

"It was good - we saw a lot of the ..er...sights. I didn't get to sightsee much the last time I was there."

"Ah." Nikolas smiled knowingly. "And Brenda?"

Patrick shrugged. "She's pretty busy with work but I think she's really just trying to figure out how to come back here."  
"For your dad?"

Patrick nodded. Studying Nikolas' face, he noticed the distraction in his eyes. "So what brings you by?"

Smiling weakly, he realized it was better to dive in than beat around the bush. "Nathalie."

"Has something happened to her? I was going to call her this morning but I haven't had a chance."

"She's at the hospital" he said rubbing Rian's back. "She's fine - or at least I think she is."

Patrick gave him a curious look. "Are you guys having problems?"

"I don't know" he said honestly. "But I need to ask you something."

"You can ask me anything" Patrick said carefully, "so long as you understand that my first loyalty is to Nat."

He nodded, smiling. "I would expect nothing less." Fishing his cell phone from his pocket, he flipped it open and scrolled down to the photo that had mysteriously appeared in his inbox. "Do you know who this is?" he asked, passing the phone to Patrick.

Patrick swallowed thickly as he looked at the photo. "It's Drew."

"That's what I thought too" Nikolas said "but look at her hair - she told me she never had short hair before."

Taking a second look, a cold sweat trickled down his back. Nikolas was right, Nathalie had never had short hair when she was with Drew and so if she wasn't kissing her now dead husband, then the man in the photo could only be one other person. "Who sent this to you?" he asked as he handed the phone back to Nikolas.

"It's not Drew, is it?"

"Who sent you the photo Nik?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I tried to trace the number but nothing came of it. Patrick, it's clear to me that you know who that man is - I need you to tell me."

"What did Nathalie say when you asked her?"

"I haven't asked her" he said quietly.

"Why not?" Patrick narrowed his eyes. He was unsure of Nikolas' intentions but they were making him uneasy. The knots in his stomach that had appeared in Italy had followed him home.

"Because I need to know what I'm dealing with" Nikolas said more sharply than he intended. "There are landmines all around her and if I don't tread carefully I'm going to blow us up."

Patrick's face softened slightly. "Nathalie is not a cheater" he said quietly.

"Patrick - who is this guy?"

Patrick sighed heavily and took a now fussing Rian from Nikolas and paced the kitchen floor with him. "There is a guy who has been at the hospital a few times who is the spitting image of Drew - Nathalie has run in to him a few times and I guess he is the guy in the photo."

Nikolas' brown eyes flashed with fury. "What? There is a man wandering around looking like her dead husband?"

"Nik..." Patrick started.

"God - how many more secrets is this woman going to keep from me?"

"What?" He rubbed Rian's back. "What other secrets?"

"She withdrew her appeal"

"Why? What for?"

"I don't know - she hasn't actually told me."

Patrick inhaled sharply. "I'm sure she is going to -"  
Nikolas shook his head. "She doesn't trust me Patrick - if she did, she would have told me..."

"Nik, I have known her for a long time and believe me when I tell you that she trusts you - it's not a natural state for her - but she trusts you."

He shook his head again. "I asked her to marry me last night." Patrick's eyes widened in shock. "And I want her to be my wife but what kind of life are we going to have if she won't tell me things?"

"Hold that thought" Patrick said as he realized Rian had fallen asleep in his arms. He carried his son upstairs and gently placed him in his crib. Tucking a blanket around him, he dropped a kiss on his head. "Love you little man" he whispered. Running his hands over his face, he slowly made his way back to the kitchen. "You asked her to marry you?" he asked walking back in to the kitchen.

"She asked me first" Nikolas said and noticing Patrick's look of confusion, just smiled. "Long story. Anyway - I needed to go and deal with a few issues before we could really take that step. I got back last night and proposed."

"Wait." Patrick held up his hands. "You got back last night and proposed and now you're upset that she hasn't told you what happened while you were away?" Nikolas nodded. "Nik - it's possible - even likely - that she was going to tell you but got sidetracked by your proposal."

Sighing, Nikolas slumped against the chair. "She said nothing this morning - you would think if she was going around kissing another man, she might tell me."

Leaning against the counter, he jammed his hands in his pockets. It was clear there was a lot going on with his friend that he didn't know about. He had been so cocooned in his happiness over propsect of a second baby that he hadn't been paying attention. "Nik -whoever sent you that photo is trying to hurt you or Nat or both of you - it could be her parents - your crazy grandmother whatever. Maybe the photo is doctored - maybe she never kissed another man and that's why she hasn't said anything, because there's nothing to say."

Relief washed over Nikolas' face. "Of course" he said convincingly. "Of course - it's a doctored photo - an old photo of Drew and a new photo of Nat to try and create doubt." He shook his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry Patrick - I didn't mean to be quite so....I don't know, paranoid?"

"She loves you Nikolas."

"I know."

Arching an eyebrow, Patrick looked at him carefully. "But?"

"But I feel like she always has one foot out the door, ready to bolt."

Patrick nodded - well aware of that feeling, except he had always been the one ready to bolt. "She's agreed to marry you - I think she may have both feet in the same room."

Nikolas extended his hand. "Thank you for listening to me."

Shaking his hand, Patrick smiled warmly at him. "Anytime. Congratulations - Nathalie is getting a good man in you."

*****  
Robin stared at her computer screen in frustration. She had spent the last two hours trying to complete a grant proposal for a new research project but the words just wouldn't come. She had walked the hospital halls, visited the nursery and sucked back three cups of decaf coffee. Not even a fudge mocha bar could get the writing juices flowing. Picking up the nerf football Patrick had given her to relieve stress, she threw it across the room.

"Nice arm - I think the Giants could use you at QB."

Giggling, Robin looked up at the door. "And see your son would have said I throw like a girl."

"Well so does Eli Manning so that works." Noah walked in to her office and sat down. "How are you?"

"I'm good" she smiled brightly. "I'd be better if I could write anything more than 'the objective of this proposal is'."

"How are you feeling this morning?"

She nodded. "Not too badly - morning sickness came and went early today so that's good."

"I am so pleased for you - for both of you."

Robin's hand instinctively went to her stomach. "Me too," she said. "And I have every confidence this pregnancy will be very different from the last one."

Noah smiled warmly at her. "You're already glowing."

"I think that's the jetlag" she demurred. "Or the three cups of decaf. Have I mentioned I hate decaf?"

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he opened his mouth several times to speak but shut it quickly.

"Noah?" Robin asked looking at her father-in-law curiously. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" he nodded. "I..uh...I should let you get back to work." He stood up, ready to walk to the door.

A lightbulb went off over Robin's head and she smiled at him. "Would you like to know how Brenda is?"

"Would you think less of me if I said yes?" he asked slightly embarrassed.

"Not at all" she said softly. "Please sit"

Noah sank in to the chair. He hated that he was so desperate to hear news of Brenda that he sought out his daughter-in-law as if to pass her a note in study hall but ever since their two phone calls, she had haunted his thoughts, waking and sleeping, more than she had before. "How...how is she?"

"She's okay" Robin said carefully "but not great. It's clear to me that she misses you terribly."

"You don't have to spare my feelings Robin." He wanted to believe her but at the same time was afraid to do so.

"I'm not. She misses you Noah - there's no two ways about it."

"But she's okay, right? She's healthy and work is okay?"

Robin nodded. "Physically she's fine. Emotionally she's a mess."

Noah gave a wry smile. "Yet another thing we have in common."

"No one has ever loved her like you have. Sonny was this great, fiery love but they hurt each other almost as much, if not more, than they loved each other. And Jax - Jax loved her but everything with Jax was big - grand gestures, big declarations. You are the first man in her life Noah who just loved her without......without expectation. It is what she needs most but like most of us - what we need the most also scares us the most."

Letting go of a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, he smiled at his daughter-in-law. "Thank you for that."

"I hope you know that I'm not saying it just to be kind - I believe it. You are exactly the type of man I would pick for her." He smiled appreciatively. "Don't give up on her yet - she may have to take the long way to get here but I know Brenda and even as we speak, she's trying to make her way back to you."

He blinked several times to keep his tears at bay. Talking about Brenda made his chest tighten and his pulse race. It was not possible to love two people the same way and while she would never be the great love that Mattie was he still loved her. He loved her with everything he had, in the here and now - he loved her fully and completely. There would be no moving on for him - Brenda was it for him. If she couldn't or wouldn't come back to him then he would find a way to make peace with that but he would also be done - there would be no third attempt at love. Loves like Mattie and Brenda came along rarely and two chances at it were more than some people ever had. Standing up, he walked to Robin and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you" he whispered.

"Anytime" she smiled lovingly at him.

"Take good care of my granddaughter" he teased.

Robin groaned and threw her pen on the desk. "Es-tu Noah? Taking your son's side?"

He grinned. "We Drake men are very smart when it comes to predicting the sex of babies. I hope you didn't bet anything you can't afford to lose."

Robin rubbed her belly. "You hear that baby boy? Your grandpa Noah has already lost his marbles."

Noah laughed, giving her a small wave as he left her office.

******  
Nikolas walked the now familiar halls of the pediatric oncology ward. He had thought himself weak for seeking reassurance from Patrick but his reassurances had put his mind at ease and now all he wanted to do was see his fiancee and her daughter. Every woman he had loved had been taken from him in one way or another and he was not prepared to allow that to happen with Nathalie. Despite the dramas and trials that had faced her from the beginning, she had managed to open him up, allowing him to live more fully than he had before. She often told him what a gift he was to her but she too was a gift. Her presence in his life had wrought so much goodness that he sometimes wondered if he should pinch himself. He never did though, he really didn't want to know if he was dreaming or not. Turning the corner to Gracie's room, he stopped short.

"Hi Nathalie"

About to enter her daughter's room, she looked up at the sound of her name. "Oh hi..."

"Anthony" he said charmingly and pleased that the GHB had had the desired effect.

"Right" she smiled sheepishly "Anthony. Sorry about that, I'm normally much better with names."

"That's okay. I'm sure your mind is on other things."

As disarming as his smile was, Nathalie felt her body tense. She struggled to figure out the source of her discomfort knowing that it went beyond his resemblance to Drew. "It's been a bit of busy time" she admitted. "Remind me again - who are you here to see?"

"My niece" he said smoothly.

The hair on the back of her neck stood up but yet again the reason for it seemed just out of reach. "How is she?"

"Still very weak. How is Grace?"

Nathalie shivered. She had no recollection of having shared Grace's name with him yet couldn't say definitively that she hadn't. "She's doing much better, thanks."

Spying the large yellow diamon on her finger, Anthony reached for her hand. "My goodness - this is quite a ring."

She smiled warmly as the memory of Nikolas' proposal came flooding back. "It's from my fiance."

"Wow. Congratulations." Anthony moved towards her to kiss her on the cheek. A sudden movement from the corner of his eye stopped him but he was still taken by surprise when a fist came smashing into his face.

"I don't know what your game is but stay the hell away from her" Nikolas seethed as Anthony lay sprawled on the floor. He rubbed his jaw and smirked. Everything was unfolding better than he could have hoped for.

"Nikolas!" Nathalie said in shock. "What have you done?"


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 55

"Get up you sonofabitch - get up!" Nikolas hissed.

Anthony scrambled to his feet. "Are you out of your mind?"

Nikolas grabbed him by the shirt, hurling him up against the wall. "You are not to come within 100 feet of her or her kids, do you understand me?" His eyes were black with rage and his body shook.

"Dude! Let me go!" he said, struggling against Nikolas' grip.

Nathalie pulled on Nikolas' shoulder. "Nikolas! BACK OFF! Let him GO!"

"Do you understand me?" he repeated, ignoring Nathalie's attempts to pull him away.

"Yes fine, I understand" Anthony said, doing his best to play the injured party. It took all of his self control not to smirk in the young prince's face, knowing the havoc he was about to bring.

"You stay the hell away from her" he spat before letting him go.

Nathalie moved towards him as he smoothed down his shirt. "Anthony, I am so sorry" she said apologetically.

He shook his head. "It's fine - I didn't realize you had such a jealous boyfriend. I won't be bothering you again." He lowered his head and slinked away.

As Nathalie turned to face him, Nikolas was surprised to see the fury etched across her face. "Just what the hell was that all about?" she seethed.

"I could ask you the same thing" he said, his own anger showing no sign of abating. "What were you doing with him?"

"Doing?" she spat. "Doing? I was TALKING to him Nikolas." Attempts to keep her voice low were not very successful and they received several dirty looks from nurses.

"He was trying to kiss you" Nikolas accused.

"He was CONGRATULATING me" she corrected. "He saw my ring" she flashed it at him, "and wanted to wish me well."

"How do you even know him?" Nikolas' body trembled still in anger.

"He has a niece in this ward - what in the world got in to you? I never took you for the cave man type."

"And I never took you for the unfaithful type."

Nathalie stepped back as though she had been slapped. "Unfaithful?" she repeated as the colour drained from her cheeks.

"At what point were you going to tell me that you had been spending time with a man who looks like your DEAD husband? Maybe after we get married? Or are you just biding your time with me until you can figure out if the doppleganger is free?" Nikolas knew he was crossing lines as the words left his mouth but his fear at losing Nathalie was too great. His rage was total and now that it had been unleashed he didn't know how to reign it in.

Her chest constricted and her mouth dropped open as the air left her body. "You....you....I....I love you" she said in bewilderment. "You are the only one I want to be with."

"Really."

Anthony poked his head around the corner, pleased at the scene unfolding before him.

"Yes really." There was a pleading in her eyes, silently begging Nikolas not to take them somewhere they could not return from.

"You would give anything to have Drew back, wouldn't you?"

"Nikolas, please" she said as her eyes welled.

"Wouldn't you?" he repeated, this time more insistently.

"That's not a fair question"

"Your refusal to answer it tells me everything I need to know."

"You have got to be kidding me." Her breathing continued in spurts as she tried to figure out how her world got turned on its axis and what she needed to do to put it back together.

"I think you'll find that I am clearly not kidding."

"That man may look like Drew but he is NOT Drew. Drew is gone and you are the one I want to build my life with."

"That wasn't my question." His voice had lost all trace of kindness as his eyes remained dark and blazing.

"Would you give anything to have Courtney back?" she shot back at him.

"Don't turn this around on me" he raged quietly.

"I don't even know what *this* is" she said as she lost her battle to keep the tears from falling. "What is wrong with you?"

"I could ask the same thing about you"

Feeling her stomach turn and her knees buckle, Nathalie dropped her eyes to the floor. "I can't talk to you like this..." her voice trailed off as she pushed past her fiance and ran down the hall.

Nikolas leaned against the wall and pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes, unsure of how things had got so wildly out of control. Worse was the realization that he wasn't sure if he knew how to fix it.

**********  
Blinded by her tears, Nathalie sprinted in a straight line hoping she was headed for the exit. Her heart hammered inside her chest and the pain in her heart made it feel like her body was on fire. Oblivious to everything but the replay of the argument in her head, she didn't hear anyone call her name until a pair of strong hands came down on her shoulders.

"Nathalie - stop." Trembling, she looked up and saw Noah's kind face looking back at her. "What happened?" his tone reflecting his grave concern.

She opened her mouth to speak but there were no words. She felt as though she was broken inside, that the thousand of tiny stress fractures had finally all given way at once and there was nothing but rubble. "Noah" she croaked.

Seeing she was clearly in shock, Noah threw his arm around her and ushered her down the hall to his office. He led her to couch and pulling a blanket from the arm tucked it around her legs to warm her up. Sitting on the couch, facing her, he watched her carefully as she choked on one silent sob after another. He rubbed her shoulder and waited. "Long, slow breaths Nathalie" he said soothingly. "Long and slow."

She struggled to follow his instructions as the tears continued to gush forth. "I...I....."

"Shhh." He continued to rub her shoulder. "You don't have to talk just yet."

Flopping her head back on the couch, she stared up at the ceiling. Every step she had taken in the last year to rebuild and start again seemed wasted. Her past and her future had collided and all that was left were fragments of what was and what could have been. There was nothing left - she had spent everything she had and was now just a broken heap. For the first time since the custody battle, she believed that her children were better off without her. She brought nothing but damage and pain wherever she went.

"It's over" she said quietly.

"What is, sweetheart?" Noah asked gently.

"All of it." She sighed and sat up, wiping at her face. Noah handed her a kleenex. "Nikolas - the kids - it's over."

"Nathalie, what happened?"

"He thinks I don't love him - he thinks I would rather have Drew or a Drew look a like. I have no business being here - being a mother" her hand went to her belly. "This was a mistake."

"He knows you love him..."

Nathalie cut him off. "He doesn't. He doesn't trust me."

"What did he say about the baby?"

She shook her head. "He doesn't know - I never got the chance to tell him."

"You will need to at some point..."

"Not if I don't have it, I won't."

Noah's mouth dropped open slightly. "Nathalie" he said cautriously. "You are clearly very upset, I don't think you should rush into any hasty decisions."

She laughed mirthlessly. "A little late for that now, don't you think? My husband isn't even dead a year and I'm already engaged to someone else AND pregnant. If that doesn't define hasty, what does?" She shook her head. "My parents were right to take my children, I have no business being a parent."

Noah rubbed his hands over his face. Very quietly, yet very precisely, Nathalie was coming apart - stitch by stitch, seam by seam. Looking at her felt, in many respects, like looking in a mirror a decade ago. "You and Nikolas need to talk - you both love each other so much, this is workable." He knew that if he had only had the courage to deal with the reality before him when Mattie died, his life could have taken a very different path.

"Do we? Do we really love each other or is that just a lie we tell ourselves?"

"I've seen you two together, I've seen the way you look at him and I've seen the way he can find you anywhere in a room - those are the actions of a couple in love. I know it feels like there is nothing left for you to believe in but it's not over between you two" Reaching over, he picked up her left hand and held it up to her eyes. "Not by a long shot."

"It's a ring, not a promise. I had one before, for all the good it did me." Her voice was flat and emotionless. "I don't know how to go on Noah - I am simply spent. I have nothing - absolutely nothing left to give."

"You have more to give than you realize," he said reassuringly. "But right now, it's not about giving, it's about receiving. You take such good care of the people around you - your friends, your children." She scoffed at his statement. "It's true" he stroked her hair. "I have not forgotten what you did for Patrick last year - he never would have made it through without you - you must know that Nathalie. There were moments where you were the only one who could reach him and no matter what happened, you made sure he had a net. Let those of us who care for you do the same."

She dropped her head, defeated on to his shoulder. "I want it to stop. I want the pain and the fear to stop."

Taking her into his arms, he was surprised at how small she actually was. Her personality was so strong and her courage so real that he always thought her to be a much bigger person than her small frame indicated. She sighed heavily against his shoulder, letting Noah comfort her. He said nothing, just letting her draw strength from him.

He turned his head as the door to his office swung open. "Hey Gramps!" Patrick announced. "Someone...." The words died on his lips as he saw his best friend wrapped in his father's arms. Defeat was mapped across her face and Patrick's stomach dropped. "What happened?" he said, licking his lips nervously.

"It's not Grace" Nathalie said against Noah's chest, too exhausted to lift her head.

"What happened?" he repeated. Noah motioned for him to close the door and he did once he pushed Rian's stroller all the way through.

"Nathalie and Nikolas hit a bit of a roadblock" Noah said gently. Patrick nodded knowingly; convinced whatever had taken them off the rails had something to do with the photo on Nikolas' cell phone.

Sitting up, she wipped at her face. "I should go."

"Where to?" Noah asked.

"My home. I still have a lease. I can pack up the rest of Grace's things to give to my parents."

Noah and Patrick exchanged worried glances. "Let me drop Rian off at daycare and I'll take you" Patrick offered. Nathalie opened her mouth to protest but Patrick cut her off. "It's not up for debate." Turning to his father, he caught his eye. "Could you let Robin know? And maybe you could come home with her and have dinner with us?"

Noah nodded. "Of course sport."

Nathalie stood on shaky knees and smiled tiredly at Noah. "Thank you."

Standing up as well, he wrapped her in his warm embrace. "You are going to be okay" he whispered to her ear. "Things are not as bad as they seem and I will help you through this however I can." She nodded, too overcome to speak again.

Putting his arm around her, Patrick escorted her from his father's office, turning back only long enough to mouth 'thank you' to his father. He smiled and winked at his son before sinking back to his couch, somehow convinced this was just the tip of the iceberg.

********  
Having put Rian to bed, Robin returned to the kitchen where Noah dried the last of the dishes. It had been nearly six hours since Patrick and Nathalie had left and while Robin understood that he likely had his hands full, she was beginning to feel uneasy that she hadn't heard from him at all.

"You didn't have to do all the dishes" Robin said as she hopped up on the counter beside him.

"You cooked - it's only fair that I clean." Noah looked up at his daughter-in-law and saw the way she nervously chewed on her bottom lip. "Why don't you call him?"

She looked at him in surprise, smiling sheepishly that she was so transparent in her thoughts. "I don't want to disturb him - Nathalie clearly needs him and I don't want to be the clingy wife."

"I can be the clingy parent" he said, pulling his cell phone from his pocket. Dialing Patrick's cell phone he was surprised when it went directly to voicemail. Making a face, he dialed Nathalie's cell phone - it too went to voicemail. Noah frowned and started to dial Nathalie's house number when the doorbell rang.

Robin hopped from the counter, smiling. "Probably dropped his keys" she said heading to the door. She was shocked to see Nikolas on the step. "Nik."

"May I speak with her? I know I've screwed up and I need to tell her how sorry I am."

Pulling him inside and closing the door behind him, she looked at him warily. "She's not here Nikolas."

His face fell. "Where....where is she?"

"What happened Nik?" she asked softly, touching his arm.

He shook his head. "I don't know" he said honestly. "I kind of lost my mind."

Noah walked from the kitchen. "That's strange" he said, acknowledging Nikolas with a curt nod of his head.

"What?" Robin asked.

"There is no answer at any of the numbers I've called and I've paged Patrick twice but he hasn't called back."

Robin furrowed her brow. "He wouldn't ignore a page."

"Why don't I go over and make sure he doesn't need some back up?"

"I'll go with you" Nikolas said.

Noah raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's a good idea Nikolas."

His cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I understand you want to protect Nathalie but please believe me Noah - I need...I want...I have to see her."

Taking his jacket from the cupboard, he shrugged. "Fine - but if you upset her any more than she is I will personally show you the door."

"Understood."

Noah kissed Robin on the cheek. "I'll have your husband ring you in a few minutes."

"Thanks Noah."

The drive over was silent as both men's thoughts were occupied with the situation awaiting them. They walked to the front door together and were puzzled to see it opened. Noah pushed the door all the way open and walked through. "Nathalie?" he called out. "Patrick?" Recieving no response, he looked at Nikolas who scanned the living room. His eyes fell on the photo of the two of them together by the Christmas tree and he chided himself for the millionth time about his appalling behaviour earlier in the day. He didn't know how he would convince Nathalie to accept his apology but he wasn't leaving until she knew how sorry he was.

Walking in to the kitchen, Noah stopped short and in a strangled voice called to Nikolas. Standing beside Noah, his knees started to tremble. The kitchen was completely destroyed. The table was upended and the chairs were strewn about. Both cell phones and Patrick's pager lay scattered on the floor. There were drops of blood leading to the back porch and both men froze when they saw the blood stained knife lying on the counter.


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 56

His head pounded as he felt the blood coursing through his cold metal he felt around his wrists was a nice contrast to the heat of his body. Slowly, carefully, he pried his eyes open. Blinking several times, he tried to orient himself. He saw the long, winding staircase at the far end of the room. The acidic smell in the air told him the room was recently painted. Lifting his head proved to be painful and he fell back against the pillows. He put his hand against his head and palpated as much as he could, stopping when he came across the source of his pain - a large goose egg at the back of his skull. There were no windows that he could see and while the room was sparsely furnished, it did contain many amenities - toilet, fridge and shower. He raised his arms and saw the handcuffs were attached to long chains which were attached to the wall overhead. A quick, strong yank on them proved they were well secured. Letting out a deep sigh, he rolled on to his side. They were most definitely in trouble.

He watched Nathalie on the bed next to his. She was chained and cuffed in the same manner. Her face was pale and there was a patch of dried blood at her hair line. An angry bruise was beginning to show itself on her cheek along with the outline of someone's knuckles. "Nat?" he called to her. "Nat? Can you hear me?" Getting no response he sat up, immediately regretting his decision as a wave of nausea washed over him. Taking several deep breaths, he pushed himself from the bed and stood up. His legs shook slightly as he walked to Nathalie but was forced to stop just short of her bed as he reached the end of the slack on his tether. "Nat baby?" She let out a low moan, her eyes fluttering and struggling to open. "That's it Nat - open those pretty green eyes for me."

It had all happened so quickly that he wasn't entirely clear about the details. It had been a silent drive back to her house, he had kept one hand on the wheel and one hand on hers. She looked nothing like the woman he had come to love as much as his childhood friend - she was defeated and shattered. He squeezed her hand several times but got no response from her. They had walked up her driveway hand in hand, his arm around her shoulders for support. He led her inside and she walked straight to the kitchen.

_"I'd offer you something to drink but I haven't lived here in a month or two. If there's any food here" she said flatly as she opened the fridge. "it will likely kill you."_

Patrick sat at the kitchen table and watched as she walked around the room, opening and closing cupboards. "Talk to me Nat."

"And say what?" she shrugged. "Which part of the horror story that is my life would you like me to repeat?"

"Nat..."

"What?" The challenge was unmistakable in her eyes.

"Sit" he said sharply. "Enough of the wandering weirdo stuff." Glaring at him like a petulant child, she flopped into the seat across from him. "What happened with Nik?"

She sighed deeply. "Remember that guy who looks like Drew?" Patrick grimaced, suspecting what was coming next. "He has a niece in the oncology ward and we've talked a few times. He was congratulating me on my alleged engagement" she said bitterly, "when Nik came out of nowhere and decked him."

"Nik can throw a punch?" he asked in surprise.

Nathalie rolled her eyes. "Whatever - it lead to a nasty argument and now I'm done. I simply don't care anymore - I can't care."

"What do you mean?" he asked tentatively.

"My parents have my kids - they'll be well looked after. My husband, the man I loved more than life almost and who I pledged myself to is dead. What's the point?"

Patrick's eyes stung as tears appeared suddenly. "Don't" he said hoarsely. "Don't even joke about that."

"Who's joking P? I finally get why Andrew killed himself - he didn't think he had anything to live for and neither do I!"

Patrick jumped from his chair and pulled her from hers. He was inches from her face as he shook her. "STOP IT!! You stop that right now! You don't get to do that - no fucking way Nat. I am NOT losing another person in my life so snap the fuck out of it!" She flinched only slightly before the tears began anew. "Oh Nathalie" he sighed pulling her to his chest. "This was what was supposed to happen a year ago but you were just too stubborn to let it happen." He kissed her temple. "I would be lost without you."

"I'm sorry" she whimpered. "P - I'm a mess. I MISS my husband. I miss Nik. I miss my kids but most of all I miss when it was easy - when I had passion and fire." She sobbed as she buried her head in his chest. A year's worth of pain and disappointment bubbled to the surface and started its long descent out.

"Why didn't you tell me it was so bad?" He rubbed his hands down her back in attempt to stop her from shuddering. "I'm so sorry Nat." 

And that had been the moment when everything changed.

_"Aww don't they look sweet?" came a voice._

Spinning around Patrick was stunned to see three men clad completely in black with their faces covered. "What the fuck?" he asked, holding Nathalie tighter.

"You're coming with us" said the man closest to them as he advanced towards them. Reaching out to grab Patrick, he swung wildly making contact with the agressor's chin forcing his knees to buckle.

Patrick wasn't fast enough for the second man who grabbing Patrick by the pressure points on his wrist and hand forced him to his knees. "Easy there hot stuff" he said in a thick British accent. "Would hate to permanently ruin you before we get playtime." Patrick looked pleadingly at Nathalie trying to encourage her to run but she wouldn't leave. Moving quietly and quickly, she pulled a chef's knife from the knife block and brandished it at the intruders.

"You get the fuck away from him" she growled. "LET HIM GO!!" 

_  
"Now sweetstuff - you're too wee to play with knives like that - hand it over." The third man approached her, the corner of the counter the only thing between them._

"Fuck you" she spat.

"If you play nicely, I just may let you. I hear you like a little bit of rough."

Lifting both arms over head, Nathalie brought the knife down in the centre of his hand, essentially pinning him to the counter. He let loose a blood curdling scream as the first man chased after her. Grabbing her by the hair, he banged her head against the corner of the store before tossing her across the kitchen where she landed with a thud.

"NAT!!" Patrick called. It was the last thing he remembered before it all went dark. 

"Nathalie, sweetie - those green eyes - I need to see them" he pleaded.

She moaned and opened them slowly. "Pat- Patrick"

"Hi there" he smiled. "You remember my name."

"Shouldn't I?" she asked groggily.

"Nat - we're in a spot of trouble and if we're going to get out I need to know first if you're okay."

She nodded slowly. "Nothing broken I don't think. You?"

"I'm okay - just a bump on my head. Can you sit up?" As she did, she felt her stomach drop and leaning over the far side of the bed began to vomit. Patrick grimaced as she dry-heaved, unable to reach her to touch her. "Nat?"

Moving slowly, she sat back against the bed. "I'm fine."

"You might have a concussion - you hit your head pretty hard."

"It's not a concussion" she said sleepily.

"Nat, I'm a doctor - a head doctor at that and I really think..."

"I'm pregnant."


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 57

Both men stood staring in disbelief at the bloody knife on the counter. It was clear that whatever had gone on had very little to do with Nathalie and Nikolas' argument and everything to do with some kind of assault. Nikolas' throat was closed off and dry. He swallowed thickly several times but was unable to form words. He walked in bewilderment to the counter and was about to pick up the knife when Noah called to him.

"Don't touch that!" he said quickly. "It's evidence."

"What….what the hell happened?" Shock resonated in Nikolas' voice.

Noah shook his head unable to process much beyond the fact that his son was clearly in some kind of trouble. He took several long, deep breaths and reminded himself over and over again not let his mind wander too far, too fast. "We need to call 9-1-1 and Mac Scorpio."

Nikolas pulled out his phone and hit the speed dial key. "Lucky, it's Nikolas." The tremor in his voice became more pronounced. "I need you right now" he said urgently. "Something…something has happened to Nathalie and Patrick."

Noah continued to stare at the knife and the blood droplets. Was that his son's blood? Was it Nathalie's? Or had there been a struggle and they were both hurt and hiding. His eye twitched as scenarios ran through his head. His attempts to not let his imagination get the best of him were failing.

"Lucky is going to call Mac."

"I need to get back to Robin. If she doesn't hear from us in the next couple of minutes she is going to panic."

"Lucky is on his way with the crime scene guys – why don't we have Mac meet us at Robin's place?" Nikolas proposed.

Noah nodded. Waves of understanding crashed over him. His son – his only child – was missing. Missing or dead? He stood stock still for a moment trying to listen to his heart, knowing that if his child was dead he would surely feel it. He felt fear but not pain and until that changed then he would believe Patrick was alive.

Neither man moved from where they stood, both somehow afraid that if they left the scene it would change something or take them further away from their loved ones. There, in that kitchen, with its overturned tables and chairs, was as close to Patrick and Nathalie as they could get. They both jumped hearing Lucky's voice.

"I need you guys to step out of the kitchen" he said. He had called to both of them but neither answered.  
"Lucky" Nikolas said, his brown eyes filled with fear. "She's not….she's not here."

Lucky put his hand on his brother's trembling shoulder. "I know Nik – we're going to find her" Looking over at Noah he gave his most reassuring smile. "Both of them – we are going to find both of them. I've got the best forensic team going but I need you to get out of their way." His voice was kind but firm.

Noah shuffled from the kitchen suddenly realizing he had no idea how he was going to tell Robin the news. He wasn't sure the words would make it from his brain to his mouth. Intellectually he understood the scene before him but emotionally it was simply not registering. Nikolas followed Noah to the living room and turned back to his brother. "You have to find her – please Lucky – you have to find her."

"I will Nik – you just need to let me do my job."

"Lucky…"

"It's okay Nik – I'm going to do everything I can."

"Where is Mac?" Noah asked as he pulled himself from his thoughts.

"He's agreed to meet you at Robin's. He said he won't go in until you get there. Why don't I have a squad car take you over?"

"I drove" Noah said flatly.

"That's okay Noah – you can get your car later." His voice was firm, but kind – providing reassurance and direction. His brother and Noah were both in shock and unable to see that. Until they could, he would gently but forcefully make decisions for them. With a promise he would update them as soon as he knew anything, he escorted them both to the door and had one of the beat officers take them to Robin's.

Mac jumped from his car as soon as he saw the marked car pull into the lane. He had received two full briefings from Lucky since the original phone call and knew that it was likely they were both alive. The medical examiner was running tests on the blood drops as well as the blood on the knife – that at least would provide a jumping off point. He watched as Noah and Nikolas exited the car – both were pale and silent. The prospect of telling his niece that her husband was missing was a daunting one but knew that he needed to be there when it happened. She had had her share of disappointment and tragedy in her short life and Mac hoped that this time it would only be temporary.

"Noah, Nikolas" he called to them.

"Mac" Noah said quietly.

"It's okay mate" the commissioner said, putting a strong, steadying hand on Noah's shoulder. "I have all my best guys working on this."

Noah nodded wordlessly and led the way to the front door. He rang the bell and closed his eyes when Robin pulled open the door. Balancing Rian on her hip, she looked from Noah's face to Nikolas' before stopping on her uncle's. Taking a deep breath she held open the door.

"I guess you all better come in."

They filed in to the house and headed straight the kitchen, the heart of the home. Noah was struck by the difference between this kitchen and the one he just left. This one was warm and brightly lit, there was jazz playing on the cd player and baby toys strewn about the floor; the other one was cold and heartless.

Robin put Rian in his playpen and sat down at the table. "I want the absolute truth with no softening of the blow" she said firmly. "Where is my husband?"

"We don't know luv." Mac started, trying to spare the other two from having to break the news. "There is evidence of a struggle at Nathalie's place and no sign of either Patrick or Nathalie thought their cell phones and pagers are there." He reached for her hand and waited while she processed the information.

"Why – who…why would anyone want to hurt them?"

"We don't know yet sweetheart." Mac said reassuringly. "It could be random or it could be targeted – we're working on that."

"He's not dead" she said strongly. "I would know - I would feel something."

"Me too" said Noah. "He's strong Robin and really resourceful." Noah said it as much for himself as he did for her. "Why would Patrick be a target?" Noah asked.

"We don't know that he was. Nathalie could have been the target."

"It doesn't make sense that either of them would be a target" Robin said in frustration. "Patrick is a doctor – he has no ties to organized crime or anything – he is a family man and a doctor – why would anyone want him?" She shook her head, resolving not to cry unless she truly had something to cry about. Her husband and her children, both of them, would be counting on her to be strong and she couldn't afford to let them down.

Mac took his niece in his arms and felt as she melted into him just a little. "We're going to get them back" he promised. "No matter what."

Nikolas ran his hand over his watch, a gift from Nathalie at Christmas; it was the only tangible thing related to her that he had with him. He was devastated that his final words to her were in anger - that whatever happened to her, happened with her believing he didn't love her or want her. His heart felt shredded and when they got her back he would spend every minute of every day trying to make it up to her.

"Nikolas?" Mac asked.

Snapping from his thoughts, he shook his head and looked at the commissioner. "Pardon?"

"I asked if you knew of any reason why anyone would want to hurt Nathalie?"

"No" he said hoarsely, looking back at his watch. "No one knows her here – no one would hurt her – her parents hate her but they have what they want – her children. They would never do something like this."

The hair on the back of Noah's neck stood on end. "Nikolas – did Nathalie speak to you about what happened while you were away?" Noah had the undivided attention of all three people in the room.

"What do you mean?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

Noah sighed and ran his hand over his face. "I really am not supposed to say – it's doctor/patient privilege."

"Noah" Robin said softly. "I feel confident that Nathalie would wave that if it would help bring her and Patrick home." She was ready to break any law, flout any rule to bring her husband home. Her hand went to her belly and she rubbed it lightly. She would not have a second child without her husband so getting him home was all that mattered.

He nodded, knowing that Robin was right. "Nathalie was at Jake's one night last week and I got a call from Coleman saying she was in trouble."

"Wha-what kind of trouble?" Nikolas asked as a sense of dread worked its way inside him.

"She was behaving….out of character" he said euphemistically. "Coleman didn't know who else to call since you were all out of town so he called me. When I got there, she was clearly under the influence of something so I brought her to the hospital and ran some tests."

"What was it?" Mac asked, feeling as though he may be getting the first piece of the puzzle.

"GHB"

Robin's mouth fell open. "No!"

"What is GHB?" Nikolas knew, given the reactions, it wasn't good but had never heard of it.

"Gamma butyrolactone" Noah said. "Date rape drug."

Beads of sweat formed on Nikolas' face as his stomach continued to flip flop as it had been since arriving at Nathalie's house. "Was she?" He couldn't bring himself to ask the question.

"No" Noah said quickly. "But if Coleman hadn't intervened she may have been."

"What did the guy look like?" Mac asked.

He shook his head. "He was long gone by the time I got there – Coleman could probably tell you though."

"This is good – this is a lead" Mac said confidently.

"There's one more thing" Noah started, reticent to divulge any more of Nathalie's secrets but her life and his son's life could be at stake and he would tell everything he knew if it meant saving their lives.

"What?" Mac asked, aware that this was about to get much worse.

"Nikolas, I am so sorry to have to tell you this in this way – she wanted to tell you – she was going to tell you…"

"What is it?" His dark eyes were filled with fear.

"Nathalie is pregnant."

Nikolas closed his eyes as he felt them fill with tears. "Oh god no."

Noah put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

"Nikolas, I have to ask you" Mac pressed on. "Where is Helena?"

"Locked up at a facility in London."

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure she's there? Yes. Am I sure she isn't behind this? No."

Robin stood up, somewhat unsteadily and walked to the phone. "Who are you calling sweetheart?" Mac asked gently.

"My father and then my mother. If Helena has Nathalie and Patrick, it's going to take a lot more than what the PCPD can offer to bring them home."


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 58

Patrick stared at her for several seconds, unable to speak. "Pr-pregnant?" he stammered. "How? When?"

"I'm not sure I need to explain the how to you," she said closing her eyes as the nausea continued to wash over her. "I found out last week."

"Is it Nik's?" He grimaced as soon as the words left his mouth.

Her eyes flew open as she fixed him with a dark look. "Despite my past as a slut Patrick, I haven't actually, ever, cheated on anyone."

"I know" he said apologetically. "That isn't what I meant to say, I guess I'm just surprised - you never said you were thinking about a baby."

She shrugged, "We only decided a while ago."

"How far along are you?"

"I have no idea," she said honestly. "Noah told me last week and I haven't had a chance to get in for an exam."

"My dad?" The chains clanged on the concrete floor as he rubbed his face. "Why was my dad giving you pregnancy results?"

Shaking her head, she tried to stand on her wobbly legs. "Doesn't matter - we need to get out of here." The first tentative step Nathalie took proved to be too much as she swayed, her legs giving way completely. Scrambling to his feet, Patrick pulled his leash as far as it would go and managed to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Nat!" he cried. "Nat!!" Her head lolled to the side as her entire body went slack. Placing his fingers against her carotid artery he felt her weak but steady pulse. Gripped by panic he began to yell. "HELP!! HELP US!!!" The words bounced off the walls and came back to him, almost mocking in their tone. Lifting his head and looking at the ceiling, he let out a deep sigh -the room was soundproof and there was no help coming. He looked down at his friend, unconscious and cold in his arms and began to realize just how dire their situation was. He rubbed his knuckles over her heart. "Come on Nat – I need you to wake up." He propped her up into a sitting position, leaning against him with her arms stretched out awkwardly in front of her due to the length of the chains. Hoping the heat from his body would transfer to her he rubbed her arms and kept talking to her.

"Come on you heartless bottom feeder" he joked weakly, "don't make me use my quack skills on you. You need to wake up so that we can get out of here – I have to get back to Robin and you need to get back to Nik." He paused and sucked in a long breath to steady himself. "Did I tell you? Did I tell you Robin's pregnant too? You guys can be pregnant together – though I don't think I'm ready for all those hormones to be in one room together. But it would be fun – wouldn't it? Trading stories about swollen ankles and weird cravings – if you wake up we can get out of here and get moving on that." Her head lay unmoving against his shoulder. "Remember when you were pregnant with Oliver and you practically ate every grocery store out of their cranberry and orange scones? You had Drew driving all over Washington to find some. I sent you two boxes from Williams Sonoma and Drew said you polished it all off in a couple of days." He smiled at the memory.

_"Dude – it's all she wants to eat – cranberry and orange scones. I have become best friends with at least three bakers in our neighbourhood but they don't make them often enough."_

"Tell her to eat something else" Patrick dismissed.

"P- it's bad luck for the baby if you don't give the momma what she wants."

"Oh?" he laughed "Is that the story she spun you?"

Drew laughed. He had a hearty laugh that was contagious and would fill a room. "One day P – one day you will know what this is – there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her."

He scoffed. "Yeah, I know – you're whipped."

"I'm not" he protested. "I'm not whipped because there isn't anything she wouldn't do for me. We're partners. Just you wait my friend – one of these days some girl is going to come out of nowhere and you're going to wonder how you lived without her."

"Whatever – go get your wife some scones."

"Robin didn't have too many weird cravings with Rian – though she ate a lot of ice cream. Maybe Nik and I could form a support group to deal with the two of you? What do you think?" He continued to rub her arms. "I bet my dad was excited that you're pregnant. He adores you, you know – I'm almost jealous at how much he likes you – almost, I mean he still loves me best and who wouldn't, frankly?" he chuckled at his own joke. "You're so good to him – you always were. Remember that night you hosted us for dinner when Drew was on another of his 'Get Patrick and Noah to make up' campaigns? He tried to be sober that night but I was so mean to him – so angry with him that I pushed and I pushed until his only option was to reach for the flask in his jacket. Drew felt defeated but not you – you just took him by the arm and into another room where you sat and talked to him. I don't even know what you said but I do know that you showed him the kindness I couldn't." Patrick rubbed his face with his hand. "You didn't give up on him – and you can't give up now – wake up Nat. Wake up and we'll get out of here." His confidence was wavering as he began to plead with her. "Please – please wake up." She stirred slightly in his arms, her head moving against his shoulder. "That's it Nat" he encouraged. "Open those eyes – come on."

Patrick's head snapped up as the door at the top of the stairs opened and he heard boots on the metal staircase before the two men came into view. He tightened his grip around his friend and glared at the aggressors. Without a word, they walked directly to where they were sitting on the ground and tried to yank Nathalie from his arms. He shifted, trying to put his body in front of her. "Leave her alone!!" he screamed.

One of the men, their faces still covered, pulled on the tether attached to the wall forcing Patrick to let go of Nathalie. The second man picked her up in his arms and undid her handcuffs. Jumping to his feet, Patrick tried to lunge at them and received a solid punch in the gut for his efforts. With the wind knocked out of him, he crumpled to the ground in a heap.

"Let's go" the first man said. "Madame said we were to be careful with this one."

"She's on her way shortly so we better get her ready."

Panting, and holding his chest, Patrick watched as they spirited her up the stairs. Their words echoed in his head. "She's on her way." Whoever had taken them was apparently a woman but beyond that it did nothing to help him figure out what was going on.

He pulled himself, groaning, on to the bed. Lifting his arm, he looked at his watch – 10:52 p.m. – they had arrived at Nathalie's from the hospital around 5 p.m. so by his best guess they had been gone almost six hours. Draping his arm across his eyes, his thoughts wandered to Robin. Did she know they were missing? Was she frantic? She would have put Rian down by now having read him two stories. He got two stories every night – when their shifts allowed them to both put him down, each one would take a turn reading a story – tonight would have been one of those nights. His chest seized as he thought of his son. His son – their child together – he had come into the world fighting for his life and proved to be a miracle every day.

Patrick knew that he couldn't let himself get too emotional or too deep in his own head. Staying level headed and as emotionless as possible would be necessary to get through this – whatever this was. A small smile crept across his lips as he thought of the number of times Robin chided him, when they first met, for his cold and distant bedside manner. He had worked hard to bring a little more compassion to his dealings with patients and Robin had declared it a moral victory but now, in this moment, he needed to call up on the old Patrick – the cold, arrogant jerk that could do anything. It was going to be the only way to get the one thing he wanted – home, to his family.

He slid his watch from his wrist and shoved it in his pocket. Keeping track of the days and the time were going to be important to survival and he was afraid if they saw his watch they would take it from him. A slow, unsteady breath escaped his lips. He had never thought himself to be particularly brave but he knew he needed to find some courage to survive. Standing up from the bed, he walked as far around the room as his chains would let him. He ran his fingers along the concrete wall, randomly feeling for any weaknesses – there were none. Whoever had planned this had put a lot of thought in to it.

Clueless as to why he and Nathalie had been taken, he ran scenarios through his head. Was he the target and Nathalie collateral damage? He dismissed it immediately – they wouldn't have grabbed him at her place – if they wanted him there were lots of places to get him alone. They wanted her – as well as him or did he get in the way. He wondered briefly if this was the work of her parents but knew that as sick and twisted as they were, this was not their work. The Ambassador would never lower himself to exert this much effort where his daughter was concerned.

"What do we have in common?" he asked out loud. "Why would they take Nathalie AND me?"

He continued to pace, counting how many steps he could take from his bed in each direction. Nathalie's bed remained just out of reach and he couldn't decide if that was on purpose or not. He found himself wishing he had taken his father-in-law drinking and pried all of his spy tricks from him because clearly his medical training was of little use. He spun around as the door opened again and the two men returned carrying a struggling Nathalie down the stairs.

"PUT ME DOWN you motherfuckers!" she yelled, arms flailing, legs kicking.

"That's my girl" he thought to himself.

They carried her straight to her bed and practically dropped her on it before disappearing back up the stairs. "FUCK YOU!" she screamed after them.

"Nat?" he asked, searching her face for any sign of mistreatment. The only evidence was the bruise on her cheek from when they grabbed her in the kitchen.

She struggled to sit up. "P? Are you okay?"

Nodding, he let go of the breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. "I am – you? What did they do to you?"

She shook her head. "Took my blood pressure, drew blood and gave me a shot." Patrick furrowed his brow at a loss to understand. "Patrick?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we're in really, really big trouble."


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 59

Standing over her son's crib Robin let out a quiet sigh. After all the activity of the last few hours the house was finally quiet. It had taken quite a bit of effort on her part to convince first Mac, then Noah and Nikolas that she would be fine. Her uncle had promised to call her with an update as soon as the Medical Examiner determined whose blood was at the crime scene. Nikolas had made several frantic phone calls only to discover despite his best laid plans his grandmother was, in fact, on the loose. The upside to his discovery was that Helena was very likely holding Nathalie and Patrick; the downside was that she had the whole world in which to do it.

She stroked her sleeping son's back. If Helena had him, as it appeared she did, then she knew he was safe for now. It wasn't a random home invasion or mistaken identity – Patrick was taken on purpose – for a purpose and that brought her some measure of comfort. Walking across the room, she sank in to the rocking chair, pulling the blanket from the arm and wrapping it around her. Given who she had dated in the past, this type of situation was not a new one for her; she had spent hours, sometimes days wondering if Jason was going to be home and in fact had become so accustomed to the danger his life brought that she expected him to be taken or killed or both. The irony that it was her neurosurgeon husband with no connection to organized crime who had been kidnapped was not lost on her.

Her hand went to her belly. They had barely begun to celebrate the news of their second child. They had been planning to call her parents tomorrow to let them know they were going to be grandparents again but that wasn't the phone call she got to make. Rocking gently in the chair she thought back to the conversations she had with both of them. While her upbringing had been unconventional to say the least and her parents were absent for large parts of her life, they continually proved to her that the bond between parent and child had nothing to do with physical proximity and everything to do with the proximity of the heart.

_"Dad?"_

"Luv?" came the smooth Australian accent. She didn't know where in the world he was, only how to contact him.

"There's a problem." She felt strangely disengaged as she relayed the news of Patrick and Nathalie's kidnapping and the belief that Helena might be behind it. Though good in a crisis, she had expected to be more emotional but thought it positive that she wasn't. Robert had listened attentively, asking only the briefest of questions.

_"I am on my way" he said quickly. "We'll get him back Robin – you must believe that."_

"I do." 

And she did believe it. Though her husband had continually told her that he wasn't as strong as she was, or as tough as she was, Robin knew differently. Patrick had pockets of strength he didn't even know about. Few people could understand the steadfastness and internal fortitude it took to hold a life in your hands, to stand quietly over an opened brain working on nerves and receptors that were millimeters not inches. He walked a tightrope daily in the operating room where the smallest of error, the slightest miscalculation, would result in loss of function or death. He was unwavering in his ability to get through a surgery no matter how difficult and he always had two plans – the optimal plan and the back up. Patrick may have come across as a cocky, fly by the seat of his pants surgeon but he was a planner and never made a move until he was sure. That was how she knew that no matter where he was, no matter what was happening, her husband would not panic. There would be no impulsive bid for freedom that could end badly because though he was a risk taker he always calculated the risk first.

Her eyes grew heavy with fatigue but she wasn't ready to sleep. With overlapping and conflicting shifts going to bed without her husband was not a new thing but she had never once gone to bed not knowing where he was or not being able to get a hold of him. Getting up from the rocking chair, she bent over the crib and kissed her son. "Don't worry Rian, we're going to get Daddy back." She pulled the door closed behind her and walked to her bedroom. Standing in the doorway she stared at their king size bed, chuckling at the disagreement they had when they went bed shopping to replace Patrick's old queen size bed.

_"Patrick, what on earth do we need a king size bed for?"_

"The room – bigger is better baby" he teased bouncing on one of the floor models.

"I am three apples high – I get lost in the queen, you'll never find me in the king"

Reaching for her hands he pulled her on to his lap. "I will always find you – no matter what." 

Robin shivered as she heard the serious tinge to his voice in her head.

_"Besides, playing naked hide and seek can be fun."_

She rolled her eyes. "You are incorrigible."

"Nah." He kissed her cheek. "I just want to have the perfect bed in which to sleep with you, make love to you and even just hang out with you." 

Robin looked at the silk navy blue duvet cover with the crisp white pillow cases and shook her head. That was their bed and if he could not sleep in it, neither would she. Grabbing her robe and pajamas, she walked to the spare bedroom, home to Patrick's old queen sized bed and got under the covers. The next time she slept in her bed would be with her husband's arms wrapped firmly around her.

"I love you Patrick" she whispered before finally giving in to slumber.

********  
Nikolas sat behind the desk in his study staring at the family photos he had so carefully arranged. There was the obligatory one of his mother along with several from Spencer's christening with Lulu and Lucky holding him. And then there were the two photos of Nathalie. She hated having her picture taken and would find a way to keep busy if there was any threat of a camera. Despite her best efforts he had managed to snap two photos of her. The first was on the beach in Australia at Robin and Patrick's wedding. Her hair was lighter, her skin sun-kissed and her white dress skimmed her curves. Out of frame, Patrick had just told her some outrageous joke that caused her to laugh uproariously. Her green eyes sparkled and she embodied happiness - he could spend hours staring at that picture. The second photo was taken before Christmas, before it had all gone terribly wrong. Nathalie sat on the bed in his bedroom with Oliver between her legs and Grace tucked under her arm. She was reading a story and exuding such maternal love. His chest constricted as he thought of her alone, afraid and pregnant with his child believing he didn't love her. All he wanted to do was kiss her and tell her how happy she had made him - how nothing mattered but their family. Rage boiled inside him as he realized that he likely brought this on himself and on her.

His hand swept across the desk sending everything - papers, telephones and photos - flying. It was not the first time he felt the weight of the Cassadine curse but it was the most painful. Lulled into the belief that he could live a normal life, he had let his guard down with Nathalie, let things slide where his grandmother and other threats were concerned. But he knew now; he knew there would be no normal life for him. Hurling the glass of brandy in his hand at the wall, he didn't even notice the amber liquid splattering over priceless heirlooms. The heirlooms and antiques were meaningless if he had no one to share them with. Pushing out of his chair, he walked to the far wall, pulled the Stubbs painting from it and flung it at the stone fireplace. The release became intoxicating and he reached for book after book, pulling them from their shelves and smashing them against the desk. The crystal wine decanter shattered loudly as it made contact with the fireplace. A small photo of his grandmother in a delicate pewter frame rested on the bookshelf. Picking it up he smiled mirthlessly, his grandmother had spent years trying to get him to be a real Cassadine and though she may have finally succeeded, he hoped to make her regret it. If she wanted his darkness, his ruthlessness to come out to play then he would certainly do his best to please her.

The reign of destruction continued as he broke, shattered and hurled everything in the room that was not nailed down. Standing in the centre of the study he felt a sense of satisfaction that there was nothing left. The destruction wasn't the end, it was just the beginning. He sank to the floor and pulled the picture of Nathalie from the pile. Tracing the outline of her face with his finger, he looked intently at the photo. "I'm coming for you Nathalie - hang on." He pulled the photo to his chest and began to rock amidst the rubble, hopelessness dancing tantalizingly in front of him. "I'm coming for you."

The door to his study still closed, he had no way of knowing his trusty butler was around the corner. Pulling a cell phone from his pocket, Alfred hit the speed dial button. "I am so sorry to bother you but I think you need to come home right away."

******  
The dark was almost a comfort to him. It had for so long been a familiar friend, a place where he could hide and be alone with his thoughts. The effort to let go of the darkness had been enormous and exhausting on his part though he had managed to do so. But now he was happy to sink back in to its tempting embrace. All of his senses were heightened- even his sight. Daylight meant hope but darkness was reality and in it he could see things as they really were as opposed to how he wanted them to be. He flipped his phone open and closed, over and over again, watching as the blue light flashed on the keypad. He ran his thumb over the phonebook key watching as familiar numbers, personal and professional, scrolled before him. He wasn't even aware that he had hit the number until her heard the familiar voice, jarring him from his thoughts.

"Pronto?"

He said nothing, the words caught in his throat.

"Hello? Is there anyone there?" Even so far away Brenda's voice was crisp and clear.  
He opened his mouth yet still the words would not come; Noah snapped his phone shut. It was almost sun rise and he had made it through the night, one step at a time.


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 60

Nathalie ran her shackled hands over her face trying to breathe in enough air so she could begin to comprehend what had happened. The last thing she remembered was running towards her back porch before someone grabbed her and her head made contact with something hard. Blacking out, she had no memory of being transported to where they were or how long they had been gone. She remembered coming to, briefly, with Patrick staring at her but everything was hazy after that until she woke up on an exam table. There was a blood pressure cuff on her arm and a man listening to her heart through a stethoscope. Her breathing was shallow as she pulled on her arms only to find herself bound to the table. Seeing another man approach her with a needle she pulled and strained at her bonds desperate to break free but the gun suddenly pressed into her forehead forced her to lie still. In a moment of clarity she knew that this was about her and Patrick was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Whatever happened to her she needed to make sure he got back to his family.

"Are you okay Nat? You're really pale" Patrick remarked, breaking into her thoughts.

"I was drugged" she said quietly.  
"What? Upstairs? What are you symptoms?"

She shook her head. "You asked why your dad was the one giving me my pregnancy results - it's because I was drugged."

"What the hell?" he asked in confusion.

People had all kinds of internal feelings to alert them to danger but she had only one - a hammering heart. After everything she had lived through with her parents and what came before Drew, she had learned to control her panic impulses to the point that she was almost impossible to read. The only way she ever knew she was truly in trouble is if her heart was beating out of her chest. Right now, tied up in the bed, it was thrashing inside her chest. "It's a long story..."

Holding up his cuffed hands, Patrick smiled weakly. "I got nothing but time."

"I don't know all the details but apparently I went for a drink with a guy I met in the oncology ward - we wound up at Jake's and somehow, at some point, he slipped ghb into my drink." The lack of reaction from Patrick told her that the news had shaken him hard. "I guess I was behaving strangely and Coleman, bless him, intervened. He called your dad who took me to the hospital and ran a bunch of tests which told him about the ghb and the baby." She closed her eyes at the memory of waking up in Noah's bed and the abject fear that had invaded her brain when she thought her daughter had died. "Your poor father was stuck babysitting me for a day."

He said nothing at first; instead he just stared at her. "You could have been assaulted" he said quietly.

"I wasn't" she said matter-of-factly. "Thanks to Coleman and your dad."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Frowning, she shook her head. "What is there to tell? I remember nothing - absolutely nothing. You were in Italy - what was I going to do - call you and have you rush home to take care of me?" He shrugged. "Patrick, I am not your wife or your girlfriend and I am not your problem."

"No. You're my friend."

"I'm your obligation."

He furiously held her gaze. "You cannot, after everything we have been through, think that I see you like that." Though he tried, he was unable to keep the hurt from his voice.

"Don't misunderstand me" she said as the fatigue threatened to overtake her. "You are my friend - we are friends - but a large part of what you do is because you think Drew asked you to."

He opened his mouth but there was no reply. Rubbing his hands together, he let out a low sigh. "I love you – I love you like you are my sister and that's all that matters."

She was a ball of pain and his words were like a balm on her wounds. "I'm sorry" she whispered. "I'm a little bit crazy right now."

"It's okay Nat" he reassured her. "But if we're going to get out of here you need to tell me everything you saw upstairs."

Sucking in a breath, she nodded. "They know I'm pregnant, I heard them talking about it." Pausing, she looked over at her friend, taking in his features and reactions. "It's me they want P – something about me or the baby or both. I don't think you were meant to get caught up in this so we need to find a way to get you out and get you back to Robin."

Jumping to his feet he walked as closely to her as the bonds would allow. "I am not leaving you here Nat – no way so get that thought out of your head right now."

"P…"

"Don't 'P' me. What kind of man do you think I am? That I would rush back to my family, to Robin and leave you here in the grips of madmen?" His voice rose with emotion.

"We will never both get out – they have guns and other weapons upstairs – rooms are locked with biometric locks – I can't go more than 10 minutes without wanting to vomit – I will be a liability but you – you can get out. And then you send help."

He shook his head violently. "Either we go together or we stay together but I'm not leaving you."

"Patrick…"

"You don't get it, do you? I thought you were smart but you just don't get it. How many times did you pull me through?"

She closed her eyes. "This isn't about balancing some kind of ledger Patrick."

"No. It's about being the friend to you that you've been to me. Remember the night I showed up on your doorstep – crying and drunk?"

"It was the anniversary of your mom's death" she said quietly.

"Yeah – the fifth anniversary – ironically my dad and I both marked it by getting drunk alone. You and Drew hadn't been together that long and you didn't really know me at all. But there I was a complete, quivering mess in need of Drew to straighten me out and talk me off the ledge."

"You guys talked each other off a lot of ledges"

"Except that night it wasn't Drew – it was you – Drew was working late. You pulled me into the house, forced some food in to me, listened, talked and listened some more. Nathalie, you literally held my hand as I poured my guts out to you and then you took me upstairs and tucked me into bed."

"You were Drew's best friend – what was I going to do?"

"You could have just let me crash on the couch or called Drew and begged him to come home but you didn't. You saw how much pain I was in and you wouldn't leave my side." He sank back to his bed.

"You have so many people depending on you Patrick…"

"As do you – you have Grace and Oliver and Lulu and me and you have Nik." She shook her head. "You do – whatever fight you guys had does not change the fact that that guy is crazy in love with you."

"Patrick…"

"Together Nathalie – we are in this together."

*****  
Robin had just changed Rian's diaper when she heard the insistent ringing of her doorbell. Taking her son in her arms, she padded down the stairs to answer the door. Though she had tossed and turned most of the night, her thoughts of Patrick – always of Patrick, she had snatched a few hours of sleep before Rian woke up hungry and in need of a change.

A sense of relief washed over her as she opened the door. Standing on her stoop, tanned and blue eyes glittering, was her father. "Dad."

He pulled her into his arms, taking care not to squish his grandson. "Hello luv." Robin melted against her father's strong embrace. His mere presence reassured her that they would find her husband and he would be coming home. Rian let out a squawk at being ignored and Robert laughed, taking him from her arms.

"You little beauty" he said admiringly. "Did you think your old gramps would forget you? You're such a big boy now – and so strong too." Rian gurgled and giggled as Robert kissed his chubby cheeks over and over.

"Coffee?" she asked as she led them to the kitchen.

"Sure sweetheart." Robert sat down at the table and bounced his grandson on his knee. "Your mother is on her way as well but she had a longer ways to travel." he offered.

"I'm sorry about…"

Robert raised his hand. "There is no assignment or job that could be more important than this." He studied his daughter's face carefully. There was no evidence of crying and only the slightest hint of lack of sleep. "How are you?"

"Missing my husband" she said, putting the coffee in front of him. "But other than that, fine."

"Do you know any more?"

She shook her head. "Mac said he would come or call as soon as the forensic evidence came through from Nathalie's place."

"And young Cassadine – he thinks this is the work of his grandmother?"

Robin nodded. She did as well or at least she hoped it was because if Helena didn't have them, if this wasn't some sort of revenge plot then they were back at square one. "Nathalie is pregnant."

"Ah" Robert said knowingly. "The Cassadine heir or I guess in this case the Cassadine spare."

"Something like that. I think Patrick might just have been in the wrong place when they came for Nathalie." She pushed back the fear that it meant he was expendable - that Helena wouldn't think twice about hurting him. There would be time enough for dark thoughts later.

The doorbell rang again and Robin got up to answer it. She returned to the kitchen with Mac and Lucky following her. The Scorpio brothers gave each other a warm embrace before Robert put his arm around the son of his best friend. "Scorpios and Spencers, the next generation" he teased. "Well on the Spencer side anyways."

"Har! Har!" Mac groused good-naturedly.

"What do you know?" Robin asked getting straight to the point.

Lucky gave her a sympathetic smile. "We got the blood results back."

"And?"

"There are two different blood types – one unknown and one belonging to Nathalie. There is no blood from Patrick at the scene."

"What does that mean about Patrick?" Robin sat down and took Rian from her father.

Mac put a calming hand on his niece's shoulder. "It means that he is likely unhurt which is a positive. He's strong Robin and he's smart."

"I know" she nodded. "This is good news."

"Any word on the Vampire Cassadine?" Robert asked.

"Helena?" Lucky clarified. Robert nodded. "She is no longer at the facility where he had her placed and based on the information we could gather, which wasn't that much, she got out the day after Nikolas left her there."

"Of course she did" Robert griped. "She can slither between walls and transport herself through space – hell she can alter the time/space continuum if she so chooses." Standing, Robert started to pace as he was apt to do when a plan was formulating in his mind. "We need multiple approaches – she's like a rat on an obstacle course and we need to block off as many of her routes as possible."

"What do you have in mind, brother?" Mac asked, his lips curling into a small smile.

"As soon as Anna gets here tomorrow, we'll finalize the details but in the meantime, I need to go see Prince Cassadine. I need to know everything about the current Cassadine holdings and everything he knows about Helena." He clapped his brother on the shoulder. "You and young Spencer ready to shake off the cobwebs and head on a mission – a real one?"

Mac grinned. "You just say when."

Robert nodded and walked to his daughter. Bending down beside her he held on to Rian's hand. "We are going to get him and bring him home to you – to both of you" Robert said quietly. "You are my daughter and no one, not even the immortal Helena Cassadine can mess with that."

For the first time since it had begun, Robin felt emotions begin to swirl inside her. "I love you dad."

Nodding, he kissed the top of her head. "I'll be back soon."

*****  
He stared at them, inert - unable to move towards them or away. They stood in front of him, mocking him with their false promise of forgetting and numbness. He knew from years of experience that the forgetting was temporary and the numbness never really came. It just wasn't possible to feel nothing though that was the thing he so desperately wanted. Images of Patrick played over and over again in his mind but they were of little comfort. His mind wandered, wondering if his son was scared; had he called out for him or for his mother in a dark moment? Did he know Robin was safe? Did he believe that she would raise an army to come for him? It had been two nights, soon to be three days, since his son was taken and he had no answers, not a single one but the questions were growing exponentially. It had been two nights, soon to be three days, since he had slept. He had gone to work but the moment Alan had seen how haggard he was he had limited him to chart review. Looking back at the table he wished he was stronger, that he could just open the bottles and be done with it. The daily meetings had been no help because he didn't want to drink, he wanted to disappear.

The furious knocking at the door distracted him from the demons in front of him. His watch read 4:12 a.m. and he was filled with dread - only bad news came in the middle of the night. Pushing off from the couch, he padded to the door and braced himself before pulling it open. It had been a fruitless effort for he was wholly unprepared for what lay before him.

"I thought you might need me" Brenda said as she strolled through the door.


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 61

Noah stared in disbelief as Brenda stood in the middle of his living room, shrugging off her coat. Tossing it on the chair, she walked to the floor lamp and flipped it on. She noticed the two large, unopened bottles of scotch on the table but chose to ignore them for the moment. "What are you doing sitting in the dark?" she asked.

He blinked several times before finally closing the door. Shrugging, he walked back to the couch and sank into it. "Why are you here?" he asked quietly, letting his bare feet rest on the edge of the coffee table.

Brenda sat back on her heels on the couch, facing him, the skirt of her dark grey wrap dress splayed out around her. It had been so much easier to come back than she thought it would be. Robin had called to tell her about Patrick and Nathalie and before they had even finished their conversation, Brenda had booked a plane ticket and had Gabriella hastily packing her things. She knew that Robin needed her but she also knew that Noah would need her more. All she had been waiting for since she left Port Charles was an opportunity to return and now she had it. Jax had arranged a room for her at the MetroCourt and after a quick phone call to Robin, she headed straight to Noah's. Looking at him in his battered jeans and black wifebeater , staring straight ahead she knew she was right to come back. "I thought you might need me" she repeated.

Closing his eyes he could smell the soft heat of her ginger and cinnamon soap. In a fit of desperation, he had sought out a bottle of her body wash at a store but when he opened it to smell it he was disappointed that it didn't smell the same – it was missing her. Opening his eyes, they remained fixed on the two bottles in front of him. Brenda moved closer to him and putting one hand over his, traced her fingers over his brow. "My son is missing" he said hoarsely.

"I know" she replied softly.

He swallowed thickly as the mere act of saying the words out loud ripped at his heart. Brenda's hand on his sent electricity coursing through his body and the nearness of her made it hard to breathe. "Nathalie too" he added.

"I know" she repeated as she continued to stroke his face and his hair. "I'm so sorry Noah."

"Why?" he asked flatly. "Did you take them?" His pain was coming off him in waves.

Brenda ignored the comment. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"What's going on there?" she asked nodding at the bottles.

"That" he pointed to the first one "is a bottle of 18 year old Glenfiddich Single Malt. And that" he pointed to the bottle beside it "is a bottle of 12 year old Jameson Irish Whiskey."

"Why do you have two?" she asked quietly. She felt his tightly coiled body relax slightly as she ran her fingers lightly through his hair.

"They're very different drinks. The Irish and the Scots have such different approaches to whiskey – the Scots distill it once but the Irish – they like to do it three times."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"To be sure, to be sure, to be sure" he joked weakly. Brenda smiled as she moved closer to him. "Whiskies, the really good ones, are like children – they may belong to one family but each one is unique. The Glenfiddich, it has this hint of apple to it and it's a large taste – big in your mouth" he said reverently "but it's so smooth going down. It's the sweetest taste. And the Jameson's - well it's a little bolder – hot and spicy even. It leaves a little reminder in your throat long after you've finished your drink."

"You haven't opened them."

"Yet" he clarified. "I haven't opened them yet." His hand moved to her hip, his fingers pulling at the soft knit of her dress.

Feeling his hand on her, feeling the way the tips of his fingers grazed against her, set her heart fluttering. "You don't have to open them at all" she countered quietly.

In one swift motion, Noah pulled her from where she was on to his lap. Both of his hands rested on her hips as she ran her thumbs over his brows. Her brown eyes looked so warm and inviting, all he wanted to do was dive in. "I'm scared" he whispered. Looking past her, his eyes fell again on the temptresses on the table.

Turning her head, Brenda followed his gaze. "What do you want to do?" she asked, looking back at them.

He sucked in a breath. "I want to taste them" he said simply. "Just taste them."

She pressed her lips against his, sucking on them gently. "Taste me instead" She kept her lips hovering over his. She succeeded in pulling his attention away from the bottles and back to her.

"Brenda" he said hoarsely against her mouth. Their first kiss in more than a month was not fiery or hot but rather comforting and warm.

Pulling back slightly she trailed the pads of her fingers along the dark circles under his eyes. "You haven't slept."

"Can't." He couldn't take his eyes from her.

"Let's get you to bed" she said, making a move off his lap. Noah gripped her hips and continued to stare at her as his breath came in shallow spurts. Sliding from his lap to the far end of the sofa, Brenda pulled him with her and brought his head to rest in the crook of her neck. With one hand on the back of his head, she snaked the other around his waist bringing him closer to her. Breathing in her scent as he held tightly to her he let the fatigue wash over him. "Close your eyes Noah" she said softly as she pressed her lips into his forehead.

Doing as he was told, he slept for the first time in two days, in the safety of Brenda's arms.

******  
Alfred opened the door to the study and she gasped at the destruction. "Where is he now?" Alexis asked.

"Upstairs in his private office."

"Thank you." Alexis said as she walked lithely up the stairs. Outside Nikolas' small office, she pushed the door back, leaned into the door fram and took in the scene before her. There was small overnight bag by the door and Nikolas was turning the combination lock to his safe. She watched as he removed a strong box from the safe. Placing it on the table, her eyes widened as he removed a handgun and ammunition. "Going somewhere?"

He looked up in surprise. "Alexis" he said tightly. "What brings you by?"

"Sorry nephew but I asked first. Going somewhere?" she nodded to his overnight bag.

"Virginia"

She nodded. "Going hunting while you're there?"

Nikolas placed his gun inside his jacket pocket. "Do you need something?"

"Do you?"

"Alexis" he sighed deeply "I don't have time for games at the moment - is there something you need?"

She walked into the room and took hold of his hands. "Nikolas - what is going on?"

"Nathalie is pregnant, Helena is free and she's kidnapped Nat and Patrick Drake."

"Helena is in Virginia?" Alexis asked, not following him.

"No. Nathalie's parents are" he said shaking free from her hands. His entire face was dark with simmering rage. After spending hours in the dark of his destroyed study he picked himself up and dusted off his clothes, ready to do whatever needed to be done to bring Nathalie home.

"Nikolas" Alexis' voice was commanding and forced him to look up. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go get Oliver from her parents. When I bring my fiance - my girlfriend - when I bring Nathalie home - her kids need to be here - she needs to have her family with her."

"Nikolas" she began cautiously, "there is a court order..."

"SO?" he challenged. "So what? Why am I the only one playing by the rules Alexis? Helena doesn't play by the rules - she just takes what she wants. Nathalie's parents? They just took what they wanted regardless of the cost. Well know it's my turn" his voice shook with emotion as he slammed his hand on to the small oak desk. "I am GOING to get Nathalie back and I don't care what the cost."

Alexis flinched having never seen such fury in her young nephew. "How can I help?" Nikolas smiled at her, giving a hint of the polite, mannered man she knew him to be. Pulling a photo from a folder he handed it to Alexis. "That's Nathalie" she remarked.

He nodded. "And that guy is someone who is a ringer for her dead husband. Helena is behind this - I know it. I need to know who he is, what he does and what his connection to Helena is."

Alexis nodded. "I'm on it."

"Thank you." Picking up his bag, Nikolas headed for the door. "I'll be back, with Oliver in a day."

"Do you really need the gun?"

Nikolas fixed her with a look. "I'll see you soon. Thank you for your help."

Alexis watched as he disappeared down the stairs. She pulled her cell phone from her purse. "It's Alexis. He's on his way to Virginia - he needs to be watched.....okay, thanks."

*****  
Brenda stared at Noah asleep in her arms and realized that feeling his body next to hers, entwined with hers, was the most natural feeling in the world. She had shared beds with many men including some that she loved passionately, that she thought she would love forever, but nothing ever felt as right as being with Noah.

She pressed her lips against his hair, watching as his chest rose and fell in a slow, steady rhythm. His face had contorted and relaxed throughout the few hours that he had been asleep and Brenda wished she could completely remove his struggles from him. In the months they had been together he had been so open and shared so much of himself – his fears, his love for his son, his hope that everything was possible now that they were back in each other's lives that she understood how Patrick's disappearance rocked him to his core. She envied his love of his son, wishing her father had loved her in such a way. Noah was a good man, an honourable man and she knew first hand how rare those qualities really were.

As the sunlight crept in through window he stirred against her shoulder, nuzzling her neck. She bit her lip to keep from moaning from the contact of his lips on her skin. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at her in surprise. "Hi there" she said softly as she ran her hand through his hair.

"You're here" he said in disbelief.

She smiled. "I am."

"I thought…I thought I dreamed you" he stammered slightly, "like before."

Brenda pulled his lips with hers. "Nope – I'm real."

His fingers ran down her side as he propped himself up on his hand. "I can't believe you came."

"I can't believe I didn't come sooner" she said honestly. "Noah – about before…."

Shaking his head, he cut her off. "Not now" he said kindly. "There's plenty of time to sort through that – at least I hope there is – how long are you staying?"

Closing her eyes as she chewed on her lip she prayed she hadn't miscalculated. "As long as you want me to." She opened one eye and then the other and was greeted by the faintest of smiles on his face and warmth in his eyes.

"Then we have time." He attached his lips to the soft, warm skin and began to suckle.

"Noah" she whispered breathlessly.

Lifting his head, he searched her face. "Oh" Scrambling to his feet, he ran his hand over his stubbly cheeks.

"Noah?" Brenda asked unsure of what had just happened.

"That was uh…" he shook his head trying to find some lucidity. "that was awfully presumptuous of me. I'm sorry."

"What? Wait…what?" Jumping to her feet, she doubled over in pain as the muscles in her legs seized up.

Noah lunged forward, grabbing hold of her before she hit the ground. Easing her on to the couch, he took her legs in his lap and massaged the cramped calves. "Your legs are cramped – no doubt as a result of me sleeping on top of you." He kept his gaze on her legs, unable to look at her.

"I wasn't complaining." Brenda grimaced as the muscles loosened under his expert hands. "Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"Noah, look at me" she commanded. Reluctantly, he lifted his eyes to meet hers. "What just happened?"

"Your legs cramped up from being in the same position for too long."

Rolling her eyes, she let out a loud snort. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I didn't mean to assume that you had come back to me….to us."

Placing her hand over his, she forced him to be still and listen. "Noah – I came back to you – in whatever way you want me back – if it's as a friend that's fine – if it's as a lover and a partner even better. I know I hurt you – I know it. I've done many unforgivable things in my life but taking advantage of your kindness and your feelings for me when you are vulnerable would be the worst thing I could ever do."

Noah looked at the ground as he absorbed her words. They were certainly at a crossroads and if he was going to move forward, if they were going to move forward, he needed an answer to one question. Raising his eyes he held her gaze for several seconds. "Do you love me?"

Her eyes filled with tears as she realized the time had come to acknowledge out loud what had been in her heart for months. "I do – very much" she said hoarsely. "I love you Noah – I'm IN love with you - I love you so much I don't know what to do with all these feelings." Unable to hold back any longer, several tears trickled down her face.

"Brenda."

She shrugged. "I've felt this way for a long time but I couldn't say it – any time I've said it, it's ended badly. Love makes some people see straight – it confuses me – it's like I lose control or lose myself. I can't lose myself any more or I might never find myself again."

Noah stretched beside her on the couch, letting his fingers rest on her arm. "Do you lose yourself with me?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "I think.." Wiping furiously at her tears, she inhaled deeply and started again. "I think I met myself with you."

"And that scared you."

"And that terrified me."

"And so you ran."

"And it changed nothing. I like who I am when I'm with you – my life is just less without you."

"And you love me."

She nodded slowly as a smile crept across her face. "A whole lot."

Linking their fingers together, he moved his mouth closer to hers. "I love you – nothing can change that."

Cupping his face, Brenda crashed her mouth on to his, seizing his lips. Noah coaxed her lips apart and slid his tongue inside her mouth. She moaned as their tongues tangled. He ran his hands tentatively down her side, his thumbs grazing her nipples. Brenda threaded her hands through his hair pushing her body against his. Noah inhaled her scent, making his body ache with the familiarity of it. As their kiss deepened, gentleness gave way to passion. Fumbling with the ties on her dress Noah finally managed to get them undone, letting it fall open. He gazed adoringly at her as his hands became reacquainted with her soft, supple skin. Dipping his head, he buried it between her breasts leaving a hot, wet kiss just above her bra. Overcome by the need to touch his skin, Brenda groped at the hem of his tank top, peeling it from his body and tossing it to the side. Pushing him flush against the back of the couch, Brenda covered his chest in soft, delicate kisses. Noah shivered as her lips worked across his skin. Reaching behind her, he flicked her bra clasp open and gently pulled it from her. Freeing her breasts, he slowly massaged them and Brenda felt the heat pool between her legs. She ran her hand over his growing arousal eliciting a moan.

Noah pushed her back against the couch and lowered his head to her breast sucking her nipple into his mouth. "Oh god Noah." she hissed. She squirmed underneath him as his arousal pressed against her. Her hands moved between them, making quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans. Noah sighed as they were pushed over his hips and his erection sprang forth. Their hands and mouths moved over each other in a controlled frenzy, both needing to touch and taste. Their bodies recognized each other as both felt suddenly brought to life from the contact. She parted her legs as he trailed his fingers up her inner thigh. Pushing her panties to the side, he slipped a finger inside her slick passage. Brenda bucked, raising her hips from the couch and silently pleading for more. Noah assaulted her neck while slipping a second finger inside. Locking on to his eyes, Brenda started to ride his hand, her hips undulating against his touch.

"You are so beautiful Brenda" he whispered. "And I love you so much."

Brenda bit her lip as her walls tightened and clenched around his fingers, her hands roaming over his chest. Having dreamt of him and fantasized about him for weeks she knew her orgasm was not far."Noah" she pleaded.

Smiling, he caputred her lips again in hot, languid kiss. He removed her panties with one hand while hers closed around his cock, pumping him slowly. Noah gently moved her hand out of the way and entered her causing Brenda to gasp as he filled her. He stroked her face as he slowly moved in and out of her. He watched her, kissed her, ready to drown in her love. Lifting a leg, she wrapped it around his hip pulling him deeper inside her. They moved in unison, their bodies joined as if they were meant to be. Her eyes were hazy with lust as her orgasm built inside her. Noah's pace hastened as he worked his tongue along the soft skin of her neck and collar bone. She stilled and then shuddered as she came, crying his name as she did so. Her climax gave way to his, ripping through his body and providing him a release that he had been craving for more than a month.

Noah collapsed on top of her, breathless. She stroked his hair, covering his cheek and shoulder with soft kisses. Lifting his head he pressed his lips against hers. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded, smiling. "Of course I am - I'm home."


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter 62

Ethan dangled a piece of muffin in front of Lulu, pulling it away as she moved to take it. "Too slow" he teased.

"Depriving your girlfriend of food after forcing her to work up such an appetite is a mean thing to do" she pouted in jest.

"Forcing?" he asked as his blue eyes danced, "forcing? You seemed more than willing to…er…" he looked around the diner to see if anyone was listening. Leaning over the table he brought his mouth close to hers "to exercise" he grinned.

As Ethan moved in to kiss her, Lulu reached for the piece of muffin and popped it in her mouth. "Now who's too slow?" she teased.

Linking his fingers through hers, he pressed his lips against hers. "You're a bad girl."

"You have no idea" she said playfully.

Leaning back in his chair but keeping hold of her hand, he grinned. "Oh I think I have some idea. And I'm fairly certain those dog walkers in Central Park have some idea as well."

Her cheeks flushed at the memory. Ethan had been emotionally drained following his revelation about his mother's murder. Lulu had taken him to bed where he slept for nearly 12 hours. Realizing upon waking that the world had not fallen in around him and that Lulu had stayed, he proposed a quick two-day trip to New York and his old stomping grounds. They had thrown some things in their knapsacks, bought train tickets and hit the road. Ethan showed her his city – his favourite diner, the outdoor rink where he played pick up hockey and his favourite bench in Central Park. Stealing kisses on the bench turned in to a full on make out session which the locals greeted with calls for the young couple to get a room but they had been oblivious to the protests. Their time away had only reconfirmed the growing feelings they had for each other.

She played with his fingers as they gazed lovingly at each other. There were no words exchanged just giggles and knowing glances. For Lulu it felt as though time stood still for her and she was living in one prolonged perfect moment. Reaching for her coffee she did a double take as a familiar figure came through the door of Kelly's.

"Brenda?" she called out.

Shoving her sunglasses up on to her head, Brenda smiled and walked over. "Hey Lu – just came to get some coffee – the jet lag is killing me – can you believe his coffee machine has been broken for three months and he's never bothered to fix it? I promised him I'd bring a coffee back for him as well and then I'm headed to Robin's – I'm worried about her – she seems too in control and too strong – I mean it's been three days since Patrick's gone and she hasn't cried yet."

Ethan felt Lulu's hand tighten in his as he looked from the raven-haired beauty to his girlfriend.

"Brenda – wait – slow down – whose coffee machine is broken and what do you mean Patrick's gone?"

Brenda's stomach dropped as she realized that Lulu had no idea what was going on with Patrick and Nathalie. "Lu –have you spoken to your brother lately?"

She shook her head. "We were out of town for a few days and just got back – Brenda –you're scaring me."

Brenda slid into the seat beside Ethan and smiled at him. "Hi, I'm Brenda Barette."

"Ethan Young" he said.

She nodded. "I know. And I reserve the right to grill you later." He gave her a small smile. "Lulu" she took a deep breath. "Patrick and Nathalie have been kidnapped"

The crash of Lulu's coffee mug on the floor echoed throughout the diner. Her hand trembled slightly in Ethan's and he ran his thumb along her palm in an effort to calm her. "What do you mean kidnapped? Who? What's the ransom?"

"Nikolas hasn't called you?" Brenda asked feeling very badly about breaking the news to her.

Reaching for her phone, she flipped it open and scrolled through the missed calls and text messages. "No, nothing."

"Maybe you should call him."

"Or maybe you should tell me what's going on right now" her voice rose with impatience.

"Hey" Brenda said softly, "I'm on your side."

"Sorry" she said sheepishly. "How is it that no one called me?"

"I'm sorry Lu – I'm sure Nik meant to."

"Whatever" she sniffed. "Tell me everything you know – starting with who has them."

"Robert and Mac think it's Helena." Brenda watched as the shock and then understanding registered with her friend.

"Why…why would Helena want them?" She thought back to all the occasions that her brother had warned her about the dangers of his grandmother and how she would stop at nothing to get what she wanted.

Brenda sighed heavily, resenting that neither Nikolas nor Lucky recognized that their sister was a grown woman who deserved to be told things as they happened and not some little girl to be protected. "Nathalie is pregnant and I guess Helena found out."

Blowing the air out of her cheeks, she slumped back against her chair. "She's pregnant AND Helena has her? Nik is going to go mental" she said quietly.

"Who is Helena?" Ethan asked.

"Nikolas' crazy grandmother" Lulu answered quickly.

"More like Nikolas' violent and psychopathic grandmother" Brenda corrected. "And she's obsessed with Cassadine babies."

"Why would she take Patrick?"

Brenda shrugged. "Not sure – wrong place, wrong time I guess. Robert's on the case and Anna is on her way."

Lulu shook her head. "I don't…she TOOK Nathalie and Patrick?"

Brenda nodded. "It appears that way."

Lulu looked from Ethan to Brenda trying desperately to comprehend how everything turned upside down quite so quickly. "Where is Gracie?"

Brenda frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean – where is Grace – her mother is missing, her favourite person in the whole world is missing, my brother appears to be awol – where is Gracie?"

"I thought she was in the hospital…"

"Jesus" Ethan swore under his breath. "She's all alone at the hospital…"

"Wondering why no one is coming to see her" Lulu stood up quickly. "Can you tell Robin I'll call her soon? Someone needs to go be with Grace."

Brenda nodded. "I'm sorry Lu – I really thought you knew or I never would have blurted it out like that."

"I'm just glad I know." Lulu pulled her jacket on and headed towards the door. Stopping for a moment she turned back and called to her friend. "Bren?"

"Yeah?"

"Whose coffee machine is broken?"

A smile slowly spread across her face as she winked at her friend before turning back to the counter to place her order.

"That's what I thought" Lulu called to her as they headed out the door.

****  
Robin watched as her father's contractors brought box after box in to her house to set up a command post. Robert had been unsuccessful in reaching Nikolas but had managed to speak with Alexis and was off to meet with another contact in hopes of gathering more intelligence regarding Helena. In the meantime, he had instructed his men to establish a security perimeter around Robin's house, assign a watch patrol to her and Rian and to bring in all the equipment necessary to run the operation from Robin's house. Her uncle Mac had been in regular contact with her over the last 72 hours but the leads for the PCPD were drying up – they had discovered all they were going to about the abduction of Nathalie and Patrick. Helena did not operate like a common criminal and it would take a specialized team to find her.

Sitting on the stairs watching the flurry of activity, she rubbed her belly. Whatever morning sickness she had disappeared when Patrick did, almost as if their child knew his mother needed all of her strength. Though her thoughts had been almost exclusively of Patrick, they did drift, from time to time, to Nathalie. She couldn't imagine being pregnant and being held captive, away from the man she loved. The only consolation, and it was a small one, was that Helena was unlikely to hurt Nathalie until after the baby was born. Robin expected them to be home long before that if she had to join the mission herself to ensure that happened.

Sleep had remained intermittent – more like a series of naps than any real deep slumber. The researcher in her was fascinated at how quickly having Patrick with her had become second nature. She made too much coffee in the morning, too much food for dinner and she had even phoned him last night – it wasn't until she heard his cell phone ringing in the kitchen that she remembered that he was unreachable.

The noise from computers being assembled and the tracking equipment warming up began to grate on her nerves. Alan had insisted she take a few days off before even considering returning to work but the lack of work, the lack of distraction was making her antsy. Bounding up the stairs, she went to her son's room and gathered him up. Dressing him warmly enough for the cool spring air, Robin grabbed her jacket and settled him in his stroller.

She sang quietly to him as they walked to the park. He remained a happy baby but she was sure he could sense that something was off. Every time he heard a man's voice his eyes seemed to search the room as though looking for his father. Concept of time for babies was very different than for adults but what she didn't know was whether Rian felt like his father had been gone for 10 minutes or 10 years. Until Patrick came home, she would need to hug him enough, kiss him enough and love him enough for both of them. Parking the stroller on the still frozen grass, Robin took her son from the stroller and walked to the swings.

Settling him on her lap, she wrapped her arm around his waist and swung gently. Rian, with new teeth coming through on an almost daily basis, chewed on his favourite stuffed dog. She pointed out the birds and kissed his cheek as he squealed and squirmed as a squirrel approached them. Fascinated by the squirrel, Rian threw his dog at him to get his attention.

"Rian, that's not very nice" Robin chided him gently. "Poor Mr. Squirrel thought you were trying to hurt him."

"I'm sure the squirrel has survived worse" the man said, handing the dog back to Robin.

"I'm sure he has too" she laughed. "I guess the violent streak starts young in baby boys."

"It just gets them warmed up for ponytail pulling and putting worms in girls' hair."

Robin smiled. "Sounds like you speak from experience – so which is it – do you have a son or are you a reformed ponytail puller?"

He raised his hands. "I plead the fifth"

Robin watched the stranger in front of her carefully, struck by his familiarity. "Have we met?"

He smiled at her. "You work at the hospital, don't you?"

She nodded. "Do you?"

"No – I've just been spending a lot of time there. I'm Anthony Waters" he said extending his hand.

"Your name seems very familiar. Robin Scorpio-Drake." she said shaking it.

"We may have crossed paths" he smiled, trying not to shudder at the inclusion of Patrick's name. "And who is this little guy?"

"This" Robin grinned, unable to keep the pride from her voice. "is Rian."

"Nice to meet you Rian" Anthony said, touching his head. "I should get going – it was nice to see you….er..again."

"You too – maybe we'll see you at the hospital."

"I hope so" he grinned before walking away.

Robin watched him walk across the park, aware that something about him made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

"Come on little man" she said as she got up from the swing. "Let's go see if there's news about daddy." Robin took one last look at Anthony's departing frame before strapping Rian into his stroller for the walk home.


	65. Chapter 65

Chapter 63

Brenda smiled to herself as Noah's hand enveloped hers. It had only been 18 hours since she had arrived on his doorstep and in many ways it felt like she had never left. It was the little things with Noah that made her heart soar - the way he always massaged her hand as he held it, his insistence at kissing off her lip gloss as soon as she applied it or the way he always reached for her in bed. The sex between them was good, great even but it was the every day moments, the smaller expressions of love that gave her a happiness not previously experienced. She struggled with feeling so much joy in the midst of such sadness and fear and knew that she needed to keep her on both her best friend and her boyfriend. It had only been three days since Nathalie and Patrick were taken - true despair had yet to set in and Brenda resolved to support them as they had supported her when she needed it. "You okay?" she asked as they walked up Robin's driveway.

Squeezing her hand, he gave her a small smile. "I'm better than I was." Reaching for the doorbell with his free hand, he stopped suddenly as Brenda slipped a key in to the lock. "You have a key?"

She nodded. "Part of the best friend rules. She has a key to my place in Rome- not that she ever uses it but you never know when a key might come in handy - keys are a good thing." Suddenly flashing back to Noah's Valentine's gift of a key to his apartment, she blushed to her roots. "I..uh..." her chest seized and her breathing became ragged.

Lowering his head, he pressed his lips against her cheek near her ear. "Breathe" he whispered. "It's okay."

Closing her eyes, Brenda took a deep, steadying breath. "Okay" she nodded. "But we will talk about it."

"We will - later."

Brenda opened the door and called out as they walked in. "Robs? It's Brenda."

Robin came from the kitchen and smirked as she saw Noah helping Brenda off with her coat. "Funny seeing you two together" she said.

Letting go of Noah's hand Brenda rushed to her friend and wrapped her arms around her. "I am so sorry Robs - I really am."

Robin relaxed slightly in the warm embrace of her friend who had seen her through so much. "Thanks Bren. I'm so glad you came."

The two women held hands as they walked to the kitchen with Noah following behind. Brenda squealed as she saw Rian sitting in his high chair. "Hello godson!" she said as she scooped him up and covered his face in kisses. Robin handed her his bottle and Brenda settled in to a chair to get reacquainted with Rian.

"I was just going to make a snack for him - would you guys like anything?"

Noah watched her carefully, knowing she was the only person who missed Patrick more than he did. He needed to watch out for her, he needed Patrick to know that no matter what happened he could be counted on to take care of the two people who meant everything to him. She looked tired but not moreso than usual but what bothered him was her calmness. Though Robin was normally an even-keeled person, she struck him as being too calm, too steady. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you let me do that?"

She smiled as she looked at her father-in-law. "It's okay Noah."  
He gently pushed her to the side, taking the spoon from her hand. "Why don't you and Brenda get caught up and I'll make Rian's snack."

Robin put her hand on his arm. "How are you doing Noah?"

"Probably about as well as you."

She smiled knowingly. "Okay then." Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, she motioned to Brenda to join her in the family room. Rising from the chair with Rian in her arms, Brenda touched Noah on the hip as she passed him ; turning his head he winked at her.

Settling in to the couch, Brenda held Rian closely to her breathing in his baby scent. "How are you feeling Robin?"

Robin shrugged. "My husband is being held hostage by a psycho, so relatively speaking" she smiled weakly, "I'm okay."

Her friend rolled her eyes. "Your mommy thinks I don't know when she's lying" Brenda whispered loudly to Rian. "But remember baby boy, Brenda knows everything - Brenda knows all." Rian giggled as Brenda's breath tickled his skin.

"I'm fine Brenda - really."

"How about the new baby - how are you feeling with that? Are your meds okay?"

Nodding, Robin instinctively ran her hand over her belly. "Meds are fine - I'm really fine Brenda. My dad is on the case - Patrick and Nathalie will be home soon."

Brenda furrowed her brow watching Robin. She had always admired her confidence and her faith in things unseen but she wondered if Robin was somehow in denial, failing to understand just how serious the situation was. "I told Lulu"

"Told Lulu what?" Noah asked as he joined them in the living room. He handed a bowl of mushed cereal to Brenda to feed Rian and set down a plate with cheese, crackers and fruit.

Robin looked at Noah in surprise. "You put that together?" she asked admiring the artistic layout of the food.

He shrugged. "I can do more with my hands than barbecue a steak, you know."

"Oh yes he can" Brenda muttered. Looking up at their shocked faces, she batted her eyelashes. "What?"

"Good thing Patrick's not here - his head would explode" Robin said unthinkingly. Her mouth hung open with the realization of what she just said. "That's not what I meant" she stammered.

Noah reached for her hand. "We know Robin. It's okay." She squeezed Noah's hand in gratitude, struck for a moment at how similar his hand was to Patrick's. They felt about the same size and both possessed long, nimble fingers. "What did you tell Lulu?" Noah asked Brenda.

"About Patrick and Nathalie. I bumped in to her at Kelly's with Ethan and can you believe that neither Nik nor Lucky had told her?" she huffed. "There I am blurting out all over the place and she had NO idea."

"Poor Lulu" Robin said quietly as she reached for a piece of apple.

"Her and Ethan were off to visit Grace and tell her something about why her mom isn't around."

"Grace thinks her mother has the flu" Noah said. The two women looked at him in surprise. "What?"

"You told Grace about Nathalie?" Robin asked curiously.

"I go and see her after rounds and when I was with her yesterday, I told her that Nathalie had the flu and the doctors wouldn't let her visit but that she loved her very, very much."

"What will you do when the flu excuse doesn't work anymore?" Brenda asked.

Noah's eyes darkened at her question. "They'll be home by then Brenda. This is just a temproray thing. There is no reason for that poor child to know that her mother is missing. As if Nathalie hasn't endured enough" he said frustratedly. Brenda looked from Noah to Robin, surprised at Noah's sudden burst of passion. The doorbell rang and ended any further conversation on the subject. Robin moved to answer it but Noah stood up first. "I'll get it - you stay put."

He smiled as he opened the door. "Anna."

Walking through the door, she kissed his cheek. "I wish this were under better circumstances" she said, taking off her coat and hanging it up.

"Me too."

"How are you Noah?"

"I'm okay, thanks for asking." Noah was running out of answers to that question. His son was missing - taken for some reason known only by his captor - he didn't have the vocabularly to describe his feelings and even if he did, what difference would it make if could articulate his feelings, it would change nothing. All that mattered was getting his son and his friend home and back to their families. At a loss to understand why Helena would have taken his son, he had been tempted to ask Robert if there was any value in offering himself up as bait - one Drake for another. He decided to table his offer for another day - a day when desperate times would call for desperate measures; he just hoped that day never came.

"How is my daughter?" Anna asked quietly, as she tried to gather as much intelligence as she could.

Noah gave her a reassuring smile. "She's hanging in but I'm sure she'll be relieved to have you here." Anna nodded and headed to the living room.

Robin sensed her before she heard her. Looking up from her conversation with Brenda, her heart skipped when she saw her mother standing in the doorway. "Mom" she said softly.

"My luv" Anna said, crossing the room with her arms outstretched.

A few of the tears that Robin had been keeping at bay trickled down her face. "I'm pregnant" she blurted as she dove into her mother's welcoming arms.

******

"You're awfully quiet." Patrick stared at his friend as she sat unmoving on her bed. Nathalie, he had noticed over the years, had a remarkable ability to be completely still. It was one of the reasons why Drew was attracted to her and why Patrick had often sought her company over the years -she could calm even the most frenetic of people just by being in the same room. He understood now, in a way he never had before, that being still, being quiet, was also a survival technique for her.

"Do you think they know?" she asked softly.

"Who?"

"Robin, Nikolas, your dad - do you think they know we're missing?"

Patrick grimaced at Nathalie's question. He had been asking himself the same thing for hours and was trying hard not to drive himself crazy wondering what about their reactions. He knew Robin would kick into gear, that she would make phone calls and demand action by anyone and everyone. Robin was one of those people you wanted in a crisis - he had seen first hand during the epidemic how she could cut through all the extraneous noise and distractions and get straight to the problem. Once she identified the problem then she worked on the solution; she was methodical and determined - two qualities that would see her through this. He did worry about the impact of this on her pregnancy -on both of their children. "We've been gone for more than seven hours" he said pulling his watch from his pocket. "They know."

"I hope someone is with Gracie - god I wouldn't even care at this point if it were my parents - I just don't want her to be alone."

"Do you know that my dad visits with her every day?"

Nathalie looked at him in surprise. "I didn't - I mean I knew that he had been to see her a few times..."

"Every day" Patrick repeated. "He's brought her icepops and the other day I saw him in there reading to her."

She grinned, truly moved by the revelation. "Your father is an amazing man Patrick."

"I finally get that now" he admitted. "I could never see past the bottle to truly understand him but now I see him - really see him."

"That's good" she said quietly. Her hand moved back to her belly, the chains clanging against the metal bed frame as she did so.

"You should try and sleep." Patrick pulled his long, lean legs underneath him. His rolled his wrists inside the cuffs to keep the circulation going and prevent them from cramping.

"I'm not tired."  
"Liar."

She flashed him a small smile. "You need some rest as well - why don't we sleep in shifts - you first."

He shook his head. "You always want to get your way, don't you?"

"Not want, do" she replied.

"What are you, Yoda?" he teased. "Speaking the secret language of Jedis?"

"Is that a crack about me being short there stretch?"

"Between you and Robin I feel like Gulliver among the Liliputians."

"Maybe we're not the abnormal ones - maybe you are."

He rolled his eyes, smiling. "Whatever." He looked at his watch again. "You really should sleep."

"So should you" she countered.

"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" He rubbed the fatigue from his face.

"It's a short trip" she teased. Pausing she sucked in a breath. "Patrick..."

His head snapped up at the sudden seriousness in her tone and looked over at her. "Yeah, Nat?"

"If there is an opportunity - if there is a chance to escape - I want you to take it - you have to take it."

Patrick groaned as he flopped back against the pillows. "Not this again."

"I'm serious P - you cannot wait for me if there's chance - you just have to go."

Swinging his legs over the bed, he leaned forward and stared at her. "Are you giving up?"

"Pardon?"

"Are you giving up? Because just before all this" he motioned around their prison "you were in the middle of a meltdown. You were saying some really scary things. So my question to you is, are you insisting I leave without you because you're giving up?"

She chewed on her bottom lip and shook her head. "No" she said hoarsely. "I'm not giving up but I do want us to be realistic..."

Their conversation ended as the door squeaked open. Both sat silently as the same three men descended the stairs. Nathalie stiffened as the men approached her bed. Grabbing her by the wrists, the first man pulled her back into a lying position as he unlocked her cuffs. As the second man moved to pick her up, she kicked and thrashed, clocking him on the chin with her foot.

"You fucking bitch!" he hissed as he lunged towards her. "I'll make you pay." Her hands suddenly freed, Nathalie sprang to her feet and smashed her fist in the face of the approaching captor.

Jumping from his bed, Patrick strained at the chains as he tried to reach her to help. With adrenaline coursing through his body, he was oblivious to the small cuts the metal cuffs were leaving around his wrists. "Leave her alone!" he yelled, his arms flailing in their restraints.

The third man turned to him furiously. "SIT DOWN" he yelled, slapping Patrick across the face. He ignored the red, stinging welt forming on his face. Chaos ensued as Nathalie threw anything she could get her hands on at the two aggressors. She landed a second blow but the third one was stopped as she was grabbed by the wrist and her hand bent back causing her to sink to her knees as she cried out in pain. Patrick made another lunge towards her and was stunned as he felt a fist plow into his cheek. He reeled backwards and collapsed on his bed, gasping for air.

"Patrick!" Nathalie cried to him but he was too breathless to speak. One of the men picked her up and threw her over his shoulder carrying her up the stairs. He tried to call her name as he watched her disappear but couldn't get the words out before everything turned black.


	66. Chapter 66

Chapter 64

Nathalie struggled and kicked against her captor but made little progress in trying to free herself. The man walking behind them pulled her head up hard by her hair and glared at her. "Calm the fuck down or I will calm you down" he hissed. A cold sweat trickled down Nathalie's back as she looked in to his brown eyes - they were vacant and cold and she knew then thay he would do anything he needed to do to acheive his objective, whatever that may be. She stopped squirming as they entered a different room from the one she had previously been in. She was stunned as the man carrying her placed her on the table with relative gentleness. Blinking several times as her eyes adjusted to the bright lights she tried to take in her surroundings; two men stood by the door watching her every move. A cursory glance around revealed the room to be an exam room - there was a bright overhead light, a scale and an ultrasound machine among other things. Her eyes fell on the metal stirrups at the end of the table and she instincitvely pulled her knees to her chest.

The door flew open and a young man in a lab coat entered nodding perfunctorily to the two guards. "Hi Nathalie" he said kindly. She stared past him at a spot on the wall trying to memorize every minute details of that particular spot. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he flipped open a chart. Nathalie pulled her knees in tighter to her chest in an attempt to make herself as small as possible. The doctor pulled a gown from a drawer and placed it beside her on the table. "I'll need you to change in to that so I can exam you."

Meeting his eyes for the first time she fixed him with a glare. "No."

The doctor sank to the stool in front of her. "Nathalie, I am going to exam you - there is no choice here - the choice you do have is whether you change in to the gown or one of these guys" he motioned behind him, "changes you. It's entirely up to you but I would be tempted to go with door number one."

Nathalie looked from the doctor's kind but determined face to the two menacing guards at the door and knew that he was right. She hated having to give in on anything so soon but did as she was told. Keeping her eyes on the wall behind the doctor, she stripped out of her clothes and pulled the cotton gown on. Trying to block out the sound of the stirrups being adjusted, she took several deep breaths and thought of her children. Her mind drifted to Oliver's first, unsteady steps and Grace's infectious laugh - she needed to survive to get back to them and was willing to do what it took to ensure that.

The doctor reached for her legs to place them in the holders and Nathalie swallowed back the bile that was rising in her throat. "This is going to be a little cold" he announced as he slid the speculum inside her. Her entire body tensed and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out. "It will be a lot easier on you if you relax" he said.

Nathalie glared at him. "Really? Perhaps I could interest you in a rectal exam against your will? Asshole" she spat. "What you are doing right now is unconsciounable and tantamount to sexual assualt."

"I am a doctor performing an exam" he said tapping her inner thighs. "Just relax"

"Fuck you." She stared at the ceiling and willed the tears from her eyes. This would be over soon enough and she just needed to get through it.

"Nathalie, when was your last period?" She continued to stare at the ceiling. "Nathalie?"

Lifting her head she smiled sweetly at him. "I'm sorry" she said kindly "You must not have heard me, I said fuck you." It happened so quickly that Nathalie didn't even have time to prepare for the blow that came crashing across her face. She cried out in shock and pain.

"Answer the doc" the guard hissed.

"No" she said defiantly. Understanding how her answer would frustrate him, Nathalie braced herself for the second slap that came. She swallowed down the pain and closed her eyes as she saw his hand rise again.

"That's enough!" the doctor said. "You will not hit her again."

"Just trying to get your info doc" the guard said moving away from Nathalie.

"Violence will not help" he said as he took her legs down from the stirrups. Covering the lower half of her body with a blanket, he pushed her gown up over her stomach and squirted gel on it. Nathalie shivered from the cold liquid. "I'm sorry about the gel" he said.

Nathalie closed her eyes as he started to ultrasound her stomach. "Violence will not help" she repeated. "Ironic that you just conducted an internal exam against my will -that too is violence."

The doctor ignored her comment and stared at the screen. Making some notations in his chart, he called out to the guard. "You can tell her I'm ready." The guard nodded and left the room. Nathalie kept her eyes glued to the door curious as to who would be coming through next. Her mouth dropped open as the woman she knew to be Nikolas' grandmother came through.  
"Jeffrey?" she asked not even acknowledging Nathalie's presence.

"Congratulations Madame - she is nine weeks pregnant."

Helena turned towards Nathalie, who felt suddenly incredibly exposed. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the little whore who thought she could trap my grandson. It's all right my dear, don't be afraid. I will keep you healthy and relatively comfortable until my heir is born. Of course by that time, my grandson will have moved on to a much more appropriate woman and no one will have any further use for you." Helena smoothed down her suit jacket. "Send her back to her room."

********  
Anna held her daughter. "You're pregnant?" she whispered. Robin nodded against her chest. "Oh my darling girl" Anna remarked, suddenly emotional. "That's wonderful news."

Robin pulled away from her mother. "We need to get Patrick back."

"We will luv, we will" Anna replied confidently. Looking over to the couch, she smiled as she saw Brenda and Rian. "Hi Brenda."

"Hey Anna."

Anna sat down beside Robin, draping her arm around her. "So where is your father?"

"He and Mac had a lead they were following and said they would call as soon as they know something."

"They're working together?" Anna pulled at her lip. "Then Patrick will be home in no time."

"And Nathalie" Noah added quietly. Brenda looked over at him, trying to read his face.

Anna nodded. "Of course - and Nathalie." She took her daughter's hand in her own. "And how are you bearing up?"

Robin sighed loudly and rose from the couch. "I am fine - fine" she said emphatically. "I am coping just fine, all I want is for my husband to come home - stop waiting for me to fall to pieces - I am everything you and Dad and Mac raised me to be. I am tough and strong and I am fine."

Anna looked at her daughter, the fire blazing in her eyes and smiled. "Of course you are tough and strong darling - but you have a lot going on..."

"Look" she said raising her hands. "I appreciate that you are all concerned about me but right now I want everyone's energy and focus on bringing Patrick and Nathalie home. I will let everyone know if I run in to any trouble."

"Okay" Anna acquiesced. "Then I guess I better get to work."

Robin smiled at her mother. "Daddy has set everything up in the dining room."

Anna kissed Rian on his forehead and stood up. Walking to her daughter, she enveloped her in her arms. "We are going to find him and bring him home to you and your babies" she whispered against her cheek. "I promise."

"Thank you Mom" she whispered back.

Anna gave her daughter a quick squeeze and headed to the dining room. If she knew her ex-husband, and she did, every possible piece of intel would be filed and catalogued for her review. It would be but a matter of hours before she was up to speed and ready to hit the ground. Flipping open the first folder she was greeted by a recent photograph of Helena. Anna picked it up and stared at it, slowly tracing Helena's features. She and Helena had tangled many times over the years but this time she had crossed the line - she had attacked the thing Anna held most dearly in her life, her daughter's happiness - and for that she would not rest until Helena felt every ounce of pain she had caused others.

"You better be ready" she said quietly. "Because I'm coming for you and this time, you won't be coming back."

******  
Nikolas' car came to a stop outside the century old mansion in Virginia. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door to the limosuine. He hadn't thought of what he would say to the Harders or exactly how he would take Oliver out of the house, all he knew was that he had to do it. This was his fault - he was responsible for Nathalie and Patrick being taken and he needed to do whatever he could to make it right. He loved Nathalie more than any other woman in his life and he had hurt her and let her down - when she came home she was going to have everything she needed to be happy.

He was about to exit the limosuine when he felt someone's hands on him, pushing him back into the care. "What the hell?" he cried out, struggling against the person pushing him across the seat.

"Easy mate - just trying to stop you from doing something stupid."

Nikolas' eyes blazed furiously. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, reaching for the gun inside his jacket pocket.

His agressor was too quick for him and relieved him of his gun in record time. "Nuh-uh" he said, smiling slightly. "Best be leaving those toys to those of us who know how to use them." Nikolas tried to tackle the larger man in the car but found his arms pinned to his side. "Alright mate - I am a friend not a foe - I'm here to help. You just need to take a few deep breaths and calm down."

"Who ARE you?"

"My name is Aiden Devane and you're walking in to a trap."


	67. Chapter 67

Chapter 64

Nathalie struggled and kicked against her captor but made little progress in trying to free herself. The man walking behind them pulled her head up hard by her hair and glared at her. "Calm the fuck down or I will calm you down" he hissed. A cold sweat trickled down Nathalie's back as she looked in to his brown eyes - they were vacant and cold and she knew then that he would do anything he needed to do to achieve his objective, whatever that may be. She stopped squirming as they entered a different room from the one she had previously been in. She was stunned as the man carrying her placed her on the table with relative gentleness. Blinking several times as her eyes adjusted to the bright lights she tried to take in her surroundings; two men stood by the door watching her every move. A cursory glance around revealed the room to be an exam room - there was a bright overhead light, a scale and an ultrasound machine among other things. Her eyes fell on the metal stirrups at the end of the table and she instinctively pulled her knees to her chest.

The door flew open and a young man in a lab coat entered nodding perfunctorily to the two guards. "Hi Nathalie" he said kindly. She stared past him at a spot on the wall trying to memorize every minute details of that particular spot. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he flipped open a chart. Nathalie pulled her knees in tighter to her chest in an attempt to make herself as small as possible. The doctor pulled a gown from a drawer and placed it beside her on the table. "I'll need you to change in to that so I can exam you."

Meeting his eyes for the first time she fixed him with a glare. "No."

The doctor sank to the stool in front of her. "Nathalie, I am going to exam you - there is no choice here - the choice you do have is whether you change in to the gown or one of these guys" he motioned behind him, "changes you. It's entirely up to you but I would be tempted to go with door number one."

Nathalie looked from the doctor's kind but determined face to the two menacing guards at the door and knew that he was right. She hated having to give in on anything so soon but did as she was told. Keeping her eyes on the wall behind the doctor, she stripped out of her clothes and pulled the cotton gown on. Trying to block out the sound of the stirrups being adjusted, she took several deep breaths and thought of her children. Her mind drifted to Oliver's first, unsteady steps and Grace's infectious laugh - she needed to survive to get back to them and was willing to do what it took to ensure that.

The doctor reached for her legs to place them in the holders and Nathalie swallowed back the bile that was rising in her throat. "This is going to be a little cold" he announced as he slid the speculum inside her. Her entire body tensed and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out. "It will be a lot easier on you if you relax" he said.

Nathalie glared at him. "Really? Perhaps I could interest you in a rectal exam against your will? Asshole" she spat. "What you are doing right now is unconscionable and tantamount to sexual assault."

"I am a doctor performing an exam" he said tapping her inner thighs. "Just relax"

"Fuck you." She stared at the ceiling and willed the tears from her eyes. This would be over soon enough and she just needed to get through it.

"Nathalie, when was your last period?" She continued to stare at the ceiling. "Nathalie?"

Lifting her head she smiled sweetly at him. "I'm sorry" she said kindly "You must not have heard me, I said fuck you." It happened so quickly that Nathalie didn't even have time to prepare for the blow that came crashing across her face. She cried out in shock and pain.

"Answer the doc" the guard hissed.

"No" she said defiantly. Understanding how her answer would frustrate him, Nathalie braced herself for the second slap that came. She swallowed down the pain and closed her eyes as she saw his hand rise again.

"That's enough!" the doctor said. "You will not hit her again."

"Just trying to get your info doc" the guard said moving away from Nathalie.

"Violence will not help" he said as he took her legs down from the stirrups. Covering the lower half of her body with a blanket, he pushed her gown up over her stomach and squirted gel on it. Nathalie shivered from the cold liquid. "I'm sorry about the gel" he said.

Nathalie closed her eyes as he started to ultrasound her stomach. "Violence will not help" she repeated. "Ironic that you just conducted an internal exam against my will -that too is violence."

The doctor ignored her comment and stared at the screen. Making some notations in his chart, he called out to the guard. "You can tell her I'm ready." The guard nodded and left the room. Nathalie kept her eyes glued to the door curious as to who would be coming through next. Her mouth dropped open as the woman she knew to be Nikolas' grandmother came through.  
"Jeffrey?" she asked not even acknowledging Nathalie's presence.

"Congratulations Madame - she is nine weeks pregnant."

Helena turned towards Nathalie, who felt suddenly incredibly exposed. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the little whore who thought she could trap my grandson. It's all right my dear, don't be afraid. I will keep you healthy and relatively comfortable until my heir is born. Of course by that time, my grandson will have moved on to a much more appropriate woman and no one will have any further use for you." Helena smoothed down her suit jacket. "Send her back to her room."

********  
Anna held her daughter. "You're pregnant?" she whispered. Robin nodded against her chest. "Oh my darling girl" Anna remarked, suddenly emotional. "That's wonderful news."

Robin pulled away from her mother. "We need to get Patrick back."

"We will luv, we will" Anna replied confidently. Looking over to the couch, she smiled as she saw Brenda and Rian. "Hi Brenda."

"Hey Anna."

Anna sat down beside Robin, draping her arm around her. "So where is your father?"

"He and Mac had a lead they were following and said they would call as soon as they know something."

"They're working together?" Anna pulled at her lip. "Then Patrick will be home in no time."

"And Nathalie" Noah added quietly. Brenda looked over at him, trying to read his face.

Anna nodded. "Of course - and Nathalie." She took her daughter's hand in her own. "And how are you bearing up?"

Robin sighed loudly and rose from the couch. "I am fine - fine" she said emphatically. "I am coping just fine, all I want is for my husband to come home - stop waiting for me to fall to pieces - I am everything you and Dad and Mac raised me to be. I am tough and strong and I am fine."

Anna looked at her daughter, the fire blazing in her eyes and smiled. "Of course you are tough and strong darling - but you have a lot going on..."

"Look" she said raising her hands. "I appreciate that you are all concerned about me but right now I want everyone's energy and focus on bringing Patrick and Nathalie home. I will let everyone know if I run in to any trouble."

"Okay" Anna acquiesced. "Then I guess I better get to work."

Robin smiled at her mother. "Daddy has set everything up in the dining room."

Anna kissed Rian on his forehead and stood up. Walking to her daughter, she enveloped her in her arms. "We are going to find him and bring him home to you and your babies" she whispered against her cheek. "I promise."

"Thank you Mom" she whispered back.

Anna gave her daughter a quick squeeze and headed to the dining room. If she knew her ex-husband, and she did, every possible piece of intel would be filed and catalogued for her review. It would be but a matter of hours before she was up to speed and ready to hit the ground. Flipping open the first folder she was greeted by a recent photograph of Helena. Anna picked it up and stared at it, slowly tracing Helena's features. She and Helena had tangled many times over the years but this time she had crossed the line - she had attacked the thing Anna held most dearly in her life, her daughter's happiness - and for that she would not rest until Helena felt every ounce of pain she had caused others.

"You better be ready" she said quietly. "Because I'm coming for you and this time, you won't be coming back."

******  
Nikolas' car came to a stop outside the century old mansion in Virginia. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door to the limosuine. He hadn't thought of what he would say to the Harders or exactly how he would take Oliver out of the house, all he knew was that he had to do it. This was his fault - he was responsible for Nathalie and Patrick being taken and he needed to do whatever he could to make it right. He loved Nathalie more than any other woman in his life and he had hurt her and let her down - when she came home she was going to have everything she needed to be happy.

He was about to exit the limosuine when he felt someone's hands on him, pushing him back into the care. "What the hell?" he cried out, struggling against the person pushing him across the seat.

"Easy mate - just trying to stop you from doing something stupid."

Nikolas' eyes blazed furiously. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, reaching for the gun inside his jacket pocket.

His agressor was too quick for him and relieved him of his gun in record time. "Nuh-uh" he said, smiling slightly. "Best be leaving those toys to those of us who know how to use them." Nikolas tried to tackle the larger man in the car but found his arms pinned to his side. "Alright mate - I am a friend not a foe - I'm here to help. You just need to take a few deep breaths and calm down."

"Who ARE you?"

"My name is Aiden Devane and you're walking in to a trap."


	68. Chapter 68

Chapter 65

_The fresh sea air wafted through the windows and tickled his nose. His eyes fluttered and he let out a soft moan as he reached across the bed for Robin. She snuggled up against him, her hand sweeping gently across his chest. "Looking for me husband?" she asked sleepily._

"I am wife" he murmured, pressing his lips against her forehead. "This is our first morning as married people"

Robin inhaled deeply. "That's true. I was thinking I would take a shower, go shopping, maybe see if Brenda was free for breakfast."

Patrick glared jokingly at her. "Less than 24 hours as husband and wife and already the magic is gone."

Rolling on to her back, Robin stretched out showing her body to advantage as the sheet slipped from her body. "Why?" she asked innocently, batting her eyelashes. "Did you have something else in mind?"

Patrick's eyes darkened with lust as he drank in her sunkissed body. He trailed his fingers from her neck down her body, smiling as her body responded almost immediately to his touch. Dipping his head he moved his mouth to her breasts lavishing them in kisses before flicking her nipple into his mouth. He sucked greedily as Robin moaned, arching off the bed. Her body ached from the number of times they had made love the night before but she still could not get enough of her husband. Threading her hands through his hair, she brought his mouth to meet hers. His lips parted easily as his wife kissed him possessively, her tongue swept in to his mouth and they tangled together.

Patrick moved on top of her and she parted her legs to accommodate him. He moved his lips from her mouth to her neck, delighting in her moans and the way she pressed her body in to his. Her hands grazed over his back as he ground her hips against her. "I love your body" he mumbled as he worked his tongue around her earlobe causing her to shiver.

"And I love you how you make me feel" she panted.

Slipping a hand between them he cupped her sex, grazing his thumb across her sensitive nub. Robin thrashed her head from side to side as he increased the pressure and slid a finger inside her engorged folds. "You are always so wet" he said breathlessly, aware of his erection rubbing against her thigh. Patrick had always eschewed the idea that sex with feelings intensified the experience but ever since the first time he and Robin had been together he realized that it brought him levels of pleasure he did not know possible. Robin parted her legs further for him giving him greater access while she suckled on his shoulder. Her husband had a way of setting her body on fire and she always wanted more. Blindly reaching for the condoms on the bedside table, she froze in horror. Noticing the sudden tension in her body, Patrick lifted his head. "What is it baby?"

"We only have one condom left" she said pouting.

"Hmm - do you think we can order them through room service?"

Robin burst out laughing. "I doubt it baby."

"Come on" he protested, nipping at her lips. "This is a swanky hotel and they provide services. I need them to provide me with a service so I can service you over and over again."

Giggling as his breath tickled her skin, Robin pushed his hair from his face. "We could always take a break you know."

His eyes grew wide in horror. "A break? A break?" He sucked on her bottom lip. "I could never take a break from you."

Robin's eyes softened at the seriousness of his declaration. "Then I guess we better make best use of the one we have" she said as she began to stroke his length.  
"Rooobin" he hissed. The feeling of her small hand wrapping around his cock nearly pushed him over the edge. His control slipping he began to thrust in her hand. "Baby, please" he pleaded.

Robin smiled as she tore open the package and sheathed him quickly. Running her hand lightly along his length she lined him up and waited for him to bury himself deep inside of her. She gasped as he filled her, her hips pushing against him. He nipped at her skin as her hands roamed his body. They moved together as two people who knew every aspect of each other's bodies. He thrust with greater intensity, their eyes locked on each other. "Not going to last..." he panted.

"I'm almost there baby" she said as she closed her mouth over his. Patrick's body began to shudder and twitch as he came hard against her. Robin swallowed down his cries of release as she climaxed right after him, her body trembling. Bodies slick with sweat, they lay tangled in each other, wrapped in a whole new happiness. 

Patrick sat up with a start and grabbed his head in pain as he did so. Slowly prying his eyes open, he looked around the room and realized he was not in the honeymoon suite in Brisbane but was in fact still being held prisoner. He groaned as he flopped back against the pillows; his body and his heart ached for Robin. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear the cobwebs hoping she wasn't too worried, that she could somehow sense he was safe. He rubbed his jaw, wincing at the sizeable bruise that had formed and remembered the earlier chaos; thinking he had been asleep he realized now he had blacked out and was just coming to. Looking over to the bed beside him he saw Nathalie sitting with her knees pulled to her chest and her head resting on her knees.

"Nat?" he croaked out.

Lifting her head, she wiped away the tears that had pooled in her eyes. "Are you okay P? I've been calling to you for nearly 20 minutes."

He nodded, grimacing at the movement. "I think I have a small concussion and I defiinitely have a bruised jaw. Fuckers." As his eyes slowly adjusted to the lights he saw the angry marks left on her face. "Jesus Nathalie - what did they do to you?"

She sucked in a breath. "I'm fine."

"You're not - you have some pretty bad bruises on your face"

"So do you" she said, placing her head back on her knees.

"What happened?" he asked softly, unnerved by the way her body sagged on the bed. "Please tell me."

"I can't right now" she said, as she swallowed thickly. "I will but you just need to give me a few minutes."

Patrick felt a sense of dread wash over him. "Did they hurt you?"

"It's not anything I can't deal with. But in case you were wondering - this is about me - it's Helena who has us and is keeping me for the baby."

"Shit" he swore under his breath. Jumping up from the bed, he reached for the headboard to steady himself.

"What are you doing?" she asked in concern as he ran his hands along the wall.

"Finding a way out of here."

*******  
Sitting next to Robin in the bed Brenda dug her spoon in to the ice cream container. "This is like old times" she said softly.

Robin smiled. "You could say that." She licked her spoon of the double chocolate ice cream. "And I fully plan on using my pregnancy as an excuse to eat."

Brenda giggled. "Eating has never been an issue with you Robs - and it just melts away on you."

Patting her belly Robin dug her spoon in again. "Let me tell you Bren that after having Rian things don't quite melt the way they used to."

Brenda snorted. "Whatever tinkerbelle."

"Just you wait - your turn will come" Robin pointed her spoon at her.

Raising her eyebrows she shook her head. "I will not be having children - ever" she said emphatically.

"Why not?"

"Robin - look at me. I am a mess - a selfish, self centered mess - no child would ever want me for a mother. Besides" she licked her spoon, "who am I going to have a child with?"

Robin shrugged. "What about Noah?"

Choking on the ice cream, she jumped from the bed and went in search of a glass of water. Returning from the bathroom she was surprised to see Robin staring at her expectantly. "What?"

"What about Noah?" she repeated with a knowing smile.

"What about him? Robin - he has a child - you're married to him, remember?"

Grinning Robin patted the space beside her on the bed. "So - maybe he'd be happy to have a child with you - he loves you."

"He has a 30 year old son, he is not going to want to start over at his age. I should not and will not be a parent Robs. I leave that to the grown ups of the world like you."

Robin rested her head on Brenda's shoulder. "Well despite what you think about yourself, I think you would be a great mom."

"Thanks." Brenda shook her head trying to force the unexpected thoughts from her head. "Are you scared?" she asked, draping her arm around her friend.

"About being pregnant?"

"No. About Patrick."

Robin inhaled deeply before blowing out her cheeks. "Scared is a strong word. I'm worried - I don't know what Helena wants with him and without knowing the why, it's hard to put any of the other pieces together. But, I trust Patrick -I trust his instincts and I know he will do whatever he needs to do to get back to me, to us. Both of them, he and Nathalie are pretty resourceful."

"You're so strong" Brenda remarked quietly.

She shook her head. "Strength is easy Bren."

"Only if you have it."

"Not at all - being strong means dealing in truths and the truth is Patrick wants to come home - he wants to be with his family, there is nothing more important to him than that and so knowing that means I have hope - his job is to stay alive and work at getting back and my job is to get him back."

"You are so sure."

"Love does that Brenda" she said simply. "Love sustains you and empowers you at the moments when you need it most. If this were Noah you would be the same."

Brenda shook her head. "I don't have the faith you do Robin - you believe in that which cannot be seen - I barely believe in what is."

Robin linked her fingers through Brenda's. "You don't give yourself enough credit."

"How can I help you Robin?" she asked changing the subject. "What can I do to see you through this?"

"You're doing it right now Bren but there is one more thing I will need from you."

"Name it."

"Hope. You cannot give up hope that they are coming home - if you can't believe that then you can't be around me."

Brenda nodded. "I believe Robs. I believe."

Robin leaned back against the pillows, the ice cream long forgotten. Closing her eyes she pictured Patrick's face - the way he looked at her as they exchanged wedding vows, the night he showed up at the Nurses Ball and declared his feelings for her, the joy on his face when she told him they were going to have a second child - and knew that her faith would be tested before all was said and done.


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter 66

Nikolas stared out the window as the limousine hurtled down the highway. They were moving further away from where he wanted to be, further from his objective and it enraged him. The man in the car next to him had overpowered him and taken control – two things he could not stand. Struggling to stay calm he fidgeted with his watch, the one Nathalie had given him for Christmas, twisting it around in his hands. How would he ever be able to explain all of his failures to Nathalie? He had not protected her from his grandmother and he was unable to get her son back. He wondered if she was thinking of him, if she knew despite their argument in the hallway that he still loved her and he was working to bring her home or did she think that she was truly alone, that no one would come for her. His heart ached and then hardened. He would kill his grandmother with his bare hands if Nathalie or their baby was hurt in any way.

"Enjoying the view?" Aidan remarked. With Nikolas still pinned, he instructed the driver, his driver to take off and the car peeled from the street and headed out of town. Letting go of the young prince, he waited to be peppered with questions or punched but neither came. Instead he just stared out the window turning his watch around his wrist. Nikolas turned his head at Aidan's question and glared at him before turning back to the window.

"Look, mate I know you are all kinds of pissed at the moment but I just saved your life back there."

Nikolas rolled his eyes. "Really? What were the Harders going to do – talk me to death?" he asked dryly.

Aidan shook his head. "See this is the problem when you civilians decide you want to play superhero – you don't do any recon work you just dive right in like it's some kind of videogame and you can hit replay if it doesn't go your way."

Snapping his head around Nikolas' eyes burned with fury. "There is nothing, NOTHING about this that is a game. You have no idea what's at stake."

Undeterred by the flash of passion Aidan shrugged. "Trust me, I know it's not a game Nikolas. Your pregnant girlfriend is being held by dear old granny who is planning to snatch the baby for herself and kill Nathalie."

"Who ARE you?" he repeated.

"Same person I was 20 minutes ago – I'm Adian Devane."

As though hearing his name for the first time, Nikolas raised his eyebrows. "Related to Anna?"

"She's my aunt and Robin is my cousin."

"And they hired you?"

"No," he said simply indicating he would not divulge his client's name. "They don't even know that I'm working this case. I've been tracking dear old gran for over a year now."

Nikolas nodded. "So what was this big trap I was supposedly walking in to?"

Aidan rubbed his hand over his face cursing the beard he had grown. Traveling on a false identity he had been forced to make some changes to his appearance and was looking forward to the day he could revert back to his clean cut self. "Helena has had a bit of a desperate time of things lately – some bad investments and poor choices have reduced a significant portion of her wealth."

"What does this have to do with the Harders?"

"She wants your money Nikolas."

"What's she going to do, kill me? That doesn't make any sense." He shook his head. "She needs me to carry on the Cassadine line."

"Technically she doesn't. She has your little boy and now your girlfriend is pregnant – gives her an heir and a spare. If you are out of the way - dead or in jail – then she controls your fortune and has all your voting proxies. She's back in the game then."

"So what? She had a team of assassins waiting for me at the Harders?"

"Too obvious mate. Your moves, to date, have been predictable – anyone who knows you would know that you would go for Nathalie's kids. Your confrontations with the Harders have been well documented. They were given a heads up that a kidnapping attempt would be made on the wee one and their house was filled with FBI agents."

"What do you mean well documented?" he asked as he tried to process the lengths to which his grandmother would go to achieve her goals.  
"You – all of you – Robin, Patrick, Nathalie – have been under surveillance for months now and every move you've made – every punch that's been thrown, threat that's been uttered – it's all been recorded. One misstep on your part and you'll find yourself in federal prison."

Nikolas blanched as he started to understand the peril his friends were in as a result of him. "Does…does Robin know?"

Adian shook his head. "Not yet but I've been in touch with Robert – sharing the latest intel that I have."

Rage coursed through Nikolas as he wondered if any of this could have been prevented or Aidan and others let this play out to serve some broader agenda. "If you've been following Helena then where the hell is she?"

He winced as he scratched his head. "Well we lost track of her after you placed her in that facility. She had a number of operatives on the inside who were able to ferry her out without raising any suspicion among my people until it was too late."

Nikolas slammed his head against the back of the limousine furious at his role in this. His heart hammered in his chest and his head pounded. Once told of a Cassadine curse, he had dismissed it out of hand but was beginning to believe that he was held in great disfavour with the gods. "So this is my fault" he said simply.

"No. This is Helena's fault. You were just a pawn in her game."

"She's going to kill Nathalie once the baby is born."

"Well lucky for us we'll have Nathalie back to you long before that happens."

"How? HOW?" he slammed his hands down on the leather seats. "By your own admission you don't know where she is."

"Helena is not as unpredictable as she likes to think she is. She's working with a partner and as soon as I get my hands on him, we will be much, much closer to getting your girlfriend home to you and my cousin reunited with her husband."

"I'm going to kill her" he seethed "limb by brittle limb"

"Easy there champion" Aidan warned. "You leave the killing if there is to be any to the professionals. Concentrate on your girlfriend and your baby - leave the rest to us."

Nikolas returned his sights to the window, watching as car after car passed them along the highway. He could concentrate on nothing else other than his girlfriend and his baby and what he would do if any harm came to them at all.

Aidan pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text message.

_Subject contained. Ready 4 next phase._

*******

Noah strode down the hall, book in hand. Lulu had called him after her visit with Grace letting him know that she had confirmed Grace's questions about her mother having the flu and that all in all the little girl seemed to be in good spirits. Having left Brenda with Robin, he stopped at the hospital library to pick out a new book and headed towards Grace's room. As was his habit, he stopped at the Nurses Station and reviewed her chart before going on. Her progress, post-marrow transplant was remarkable and she was getting very close to being discharged. The inevitability of that day worried him as it meant two things: Grace would be leaving the hospital with her grandparents and Nathalie might not be rescued by the time her daughter is to be released. Thoughts of Nathalie and Patrick haunted him during his waking hours and during sleep. Brenda's return had made things a little less overwhelming but when he allowed his mind to go there, the fear was crushing. Nathalie had been so hopeless and desperate when he had seen her last – she had been coming apart at the seams and he had been truly concerned at what she might do. He hoped that whatever she was feeling that she and Patrick were leaning on each other and working together to survive.

Shaking the dark thoughts from his head, he closed Grace's chart and walked to her room. He froze as he saw a vaguely familiar man leaving her room. He called after him but the man ignored him and hurried down the hall. Noah started after him until, looking in to Grace's room, he saw the little girl in a flood of tears. He glanced once more down the hallway before going to see Grace.

"Gracie-Lou" he said gently "Why are you crying?" Bending down, he kissed her on her forehead.

"No-No-Noah" she stammered, gulping air.

"Yes sweetheart?" Sitting in the chair at her bedside he stroked the fine downy hair that had grown on her head.

"Is Patty disappeared?"

Stunned momentarily, Noah turned his head back to the door wondering exactly what the person in Grace's room had been doing. "Why do you think that?"

"I heard" she sniffled. "Patty's missing. Did he die like my daddy?" she asked as the tears flowed freely down her face.

Noah's heart shattered into a million little pieces as the little girl who had already lived so much faced yet another nightmare. "No Gracie" he said gently, brushing her tears away. "Patty's not dead – I would tell you."

"Wh-whe-where is he?"

Sighing, he hoped he could be forgiven for lying to a child. "He's on a trip – he had to go on a doctor's trip sweetie. He took a big airplane and is on the other side of the world. As soon as his trip is done, he'll be back here to see you."

"Really?" she asked her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Of course" he smiled reassuringly. "You know that you're Patty's favourite person."

"He's mine" she replied confidently.

"I know" Noah grinned. "But we won't tell him that too often or his head will get sooo big he can't walk through the door!"

Grace let out a small giggle. "Like a balloon!"

"Exactly!" Noah let out a small steady breath as it appeared he managed to avert a crisis. "I hear Lulu came to see you today."

She nodded. "An' Ethan too. He likes Lulu."

"What about you, do you like Ethan?"

Grace shrugged. "Yeah but he's not as good as Patty."

Noah's breath hitched slightly at her pronouncement. "That's true Gracie. Very few are as good as Patty."

"Is mommy okay?" she asked, searching his face they way kids do when they look for the truth.

"She is" he nodded. "She just is too sick to come to the hospital."

"I love my mom" she said, pulling on her bottom lip.

Noah cupped her face. "And she loves you – don't ever doubt that Gracie –she loves you very much." The young girl nodded and squirmed in her bed. "I brought a new book, would you like me to read it to you."

"Yes please" she said clapping her hands together.

"It's called 'One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish'" he said as he cracked it open.

"Noah?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Can we cuddle like I do with my mom?"

Noah swallowed thickly. "Of course we can." Getting up from the chair, he stretched out on the bed beside her as she snuggled into a little ball under his arm, putting her head on his chest. "Ready?" he asked as he pulled her tightly to him, tucking her blankets around her. She nodded and Noah began.

"Black fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish. This one has a little star. This one has a little car. Say! What a lot of fish there are."

Deeply concentrated on reading the story, Noah was oblivious to the long lens snapping photo after photo.


	70. Chapter 70

Chapter 66

Nikolas stared out the window as the limousine hurtled down the highway. They were moving further away from where he wanted to be, further from his objective and it enraged him. The man in the car next to him had overpowered him and taken control – two things he could not stand. Struggling to stay calm he fidgeted with his watch, the one Nathalie had given him for Christmas, twisting it around in his hands. How would he ever be able to explain all of his failures to Nathalie? He had not protected her from his grandmother and he was unable to get her son back. He wondered if she was thinking of him, if she knew despite their argument in the hallway that he still loved her and he was working to bring her home or did she think that she was truly alone, that no one would come for her. His heart ached and then hardened. He would kill his grandmother with his bare hands if Nathalie or their baby was hurt in any way.

"Enjoying the view?" Aidan remarked. With Nikolas still pinned, he instructed the driver, his driver to take off and the car peeled from the street and headed out of town. Letting go of the young prince, he waited to be peppered with questions or punched but neither came. Instead he just stared out the window turning his watch around his wrist. Nikolas turned his head at Aidan's question and glared at him before turning back to the window.

"Look, mate I know you are all kinds of pissed at the moment but I just saved your life back there."

Nikolas rolled his eyes. "Really? What were the Harders going to do – talk me to death?" he asked dryly.

Aidan shook his head. "See this is the problem when you civilians decide you want to play superhero – you don't do any recon work you just dive right in like it's some kind of videogame and you can hit replay if it doesn't go your way."

Snapping his head around Nikolas' eyes burned with fury. "There is nothing, NOTHING about this that is a game. You have no idea what's at stake."

Undeterred by the flash of passion Aidan shrugged. "Trust me, I know it's not a game Nikolas. Your pregnant girlfriend is being held by dear old granny who is planning to snatch the baby for herself and kill Nathalie."

"Who ARE you?" he repeated.

"Same person I was 20 minutes ago – I'm Adian Devane."

As though hearing his name for the first time, Nikolas raised his eyebrows. "Related to Anna?"

"She's my aunt and Robin is my cousin."

"And they hired you?"

"No," he said simply indicating he would not divulge his client's name. "They don't even know that I'm working this case. I've been tracking dear old gran for over a year now."

Nikolas nodded. "So what was this big trap I was supposedly walking in to?"

Aidan rubbed his hand over his face cursing the beard he had grown. Traveling on a false identity he had been forced to make some changes to his appearance and was looking forward to the day he could revert back to his clean cut self. "Helena has had a bit of a desperate time of things lately – some bad investments and poor choices have reduced a significant portion of her wealth."

"What does this have to do with the Harders?"

"She wants your money Nikolas."

"What's she going to do, kill me? That doesn't make any sense." He shook his head. "She needs me to carry on the Cassadine line."

"Technically she doesn't. She has your little boy and now your girlfriend is pregnant – gives her an heir and a spare. If you are out of the way - dead or in jail – then she controls your fortune and has all your voting proxies. She's back in the game then."

"So what? She had a team of assassins waiting for me at the Harders?"

"Too obvious mate. Your moves, to date, have been predictable – anyone who knows you would know that you would go for Nathalie's kids. Your confrontations with the Harders have been well documented. They were given a heads up that a kidnapping attempt would be made on the wee one and their house was filled with FBI agents."

"What do you mean well documented?" he asked as he tried to process the lengths to which his grandmother would go to achieve her goals.  
"You – all of you – Robin, Patrick, Nathalie – have been under surveillance for months now and every move you've made – every punch that's been thrown, threat that's been uttered – it's all been recorded. One misstep on your part and you'll find yourself in federal prison."

Nikolas blanched as he started to understand the peril his friends were in as a result of him. "Does…does Robin know?"

Adian shook his head. "Not yet but I've been in touch with Robert – sharing the latest intel that I have."

Rage coursed through Nikolas as he wondered if any of this could have been prevented or Aidan and others let this play out to serve some broader agenda. "If you've been following Helena then where the hell is she?"

He winced as he scratched his head. "Well we lost track of her after you placed her in that facility. She had a number of operatives on the inside who were able to ferry her out without raising any suspicion among my people until it was too late."

Nikolas slammed his head against the back of the limousine furious at his role in this. His heart hammered in his chest and his head pounded. Once told of a Cassadine curse, he had dismissed it out of hand but was beginning to believe that he was held in great disfavour with the gods. "So this is my fault" he said simply.

"No. This is Helena's fault. You were just a pawn in her game."

"She's going to kill Nathalie once the baby is born."

"Well lucky for us we'll have Nathalie back to you long before that happens."

"How? HOW?" he slammed his hands down on the leather seats. "By your own admission you don't know where she is."

"Helena is not as unpredictable as she likes to think she is. She's working with a partner and as soon as I get my hands on him, we will be much, much closer to getting your girlfriend home to you and my cousin reunited with her husband."

"I'm going to kill her" he seethed "limb by brittle limb"

"Easy there champion" Aidan warned. "You leave the killing if there is to be any to the professionals. Concentrate on your girlfriend and your baby - leave the rest to us."

Nikolas returned his sights to the window, watching as car after car passed them along the highway. He could concentrate on nothing else other than his girlfriend and his baby and what he would do if any harm came to them at all.

Aidan pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text message.

_Subject contained. Ready 4 next phase._

*******

Noah strode down the hall, book in hand. Lulu had called him after her visit with Grace letting him know that she had confirmed Grace's questions about her mother having the flu and that all in all the little girl seemed to be in good spirits. Having left Brenda with Robin, he stopped at the hospital library to pick out a new book and headed towards Grace's room. As was his habit, he stopped at the Nurses Station and reviewed her chart before going on. Her progress, post-marrow transplant was remarkable and she was getting very close to being discharged. The inevitability of that day worried him as it meant two things: Grace would be leaving the hospital with her grandparents and Nathalie might not be rescued by the time her daughter is to be released. Thoughts of Nathalie and Patrick haunted him during his waking hours and during sleep. Brenda's return had made things a little less overwhelming but when he allowed his mind to go there, the fear was crushing. Nathalie had been so hopeless and desperate when he had seen her last – she had been coming apart at the seams and he had been truly concerned at what she might do. He hoped that whatever she was feeling that she and Patrick were leaning on each other and working together to survive.

Shaking the dark thoughts from his head, he closed Grace's chart and walked to her room. He froze as he saw a vaguely familiar man leaving her room. He called after him but the man ignored him and hurried down the hall. Noah started after him until, looking in to Grace's room, he saw the little girl in a flood of tears. He glanced once more down the hallway before going to see Grace.

"Gracie-Lou" he said gently "Why are you crying?" Bending down, he kissed her on her forehead.

"No-No-Noah" she stammered, gulping air.

"Yes sweetheart?" Sitting in the chair at her bedside he stroked the fine downy hair that had grown on her head.

"Is Patty disappeared?"

Stunned momentarily, Noah turned his head back to the door wondering exactly what the person in Grace's room had been doing. "Why do you think that?"

"I heard" she sniffled. "Patty's missing. Did he die like my daddy?" she asked as the tears flowed freely down her face.

Noah's heart shattered into a million little pieces as the little girl who had already lived so much faced yet another nightmare. "No Gracie" he said gently, brushing her tears away. "Patty's not dead – I would tell you."

"Wh-whe-where is he?"

Sighing, he hoped he could be forgiven for lying to a child. "He's on a trip – he had to go on a doctor's trip sweetie. He took a big airplane and is on the other side of the world. As soon as his trip is done, he'll be back here to see you."

"Really?" she asked her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Of course" he smiled reassuringly. "You know that you're Patty's favourite person."

"He's mine" she replied confidently.

"I know" Noah grinned. "But we won't tell him that too often or his head will get sooo big he can't walk through the door!"

Grace let out a small giggle. "Like a balloon!"

"Exactly!" Noah let out a small steady breath as it appeared he managed to avert a crisis. "I hear Lulu came to see you today."

She nodded. "An' Ethan too. He likes Lulu."

"What about you, do you like Ethan?"

Grace shrugged. "Yeah but he's not as good as Patty."

Noah's breath hitched slightly at her pronouncement. "That's true Gracie. Very few are as good as Patty."

"Is mommy okay?" she asked, searching his face they way kids do when they look for the truth.

"She is" he nodded. "She just is too sick to come to the hospital."

"I love my mom" she said, pulling on her bottom lip.

Noah cupped her face. "And she loves you – don't ever doubt that Gracie –she loves you very much." The young girl nodded and squirmed in her bed. "I brought a new book, would you like me to read it to you."

"Yes please" she said clapping her hands together.

"It's called 'One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish'" he said as he cracked it open.

"Noah?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Can we cuddle like I do with my mom?"

Noah swallowed thickly. "Of course we can." Getting up from the chair, he stretched out on the bed beside her as she snuggled into a little ball under his arm, putting her head on his chest. "Ready?" he asked as he pulled her tightly to him, tucking her blankets around her. She nodded and Noah began.

"Black fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish. This one has a little star. This one has a little car. Say! What a lot of fish there are."

Deeply concentrated on reading the story, Noah was oblivious to the long lens snapping photo after photo.


	71. Chapter 71

Chapter 67

Hearing the commotion downstairs, Brenda put the lid on the ice cream as Robin slipped her shoes back on. Heading downstairs the two women stopped just short of the bottom stair, surprised at the sudden hive of activity. Robert and Anna were in deep conversation while Mac was hovering over Lucky's shoulder as he worked on the computer. Brenda squeezed her friend's hand before slipping in to the kitchen to put the ice cream away. Taking a deep breath Robin took the final two steps and walked to where her parents were having a very animated discussion.

"Did you find out something?" she asked, unable to keep the urgency from her voice.

Stopping their conversation in mid-sentence, Robert pulled his daughter into his arms pressing his lips against the top of her head. "How are you holding up luv?"

"Fine" she said against his chest. "Do you know something?"

"We have a couple of leads - we'll know better when the rest of them get here."

Pulling out of her father's embrace, Robin looked around her once quiet house. "There's more?"

"Just a few more" Robert said.

Opening her mouth to ask another question she was interrupted by the doorbell. She looked at her parents curiously and as she walked to the front door. Seeing her cousin standing on the other side of the door, Robin let loose a loud squeal and launched herself into his arms. "Aidan!!"

Throwing his arms around his cousin, he held her tightly. "Hey shortie"

"Are you here to help?" she asked pulling back.

"I am " he smiled at her. Leaning in, he kissed her cheek. "Don't you worry, we're going to get your Patrick back."  
Smiling gratefully, she noticed Nikolas standing behind Aidan. "Nik" her voice softened. She recognized the haunted look and dark circles around his eyes as she was certain, despite her best efforts, she looked the same.

"Hi Robin" he said quietly.

"Come in, both of you" she offered holding back the door. The two men entered and as Nikolas hung up his coat, Robin wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so sorry Nik."

"Me too" he said willing himself not to give in to her comfort - toughness was the only way he was going to survive. The plane ride back with Aidan hed left his head spinning as he tried to make sense of the little information Robin's cousin had been willing to give up. Robin grasped his hand and led him to the dining room which looked very much like command central.

Robert stood a white board making columns with subject headings of the key players and leaving blanks where they were missing information. Though recognizing the unknown outnumbered the known, he was not discouraged. Oblivious to the din of reunion around him, he stood back and stared at the board. The column heading "Helena's Partner/s" was a complete mystery.

"No new intel on that?" Mac asked standing beside his brother.

Robert shook his head. "There is no way she is doing this on her own or just with minions. Someone else has a vested interest but none of her usual suspects pan out."

"Faison?"

"Nah. If it had been Robin who had been grabbed then maybe but Faison has no interest in Helena gaining more power or stealing babies."

Coming in from the kitchen, Brenda saw Nikolas talking to Lucky and walking over to him pulled him into a hug. "Hey Nik" she said softly.

"Brenda." He kissed her cheek. "I wish we were seeing each other under better circumstances."

"Me too" she said as she let go of him.

"Right" Robert said. "If everyone could have a seat, I would like to go over everything we know so that we can develop our plan of attack." As everyone dutifully took their seats, he pulled the cap of the red marker. "Okay so we know that Nathalie and Patrick have been gone for four days now and there has been no ransom demand..."

"Which means that she has what she wants" Anna finished.

"We know why she took Nathalie" Mac offered. "Because of the baby but what does she want with Patrick?"

"Wrong place, wrong time?" Lucky asked.

"Nah. Helena doesn't make mistakes" Adian interjected. "If she didn't want Patrick then she would have found a way to release him." He turned to Robin. "Sweetheart, has Patrick had any unusual cases of late?"

She shook her head as one hand rubbed her belly. "No. It's been pretty quiet on the work front lately."

"How about you then? Have you stumbled across any great pharmaceutical discoveries that she may be interested in?"

"I'm not even in clinical trials for what I'm working on so I can't see how it would be of any interest."

"Aidan, you've been tracking her for a while, best guess - where is she?" Anna asked.

He smiled at his aunt. He felt connected to her more than any other family member as they shared similar experiences and they fell into an easy pattern with each other when it came to work. "She's in the States. Her private plan filed two flight plans - one landing in Florida and one in New York. If I had to guess, she's on the Eastern seaboard."

"That's something" Robin said as she watched the interaction between her family and her friends who were like family.

"It is" Lucky said, entering the information into the laptop.

"There's a few more things we need" Mac said.

"Like what?" Nikolas asked, impatient with the whole proceeding. He wanted to run out of the house, get in his car and go. The only thing stopping him is he didn't know where he would go.

"What were Nathalie's and Patrick's states of mind?" the Commissioner asked.

"Why?" Brenda queried.

"It may give us some indication of whether they are trying to break free or do something stupid or both."

"Patrick won't do anything stupid" Robin announced firmly. "He will weigh the risks and make the most strategic move, if there is one to be made."

Aidan raised his eyebrows at his cousin's strong defence of her husband. "That's good" he confirmed. "And when this is all over, I can't wait to meet him" he said winking.

Robin smiled gratefully. "Unfortunately, I think you two are going to get along just fine."

Adian grinned. "So how would you describe his state of mind?"

"He was fine. We had just confirmed that I'm pregnant again." Robert, Mac and Aidan all stared at her.

"You...you never said" Mac said, recovering his voice.

She shrugged. "It's been kind of hard to find the right time."

His eyes warmed as he looked at his niece who was living the life that at one time was believed to be impossible. "Congratulations."

"Thanks but you all should know that I'm not having this baby without Patrick so we need to find him."

"What about Nathalie's state of mind?" Anna asked Nikolas.

His cheeks reddened slightly as he remembered the image of her running down the hall of the hospital as if he had slapped her. "She was upset."

"She was desperate" came a voice from the back of the room. Noah walked in and stood behind Brenda's chair. Nikolas eyed him warily.

"How desperate?" Anna asked.

Noah stared at Nikolas. "If Patrick hadn't shown up in my office when he did and promise to take care of her, I would have admitted her on a 24 hour hold - suicide watch."

Lowering his eyes, Nikolas pushed his chair back and walked from the dining room. Lucky grimaced and excused himself. He found his brother standing on the deck in the backyard. He quietly closed the door behind him.

"It wasn't your fault."

"Tell that to Noah." he said staring straight ahead, oblivious to the cool night air.

"Nik she was going to come apart at some point."

"I accused her of being unfaithful Lucky" he said with shame evident in his voice. "I tried to bully her into telling me that she would rather be with a look-a-like of her husband than with me."

Lucky did a double take. "Look-a-like? Nik what are you talking about?"

Reaching in to his pocket, he pulled his cell phone and without looking opened it to the photo of Nathalie and the mysterious stranger kissing. He passed it to his brother who stared at it in dibelief. "Nik - when did you get this?"

"When I was locking Helena up" he snorted. "For all the good that did."

"How do you know this is a fake husband and not just an old picture?"

"Her hair is short - she never had short hair before me."

Lucky put a steadying hand his brother's shoulder. "Let's go back inside Nik - you may have just provided us with the biggest break in our case." He rushed inside as Nikolas followed him in. "We have something" he said nearly breathless.

The room fell silent as Lucky held up his brother's cell phone. Aidan reached for it and knit his brow as he looked at the photo. "That's Andrew Walker."

"No - it's a look-a-like" Lucky said. "Nik says Nathalie never had short hair."

Reaching for the phone Robin froze as she saw the man's face. "I've seen him before" she whispered.

"Where?"

"At the hospital and in the park - he's talked to me." Horror crossed her face. "He knows Rian's name - he knows my name.:

Realizing they were on the verge of a breakthrough, Robert leaned forward, looking directly at his daughter. "Robin, luv I need you to think really hard - did he say anything to you - however trivial?"

She blinked several times trying to remember exactly what had been said. "Nathalie spoke to him a couple of times - he's got a relative or something at the hospital. He told me his name -it's...." she closed her eyes, drawing a blank. "It's.....crap!" she said in frustration.

Anna reached for her daugther's hand. "It's okay luv -just take a couple of deep breaths, it will come to you."

"May I see the phone?" Noah asked. Robin passed it to him and he blew out his cheeks.

"What's up Doc?" Robert asked.

"That's what she was wearing the night she was drugged at Jake's. I bet if you show that to Coleman he'll be able to tell you whether or not that's the guy she was drinking with."

As everyone talked at once, Brenda leaned over to Aidan. "Care to tell me how you know what Nathalie's dead husband looks like?" she asked quietly.

"I miss you Brenda" he grinned. "Always so direct."

"I never change. So spill it Devane."

He shrugged. "I've known her for years - we were lovers once." Out of the corner his eye, he saw Nikolas stiffen. Looking up at him he gave him a reassuring look. "It was a lifetime ago, mate. Way before she was married." Nikolas said nothing and turning on his heel headed back to the kitchen.

"Anthony!" Robin exclaimed. "He said his name was Anthony!"

Robert smiled. "That's my girl" he said quietly, writing the name 'Anthony' under the column for "Helena's Partner/s". With the rescue team all having received specific orders from Robert, they started a new flurry of activity with phone calls and internet research. Crooking his finger, he silently asked Aidan to join him in the living room.

"Robert" he said.

"I need you to tell me who you're working for mate."

"Robert, you know it's not kosher to divulge clients."

"Yeah but there aren't too many people who have such a vested interested in Cruella de Cassadine - most of them are in the room next door. It's possible your client has some information that could prove to be invaluable."

"They don't."

"Let me be the judge of that" the older man suggested with some force.

Aidan sighed heavily. "If I give you their names you cannot press for more information from me."

"Deal."

"I have two clients when it comes to Helena - Alexis Davis and Luke Spencer."


	72. Chapter 72

Chapter 68

Noah had said little on the way home but had held Brenda's hand the entire time. The exhaustion was clearly evident on his face and he removed his contacts, putting on his glasses as soon as they got home. Rubbing his tired eyes, he joined her in the kitchen and put the kettle on.

"You were awfully hard on Nik, don't you think?" she asked as she scrolled through the messages on her Blackberry.

"Pardon?" Noah leaned against the counter untucking and unbuttoning his blue dress shirt revealing his white t-shirt underneath.

"At Robin's. You were pretty mean to Nik."

"Not mean, truthful" he countered. "Nathalie wasn't upset Brenda, she was coming apart like a $2 suitcase and he had a lot to do with that."

"Don't you think he knows that? He probably feels badly enough without you rubbing it in."

Noah arched his eyebrow. "Rubbing it in? I did no such thing. They were asking about Nathalie's state of mind and quite frankly Nik was downplaying it. And as for him feeling badly, good, I hope he does."

"Nathalie has quite a defender in you" she remarked, unable to stop herself.

"And Nik has an apologist in you – what's your point?"

"No point. I guess I just didn't know how close you and Nathalie were."

Rolling his eyes, Noah turned his attention back to the whistling kettle. Reaching in to the cupboard, he retrieved a mug and proceeded to drown his tea bag in boiling water. Turning back to Brenda, he sighed heavily.

"Brenda – I'm exhausted and you are clearly working your way up to asking me something – can we skip the build up and get to the question?"

Placing her Blackberry on the table Brenda stared at him. There was no question as to how much she loved him. Once she was able to voice her feelings for him it seemed like they grew in response. In the very short time she had been back she knew that she never wanted to leave again. Unfortunately for Brenda none of those feelings mitigated her insecurities and though she knew on some level she was being irrational, she felt helpless to stop it.

"Is there something going on between you and Nathalie?"

Noah looked at her in surprise. "You have got to be kidding me" he said quietly. "This really isn't the best time for one of your paranoid delusions Brenda; I just don't have the energy for it. I love you – I'm in love with you and that is all you need to worry about."

"You've spent a lot of time with her. Are you attracted to her?"

Reaching for his tea he shook his head. "I'm not having a discussion about this. I have some catching up I need to do on some files – maybe you should catch up on your sleep as you are clearly still jet lagged."

He brushed past her into the living room and settled in a chair. He stared at the journal in front of him but still distracted by Brenda's questions he was unable to take any of it in. Closing his eyes, he massaged the bridge of his nose wondering when any of it would get easier.

Brenda stood in the door to the kitchen watching him and questioning her need to sabotage every good thing in her life. She quietly crossed the room and pulling the journal from his hands, placed herself in his lap, draping her arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Sucking in a breath, he nodded. "You are the first and the only woman I have loved since my wife died" he said softly. "There is no one else for me but you. The problem is Brenda, you have to be willing to believe that – I can't make you believe it."

"I know" she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "I just – you are unlike any other man I have loved and I've already screwed up once. I am terrified of losing you."

Moved by her confession, Noah took her hand in his. "You aren't going to lose me. You asked me if I was attracted to Nathalie – I am." He squeezed her hand as her head shot up from his shoulder. "But not in the way you think. It's not a sexual attraction Brenda – it's….she's been a good friend to me when I've needed it..she.." he stammered briefly. "She is damaged and lives with a lot of pain – I recognize the feelings – my attraction to her is the familiar and the want to repay the kindness she's shown me."

Brenda nodded as she laid her head back against his shoulder. "I think I knew that in my head but I don't trust my heart."

"Then trust mine." He pressed his lips against hers. "I'm not a mean man Brenda; I don't get off on hurting people or playing games. My heart will take care of yours if you let it."

Cupping his face, she captured his lips in a tender kiss, her lips sucking gently on his. He threaded his hands through her silky hair as he deepened their kiss, his tongue plunging in to her mouth. Breathless, they finally broke apart and just stared at each other. Brenda ran her thumb along his bottom lip as her warm brown eyes locked on his. "I've never felt this way before" she whispered.

"I never thought I would feel this way again."

Reaching up, Brenda removed his glasses and put them on the side table before wrapping her arms around him. "So about my room at the MetroCourt…"

"Yes?" he smiled.

"I was thinking…if you were open to the idea…..that I could move in here."

"In here?" he said in fake surprise. "I don't know – I mean what do you bring as a roommate? You can't cook.."

"That's what take out is for."

"You don't clean…"

"Hello? Cleaning ladies need employment too."

"You don't do dishes…"

"You have a dishwasher."

"So what would I be getting out of this?"

Brenda pressed her lips against his neck, just under his ear and smiled as she felt Noah shiver. "Well, I promise to be naked a lot…"

"That's a good start" he murmured.

"And.." she swept her hands over his chest. "I promise to make love to you on a regular basis"

"Define regular…"

"All the time" she whispered as she suckled on his earlobe.

Noah swallowed down a moan, amazed at her ability to drive him mad with the simplest of gestures. "D-d-deal"

"Great!" Brenda clapped her hands together and slid from his lap.

"Wait – what…where are you going?" he said as she grabbed her jacket and purse.

"To get my stuff."

"Now?"

She nodded grinning. "You think I'm going to wait a minute more?"

"But – but - what about the nakedness and the sex?" he asked, his bottom lip jutting out as he pouted.

"Why don't you see about finding me some drawer space and when I get back I promise nakedness and sex?"

Noah beamed. "Okay chief."

Brenda bounced to the door, stopping as her hand gripped the handle. "Hey Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

*******

Patrick paced the room as far as his chains would allow. Pulling on the sink and the toilet he was disappointed by the lack of give on either. He dropped his head as he realized his earlier assessment, that the door at the top of the stairs was the only way out, was likely correct. Yanking on his chains, he let out a small yelp of frustration at being restrained. He knew if only he could get his hands free they would have a chance at escape as it was they really were sitting ducks. Confident they could overpower the guards with the element of surprise, he needed to figure out how to break their bonds. Flopping back onto his bed, he looked over at Nathalie who had not budged from the position she had been in since he came to.

"Nathalie?" His concern growing at the shallowness of her breathing and even for Nathalie she was too still. Not getting a response he slid from the bed and moved as close to her as he could. "Nathalie."

Her head still on her knees, she turned it slightly towards him. Patrick's stomach dropped as he took in the contrast of the angry blue bruises on her cheeks against her pale skin. "I'm okay" she said quietly.

"Please tell me what happened," he pleaded. "I can help."

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she sat up straighter but kept her knees against her. "Tell me a story."

"What?"

"Tell me a story about you and Robin - tell me a great moment in your courtship that I don't know about. List all the reasons you love her."

Stretching out, Patrick was able to just put his hands on her bed and offer her the smallest of comforts. "Take my hands Nat."

Too tired to resist him, Nathalie lowered her hands on to his and took hold of his fingers. Shocked at how cold and clammy they were he knew that something traumatic had happened to his friend and if he was going to help her through it she needed to tell him what it was.

"I'll tell you all the stories you want if you tell me what happened up there."

Shrugging she tried to dismiss it but the way in which she gripped Patrick's fingers betrayed her fear. "There was a doctor" she said trying to moisten her dry lips. "Helena hired him, I guess, to look after me."

"What did he do?" Experienced in dealing with patients in shock, Patrick quieted himself and took the same soothing tone of voice he used with those patients in an effort to comfort her.

"Ultrasound. I'm 9 weeks pregnant" she said flatly.

Patrick waited for several minutes before gently prodding her again. "What else?"

Exhaling, Nathalie looked away from Patrick as shame washed over her. Intellectually she knew that she had done nothing wrong, that she been victimized but humiliation was her dominant feeling. "He did an internal exam." She felt Patrick's hands tense underneath hers. "It's fine P- I've had them before."

"Voluntarily. You've had them before - voluntarily."

It took a superhuman effort on his part not to explode at her revelation; he knew of no doctor with a smidgen of ethics who would ever do that to patient and if he ever found out who this doctor was he didn't want to be held responsible for what he would do. Sucking in a breath he was more determined than ever to find a way out. He needed to protect her from any further assaults and he needed to get home to his wife.

"I'll be okay. I just feel...." her voice trailed off. She attempted to let go of Patrick's fingers but he held tightly to hers.

"You feel what?"

"Dirty" she said in a strangled voice. "I feel dirty and violated."

Patrick's eyes filled with tears and his frustration mounted at his inability to take her in his arms and reassure her. "You did nothing wrong. I'm so sorry Nathalie."

"Don't" she shook her head violently. "Please don't. I need you to treat me like you always do. Give me a few more minutes and I'll be able to move on."

"Nat" he said sadly.

"P - if we're going to get out of this then we have to be strong and I can't do that if you're feeling sorry for me. I need to feel like I'm okay and you need to treat me like that -so tell me a story."

He bit the hollow of his cheek to keep from pressing further. "What do want to hear?"

Giving him a small, grateful smile she linked her fingers through his as best she could. "Tell me about how you charmed her in the early days."

He let out a quiet laugh. "I didn't. She could not STAND me when we met."

"Why not?"

"She thought I was an arrogant, cocky, insensitive jerk."

"She was only part right."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Nice." He gave her fingers a light squeeze. "She slapped me once – in the middle of the Nurses Station."

Nathalie's eyes widened in muted delight. "Whatever did you do?"

He shook his head. "I busted her chops every chance I got – she would bite every time I threw something out there. I guess I was giving her a hard time about not smiling enough – she can be deadly serious at times – and she just hauled off and slugged me."

"No doubt you liked it."

A sly smile crossed his face. "Well I knew then and there anyone that fiery was someone I wanted to be with."

"Tell me more."

"You tell me something" he countered.

"Like what?"

"Tell me something about you and Drew that I don't know."

"Ha! You guys gossiped worse than teenage girls – I don't think there is anything about Drew and I that you don't already know – he shared everything with you, right down to my bra size."

"34 B" he smiled. "What? He made me go to Victoria's Secret with him."

"Made is such a strong word P – I have no doubt you cleared your schedule willingly."

"You can't prove it." Tilting his head to the side, he grinned at her. "Come on Nat – there has to be at least one thing."

Pulling on her bottom lip, she stared off in to space as memories of her husband and the life she had before this madness came rushing back. For the first time since discovering her husband's death was a suicide she found herself smiling at a memory of him. "He used to sing me to sleep."

"Pardon?" Patrick asked in surprise.

"He used to sing me to sleep" she said shyly. "I always had a hard time falling asleep – still do most nights - and Drew would sing to me. On the nights he had to work late he would call me and sing to me over the phone. When I was pregnant he would sing to my belly to try and get the kids to settle down at night and then he would sing to me."

"He loved you very much."

"I know" she said softly. "It still doesn't feel like it was enough but I know that." Uncomfortable with the attention on her, Nathalie let go of his fingers. "So tell me more about your great campaign of woo."

He shrugged. "That's the thing – there was no great campaign – I wouldn't even admit to myself that I was wooing her until I broke up with her."

"Why did you break up with her?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Because I saw her hugging Nikolas actually."

"You broke with her because of a hug?" she laughed. "Did you take the short bus to work that day?"

"Well not exactly. I broke up with her because I was overwhelmed with feelings for her. Seeing her hug Nikolas just gave me the excuse I needed to be a jerk."

"I see – and are you still overwhelmed now?"

"I am. The difference is I like it. I love being bowled over by her love. I like feeling like my heart is going to explode when I look at her or when I see her holding our son. I love the feelings of expansion when she told me she was pregnant again. I'm not scared of how I feel about her – not anymore." The love and adoration in his voice was unmistakable and Nathalie found herself moved by his admission.

"Okay then."

"Okay then?"

"We need a plan to get you back to being bowled over and expanded. What's the first thing we need to do?"

"Get out of these cuffs? But we need something to pick them and trust me, I've searched everywhere – there is nothing down here."

Nathalie swung her legs over the bed and stared at her friend. "I know where there is."

"Where?"

"The exam room – there are paper clips and needles in there. All I have to do is get back up there."

"What?" he shook his head. "No way - out of the question."

"Why?"

"I'm not letting you go back up there to be …I'm not letting you go back to that room." His body trembled with suppressed rage at the thought of what happened to her. His thoughts turned to his pregnant wife and what he would do if the same thing happened to her.

"I'll be fine" she said with a confidence she didn't quite feel. "The best thing that can happen to us is to get out of here –if the first step is getting out of the cuffs then we need to get out of the cuffs."

"Then let me" he offered. "Let me fake some kind of illness and get up to the room."

Nathalie shook her head furiously. "Not a chance. We don't know why they have you and they are as likely to shoot you as treat you." She patted her belly. "I have the heir so they won't hurt me."

Unsure of her proposal, Patrick didn't get another opportunity to debate it with her as she immediately doubled over, grabbing hold of her stomach. She moaned and writhed on the bed. Giving him a look, Patrick took his cue and began to cry for help, hoping against hope that they weren't overplaying his hand. His cries grew louder and more frantic and he realized they wouldn't have to wait long to find out as the door was pushed open and two guards came running down the staircase.


	73. Chapter 73

Chapter 69

Thwack thwack. Thwack thwack.

His muscles ached and his body glistened with sweat as he pounded the heavy bag one punch at a time. On the verge of being consumed by his rage he didn't know what else to do but try and sweat it out. Piece by piece his carefully constructed life was falling apart. In one moment he had experienced unprecedented happiness, building his life with Nathalie and her children and in the next moment it was gone. Failure was an unfamiliar result for him but there could be no other assessment of his performance. She needed him - she had been drugged and nearly assaulted - she was pregnant and likely scared and he, rather than demonstrate the requisite patience and love that she continually gave him, had reacted aggressively. His fists found the bag over and over again as if absolution for his part in the madness could be found at the end of a punch. His legs started to shake from exhaustion as he continued to pound on the bag. He wanted to bring Nathalie home, he needed to be the one to bring her home but he was foiled at every turn. He was a failure and when Nathalie was rescued she would see him for who he was and it would be over. Exhausted and physically spent, he pulled off his gloves, tossed them across the room and slid to the floor. Leaning his head against the wall, he wiped the sweat from his eyes with the back of his taped hands.

She had quickly become so central to his life that he found it difficult to remember what it was like without her. He missed the way their bodies wrapped around each other at night - the feel of her breath on his skin as she slept. He ached to see her smile because he was convinced that one of her smiles was for him alone. But the one thing that left the greatest hole in his heart was knowing she was pregnant and he was missing even a minute of it. The Devanes and the Scorpios may be concentrated on rescuing Nathalie and Patrick but he was going to ensure, one way or another, that his grandmother paid with her life for what she had done.

Lulu pushed open the door to the gym and scanned the room before finally seeing her brother slumped in the far corner. Crossing the room, Lulu slid down the wall beside him. "Hey" she said quietly. "You're back."

Nikolas opened his eyes but didn't look at his sister. "Got back a few hours ago."

"Any word on Nathalie?"

He shook his head. "There's a whole group of people working on it so I'm sure they'll find her -them - soon."

"They?" Lulu raised her eyebrows. "They? What about you?"

"What about me? All I'm good for is providing the funding."  
"What on earth are you talking about?"

Nikolas shrugged one shoulder. "All the heroes have arrived - the Spencers and the Devanes including Robin's superninja cousin or something. No doubt he looks good in a cape and tights. They don't need me."

Shocked at her brother's defeatist attitude, Lulu moved in front of him and pulled his hands down to her lap, untaping them. As she unraveled the tape, she stretched out his hand, massaging the palm and his fingers. "Having a bit of a pity party?" she asked quietly.

"Something like that" he mumbled, staring over her shoulder.

"Ethan and I went to see Gracie to tell her that her mom had the flu and couldn't come to the hospital for a while."

"That's good" he said flatly.

Cupping his chin, Lulu forced him to look at her. "What's going on with you?"

"Nathalie's missing." Every time he said the words they sliced at him, deepening wounds that were not being given the chance to close.

"That much I got - from Brenda, not you by the way - but Nikolas - what is wrong with you? Why aren't you looking with them? Why aren't you out doing something?"

He shrugged. "I caused this Lulu - Helena has Nathalie and it's my fault. And how will I ever be able to live with myself if something happens to Patrick? If I bring any kind of pain to Robin and her family beyond what I've already brought?"

"You? You did this? Did you start working with Helena and not tell me? Did you *tell* her to kidnap Nathalie?" Giving her an incredulous look, he shook his head. "Didn't think so."

"You don't understand..."

"So tell me."

Nikolas closed his eyes. Sharing confidences had never been a strong suit of his. Cassadines, particularly the men, were raised to be strong, stoic and unfailingly independent. Confiding in another person, telling them your fears or worries was a sign of weakness that could be exploited by an enemy or adversary. Cassadine men were caretakers not care receivers. He had been well trained by his family and had held much back during his marriage to Emily and engagement to Courtney but Nathalie had been different. Her quiet resolve, her strength and her complete love for him had opened him in ways he was not used to. As they built their trust with each, established their relationship, he became accustomed to telling her his feelings and worries. They would often lie in bed at night, legs tangled round each other and with gentle prodding she would get him to reveal more of himself. Never once did she make him feel weak or less than for doing so. But her absence left him at a loss on how to voice his feelings without her encouragement. He felt lke a man with a foot in two worlds.

Discomforted by his slience and the far away look in his eyes Lulu moved beside him and put her arm around his shoulders. "Here's the thing Nik - you saved my life - twice. Once when I was a baby and then ago a few months ago. I didn't think I could go on, I didn't think I had anything to live for - I felt totally hopeless and you, you kept giving me hope in a million little ways. You made sure that I would never know what it was like to be alone and so now it's my turn. You must be scared out of your mind but you don't have to be alone - I'm here for you."

Dropping his head to her shoulder, Nikolas let out a heavy sigh. "Do you know she's pregnant?"

"I heard."

"I was horrible to her Lu. I was as mean as I could possibly be to her and those were the last things I said to her. The last thoughts she has of me are me yelling at her."

"Last thoughts are not the only thoughts."

Lifting his head, Nikolas furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Just that they aren't her only thoughts of you Nikolas. You don't think she's going to remember all the good times - the moments between you - your proposal - first kiss - the day you told her you loved her - whatever. She won't only remember the bad." She pulled on her bottom lip thoughtfully. "It seems to me you have a choice here - you can sit here, feeling sorry for yourself, for the things that were said or you can get over yourself and start working on bringing her home so you can apologize to her and remind her of just how much you love her."

Nikolas smiled gratefully at his sister, amazed at the thoughtful, insightful woman she was becoming. "Are you giving me tough love Lu?"  
"I am. And I'll kick your ass as many times as it takes for you to get your shit together" she smiled.

He pressed his lips into her temple, feeling lighter for the conversation. "I love you Lulu."

"Me too big brother."

*******

Aidan sat on the couch bouncing Rian on his knee. "I can't believe you have a baby" he remarked wondrously.

"Almost two" she said patting her stomach.

"You're a long way from the person I hung out with in Paris."

Sitting down beside him, she touched Rian's cheek. The house had been abuzz for hours until Robert gave everyone their orders and they dispersed leaving Robin alone in the quiet. Aidan had checked in to his room at the MetroCourt before returning to visit with his cousin. The silence in the house had unnerved her and despite her constant assertions that she was coping, she was grateful to see Aidan back on her doorstep. "I'm not that far from her."

Aidan smiled at his cousin, admiring the confident, assertive woman she had become - more and more like her mother every day. "You know, I never thought it possible but both your mother and your father seem to like your husband - he must be quite a guy."

Robin smiled at the memory of her parents and her uncle doing their best to intimidate him but in typical Patrick fashion he wasn't fazed by it at all. "He is - you'd really like him."

"Well if he has had any part to play in your happiness then I'm sure I will." Rian began to fuss and Aidan gave him his pinkie finger to suck on.

Settling against the back of the couch, Robin tucked her legs underneath her. "So how is it that you have been following Helena?"

Grinning, Aidan shook his head. "Nice try cuz, but I can't talk about it." Robin arched her eyebrow. "It's an ongoing investigation and my clients wouldn't be too happy if I started broadcasting their intentions."

"Fine. Then tell me how it is that you know Nathalie."

"Heard that did you?"

"Yup" she smiled. "As did her fiance who looked like he wanted to hurt you, so spill."

"I haven't seen her in a number of years - I still get Christmas cards from her and the like but it's probably been eight or nine years."

"That's all very interesting but you still haven't told me how you know her" Robin pressed good naturedly.

He shrugged. "We met in military school. Her parents had enrolled her in England and we were in the same class. She was tough and mouthy and contstantly in trouble."

"And you fell for her..."

"Hard" he grinned. "You know me and bad girls Rob."

"I do" she giggled. "Like a moth to a flame."

"Pretty much. We dated on and off until her parents moved back to the States. I would run in to her every once in a while after that and then one day I got an e-mail from her telling me she was getting married - I was happy for her. We haven't seen each other since."

Robin tapped her finger against her chin. "Were you....were you in love her?"

"We were kids Robin - it was a different time - we were different people."

Picking up on his desire to change the subject Robin simply nodded. Reaching over to the coffee table, she picked up the photo of Helena's partner, Anthony. She traced the outline of his face with the tip of her finger. There was something about his eyes that unsettled her, they were cold and familiar. She wracked her brain trying to think of other encounters or run-ins with him but was drawing a blank.

Seeing the look of concentration on her face, Aidan pursed his lips together. "What's going on in that big brain of yours?"

Shrugging, Robin continued to stare at the photograph. "I can't help but think this is about me."

"What do you mean?" he asked, his eyebrows raised. "Helena has Nathalie because she's pregnant."

"But we don't know why she has Patrick" she countered. "And maybe it's about me. There is no love lost between the Scorpios and the Cassadines. Patrick's value is strategic if I'm the ultimate target."

"Uh-oh"

"Uh-oh?" Robin repeated, meeting his eyes.

"I know that look" he pointed to her. "Your wheels are turning and that means you're going to want to do something."

"Maybe if Anthony is so desperate to talk to me that he keeps making up excuses to run in to me I should help him out."

Adian narrowed his eyes. "I really don't like where this is going."

"I can be bait" she said simply. "I can draw him out and then he can lead us to Patrick and Nathalie."

"No way - not a chance" Aidan said quickly. "There is no way we are using you as bait of any kind."

"Why not? He is clearly interested in me - let's use that."

"Robin - you're pregnant and while I haven't met your husband, I feel confident that he would kill us slowly and painfully if we let anything happen to you."

"Well in order for him to do that he would need to be home. This would be a way to get him home."

"It's too dangerous - we don't know anything about this guy. It's out of the question." Robin opened her mouth to protest but was cut off by the shrill ring of his cell phone. Taking her son from his lap Robin watched as Aidan walked to the kitchen to take the phone call. She picked up the photograph again and stared at it. He was the key to getting her husband back.

"I have to run" Aidan said as he came back in to the room.

"Okay" she smiled. "Thanks for coming back."

Leaning down, he kissed Rian on his cheek. "Bye little one" he said quietly. Kissing Robin's cheek, he looked at her intently. "We'll get him back Robin, I promise."

Smiling confidently, she nodded. "I know."

"Promise me you won't do anything without checking with one of us first?"

"I promise" she agreed, hoping her cousin didn't notice she had crossed her fingers.


	74. Chapter 74

Chapter 70

Noah stood and watched as the Harders wheeled Grace down the hallway. Arriving with a new book to read to her he had been surprised to find Dr. Garcia signing off her discharge papers and Nathalie's parents packing her things. Unsure if they were aware of Nathalie's kidnapping, he pulled her father aside and told him about his daughter being taken hostage but that everything was being done that could be. For a brief moment he saw concern flash across John Harder's face but it was quickly replaced by a coldness that shocked Noah. Declaring his daugther was the creator of her own misfortune, he told Noah that their only concern was taking care of his grandchildren.

Reminded of the terror on Grace's face on New Year's Eve as she struggled to process the news that her father had killed himself, Noah was determined to protect her and he informed him that all Grace knew was that her mother had the flu and was too sick to come to the hospital and that Patrick was away on a business trip. He asked him, begged him, to keep up the pretense so as not to further traumatize the young girl. John Harder sniffed, thanking Noah for his help but letting him know that he and his wife would be making all further decisions regarding what Grace and Oliver would and would not be told.

The Harders allowed him a few short minutes to say goodbye and he held back his tears as the young girl extracted a promise from him to visit her. She asked for her mother and Noah was sure that she didn't quite believe him when he told her she was getting better every day but he was at a loss as to what else to tell her. Shaking his head in disbelief as her grandparents piled her in to a wheelchair and set off. The young girl, with colour returning to her face and the dark circles under her eyes fading, turned around in her chair and blew kisses at Noah until she turned the corner and was gone from sight.

He slammed his hands against the Nurses Station equal parts angry and defeated. Visiting and reading to Grace had been as much about making himself feel better as it was about her. During the years when he and his son had little more than a passing acquaintance with each other, Patrick had built another life for himself, another support system. His best friend and his wife had offered him a home and a refuge because Noah couldn't. He was as much a part of the Walker family as he was the Drakes. The inclusion of Grace in his life and then Oliver gave him the unconditional love he needed - an opportunity to be larger than life and be loved. Spending time with Grace allowed Noah to feel close to his son, to momentarily quell the ever present panic at the thought of what was happening to Patrick. And now she was out of reach, just like Patrick.

Grabbing the chart he had in his hands when he arrived on the scene, he stormed back to his office rage percolating inside of him. Everything was out of his control - he had no idea where his son or his friend were or what was happening to them and now two people who cared very little for anything other than control had just taken away a vital link. The serenity prayer rolled around in his head but he found little ability to accept the things he could not change. He refused to accept the status quo.

He kicked open the door to his office, letting it smash against the wall. Once through, he kicked it shut with a mighty thud; he hurled the chart across the room, temporarily satisfied at the dent it made in the wall. Slumping into his chair, he exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I think I may have come at a bad time."

His eyes snapped open at the familiar voice and he looked to the door but saw nothing. The light by his couch turned on and he smiled involuntarily as he saw Brenda sitting on the couch dressed in his lab coat. "Hi."

She bit her lip feeling decidedly silly at her ploy to surprise him at work. "Surprise?" Getting up from the couch, she uncurled her long legs and pulling his lab coat around her walked to him. Pushing herself up on his desk, she sat in front of him, her palms holding on to the arms of his chair. "Want to talk about it?"

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face. "You know, just when I think I get to a place of tolerance, where I can just barely comprehend everything that's going on and still function something goes and knocks the world off its axis."

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"The Harders came and took Grace home with them to Virginia. It just feels like..."

"Like Patrick and Nathalie are suddenly further away?" she offered.

Noah's eyes brimmed with tears as he looked into the face of the woman he loved. "I've missed you" he said hoarsely.

Swallowing thickly, Brenda nodded. "Me too." Cupping his cheek, she stroked her thumb under his eye. "We'll do this together."

He let out a long, slow breath as he realized she was wearing his lab coat, a pair of red stilettos and very little else. "Dare I ask what brings you by?"

Brenda smiled sheepishly. "Afternoon delight? I thought I would surprise you but it seems like not a good idea right now."

His hand drifted to her thigh and moved slowly underneath the coat. "I could use a change of pace" he said as he gazed in to her eyes.

"Are you sure? Because we can just talk if you want - or go for a walk."

He heard her breath hitch as his hand, burrowing under the lab coat, skimmed across her taught abdomen. "Do you want to talk? Or walk?" he asked, his eyes becoming glassy with lust. Brenda simply shook her head. "I can't help but notice you're wearing a lab coat - are you a doctor?" A sultry smile formed on her face and she shook her head as her dark silky hair tumbled around her shoulders. "Hmmm" he mused. Rising from his chair, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the couch. Laying her gently on the couch, he lowered himself beside her, taking care not to put his full weight on top of her. Noah pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly, deeply. Brenda pressed her hands into his chest, moaning slightly. She sucked ardently on his lips, searching for his tongue with her own, her body undulating against his. She slid her hands under his scrub top, tracing the outline of his chest and grazing his nipples with her fingers. Noah sighed against her mouth as his anger was slowly replaced by the love he felt for her. With a steady hand, he flicked open the buttons on the lab coat and let out a small gasp as the white material fell away from her body.

"You're - you're naked" he said as his eyes swept over her body.

"I told you" she smiled seductively "by agreeing to be my roommate, I would be naked alot."

A small growl escaped his lips as he lowered his head to her breasts. He teasingly ran his hand over one breast, feeling her nipple pebble and harden, while he outlined the curve of the other with his tongue. Brenda felt herself wet at Noah's touch. None of the lovers before made her feel the way he did but then none of them had loved her as honestly and truly as he did. She ran her hands through his soft hair, urging him to take more of her in his mouth. Relenting, Noah flicked her nipple with his tongue before taking her completely in his mouth, suckling greedily.

Impatient to feel his smooth skin against hers, Brenda pulled his top from his head tossing it across the room. She pressed her lips against his chest, delighting in his taste. His muscles twitched as her hands swept across his torso and Noah let go of her breast allowing the feelings she created in him to wash over. Pushing him to a sitting position, she slid from his lap and on to the floor. Shrugging off his coat, she looked up at him, holding his gaze as she removed his shoes and then pulled his scrub pants down his lean, muscular legs. Noah hissed as his erection was released from the confines of his pants. Reaching up with her hand she dragged her fingers along the outline through his boxer-briefs. Pushing his legs apart, she positioned herself between him, kissing his arousal through the soft cotton material. "Jesus" Noah hissed.

Brenda slipped her hand inside his waistband and pushed them over his hips while he threaded his fingers through her hair. Making love to Brenda made him feel like a young man again, made him feel desirable in a way that he thought was lost forever. His eyes closed as she closed her warm mouth around him, her tongue working his sensitive head in small circles. His cock twitching and pulsing in response, he leaned forward and pulled her on to his lap. Cupping her face, he crashed his mouth over hers, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth. Breathlessly breaking the kiss, he pushed her bangs from her face. "You are so beautiful to me" he whispered. Brenda assaulted his neck while stroking his length before lining him up against her slick channel and lowering herself slowly until he filled her completely.

She rocked her hips back and forth as he thrust into her, his hands roaming her body as if discovering it for the first time. Wrapping his arms around her he let his fingers trail down her back as they continued to build to their release. Intoxciated by the feeling of him inside of her, Brenda attached her lips to his neck and then his shoulders, stopping to suck on the hollow of his neck. She smiled against his skin as he shivered in response. Her fingers lightly traced the outline of his celtic cross tattoo on his arm. Dipping her head, she retraced it with her tongue while he continued to thrust hard against her. Linking her hands behind his neck, they locked eyes with each other both dizzy with desire and love. Pressing her breasts against his hot skin, she clenched and tightened around him until she felt the beginnings of his orgasm. Lowering his head to her shoulder, he bit softly to keep from crying out as his body shuddered and trembled from his climax. Brenda followed him over the edge letting wave after wave of release and pleasure wash over her.

Spent, Noah leaned back against the couch, holding her tightly to him as he placed one soft kiss after another on her cheek. She nestled in against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I've never taken care of another person before but I am going to take such good care of you."

*****  
Nathalie continued to moan, gripping her sides as Patrick called for help. The look on his face told her that he was still unsure about her plan but it was too late to turn back now. Two guards came racing down the stairs stopping at her bed.

"What's going on?" the first one asked. Turning her head, Nathalie surrepetitiously stuck her finger down her throat just long enough to activate her gag reflex and promptly vomited all over the guard.

"She's sick, dumbass" Patrick seethed.

"Aren't you a doctor?" the second one asked, unhappy that the boss' prize prisoner was writhing in pain and vomiting.

Patrick held up his hands defiantly. "Not much good like this am I? Are you going to do something or let her miscarry right there?" he asekd jumping up from his bed.

"Miscarry?" the first guard asked. "Shit - Madame won't like this - quick! grab her, we have to get her to the doc." Nathalie continued to groan and grip her stomach as the guard unlocked her, picked her up and slung her over his shoulder to carry her upstairs. Her head over his shoulder, she caught Patrick's eye and gave him a reassuring wink before disappearing from view. He sank back to his bed hoping they hadn't grossly underestimated the situation.

The guard deposited Nathalie on the bed of the exam room as she curled in to a ball squeezing tears from her eyes. "Don't move" the guard threatened, "I'm going to get the doc."

She sprung up as soon he closed the door behind him. Sliding from the bed she started to pull the drawers open in a desperate search for something, anything that could be used to jimmy the locks on their cuffs. Her eyes flashed with satisfaction as she found half a dozen large paper clips. Grabbing hold of them, she quickly slipped them on to her bra to avoid detection. She pressed her ear against the door and hearing no movement, carried on with her inspection of the tiny room. Taking one of the four pens, she shoved it in to her pocket along with the needle portion of two syringes. As she heard the footsteps approaching, she jumped bak on the bed and grabbed hold of her stomach. Gagging on her finger one more time before the door opened, she managed to vomit just as the doctor came in.

Surprised at the sudden turn in her health, he moved quickly, turning her on to her side and feeling for a temperature. "Are you okay Nathalie?"

"Stomach hurts" she croaked out.

"Okay, I'm going to need to do another ultrasound, can you lie on your back for me?"

She shook her head. "It hurts" she whined.

Gently, with more tenderness than she expected, he straightened her out and undid her jeans and pushed up her shirt. She continued to moan as he squirted the gel on her belly and ran the wand over her. He watched the screen carefully and was relieved to see no change in the baby. "The baby is fine Nathalie." He wiped the gel from her belly and pulled down her shirt, leaving her to do up her pants on her own. "You don't have a fever, I suspect it's a combination of stress and morning sickness. Have you slept at all?"

She glared at him as best she could. "You're kidding right?" she said hoarsely. "I was kidnapped and being held prisoner - not to mention what...." her voice trailed off, her courage failing her for just a moment. "This is not a situation conducive to resting." Getting up from his stool, the doctor filled a syringe and walked back to her, pushing her sleeve up. Nathalie struggled against him but he had a firm grip on her. "What is that?"

"Compazine." He plunged the syringe in to her arm. "It will help with the nausea and will help you rest. I'm here to take care of you Nathalie."

Lifting her head but taking care not to blow her cover she seethed at him. "Take care of me? You are a souless, hideous excuse for a person."

"Now, now" he said condescendingly, "stress isn't good for the baby." He opened the door and motioned for the guard to take her back downstairs. "She's going to be groggy so make sure you support her." He turned to Nathalie and smiled sweetly. "I'll make sure there is some soothing food waiting for you when you wake up. Rest well Nathalie."

She struggled to her feet, shaking off the doctor's assistance. Doing up her jeans, she pulled away slightly as the guard clamped his hand around her arm. They walked down the hall and though the medication was taking effect, she did her best to take in as many details as she could. As they made their way to the stairs, voices could be heard coming from a room off to the side. She recognized Helena's voice immediately.

"Listen you little toad - the pregnant slut is my ONLY concern. I have no use for the young doctor - he fits your plan not mine."

"You agreed" the male voice protested.

"Yes well, he is a liability. You have 10 days to get done what you need done and then I am disposing of your captive - permanently."


	75. Chapter 75

Chapter 71

Nathalie fought against the sedating effects of the medication as the guard led her back down the stairs. She needed to tell Patrick what she knew before she passed out. Even in her drug induced haze she could see the worry on his face as they walked or in her case, stumbled, down the stairs. He sat on the edge of his bed, nerves twitching and ready to pounce. She did her best to smile reassuringly at him but imagined she looked more crazy than confident. Still gripping her by the arm, the guard deposited her on the bed and locked up her hands.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly as the guard walked back up the stairs. "Did they hurt you?"

She shook her head. "No but they're going to hurt you" she slurred.

"What? Nat what did they do to you?" He was unsure he would be able to keep himself in check if they hurt her again.

"Ultrasound. Baby is fine."

"They drugged you – what did they give you?"

Even in her state his panic rang through loudly. "Com-com-compazine" she stuttered. "I'm fine but listen – Helena – 10 days – wants to get rid of you." Her eyes rolled back in her head as she tried to stay awake. "We have….we need to get out." Patrick nodded though not fully registering what she was saying. Reaching into her top, she pulled out two paperclips. "Try these – I need to sleep." She put the clips on the floor and passed them as far as she could.

"Are you okay?" he asked one more time.

She nodded. "Too tired."

"Okay" he said in relief. "I'll try these – you sleep, okay baby?"

"P – we have to get out." Fast losing her battle against the medication, Nathalie slumped back on her bed. "Love you."

Patrick stared at her for several minutes before finally picking up the paper clips and starting to work on his cuffs. He smiled slightly thinking if only his wife could see him now.

_"Teach me how to pick a lock" he asked as they sat watching television._

"What?"

"I want to learn how to pick a lock." He ran his fingers through her hair, eliciting a small moan from her.

"What for?" she asked, finally turning to him.

"You never know when it may come in handy."

She rolled her eyes. "When are you ever going to need to pick a lock?"

"Well" he tapped his chin thoughtfully, "what if we have a fight and you lock me out?"

"As if I would do that" she snorted.

"What if I get locked out and I have Rian? And it's cold?"

"Your dad has a spare key."

"Why won't you teach me? Pleeease" he pleaded jokingly. "I want to have cool spy skills too."

"Fine" she sighed dramatically and went to retrieve her tool kit. 

Patrick's tongue darted out as he slowly and cautiously slid the paper clips inside the lock of the cuffs. He listened for the click that Robin had pointed out and after several tense moments nearly wept in relief as cuffs released. He slipped them from his wrists and tried to rub the pain and cramps from them. Happy to be freed from his bonds he also knew it was just a tiny step towards their ultimate goal.

Getting up from his bed, he walked over to Nathalie's bed and sat beside her, rubbing her back soothingly. Unable to comfort her earlier had been a frustration defying description but now he wanted her to know, even asleep, that she was okay. Taking her hand in his, his brought it to his mouth and kissed it. "You're a star" he whispered. "We are going to get out of this – I'll make sure of it."

*******  
Robin held the spoon to Rian's mouth but he wasn't the slightest bit interested in the pureed carrots and mushy peas. It had only been a few hours since the cavalry had descended on her house, loaded up and left. Lucky had managed to trace a series of wire transfers and bank accounts leading them to a house in upstate New York recently purchased by one of Helena's subsidiaries. A phone call to Nikolas had confirmed the information of Helena's companies and the decision was taken to move on it immediately. Her parents, Mac, Lucky and Aidan had met in the control centre that was her dining room and devised a rescue plan.

Her father had pulled her aside in to the living room. _"We're going to bring him home luv – both of them" he said confidently._

"I believe you." She looked into her father's piercing blue eyes and was sustained by the unwavering certainty they reflected.

He stroked her cheek and pulled her into his arms. "You are my daughter and I will not let anyone hurt you or impact your happiness in any way."

"I love you daddy."

"Me and all Robin, me and all."

Pulling out of the hug, she smiled at him. "But you be safe – all of you. It's not the slightest bit acceptable to me that any of you get hurt."

Robert grinned. "Haven't you heard? The Scorpios, Spencers and Devanes have more lives than Morris the Cat."

"Nice to know your ego is still working fine."

He pressed his lips against her forehead. "You just take care of you and my grandchildren. Your husband will be home by tonight." 

"You know something's up, don't you sweetpea?" Robin asked her son. "But it's okay, Daddy's coming home really soon and then the three of us can hang out on the couch, watch tv, go play in the park – just lots and lots of time with Daddy."

Robin rubbed her belly in a futile effort to undo the knots. There was so much at stake, almost every person that she loved was either being held captive or working on the rescue and she shuddered to think of the consequences if even one thing went wrong. It had been five long, nearly sleepless days since Patrick went missing and while she had been hanging on as best she could, the end of her rope was fast approaching. When she was alone, when Rian was in bed and the only sound in the house was the normal creaks and groans, she would dial his voice mail at work or on his cell phone just to hear his voice. The soft, buttery baritone that made her stomach flutter the very first time he opened his mouth made her feel less afraid.

She tired not to over think the situation, a fatal flaw of hers that both amused him and irritated him. For him, she tried to just be in the moment and do what needed to be done without letting her mind race too far ahead but now that they were on their way, now that he could be home, she couldn't stop her brain from working overtime. Was he hurt? Was he hurt badly? Was he scared? Did Nathalie comfort him? Did he comfort her? Did he feel all alone? She wanted him, she needed him to be home with her and she swore the minute he walked through the door she would not let him out of her sight ever again.

"Daddy's coming home baby boy. He's coming home."

******  
It was a quiet drive up through the back roads into cottage country. Each member of the team was focused on their assignment and the singular importance of bringing Nathalie and Patrick home. There was a nervous energy in the air as equipment was checked and re-checked. Ammunition and explosives were lined up and passed out. Each one of them was personally invested in the outcome and failure was simply not an option.

They pulled off the side of the road and waited for dusk before exiting the van. Split into groups, they moved around the house with the exception of Aidan, a sharpshooter, who positioned himself at a distance to take down any and all enemies. Giving the signal, Robert waved everyone forward and they stealthily entered the house.

The old farm house was in complete darkness and Anna had an uneasy feeling as they moved forward. There was no sign of life, the dust on the furniture and walls indicated that there had been no visitors for quite some time. Making eye contact with Mac, they moved slowly, in tandem until she stopped short.

"Anna?" he whispered.

"Tripwire. TRIPWIRE" she yelled to everyone in the house. "Get out! It's going to blow!" She spun around and pushed him back the way they came, running out the front door just as the entire house exploded.


End file.
